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Quotes / Ridiculously Human Robots

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"I bet bioandroids wish they didn't have to be that human."
Gene Starwind, Outlaw Star

"You're a robot? I should have known. No human is that humane."

Hisui: So uh, how exactly does a machine get poisoned?
Kunzite: It cannot be helped. I am constructed to be similar to a human being.
Hisui: Well don't brag about it!
Tales of Hearts, Victory Pose (condition: Kunzite gets poisoned)

"Hook me up to the monitor. I'll download you some nice, cheerful porn."
Pintsize, Questionable Content strip #1.

— A robot on fire, The Simpsons

"Besides, she's too stoic to be a robot."
Haven, regarding Jones from Gunnerkrigg Court

But they're perfect creatures. And in that way, they couldn't be less human. There are things machines will never do. They cannot possess faith, they cannot commune with God, they cannot appreciate beauty, they cannot create art. If they ever learn these things, they won't have to destroy us....they'll be us.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, while Cameron is dancing for no apparent reason.

Dr. Crusher: "Just help her realize she's not alone. And... be there to nurture her when she needs love and attention."
Data: "I can give her attention, Doctor. But I am incapable of giving her love."
Dr. Crusher: "Now, why do I find that so hard to believe?"
Star Trek: The Next Generation, episode "The Offspring"

"My robot brain needs beer."
Aaron Stack, Nextwave

"The geth blur the line between organic and synthetic life. It makes sense that they would seek understanding from a higher power."
Tali'Zorah, Mass Effect

"...because apparently, even though it's explained that none of these robots are able to have feelings, they do seem to have a need for self-preservation. And a need to form opinions. And a need to be sarcastic. And a need to have distinct personalities. And a need to adapt. And a need to change. And a need to interact. And a need to survive. And a need to help. And a need to protect. And a need to fight. And a need to lie. And a need to deceit. And a need to want. And a need to desire. And a need to do just about anything a goddamn HUMAN BEING emotionally needs to do! But, just to emphasize again, none of them have any emotional feelings whatsoever! ...yeah."

"Whoever put her together made her a little too realistic... Who wants a weapon that sulks!?"
Junpei, Persona 3: The Answer

What is it about robots, that makes them so robotic? At Weyland Industries, it has long been our goal to create artificial intelligence almost indistinguishable... from mankind itself.
— Viral ad for Prometheus, "Introducing The Next Generation David"

"I was designed like this because you people are more comfortable interacting with your own kind."
David, Prometheus

Now here's the real question. Why are Exo minds human? What's the design imperative? Why does a war machine - yes, absolutely, I am a war machine, built by human hands; and you are a survival machine built by the engine of evolution. Don't interrupt me.
Why does a war machine have emotions? Why should a war machine have awareness? These are not useful traits on the battlefield. Don't flatter yourself. They are not useful. So why should the Exo mind mimic the human architecture so closely?
Grimoire: Ghost Fragment: Exo 1, Destiny

Shame. Did I ever suffer exhaustion? Someone asked the question. Or maybe I asked it of myself. Then it looked at me. This moment was real. I told it what every Exo knows: “What can’t touch you has no strength over you. And there’s no place for fatigue to latch onto me.”
But shame is a different affliction.
I’m a soldier. I was forged by other hands and forced into the role of warrior. According to my scars, I fought and fought. Besides bits and flashes, every battle has been forgotten. But I have this clear, awful sense that others died. In my unit, every soldier was killed except for me. Yet despite a thousand chances to be shredded and scrapped, here I stood, no weapon in my hands, making fists out of habit but with nothing to hit.
I’d fought to save the Earth. That was my sense of things. But our world was collapsing around us, and every soul was doomed. Even cockroaches and microbes would die. And being an expert in the art of losing battles, I saw no ending to this battle but another loss.
And I was ashamed.
Grimoire: Ghost Fragment: Exo 3, Destiny

Early experiments in Exo science managed to encode the human consciousness into a form that could be processed digitally. At the time, we believe that was the big hurdle to overcome in the creation of the Exo. Little did we know that the real challenge would be the phenomenon known as Dissociative Exomind Rejection. Nascent Proto-Exos developed serious symptoms of cognitive disorder that eventually led to death. It turned out the human mind would not reconcile its presence in a new "body". (...) The second preventative measure to DER is to program certain "humanisms" within Exos. As machines, they have not the physical needs to eat or reproduce like real humans. But artificially injecting that drive has been clinically proven to reduce the odds of DER....
Core Terminus, Destiny 2

"We can smile, we can cry, we can bleed, we can fuck."


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