Warp That Aesop / The Loud House

• Don't pay any attention to the fact that your eight-year-old sister or daughter is already depressed, obsessed with death, and hates life; it's just another cute childhood quirk, nothing different from something like loving puns or playing sports!
• All girly girls are either complete ditzes or Bratty Half-Pints.
• Taking the Heat for any crimes your sibling commit no matter how severe they are, is the kindest and most selfless thing you can do for your siblings so you should cover for them and take the blame even if that leads to huge punishment for you.
• It's okay to let a person who loves making dangerous experiments live in the same room as a 1-year old. Speaking of which, feel free to let your 4-year old make dangerous experiments. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
• Being part of a Dysfunctional Family isn't a bad thing.
• "Heavy Meddle": If a boy bullies you, bully him back. If a girl bullies you, kiss her on the mouth without permission, because she likes you.
• "Making The Case": To win a trophy from your sisters, record a video embarrassing a girl at school.
• "Driving Miss Hazy": Be "altruistic" and teach your sister how to drive if it helps you free yourself from your responsibilities at home.
• "No Guts, No Glori":
  • It's better to allow a blatant tyrant to repress your freedom and violate human rights than to rebel against tyranny and rule the house (or country) democratically. If you impose a democratic way of life, your own people will take advantage of their rights and assume that any attempt to improve your country is tyranny. In other words, Democracy Is Bad.
  • If you're the eldest sibling of the family, it's okay to bully your younger siblings as long as your excuse is preventing chaos within the household.
• "Homespun":
  • It's okay to live in ramshackle, falling apart, potentially dangerous house as long as you have good memories of it.
  • It’s wrong to want better living conditions for yourself.
• "The Old and the Restless": Retirement homes are run by abusive, tyrannical killjoys who want old people to be bored and miserable. Keep your grandparents from moving to one at all costs!
• "Vantastic Voyage": If your family car is breaking down, never convince your father to buy a new car, or he'll go ape and pretend the new car is his wife, while ignoring his real wife, not to mention his children. In fact, it's wrong to even desire a better car in the first place.
• "It's A Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud House!": If your children destroy the house, don't punish them.
• "Brawl In The Family": The best way to end family conflicts is to run away from home.
• "No Such Luck":
  • It's okay to blame others for your failings.
  • If you think a member of the family is a jinx, lock them out of the house! That's TOTALLY okay!
    • If said family member proves they're not a jinx, then it must be because of the mascot costume they're wearing.
  • If all you want is some time for yourself, then you're a soulless monster who deserves to be locked out of the house!
• "Legends": If you really want to win Legends of the Hidden Temple, rush through the Temple Run. You can finish it in one second.^note Except that you can't because it's Beyond the Impossible!
• "Schooled!": If you don't adapt to a new school right out of the gate, it's off to a Canadian school for you!
• "Family Bonding": If someone is acting strange, you're right to be suspicious of them, because they could be evil spies!
• "Blinded by Science": Science Is Bad.
• "Time Trap": Children Are a Waste. Live a married life without having children, and the money you save could take you to Europe!
• "ARGGH! You For Real?": Children are not supposed to grow up. They need to keep believing lies to live healthily.
• "House Of Lies": Lying is much better than telling the truth. Better to keep your father deluded and bankrupt his restaurant.
• "House Flip": Hide a potential pedophile inside your home. The consequences of this will be much less serious than receiving punishment from your parents.

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