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Video Game / Wesleyan Tetris

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The Tetris equivalent of Platform Hell.

Blocks will appear, disappear, and slide around at random. Your moves will be punctuated by rimshots, raspberries, and ridicule. ("Oh my God, that's the best move I've ever seen!") Need an "I" piece? Here, have a donut piece. And no matter how many times the "Next Shape" window lies to you, it's accurate enough that you'll have to keep watching it like a gullible hawk.

Surprisingly, this is not only playable but fun. The trick is that clearing a certain number of rows opens up a new level with a (mostly) clean slate. The pressure to slam home as many pieces as you can before the playfield shifts—and maybe even cut off the announcer mid-taunt—gives the old Falling Blocks routine a different edge.

Randall Cook never found a publisher for his game, but a polished beta that leaked became a cult hit in the Apple Macintosh community. It's still around today, and runs on today's operating systems under Mini vMac Emulation.


This game provides examples of:

  • Advancing Wall of Doom: On some levels, the floor rises.
  • Difficulty by Acceleration: Maybe not as prominent as regular Tetris considering all the other gimmicks, but it's there.
  • Game-Over Man: The voice of Pvt. Hudson himself tolls your defeat.
  • Invisible Block: Present in two of the levels.
  • Just One More Level!: "Are you addicted yet?"
  • Mocking Sing-Song: "Nya-nyah nya-nyah nyah nyah!"
  • Precision F-Strike: If you answer the credit screen with "I don't really care," the author retorts "Well fuck you, then!"
  • Scoring Points: The game does keep accurate score, but likes to briefly add or subtract an astronomical number just to see if it can distract you.
  • Shout-Out: Pressing Tab to pause the game causes the Terminator to say "I'll be back."
  • Take That, Audience!: Most of the announcer's commentary falls under these. ("Why did you do that?" "Nice going, bozo." "Think you need lessons?" "I hope your friends are watching!")
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  • Toilet Humor: The author himself describes it as "The one with all the burps and farts."