And you may ask yourself, "Where is that large automobile?"
And you may tell yourself, "This is not my beautiful house!"
And you may tell yourself, "This is not my beautiful wife!"
Something that virtually everyone wants at some point in their lives is to settle down in some place for peace and quiet. To many people in the modern age, the most common goal often looks like a combination of getting a stable, well-paying job, moving into a beautiful house in a nice, peaceful neighborhood in the suburban area, finding love, and starting a family. In a lot of works, especially following the end of World War II and the modern codification of The American Dream, this is often seen as shorthand for prosperity, where issues are quaint, life is good, and is the closest one can get to living Happily Ever After.
But what if it wasn't? What if that supportive day job isn't all it's cracked up to be, and is actually quite disappointing, if not bleak and depressing? What if the marriage is a loveless one, and starting a family is far from emotionally gratifying and presents its own set of issues? What if things are technically A-OK in your neighborhood, but there's looming discontent about the world around you from societal pressures, to political unrest, to existential angst that becomes impossible to ignore? You technically have it all, so why are you still unhappy inside?
In short, if a character is Succumbing to Suburbia, they've realized that their vision of an idealistic (upper-)middle-class life isn't nearly as rewarding as it should be, facing its own string of disappointment and ennui, or at worst, an existential dead-end. Often written as a more cynical response to the American Dream, this stance questions the state of modern first-world society, proposing that the promises of prosperity and being able to work hard to carve out the most happiness in life are deeply flawed, if not an outright lie, either the failings of bad actors and exploitative opportunists or just fundamental problems within the society itself. In some cases, the "Dream" is technically attainable, but requiring intense sacrifice that will ultimately still cost you your happiness, making that beautiful house, job, and-or spouse feel much less gratifying and leaving you questioning "Was It Really Worth It?"
While this in some ways can be seen as a form of First-World Problems, the core point that is to be conveyed is that even with relative privilege and stability in one life, the ideals of what defines "happiness" are themselves a disappointment that can still really mess someone up, an emotional and existential trauma which — while technically much different someone not being able to afford food or shelter — can still be just as harmful and debilitating.
Not to be confused with Stepford Suburbia or Suburban Gothic, which plays modern suburbia for horror, usually turning the aesthetic of its security and uniformity into a mask for something far more sinister, which this trope doesn't necessarily need to cover. See also Victory Is Boring and Lonely at the Top.
No Real Life Examples, Please!
Examples:
- The Incredibles: The plot follows the outlawing of superheroics, with Bob/Mr. Incredible and Helen/Elastigirl being forced to retire and live normal lives in a 1960's-ish suburbia. While Helen is mostly content with this and the two raise three kids together (all of them having superpowers, but otherwise dealing mostly with usual stuff that comes from going to school and growing up), Bob slipped into a depression from being forced to work a Soul-Crushing Desk Job that actively discourages him from helping people, leading him to doing reckless acts of vigilante justice in private just for the chance at making at recapturing the rush of being a hero.
- Cheekface: "Life in a Bag" is a song about someone abandoning their artistic roots along with their friends in exchange for settling down and getting a stable job, but still feeling discontent and having trouble parsing why. The picture the lyrics paint suggests that they made a massive sacrifice of their personal integrity and sold out, and subsequently regret it as all they have to show for it is becoming a slave to the status quo.Life in a bag, living my life in a bag
Thank you for putting me in this bag!
American chaos, carnage and death, nature really is returning
And we really are the virus, dude! (Dude!) - Talking Heads: "Once in a Lifetime" depicts the narrator at the end of what sounds to be a fulfilling life — having a nice car, a wife, and a house — only to suffer an existential breakdown upon realizing just how unfulfilled he truly feels. The lyrics depict reaching this as having been the end result of a tedious, life-long grind as per the ideal of The American Dream, always searching, but never actually admiring what he ended up getting. Upon realizing he had no actual idea of what he wanted or why he sought out having a beautiful house and beautiful wife, he can only belt out "My God, What Have I Done?"
- Radiohead: The band frequently discusses the malaise and alienation coming from the modern age, much of which comes from the lie of living a "stable" status quo that is in truth defined by rampant consumerism, political unease, environmental collapse, and accepting decay as a fact of life. Songs like "Fake Plastic Trees" and "No Surprises" paint similar pictures of just how bleak living in the modern age can be with those truths, both featuring a coda of eventually submitting to the fakeness and depression of it all, either as a desperate grasp to cling to any potential happiness, or just out of resignation and exhaustion just to avoid suffering further.
