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Main Characters
Dick Jett
"Would a racist own this?"
"You don't know a thing about me if you think you can come in here and spew that Pinko gobbledygook! Oh, you Commies use a lotta fancy words, don'tcha, like 'Bourgoisie', 'Oligarchy' and 'Feminism'! But there's one word you'll never understand: Freedom!"
Played by: Andrew "Atun-Shei Films" Rakich
A 1950s g-man cryogenically frozen by an evil Nazi conspiracy and thawed out in the present day. He's opened a private detective agency out of the back of a tire shop, where he struggles to deal with a alien and vaguely hostile modern world in the Frozen '50s Man show.
- The Alcoholic: Even setting aside the fact that he's from the '50s and drinks like it, Dick tends to self-destruct with alcohol when he's not on a case. At the start of Episode 2, during a cold streak in cases, the inside of his office is a wasteland of beer cans, and he chugs mouthwash while cleaning himself up.Dick's Inner Monologue: Now, Ms. Buttle kept going on about how I was an "addict" and I "needed help". I just smiled and nodded the way I always do when a woman is talking nonsense. Sure, I like a drink, but I ain't no lush. I can quit the sauce no problem. Just need some mouthwash to take the edge off and I'm right as rain.
- Bait-and-Switch: In Episode 2, while being informed about the 2021 insurrection at the United States capitol, Dick Jett is horrified, and seems to finally find common ground with Alexis as he expresses his belief that anyone who desecrates the capitol building ought to have the book thrown at them... just like those god-damned Puerto Ricans in '54!
Alexis even gives him a chance to walk it back, asking if he sees a difference between desperate and colonized people denied franchise and a mob refusing to accept the legitimate result of a free and fair election when they didn't like it. Dick confirms he does not. - Bunny-Ears Lawyer: In the first episode, Alexis Buttle, a young black woman with an academic background in both progressive politics and criminal justice, sought him out because, despite his rigid and rabid conservatism and general troubles with the modern day, he's a damn good detective when he can get out of his own way.
- Character Development: Throughout the first episode he refers to Alexis as his secretary, but after the first case is solved he says he wants to hire her as his partner.
- Comically Missing the Point: A frequent Running Gag. Just as an example, when asked if he'll have trouble working with a black woman, he reassures her he's not racist in a... unique way.Dick: Would a racist... own this? (pulls out a Nazi swastika flag) note
- Corrupted Character Copy: In Episode 3's parody of The Maltese Falcon (1941), he serves as one to Sam Spade, as a detective chasing an artifact after his partner gets killed with the aide of a sketchy Love Interest. Unlike that movie, however, his Love Interest truly wasn't to blame for his partner's murder....but Dick pinned the murder on her anyway, figuring that someone was going to go down for it and he wouldn't let that be him, and showing him to be a far more selfish and immoral character than Spade.
- Deliberate Values Dissonance: As with many Atun-Shei Films characters, Jett is a representative of a different time; that is, he's a zealous anti-communist who vaguely associates progressive social causes with dastardly commie plots, has a view of women somewhere between patronizing and objectifying, and starts the first episode of his series peeping with binoculars through a woman's window to watch her undress, then drinks, drives, and speeds to get to his office quickly enough to respond to a job prospect.
- A Dick in Name: Him having a '50s mentality (due to being frozen in the '50s) leads to him coming off as a bit of a jerk in the modern United States, and his name is Dick.
- Dirty Communists: Sees them under every bedsheet and often caterwauls about the evils of Communism while also clearly simultaneously having no idea what Communism is, conflating it with Marxism and believing all American "Communism is an evil political system that hates freedom and individuality" propaganda from the fifties.Dick: Under Communism, a man has no individuality, no freedom! He merely serves at the pleasure of his party, and his government! And fellas, fellas, ain't that just like signing a blank check and handing it over to a stranger? When I go on to my computer-machine and I switch the channel to that program with the little blue bird, I see more hammers and sickles than a parade in Red Square, and you know what!? It makes me mad!
