Quotes / Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated

Beware the Beast from Below

"You see this badge? Know why it's here?"
"It came with the shirt?"

— Sheriff Bronson Stone and Velma Dinkley

"The first documented case of the curse of Crystal Cove is from 1630, when a garrison of Spanish conquistadors mysteriously vanished from the harbor."
"Oh, that is so scary! Where did they go?"
"What part of the word 'mystery' didn't you understand?"

— Velma Dinkley and a tourist

"I just don't want you to make a mistake you'll regret."
"You mean like making a bad trap?"
<Beat>
"No!"

— Mayor Jones and Fred Jones

"We're not saying find new friends, we're-"
"Yes we are. Find new friends."

— Colton and Paula Rogers

"Those are radioactive symbols. Meaning whatever's inside is dangerous. Meaning we need to open it right away. We don't want whatever's in there to mess up our schedule."

— A worker, shortly before being attacked by the Slime Mutant

"It looks like a mystery to me, and I think that's just a little bit more important than school."

— Fred Jones

"From this point forward this is a crime scene and future tourist attraction. Stay out of it."
"I got a 'stay out of it' right here."

— Sheriff Bronson Stone and Velma Dinkley

"Shaggy, start the car!"
"Like, I thought you were going to talk to him!"
"He wasn't in a listening mood!"

— Fred Jones and Shaggy Rogers stealing a cocooned body from a crime scene

"Check it out. If that dog mutates, I'm putting it down. Dead."

— Angel Dynamite upon seeing Scooby Doo eating the cocoon sample

"Why are Scooby Doo and I dressed like girls, when Velma and Daphne are girls?"
"Yeah, my skirt's too tight."
"Because Velma and I refused."

— Shaggy Rogers, Scooby Doo, and Daphne Blake on the former two being Disguised in Drag

The Creeping Creatures

"What is it?"
"Like, um, I think it's a box."

— Scooby Doo and Shaggy Rogers on Fred's package

"Fred, careful! That could be a bomb! <he pulls out a purse> Ooh, strike that. Cute purse!"

— Daphne Blake on the contents of Fred's package

"Oh, I wish I could, but tonight's race night! You know me and horses. Venus is in it's third retrograde which means I'm betting on Sick Little Monkey to show."
"Meddling mushroom caps, Fred! I've already got the recliner in the reclined position. There's no going back from that."
"Oh, sweetie. It's dark out. I can't go out in the dark."

— Angie Dinkley, Mayor Jones, and Nan Blake on why they can't pick up the gang from Gatorsburg

"Rule number one: Boys and girls in separate rooms. No exceptions!"
"Then I guess I'm with you, Daphne."
"I said, NO EXCEPTIONS!"
"But... I'm a girl."
"Oh. Right. Rule number two: stay in your rooms, no matter what you hear. That includes screams, moans, wails, pounding, claws scratching, and anything that sounds like a body being dragged across a hardwood floor."

— Greta Gator explaining the hotel rules, with Velma Dinkley commenting

"You're telling me this gator stuff is fake? I paid a fortune for this tracksuit!"
"Sorry, Sheriff."
"Man, I gotta get out of this suit; this fake gator doesn't breathe. I'm starting to smell a little... funky."

— Sheriff Bronson Stone and Velma Dinkley

The Secret of the Ghost Rig

"You realize you were speeding?"
"Y-yes, I do, Officer."
"Okay. As long as you know."

— A highway patrol officer pulling over a teenager

"Ah, Fred, my boy! Today is a very exciting day for you, because today you learn the family business: politics!"
"Politics? That's adult stuff! You know, kids my age are into traps, and solving mysteries!"
"No they're not, son! You're going to learn all the vital things I do for this community, like create pamphlets and strategize about new places to put parking meters."
"I know a place he can put another parking meter."

— Mayor Jones and Fred Jones, with Velma Dinkley adding some snark

"Darling, think of it like trying a new cut of meat. Why have ground beef when you can have a nice prime rib?"
"But I don't even like meat! I like vegetables. Like Fred."

— Nan Blake and Daphne Blake on trying to date other boys

"I Knew It! Anyone with hair that perfect has to be guilty of something."

— Velma Dinkley

"That's completely absurd. Why would a ghost drive a truck when everyone knows they can fly? Especially an eighteen-wheeler, those require a Class Six license."

— Mayor Jones on the Ghost Trucker

"Pickled porcupines, what's going on here, Fred? I was in my office working late, when suddenly it sounds like some demonic force is tearing apart city hall! <Beat> Tell me it's true!"

— Mayor Jones arriving on the scene of the trapped Ghost Trucker

"I inherited a ladder company. We make the one product in the world that no one ever replaces. Ladders don't wear out like TVs or personal trainers over forty."

— Rung Ladderton on his motive

Revenge of the Man-Crab

"We can't let that thing get away!"
"Sure we can, Fred! All we have to do is stand right here!"

— Fred Jones and Shaggy Rogers

"Hey Daphne? Let me ask you something. If you liked a boy-"
"Who told you?! Was it one of my sisters? Dawn! Ha! She thinks she's so perfect! Well, what no one knows is she has a sixth toe on her-"
"Um, what are you talking about?"
"I... clearly... not what you were talking about."

