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Literature / Phone Home, Persephone!

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Phone Home, Persephone! is Book II in Kate McMullan's Myth-O-Mania series, published in 2002. Hades debunks the myth that he kidnapped his wife, Persephone, and instead recalls the hijinks that ensued after the part-time Goddess of Spring hitched a ride to the Underworld.

This book provides examples of:

  • Adaptational Heroism: Hades undergoes this, due to the book changing Persephone from his captive, to a goddess running away from her overprotective mother, Demeter. Persephone ends up in the Underworld after sneaking aboard Hades' chariot, only for him to send her back to Demeter the next day. When he eventually takes Persephone to marry him, he (under Cupid's influence) at least asks P-Phone's permission first.
  • Altar the Speed: Hades and Persephone have to reschedule and relocate their wedding when her parents reach the Underworld sooner than expected, after bribing Hermes to show them the shortcut.
  • Armor-Piercing Question: After Cupid reveals that he helped Persephone win Hades' love by shooting him with an arrow, Hades becomes pressured into deciding whether or not he truly loves Persephone, especially since the magic of that arrow wore off three days after Cupid fired it.
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  • Classified Information: Even when under interrogation, Cupid refuses to reveal his formula for love.
  • Everybody Hates Hades: Zeus fabricates the tale of Hades kidnapping Persephone, as a ploy to make Demeter choose Hermes over Hades for P-Phone's husband. However, Persephone convinces Demeter not to fall for it.
  • Food as Bribe: In the first chapter, Persephone offers Hades a pickle in exchange for a visit to the Underworld.
  • Fourth-Date Marriage: Hades proposes to Persephone after only dating her twice, at most — Persephone pays Cupid to shoot him when she brings him to a picnic.
  • Gold Digger: Uncle Shiner suspects Persephone of courting Hades mainly to become Queen of the Underworld, until she assures everyone, under an oath of honesty, that she just wants to marry Hades for love.
  • Hidden Depths:
    • Demeter, the goddess of agriculture, also seems adept at technology when she invents the cell phone — initially to keep tabs on Persephone, though the other gods also buy some phones to communicate in the next few books.
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    • King di Minos, the Judge of the Underworld, also moonlights as a Supreme Chef.
  • Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: Each chapter title has a pun related to telephones.
  • Little Stowaway: Persephone first visits the Underworld by sneaking onto Hades' chariot, after he refuses to bring her there himself.
  • Love Epiphany: One day after Hades overhears Persephone harbor a crush on him, he also declares genuine love for her, due to realizing that even though Cupid's magic has worn off of him, he still doesn't want to lose her to Hermes.
  • Meaningful Name: Persephone means "picky eater", according to Demeter.
  • My Beloved Smother: Demeter constantly dotes on Persephone before the latter becomes Queen of the Underworld (separating them for at least three months each year).
  • On the Next: In the epilogue, Hades informs the Furies that Medusa didn't really lose her head to Perseus.
  • Picky Eater: Persephone. Zeus even states that this is the meaning of her name! Indeed, Persephone is less than willing to eat Underworld food.
  • Power is Sexy: Persephone recalls Hades looking "so strong, so godly, so... in charge" during their first meeting.
  • Ship Tease: At Hades' and Persephone's wedding reception, Poseidon dances the night away with Medusa.
  • Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace: Uncle Shiner and Rhea interrupt Hades and Persephone's first attempt to marry.
  • Supreme Chef: King di Minos runs a successful pizzeria in the Underworld, and also caters Hades' and Persephone's wedding. When picky Persephone samples the appetizers, not even she can resist triple-dipping an asphodel chip into the pomegranate dip (this book's equivalent of the traditional myth's pomegranate seeds).