- Drives Like Crazy: The one piece of technology he appears to have adapted to with relative ease is to drive a modern car, which would be justified given that he's a man who was frozen in the '50s, but even then, he's shown speeding and taking several sips of his flask when he first drives to meet Alexis Buttal at his office.Dick: My office was 20 minutes away. I got there in five.
- Everybody Has Standards: While Dick Jett has a lot of dated ideas about women, minorities (racial and religious) and the LGBT community, his bigotry nevertheless has its limits.
- He isn't against hiring a black woman to be his partner, even flirting with her on occasion, despite being against ending segregation, and is perfectly fine with working alongside female officers (even if he can be rather patronizing about it).
- Being from the era when the Nuclear Family was invented, he's still willing to work with and take on clients he would consider to be "sexual deviants", including openly gay men and people in polygamous relationships.
- Being an American patriot who killed Nazis in World War II, he is opposed to fascist rhetoric just as much as he hates communism (or at least fascist rhetoric he recognizes).
- In Episode 2, he meets a group of right-wing radicals who seemingly share his ideals on things like race, but he quickly realizes that they make him look moderate in comparison. He finds the January 6th insurrection to be woefully anti-American, he finds Tony Edgelord's far-right comedy (which is just him saying racist and sexist things for shock value) unfunny and sees QAnon's opposition to representative democracy as a red flag.
- Fish out of Temporal Water: Played for Laughs. His outdated ideas and frequent confusion about the 21st century is a common source of comedy.
- For Great Justice: This is his primary motivation for fighting crime, and he often waxes poetic about his idealized version of American freedom that was commonly held and even enforced in certain aspects in the fifties.
- Great Detective: While he has the aesthetics of a Private Detective, his powers of observation and deduction have his prospective partner, Alexis Buttle, admiringly compare him to Sherlock Holmes in the first episode.
- Hopeless with Tech: He's doing his best, but man, these computer-machines...
- Identical Stranger: Dick Jett is an inexplicable dead ringer for Klaus, since they're played by the same actor. He knows it too, it's how he killed Hitler while in disguise!
- I Take Offense to That Last One: When Alexis calls him out on the fact that he is not really that great of a detective, but rather "just another creepy old white guy who failed up", Jett merely retorts that he is "not that old".
- Lovable Sex Maniac: Even more so than the average sexually frustrated man of the '50s, Dick is both a Peeping Tom and a porn addict, but remains our relatable hero.
- Love-Interest Traitor: At the end of Episode 3, he reveals that he turned in his love interest to the FBI for the murder of his partner, a crime she didn't commit, because he didn't want to get in trouble for putting his partner in the lethal situation.Dick: J Edgar actually gave me a commendation for that, as a matter of fact.
- Meaningful Name: He's a Private Detective (i.e. a "private dick") and his name is Dick.
- Noble Bigot: Dick Jett does at least try to have a bit of sympathy for people and do the right thing... but, well, he's a 50s man in the modern United States, and has even more trouble navigating the weird and over-the-top world of, say, queer social media content creators than a normal person would.
- Patriotic Fervor: He truly believes in the American experiment, Warts and All...except due to the time period he was raised in, he believes there are no warts and that everything America has ever done was good and justified, which can lead to his vitriolic defense of the country sometimes unintentionally leaning toward the reactionary, especially when Communism is brought up.Dick: I wake up in the twenty-first century and what do I find? Rome in the fourth century, a declining empire! A culture rotting from the inside out! And the source of the rot is obvious, it's one of the most pernicious ideologies ever known to humankind!Senator Sleazy: Representative Democracy.Dick: What? No!, No, Communism!
- Politically Incorrect Hero: Dick Jett might be a brilliant detective, but he's... well, he's metaphorically and literally frozen in the 1950s.
