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The_Dag Protect the Cinnamon Bun from bad to worse Relationship Status: LET'S HAVE A ZILLION BABIES
Protect the Cinnamon Bun
Jun 9th 2019 at 9:14:33 AM

Granted, you are a Sacrificial Lamb.

I wish I owned a gun.

Mankind is unlovable. No more kindness!
Spottedleaf Popsicle Hands from S.T.A.R. Labs Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Popsicle Hands
Jun 9th 2019 at 9:17:58 AM

Granted. It's just a nerf gun. After all, you didn't specify it had to be a working firearm!

I wish I had a machine that I could program to write the exact fanfiction I want to read right now, in perfect quality.

Willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause
Playing_with_boy Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Jun 9th 2019 at 9:58:21 AM

Granted. 100% of the fanfics is makes is CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

I want some steamed hams!

TairaMai rollin' on dubs from El Paso Tx Relationship Status: What is this thing you call love?
rollin' on dubs
Jun 9th 2019 at 12:52:31 PM

[up]Granted PETA protests outside your house, your kitchen is on fire and you are sued for copyright infringement by 20th Century Fox Television and Gracie Films.

I wish I had one of those nice "impossible" vegan burgers...

abloogy woogy woo
Ozbourne Mulder, it's me. from if it fits, I sits Relationship Status: Crazy Cat Lady
Mulder, it's me.
Jun 9th 2019 at 1:03:53 PM

Oh, it's really nice and delicious... but full of drugs to which you're now addicted, so you know, good luck with that.

I wish for a glass of red wine.

Stupid doomed timeline...
johannes4123 Not a pyromaniac until proven otherwise from The southern parts of Norway Relationship Status: In denial
Not a pyromaniac until proven otherwise
Jun 9th 2019 at 1:24:28 PM

Granted. You have a glass made out of red wine

I wish videogame fighting styles actually worked

Edited by johannes4123 on Jun 9th 2019 at 5:46:48 PM

I used to be able to prove my complete lack of pyromania, but the proof kinda turned to ash at some point
PinkCelebi Science runs in the family from Diamond City Relationship Status: TV Tropes ruined my love life
Science runs in the family
Jun 9th 2019 at 2:20:10 PM

Granted. Suddenly, a randomassperson kills you with Hadoken.

I wish for next poster to come up with a better wish.

What would even be her stage name? Something related to science?
hanwen1234 Aoi Aoi.
Aoi Aoi.
Jun 10th 2019 at 7:17:34 AM

You'd said better, so...Correcting a bit I had with my last wish. Ha.

I wish I was a part of the main cast of both eras featured in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 and the Golden Country DLC, without being a Sacrificial Lion or Sacrificial Lamb.

Ya heard the man. Sorry, but I ain't got time to beat ya to death at leisure.
MightyG The underwater man. from Underwater Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
The underwater man.
Jun 12th 2019 at 4:42:09 AM

Granted. You become The Scrappy.

I wish it was November already!

Hide your longboats!
Afterwards back from the dead from Stairway to the Sky Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
back from the dead
Jun 12th 2019 at 4:45:40 AM

Granted. It is November 3047. The earth has long been destroyed by climate change and nuclear war, and you are the last survivor of a lonely, desolate apocalypse.

I wish to be hired for a job, any job.

Edited by Afterwards on Jun 12th 2019 at 4:46:05 AM

the cake is an alternative fact
hanwen1234 Aoi Aoi.
Aoi Aoi.
Jun 12th 2019 at 6:37:54 AM

Granted. It's a shitty job in the ass-end of nowhere that pays really bad...and you're being forced to do it by the incredibly petty leader of The Syndicate, who's really pissed about the fact that you beat him in a game of Call of Duty.

I wish I was a part of the main cast of both eras featured in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 and the Golden Country DLC, without being a Sacrificial Lion, Sacrificial Lamb, or The Scrappy.

Edited by hanwen1234 on Jun 12th 2019 at 9:39:18 PM

Ya heard the man. Sorry, but I ain't got time to beat ya to death at leisure.
TairaMai rollin' on dubs from El Paso Tx Relationship Status: What is this thing you call love?
rollin' on dubs
Jun 13th 2019 at 11:39:17 PM

[up] Granted you are the worldwide Tingle of the franchise - only the population of Fiji likes your character.

I wish I could go on an away mission with Capt. Picard...

Edited by TairaMai on Jun 14th 2019 at 1:45:02 AM

abloogy woogy woo
hanwen1234 Aoi Aoi.
Aoi Aoi.
Jun 14th 2019 at 2:10:46 AM

[up] That's still being a Scrappy.

