Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. You also get a Mexican wrestler's mask that you can never take off, and you have to speak in a high pitched squeak in your best pathetic imitation of teen girls.

I wish someone would come and get me out of here.

Granted, you're kidnapped and shipped off to North Korea!

I wish for a real life Furret

Granted, but it's extremely aggressive (and hey, those things are huge!)

I wish KillerVibe (Caitlin/Cisco, on The Flash (2014)), was canon.

Granted, but only after the series is cancelled and in a post-cancellation comic.

I wish I could cut things with my mind whenever I want to

Granted; problem is, you eventually think you want to cut yourself, and you do so.

And by cut, I mean split in half. Vertically.

I wish Max Payne 3 followed the previous games' style and was good despite that.

Granted, but the players still aren't interested in it and they don't buy it, leading the game to become a Franchise Killer.

I wish there'll be an amiibo Magolor.

Granted, but it looks as bad as Fallout 76, has as much bugs as Fallout 76, and is six times as expensive as Fallout 76...

god, really hope this game doesn't work on "bloody mary" principles.

I wish for 20$.

Granted. It's in Monopoly money.

I wish I was slightly shorter, slightly thinner, and slightly prettier than I am now.

Granted, but the Magolor amiibo only works on Kirby and the Rainbow Curse, and all it does is let you play as Clay Magolor, who has the exact same abilities as Clay Ball Kirby.

Granted. You're the prettiest zombie there is! Better keep your head away from shotguns, though...

I wish I had the power...to move you.

Granted, but you moved me so hard that I end up in space and die.

I wish to be as good as Ken Block in stunt driving.

Granted, but while getting to your first match, you get into a fatal car accident.

I wish for non-poisoned water in a 48ml glass.

Granted. The glass is lead, so you die anyway.

I wish more progressive democrats were actually progressive.

Granted. They stop getting elected, leading to radical conservative control of the United States. Welcome to Gilead, folks!

I wish that for-profit health insurance didn't exist as an industry.

Granted. As a result, the government now abolishes all healthcare to avoid the possibility of implementing universal healthcare, because dat's communizum!

I wish I never broke my toe back when I was 16.

Granted, you broke your neck instead. Wait... if you died, then how are you posting this now?

I wish for the best computer in the world.

Granted, it's so good it gets destroyed the second you turn it on, because ti was too good for it's own well-being.

I wish Waluigi, Krystal, Midna, Bandana Waddle Dee, Monster Hunter, Sceptile, and Ashley could became fighters for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Edited by VengefulBale on Jan 4th 2019 at 9:37:11 AM

Granted. Every other fighter is removed in order to make way for them.

I wish that I could go back in time and stop my younger self from doing embarrassing things.

Granted. That doesn't stop your current or future self from doing even more embarrassing things on a daily basis.

I wish I didn't have to keep pissing every hour.

Granted, you have to keep pissing every minute now.

I wish for an Oculus Rift VR headset

Granted. It also gets fused to your face. Forever.

I wish I had a slice of cake right now.

Granted. It was poisoned.

I wish for another Video Game Crash.

Granted. This time, every corner of the world is affected, and it takes ten years for the industry to recover.

I wish I'd learned to drive at a young age so that I could own a Mid Life Crisis Car right now.

Granted. Unfortunately, Reality Ensues as you don't have proper training, and you somehow crash in a geyser.

I wish that Fallout 76 was gone.

Granted. However, as a result it came back with a vengeance and now the real world is Fallout 76. That was a feature, not a bug.

I wish I could actually have some custard with pie right now.

Granted. The custard and the pie have poison in them.

I wish that I could punch myself in the face for making the Food/Pecan Pie/Cake wish.