- Private Eye Monologue: Naturally, as a parody of the archetype and the genre, he uses it frequently, complete with silly disconnect between what he reports and what the audience sees.
- Rhetorical Question Blunder: While Alexis is shooting him down in Episode 2 because she doesn't want to date a coworker, he asks, in a teasing and flirty way, whether or not aggressively hitting on a coworker in the workplace is now politically incorrect and is very put out when she informs him that it is.
- You Are a Credit to Your Race: After the first case, he the says Alexis's work was impressive "... for a woman".
- Would Hit a Girl: One of the first acts he's shown doing in modern times is punching out a woman with a "Medicare for All" sign.
- Verbal Tic: He has tendency to spout the old-timey "Hey, what's the big idea?" when he's surprised by something.
Alexis Buttle
"I want to do what you do. When I was a girl I wanted to be a police officer, but now...now I can't say I relish the idea of being a foot soldier in the army of the Capitalist billionaire class that serves a White Supremacist social order that seeks to repress anyone who doesn't fit inside this narrow and antiquated view of European cishet normalcy."
Played by: Kendra Unique
Dick Jett's partner, who originally responded to an ad for a secretary. Dick Jett's guide to the modern world and a helpful and intelligent investigator in her own right. She is eventually revealed to be the leader of ANTIFA, an anarchist organization, in episode 3.- All for Nothing: Her attempt to locate the Corsican Dildo and use the money it would make her to improve the world becomes this when it turns out Dick has no idea where it was and his lengthy story was just a giant waste of time.
- Belligerent Sexual Tension: At the start of the second act of Episode 2, her and Dick's sexual tension gets some working-over from their FBI handler, who narrates Alexis's inner turmoil about liking some things about Dick while finding others repulsive.
- Chummy Commies: She's one of the friendly main characters, and is clearly a full-on Leftist. Though she prefers the label of Liberatarian Socialist, she believes that Communism is an ultimate ideal to be achieved in society. Naturally, this causes friction between her and raving Commie-hater Dick.
- Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Generally helps Jett use any piece of technology more advanced than a car and keeps him on-track when his mind starts to wander or his '50s politics get in the way of the case.
- A Degree in Useless: Her major was criminal justice, which she found herself turned off from in light of the increasing revelation that some American police forces have been infiltrated by and/or become complacent towards white supremacist groups. Her minor was indigenous women's studies, something Dick Jett can barely understand, let alone respect.
- Hypercompetent Sidekick: She's far more capable of navigating the modern era than Jett.
- Not So Above It All: While she's almost always portrayed as the level-headed person who keeps Jett in check from his "frozen in the 50s" antics, she's shown to still be susceptible to some maladaptive social behaviors of today. When Conrad the Comrade's husband decries that his husband got "cancelled", Jett wonders why he didn't just stop using the "computer machine" for a while, to which Conrad's husband, already scrolling his phone, says that he doesn't understand what he's trying to say. It then cuts to Alexis also browsing her phone.
- Only Sane Man: In contrast to Dick Jett, who is still metaphorically frozen in the 50s after being literally frozen then, and to the bizarre modern day world of over-the-top sexual nihilism and maladaptive social behaviors both caused and fueled by social media, Alexis is a usually level-headed and sensible person who typically serves as Audience Surrogate.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: She quits working for Dick Jett and opens her own detective agency at the end of Episode 3 after listening to him tell a story about an old case in which he got his partner killed, let the murderer go free, and betrayed his love interest.Alexis: You're no brilliant detective. You're just another creepy old white guy who failed up.
- Soapbox Sadie: Downplayed. She's quite the political activist and radical progressive from the moment she and Dick first meet, but she's usually the more reasonable of the two until Episode 3, where she's revealed to be the leader of ANTIFA.
- Queer Establishing Moment: Episode 2 reveals her to be bisexual when Gina Bunkerson asks her if she would like to go out for a drink later in the week, and she accepts.
Klaus the Nazi
For Klaus' character sheet, look here.
