Quotes / Hates the Job, Loves the Limelight

Good evening, my name is Bill Hicks. I've been on the road now doing comedy 12 years, so, uh, bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plow through this shit one more time... I'm kinda tired of traveling, kinda tired of doing comedy, kinda tired of staring out at your blank faces looking back at me, wanting me to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourselves.

—Dark Poet

Photographer: Hugh, could you look less — um —
Hugh Grant: Pained?

—Emma Thompson, Bringing Jane Austen's Novel to Film

The assumption is that there’s a button that, because you’ve sat down, there you’re going to be scrutinized like you’re a kiddy fiddler who’s running for mayor. What I have to do in the future is give myself permission to say, ‘That is more than likely a syphilitic parasite and I need to distance myself from this clown. Otherwise I’m probably gonna put hands on this clown and then there’s a real story!'

—Robert Downey Jr. on promoting Avengers: Age of Ultron

It is like being screamed at by thousands of people. I don’t know what the experience is throughout history, probably some kind of genocide. I can’t think of anything that’s equivalent.

—Jesse Eisenberg on attending Comic Con

I like show, but I don't like the business.

—Gene Wilder on his retirement

I hated myself for my lack of anger. Was there no limit to humiliation that I'd put up with to hold onto a job? No. There was no limit.

—Tom Baker, Who On Earth is Tom Baker?

Making motion pictures—and God knows it's been said before—is probably the most boring art form ever devised. For an actor, anyway. You wait while they hang lights, focus cameras, check sound, tape marks on the floor, and you do the same three lines over and over and over again.

—Alan King, Name Dropping

I never really enjoyed acting in the first place. I started when I was 10 and I’ve been doing it for 50 years...Upstairs Downstairs brought me fame and kudos but it didn’t pay anything. I think I got £230 an episode and each episode took two weeks to shoot.

—Lesley-Anne Down

I love the process of acting, but not the masochism. No matter how successful you get in Hollywood, you cannot rest. Your new movie doesn't open well; they're looking for the next person to replace you; it's always something. You never have true peace.

—Emma Caufield

Here's a man who has spent years going to great lengths to let you know just what an inconvenience it is for Harrison Ford to be in the movie you're watching. Cowboys & Aliens would have been a bad movie regardless, but Ford made matters worse by sleepwalking through his scenes and treating the publicity for the movie like someone was asking him to build a Malaysian prison.

—Drew Magary, "The 25 Least Influential People of 2011"

Cara Delevingne’s quick interview with Good Day Sacramento started off on the wrong side of awkward before she even spit out one word. The host called her “Carla” and Cara looked like she would rather be getting finger banged by a hawk than talk to three hosts from a Sacramento morning show... But Cara handled it all wrong. You’re not supposed to just sit there and emote with your caterpillar brows.◊ You’re supposed to say, “I’m shutting your butt down,” before pulling off your mic and dramatically exiting. That’s how it’s done. If Cara needs some lessons, I’m sure the master Quentin Tarantino will give her some while he gives her a pedicure with his mouth.

—Michael K.◊, "The Sam the Eagle of models"

wish i could rest more tbh but i need to be fawned over all day every day or ill shrivel up and die... and plus hiatuses dont get followers waaagh... life is so hard

—Ame-chan, NEEDY STREAMER OVERLOAD

Bart: I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, Krusty. But, you know, my Mom says God never closes a door without opening a window.

Krusty: No offense, kid, but your Mom's a dingbat. There's no silver lining here. I was a big cheese. A huge cheese! But now look at me. I got to ride the bus like a schnook! I got to live in an apartment like an idiot! I got to wait in line with nobodies to buy groceries from a failure!

Bart: It doesn't matter how you live or what you did wrong. As long as you're on TV, people will respect you.

Krusty: Respect? Bah! What good is respect without the moolah to back it up? Everywhere I go, I see teachers in Ferraris, research scientists drinking champagne. I tried to drink a Coke on the bus and they took away my pass! That's no life for a famous clown.

— The Simpsons, "Bart The Fink"

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