Things don't always work — that's right!
Things don't always work — it's true!
Things don't always work — can't lie!
Things don't always work — make do!
Some bugs are big,
some bugs are small,
some bugs let a semi drive through a wall.
Some textures are dark,
some textures are bright,
some textures show you a mirrory plight.
Some games run fast,
some games run slow,
some games run like a black powder Pinto.
Some games are alpha,
some games are omega,
some games are just an Obvious Beta.
Things don't always work — it's true!
Things don't always work — can't lie!
Things don't always work — make do!
Some bugs are big,
some bugs are small,
some bugs let a semi drive through a wall.
Some textures are dark,
some textures are bright,
some textures show you a mirrory plight.
Some games run fast,
some games run slow,
some games run like a black powder Pinto.
Some games are alpha,
some games are omega,
some games are just an Obvious Beta.
—Unknown
Things get worse under pressure.
— Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
open/close all folders
Magazines
Ride to Hell: Retribution occasionally resembles an actual video game. You can sometimes move around and shoot enemies without a hilarious and game-breaking bug getting in the way of the experience. Despite this infrequent adequacy, the rest of the game features every core flaw imaginable.
— Dan Ryckert, Game Informer (September 2013)
Web Original
Elemental was released with so many bugs it would have made Starship Troopers jealous.
—Nic Vargus, GamesRadar (September 27, 2010 review
)
)Five seconds in, and you already get the impression that the coders were more interested in getting this thing out before the first-quarter deadline than taking advantage of the PCE's power... Everything about the experience here shouts 'I don't feel like debugging this.'
— Kevin Gifford, review of F-1 Pilot
of F-1 PilotBook publishers are not able to release a book with the understanding that despite some of the pages being missing readers will be able to grab them online when they’re eventually available. Shoe manufacturers don’t gradually release 6.1″, 6.2″, and 6.25″ shoes, claiming each one as the solution to people requiring a size 7. No mops fit into only certain buckets and eventually require you to buy a new bucket which will require a new mop in turn.
It's all very simple. It's just the IOS6 team adjusting reality to fit in with their maps app...
— mrbadger on the Egosoft Off-Topic forum
[The Temple of Elemental Evil] came out early as you might recall, which I thought was a boon. You'll note that no-one ever celebrates an early pregnancy, and there's a reason for that - human beings need to "bake" for a set period of time, upon completion of which they can be considered "done." The Temple Of Elemental Evil is not what I would consider "done."
Web Video
"In other words, you can't lose. Why did they bother to release a new version if they didn't even fix the most basic thing? But hey, the truck moves! So, maybe this 'enhancement' pushes the game into the...pre...alpha stage? At best."
"Overall, this game just feels unfinished, and what I really mean is that it's like it was barely started at all!"
—The Angry Video Game Nerd on Bubsy 3D, 2013 Episode Wish List
"It's like Big Rigs: just a piece of land floating in an endless limbo of three-dimensional garbage. Calling this game 'unfinished' would be a compliment. This game is so unfinished, it's almost non-existent."
—The Angry Video Game Nerd on Life Of Black Tiger
"This is like a glitch that, like, occasionally breaks out into a game."
President of Sega: Wow, for a prototype I'm impressed, I'm really impressed.
Developer: Sir, this isn't the prototype, this is the full version.
Developer: Sir, this isn't the prototype, this is the full version.
— Game Grumps on Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)
"It crashed when loading gameplay, it crashed when loading movies, it crashed when I took off, it crashed when I landed, it crashed when I tried to save, and load, and it even crashed when I tried to quit."
CEO: Hey Jimmy, have you finished coding that new videogame?
Jimmy: It's about halfway done, sir! Right now we're looking at a 2018 release date!
CEO: Why don't you just... release it right now?
Jimmy: Sir, the game isn't even finished. Only half of it even works!
CEO: OH, PFFSH, THAT DOESN'T MATTER!
*cue a deluge of bad reviews*
— Early Access Games in a Nutshell, CircleToonsHD
, CircleToonsHD"With all this constant praise and love for Final Fantasy, you're probably wondering, does it even do anything wrong? Well... half the game doesn't work."
—ProJared on the original NES version of Final Fantasy
Oh, you know how it is, it's a tale as old as Videogames themselves, you got a deadline looming for your new consoles' launch, but your only game's not exactly playable. So you panic and work for three weeks straight without sleep so you could get the damn thing done on time. Unfortunately in your sleep-deprived state you accidentally manage to create a glitch that kills players WHEN THEIR AVATARS DIE!!
—Kayaba Akihiko, Sword Art Online Abridged
Real Life
"A delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad."
I have 5 different computers, and on any given random reboot, 1 out of 5 of these won't boot. That's a 20% failure rate. Its been a 20% failure rate for over 6 years now. Exactly how much system testing is needed to push the failure rate to less than 1-out-of-5? Is it really that hard to test software before you ship it? Especially system software related to booting!?
—Linas Vesptas, Open Letter to Debian and Ubuntu Developers
"...we delivered a game that was pre-alpha at best. It needed at least another three months, if not another six to get it to a playable level of quality. Knowing we didn't have much time, we cut a lot of corners, and left out features the fans liked, but would have been too time consuming to implement. It was a half-done game, and it shows."
— Tim Lang, lead designer on Might and Magic IX