Characters from Episode 1
Joel McGee
Played By: Matthew Taylor-Raetz
The Camp Gay husband of Conrad "The Comrade", Joel is the one who initally brings Dick's first case to his office, asking Dick to find his husband's murderer.- Camp Gay: He walks into Dick's office wearing extremely flamboyant clothing, and Dick is immediately confused when he says he has a husband.
- Dame with a Case: Gender inverted. Joel fills essentially the same role in the plot as one of these, but instead of a sultry Femme Fatale, he's a fruity, effeminate man.
Conrad "The Comrade" McGee(SPOILERS)
Played By: Randy Walker
An extremely popular Socialist twitch streamer. Conrad the Comrade fell from grace after he tweeted that not everyone who votes Republican is necessarily a bad person, and was seemingly murdered live on stream not long after. In reality, he seduced a fan of his and used him to fake his own death in order to escape online cancellation.- Expy: Of socialist streamer Vaush, although he's clearly much more of a Marxist than Vaush, who is a Libertarian Socialist. They both are queer, bearded livestreamers who go against the grain of the online Left and are frequently accused of being Liberals and not real Leftists.
- Heel–Face Door-Slam: Shot dead by Dick just after Alexis manages to talk him into turning himself in.
- I'm a Humanitarian: Liquifies Mohet Jazwal's remains into a smoothie and drinks him over a period of a month while hiding in the walls at Kit Thistle's house.
- Too Dumb to Live: Apparently he recorded a stream explaining in detail his plan to fake his death by killing one of his fans and then escape to Cuba. He is then shocked when his victim's husband figures out it was him from watching the stream (although in fairness, nobody else seems to have worked it out).
- Ungrateful Bastard: Openly hates his fans despite admitting all the good things they've done for him.Conrad: Fuck my fans! What have my fans ever done for me? Apart from pay for all my bills...my rent...my trip to Cuba...I hate my fans!
Crosswalk Price
- Not Hyperbole: They say that their alibi during Conrad's murder was having tea with Queen Elizabeth, and Dick initially assumes they're just being indignant, until Alexis sources a picture of them indeed having tea with the Queen at the time, confirming their story.
- Strawman Political: Mx. Price is an unflattering caricature of terminally online Authoritarian Leftists, and at one point calls Emma Goldman a "goddamn Nazi bitch".
Kit Thistle
Played By: Philip Yiannopolous
The host of the web video series Palaeontology Tube, Kit Thistle is a Breadtuber who also had a grudge against Comrade the Comrade. Dick and Alexis go to his house to interrogate him, but he denies everything. However, after Dick roughs him and his partners up a little bit after being caught snooping around his house, he commits suicide by cyanide capsule.- Armored Closet Gay: Inverted. Despite being being publicly known as a flamboyant pansexual man in a polyamorous relationship, Thistle's terrible Dark Secret was that he was actually heterosexual and desired a monogamous relationship. Conrad blackmailed him into aiding his scheme by threatening to out him.
- Captain Ersatz: Of Abigail Thorn, the host of Philosophy Tube, at least before she came out as trans. Their names and show titles are almost exactly the same.
- Could Say It, But...: His video "I'M GOING TO KILL CONRAD THE COMRADE" comes off as this, as he claims in the video that that's what he would say...if he were an Allosaurus.
- Depraved Pansexual: He apparently likes to have threesome orgies while dressed as a dinosaur. Later subverted when it turns out he's actually straight.
Mohet Jazwal
- Camp Gay: Even more so than Joel McGee, Conrad's husband.
- Sacrificial Lamb: Jazwal is the true murder victim of the episode, having been killed and eaten by Conrad the Comrade.
Characters from Episode 2
Agent Gina Bunkerson
Played by: Aubrey Brummett
An FBI agent who requisitions Dick's help in busting Senator Sleazy and Qanon due to his FBI background.- Big Beautiful Woman: She's a little on the heavier side, and Dick is clearly enamored by her, stating that she has "child-bearing hips". Unfortunately, she rejects his advances and asks Alexis out at the end of the episode.
