The Meatmen are a Hardcore Punk band from Lansing, Michigan. Formed in 1981 by former elementary school teacher/Touch and Go zine creator Robert Vermeulen (later dubbed Tesco Vee), the band quickly gained an infamous reputation in the underground scene for having a very controversial and puerile sense of humor in their lyrics (while not on the audience baiting level of F.E.A.R., they were definitely up there), however the band folded two years after its creation when Tesco relocated to Washington, D.C. - where he released the solo EP Dutch Hercules before reforming the Meatmen with members from Minor Threat and the Necros. This incarnation of the Meatmen, however, had a more metallic sound to them than the old Meatmen, and this quickly proved a good way to piss off and alienate a good chunk of the old fanbase. The band lasted until the mid-late 1990's, releasing three more metal/punk albums before splitting up.
Roughly ten years later, Tesco's son started inquiring about a reunion so he could see his dad in action, and one "reunion" show later, the Meatmen rose from the ashes for a third time, and as of 2014, the band has released two new albums and still tour to this day.
"We're the Meatmen, and tropes suck!"
- A Date with Rosie Palms: "Orgy of One" is about this, complete with a spoken word interlude describing in detail what he does and why he does it.
- Miniscule Rocking: More obvious in the punk days, less so in the metal days.
- New Sound Album: War of the Superbikes has a more metal sound to it than any of the earlier records. Fans weren't very pleased.
- Refuge in Audacity: The band is pretty notorious for just straight-up not giving a shit about political correctness. Some of their song/EP titles include "I'm Glad I'm Not a Girl", "Crippled Children Suck", "Blow Me Jah", "TSOL Are Sissies", "One Down, Three To Go" (about The Beatles and the death of John Lennon) "Pope on a Rope"...
- Stage Names: Robert Vermeulen took on the name Tesco Vee after seeing a picture of Throbbing Gristle members posing in front of a Tesco store.
- Signature Sound: Sophomoric lyrics delivered with buzzsaw guitars with typically short songs (even after transitioning to a metal band).
- Spoken Word in Music:
- "Tooling for Anus" begins with a conversation between two homosexual friends inviting people via telephone to an "activity night at Korey Clarke's Dude Ranch"
- "Orgy of One" has a brief spoken interlude about halfway through the song.
- Take That!:
- "Blow Me Jah" is often seen as being directed at the Bad Brains after the underground punk scene informally boycotted them following a homophobic incident they'd found themselves in. Tesco claims it was originally written as "Blow Me God", but changed to be "less inflammatory" while simultaneously pissing off Rastafarians; however, in the same interview, he claims that the song "might have been motivated" by the band, so take that as you will.
- "TSOL Are Sissies" is meant to be a light-hearted one towards True Sounds of Liberty; however, apparently TSOL didn't get the joke.
- Toilet Humor: This is what drives a good chunk of the Meatmen's discography; Tesco has admitted to having a fondness for puerile humor even to this day.