— Velma Dinkley and Daphne Blake

"There's a book over here. Daphne read a book once. And that chair. Daphne liked to sit in chairs. And that card catalog over there..."

— Fred in despair after Daphne's kidnapping

"You were saved by junk food?"
"Like, what can I say? Junk food and me have a very special relationship."
"Maybe I should ask it for advice."

— Velma Dinkley and Shaggy Rogers

"Wouldn't it have been easier and more legal to sue him?"
"Are you kidding? Lawyers take forever!"

— Daphne Blake and Bud Shelton on the latter's Disproportionate Retribution

The Song of Mystery

"They'll be fine. We'll airdrop in some freezedried camp food. Just because they're spookified doesn't mean they can't reconstitute macaroni!"

— Sheriff Bronson Stone

"Velma, sweetheart, how are you? <shouting> Sheriff, they're back!"
"Mom, please! We just wanted to see what was happening!"
"There's nothing to see. Not unless you're paying."

— Angie Dinkley and Velma Dinkley

"The peoples have long told the tale of Qué Horrífico. A normal man by day, but every sundown he changes into Qué Horrífico. He roams through the villages and plays his song of mystery on a pan flute, turing the childrens into... TERRIBLEGATOS!!!"
"In America, we call it 'getting spookified'."
"That is good enough, thank you. Eventually, he takes them to his spooky town, or cave, or something. There's a lot of debate on that, who can really know?"

— Dr. Luis de Potrillo and Fred Jones

"Watch it, Daphne! Remember, we're married. Don't look so happy."

— Fred Jones in disguise, revealing his stilted knowledge of healthy family life

"Come, two young children, it's bedtime! Grandma's gonna tell you a story!"
"Oh goodie!"
"Quick, get inside."
"Aren't you going to tell us a story?"
"Yes. The end. Now shh!"

— Fred Jones, Shaggy Rogers, Scooby Doo, and Velma Dinkley trying to lure Qué Horrífico

"I went to every kindergarten and elementary school in the city to convince the children to pretend to be spookified. In return, I offered them Utopia!!! When that didn't work, I offered them candy."

— Mary Ann Gleardan explaining her Evil Plan

The Legend of Alice May

"So Alice was using the shower and hanging out in the school basement late at night. Haven't we all?"

— Fred Jones

"Don't you think I'd know if she were a ghost girl?"
"I'd be willing to bet 'no'."

— Fred Jones and Velma Dinkley

"Fred Jones, do you like this girl?"
"Wow, look at the time."
"You're not wearing a watch, Freddie."
"Oh. Well I'd better go find one then!"

— Fred Jones escaping a confrontation with Daphne Blake

"Like, wow! I didn't know this year's prom theme was terror and pandemonium!"

— Shaggy Rogers has a rare Deadpan Snarker moment

"Somebody's mom is trying to kill Fred."
"Yeah, thanks mystery geeks for wrecking our prom!"

— Ethan and Gary

In Fear of the Phantom

"All right, now let me get this straight. These t-shirts are fifty dollars each? This is cotton, right? The kind that comes from cows?"

— Sheriff Bronson Stone Comically Missing the Point

The Grasp of the Gnome

"No admittance. This is a quarantined area. Besides, the movie's already started."
"You're showing them a movie?"
"Yeah, aren't they, like, frozen with gnomey magic?"
"I already saw the movie. Believe me, magically frozen is the perfect viewing state to be in."

— Sheriff Bronson Stone, Scooby Doo, and Shaggy Rogers

"I believe the medical term is 'Baby Legs'."

— Sheriff Bronson Stone mocking Gill Littlefoot

"Boy, I had big plans for him. Thanks for nothing! Again!"
"Anytime, Pop!"

— Mayor Jones and Fred Jones

Battle of the Humungonauts

"So, they didn't show. I don't see why we couldn't just seize the ticket money as evidence!"

— Mayor Jones on the Humungonauts not appearing at the Humungonaut event

Howl of The Fright Hound

"What's going on? I heard what sounded like some sort of hideous, undying machine in here."

— Sheriff Stone arriving after the climax

"I saw how you treated my Jason at school. So, naturally, I did what any mother would do. I built a demonic robot dog to DESTROY you! I framed your little doggy friend to break you up, leaving Jason a clear shot at his true love. But when you showed up and blamed him of all things, I decided to GET RID OF YOU ALL!!!"

— Mrs. Wyatt explaining her Evil Plan

The Secret Serum

"Why didn't you just try maybe wearing a little less makeup? Or a cuter haircut? Or use tape to pull back all your wrinkly sacks of... you know, age gracefully?"

— Daphne Blake

"I didn't what to say anything, but I've been taking night classes. I'm getting my public notary degree!"
"Oh, how exciting!"
"What an opportunity!"
"You know, I may be outrageously gorgeous, but knowledge, knowledge is the key to true beauty. Well, I better get going. I have to figure out what a notary is before tomorrow's final exam!"

— Nan Blake, with Velma Dinkley and Shaggy Rogers

The Shrieking Madness

"H.P.! Are you all right?"
"Harlan, yes. Just an overeager fan who got carried away."
"Fans. Imbeciles fit only to be gnawed by rabid rats."

— Harlan Ellison and H.P. Hatecraft