Senator Clint Sleazy
"This is what it's all been about! Power, domination, fancy red-and-black uniforms! This is what the fight has all been for!"
Played by: Matthew Taylor-Raetz
The second-in-command of Qanon and Klaus' Dragon, Clint Sleazy is a ruthless senator seeking to undermine the representative democratic government of America.- A Nazi by Any Other Name: Once it's exposed that he's working directly with Klaus, an actual Nazi, he drops any pretense of fighting for free speech and justice in America, revealing he only cares about ruling the country with an iron fist.
- Artistic License – Politics: He at one point refers to Joe Biden as a "leftist radical", when Biden is by all accounts a centrist Democrat. This parodies the American Far Right's exaggerated claims of Democratic presidents like Biden and Obama being Communists or otherwise far left.
- Corrupt Politician: He's The Dragon of the (in-universe incarnation of) the Qanon organization and, like his fellow Q followers and MAGAheads, wants to overthrow the democratic government of America and replace it with a much more reactionary and authoritarian one. Satirically, at the end of the episode after his death, the FBI still tries to cover for him, since he was part of the ruling class and therefore is under their protection despite his efforts to dismantle American democracy.
- Straw Hypocrite: He is revealed to not actually care about Qanon's goals of helping President Trump save America from pedophile cannibals, and is fully willing to jump in bed with literal Nazis in his lust for power.
- Strawman Political: He outright lets slip that he thinks Representative Democracy is the worst thing plaguing the country, and is overall a satire of Far-Right American politicians.
- Take That!: When his boss Klaus says that the reason he does anything is "To sow disorder, to maximize chaos, to wreath the Multiverse in unquenchable fire and rule over the ashes as High King of Outer Darkness," he immediately interjects that that statement is perfectly in line with the modern Republican platform.
- You Have Failed Me: Falls victim to this at the hands of Klaus, who shoots him dead after he inadvertently causes the QAnon members to leave by revealing that they're working for the Nazis.
Qanon Inner Circle Members
Bill Racehate
"Hey, man! Soy Tits ain't no fuckin' joke! If I ever ate Soy, accidentally or otherwise, I'd put a gun in my mouth on the fuckin' spot!"
Played by: Matthew Rigdon
A phineas priest of the Aryan Nation for 20 years, a Knight of the Ku Klux Klan for 10, and (as of last friday) an active member of the Screen Actor's Guild. Bill catches wise that Dick is an undercover cop and after catching him snooping engages in a prolonged battle of Good Old Fisticuffs with him.- A Nazi by Any Other Name: Dick outright calls him out on this after he's revealed to be a part of the Aryan Nations, who are famous for using Nazi iconography like Hakenkreuzes.
- Artistic License – History: Parodied He claims that his hunter-gatherer forefathers ate hot dogs, which are perhaps the most famously overly machine-processed food in existence.
- Battle Strip: Bill removes his shirt before engaging in Good Old Fisticuffs with Dick.
- Beyond Redemption: It's worth nothing that the only member of Q Anon who doesn't abandon the movement upon learning it's under the control of an actual Nazi is the one who's part of a bunch of at least fascism-adjacent militia groups and is demonstrably violent on a personal level. Admittedly, because he's already dead, but it's still a strong contrast.
- The Brute: Bill is a towering mountain of muscle who easily manhandles Dick and puts up more than a fight against him. He even had Dick on the ropes before Alexis arrived just in time.
- Deep South: He speaks with a southern accent, and is extremely racist.
- Driven to Suicide: He tells everyone at the table that he'd commit suicide via gun-in-the-mouth if he ever ate soy. When Alexis brings a vegan burger to his battle with Jett, and he consumes it to top up on meat, he finds out and calmly puts his money where his mouth is... no pun intended.