Granted. You end up a Redshirt...see how that usually goes for 'em.

I wish I was immortal and ageless.

Ya heard the man. Sorry, but I ain't got time to beat ya to death at leisure.
YourBloodyValentine from Italy
Jun 14th 2019 at 8:20:15 AM

Granted. You are immortal

I wish the world would stop trying to re-enact the worst pages of our recent history.

johannes4123 Not a pyromaniac until proven otherwise from The southern parts of Norway Relationship Status: In denial
Not a pyromaniac until proven otherwise
Jun 14th 2019 at 8:31:22 AM

Granted. We succeed without even trying

I wish we had access to FTL Travel

I used to be able to prove my complete lack of pyromania, but the proof kinda turned to ash at some point
KJsixteen Synth Dragon Knight from The Japanese Panopticon/Kingdom of Heiland Relationship Status: Who needs love when you have waffles?
Synth Dragon Knight
Jun 14th 2019 at 8:35:36 AM

Granted. Now you will meet Eldritch Abominations in Hyper Space, and they're not friendly this time.

I wish the anime adaptation for JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Steel Ball Run is out.

[down]OOF! You just got ninja'd.

Edited by KJsixteen on Jun 14th 2019 at 8:37:01 AM

Dobby relished his groinsaw's roar as he withdrew the flesh-choked blade from the astronaut's ruined skull!
CenturyEye Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign? from I don't know where the Yith sent me this time... Relationship Status: Having tea with Cthulhu
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
Jun 14th 2019 at 8:35:54 AM

[up][up]Granted. We have access to FTL Travel. Its called the Warp. And this is the prequel to 40k....

[up]Its out! And bowlderized to hell and back. The executives also thought Viewers Are Morons and cut the scenes into a completely different story.

I wish I could've seen my future (well, my present now) as a grade schooler.

Edited by CenturyEye on Jun 14th 2019 at 11:37:15 AM

Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our lives
The_Dag Protect the Cinnamon Bun from bad to worse Relationship Status: LET'S HAVE A ZILLION BABIES
Protect the Cinnamon Bun
Jun 14th 2019 at 11:31:43 AM

Granted, you Go Mad from the Revelation of seeing your future.

I wish for 400000 dollars.

Mankind is unlovable. No more kindness!
Jun 14th 2019 at 11:38:26 AM

Here you go! it's all drug money and the police are now hunting you down.

i wish i could actually make decent music instead of my current digitally-produced garbage

atimnie The Video Guy from Chicago Relationship Status: Can't buy me love
The Video Guy
Jun 14th 2019 at 6:00:26 PM

Granted, you are no longer even capable of making garbage music. Unfortunately, that's what selling now, and your excellent music goes unnoticed.

I wish the Beatles had lasted longer, and their music didn't turn to crap over time.

Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers. God's away, god's away, god's away on business... business.
Playing_with_boy Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Jun 14th 2019 at 7:43:33 PM

Granted. Nobody likes them, though.

I wish for some vegan steamed hams! Num, num.

WillyFourEyes The One with the Sword from Nowhere Relationship Status: In denial
The One with the Sword
Jun 15th 2019 at 2:45:03 AM

Granted. You try to eat them, but your stomach is confused by the paradox and barfs them right out.

I wish I could rock the suburbs, just like Michael Jackson/Quiet Riot/Jon Bon Jovi did.

The_Dag Protect the Cinnamon Bun from bad to worse Relationship Status: LET'S HAVE A ZILLION BABIES
Protect the Cinnamon Bun
Jun 15th 2019 at 9:46:49 AM

Granted, you're beaten by the police for excessive noise levels.

I wish it hadn't rained today!

Mankind is unlovable. No more kindness!
YourBloodyValentine from Italy
Jun 15th 2019 at 11:03:34 AM

Granted. It hadn't rained today and it will never rain again. Ever.

I wish I could see how the past was like; not actually travelling in time, only seeing.

Edited by YourBloodyValentine on Jun 15th 2019 at 8:03:45 PM

johannes4123 Not a pyromaniac until proven otherwise from The southern parts of Norway Relationship Status: In denial
Not a pyromaniac until proven otherwise
Jun 15th 2019 at 11:52:44 AM

Granted. You constantly see things from the perspective of the spot you are in, but 50 years back. This is a great opportunity to learn about the past, but you are functionally blind about the present

I wish colonizing Mars was practical

I used to be able to prove my complete lack of pyromania, but the proof kinda turned to ash at some point

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