- Honor Before Reason: Bill willingly eats a musket ball just because he ate a single soy burger after swearing to never eat soy.Bill: Man's gotta live by his principles. [shoots himself in the mouth]
- Horrible Judge of Character: Subverted. it looks like he lets Dick in even after Dick basically admits to being a cop because he's Dumb Muscle, but it turns out that he's the only one able to see through Dick's deception.
- Horrifying the Horror: Dick's deadpan stare freaks him out enough to convince him to let him into the Qanon meetup.Bill: ...You're fuckin' CRAZY, man!...I like it! I LIKE IT! Come on in!
- Kryptonite Factor: He threatens to kill himself if he ever eats soy, accidentally or otherwise. Guess how he dies.
- Manly Man: Parodied. Bill is insanely strong and powerful, but the only way he can retain his strength and affirm his masculinity is by constantly consuming red meat every 30 minutes. When Alexis tricks him into eating a soy burger, he commits suicide on the spot.
- Oh, Crap!: He has this reaction after Alexis tells him the burger he just ate was Vegan.Bill: ...Portabello Mushroom?Alexis: Soy.[Bill has a Villainous BSoD]
- Real Men Eat Meat: Exaggerated to a ludicrous degree. Bill constantly has to top up on meat to keep his masculine aura strong, and kills himself because he accidentally eats a soy burger.
- Token Competent Minion: He's the only one of the Qanon inner circle who is able to deduce that Dick is an undercover cop.
Squeaky McVirgin
"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! I WILL FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE AND I WILL SWAT YOU, CHUD! I WILL RAPE YOU, YOU GAY JEW! KEK! KEK! [collapses in anguish]"
Played by: Trent Davis
A leader in the Incel community and Qanon's official representative for 4chan. Squeaky is a shrill, easily-provoked member of Qanon who eventually defects after Q is revealed to be Klaus the Nazi.- Godwin's Law: He uses the phrase by name when it turns out the Q he's been working for is actually a living, breathing Nazi and not a heroic American freedom fighter working in secret from within the government.
- Heel–Face Turn: Alongside Tony Edgelord, he leaves QAnon after Clint Sleazy reveals that they're actually working for the Nazis.
- Internet Jerk: This is his primary personality trait. He's quite small, scared and feeble in real life, but online he's a 4channer, troll and keyboard warrior.
Tony Edgelord
"Women, am I right? Huh, boys? What are they even doing? 'Look how sexy I am, look at my curves! Now give me rights! Now let me vote!'"
Played By: Randy Walker
A standup comedian leading the brave war against the woke mob trying to destroy comedy. He's a big sensation on BitChute, where his videos have tens upon tens of views. He too abandons Qanon after Q is revealed to be Klaus.- Dude, Not Funny!: Dick is visibly appalled at Tony's sense of humor, which includes randomly comparing him to a 12-year-old Jewish schoolgirl dying in The Holocaust and just saying that Mexicans are midgets without elaborating.
- Heel–Face Turn: Alongside Squeaky McVirgin, he leaves QAnon after Clint Sleazy reveals that they're actually working for the Nazis.
- So Unfunny, It's Funny: Tony's comedy set is so juvenile, offensive and poorly-constructed that it loops back around into being hysterical satire.
- Straw Character: Tony is a satire of edgy standup comedians who say racist, sexist and otherwise bigoted statements without using the shock value from such statements to do any kind of comedic subversion, so they winds up just sounding like bigots and eventually start catering only to the part of their audience that finds racism and sexism with no deeper meaning funny inherently (I.E. the Far Right). He also lampoons these same comedians' tendencies to act like they're being persecuted for just making jokes, without ever stopping to consider that maybe people just don't find them funny
Characters from Episode 3
Bing Fluffernutters
Played by: Trent Davis
Dick's old partner in the FBI. Straight as an arrow. He is gunned down by a mysterious assailant in front of the hotel Caroline Dubois was staying at.- Ambiguously Gay: He tells Dick that he looks cute today, has a rather flamboyant manner, and is completely immune to Miss Dubois' charms. It's never elaborated upon, but it's unclear whether he's Camp Gay or Camp Straight. If Dick was comfortable working with him, it's likely that he at least thought he was the latter.
- Camp: To a ridiculous extent. He even dies wailing in a campy manner.
- Stuffed into the Fridge: His death motivates Dick to probe Miss Dubois further, but otherwise doesn't seem to affect Dick too greatly.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: He has exactly one scene before being killed, which kicks off the greater plot of the episode.
Caroline Dubois
"As you can tell by all the dead, tortured animals I'm wearing, I'm a very wealthy woman."
Played by: Linnea Gregg
A mysterious woman who approaches Dick and Bing with a case concerning her sister, whom has become entangled with an unscrupulous character named Willy Chodeman. She is later revealed to be a part of the dizzying whirlwind of intrigue surrounding the Corsican Dildo.- Dame with a Case: Parodied. Caroline Dubois arrives in Dick and Bing's office with a case and is a Femme Fatale who is obviously wealthy due to all the "dead, tortured animals" she's wearing. However, Dick and Bing are FBI agents, not private investigators, so Dick immediately points out that civilians aren't allowed to just waltz in and proposition specific agents with cases. Once Miss Dubois points out that she's rich, however, Dick decides to hear her out
- Femme Fatale: A classic, Film Noir type. Dick getting involved with her only leads him into more trouble.
- Live Mink Coat: One of her outfits is made out of alligator skin, and has a still-alive alligator head stuck to it. Dick shoots it dead before making out with her.
- Pretty in Mink: Parodied. Each time dick sees her, she is increasingly clad in heavier or more exotic animal fur.
Thebes Karnak
"You might say my profession is in Antiquities, but my true line of work is as ambiguous as my sexuality."
Played by: Philip Yiannopoulos
The right-hand man of Jimmy Two-Dicks, Thebes Karnak is an antiques specialist who disposes of Willy Chodeman and kidnaps Caroline Dubois at Two-Dicks' order, taunting Dick all the way.- Ambiguously Gay: He speaks with an...interesting accent, likes to put the head of his cane in his mouth, and outright claims that his sexuality is ambiguous. Becomes less ambiguous(at least in Dick's mind) when Dick discovers a ticket to a Judy Garland film festival in his wallet with the tagline "Bring your boyfriends!"note . He's also clearly based on Joel Cairo from The Maltese Falcon (1941), who was gay in the source material but was toned down to (very strong) subtext in the film itself.
- Captain Ersatz: Of Joel Cairo. They both serve the same role in the story, have very similar characterization and have Egyptian cities as last names.
Jimmy Two-Dicks
"Mr. Jett, have you an idea of what that one-eyed snake is worth? If I told you...if I told you HALF...why, you'd simply call me a liar, sir."
Played by: Matthew Rigdon
The Arc Villain of Episode 3, Jimmy Two-Dicks is an unscrupulous criminal who is obsessed with obtaining the Corsican Dildo at any and all cost, and apprehends Caroline Dubois due to her connection with Willy Chodeman and her probable knowledge of the Dildo's location. Using her as leverage, he forces Dick to appear before him to rescue her. When the Dildo turns out to be a fake, he loses it.- Exotic Equipment: He has two dicks. Rather large ones at that.
- Gag Penis: Much of the humor surrounding his character involves his two eponymous, gigantic dicks.
- Large Ham: He's very outwardly shouty, especially compared to his underling Karnak.
- Meaningful Name: He's probably named Jimmy Two-Dicks because he has two very large, very prominent penises that bulge outward from his tight-fitting pants.
- Villainous Breakdown: Upon inspecting the Dildo, he discovers it's a fake and that all he's worked for has been for naught. This causes him to start sobbing.
