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NOTE: Please think over if your question "can be answered by Rule of Funny?" If yes, consider whether posting it is a good idea. Keep in mind that this page is for actual questions and NOT violent, senseless ranting. Schneiderverse shows rely on Comedic Sociopathy and sadomasochistic tendencies, along with heapings of Bellisario's Maxim. Much like Malcolm in the Middle, it's loaded with sociopaths with the family of the titular duo as the lead.


  • One big question about Megan is Where does she get all those wonderful toys? Think about it, She's supposed to be a kid somewhere around the ages to be in elementary/junior high school, and she somehow manages to somehow afford government issued spy equipment only used to pester her brothers.
    • Maybe her parents got them for her, all she has to say is that it's for a school project. Hey, these doofuses are so dumb that they don't know that she's evil, so that adds fuel to my WMG.
  • In the episode where Josh plays the Theater Thug, he's repeatedly assaulted by stupid people and arrested. While the public's stupidity is acceptable, he's repeatedly hauled off by the same cops. He wasn't the thug the first two times so why would he be this time?
    • The Theater Thug and Josh looking almost nothing alike is more perplexing.
      • And the conclusion of the people. Josh and Drake just beat the holy crap out of the Thug, the cops come charging in, the place is a horrific mess and they let one of the two guys just walk out the door. Because, some other dude who was there when a public theatre got trashed might not at least be valuable as a witness if not a suspect.
      • And not to mention, Josh was the one wearing a uniform.
      • And let's not forget, the program Josh was on warned people not to approach the Theatre Thug because he was "extremely violent". Didn't stop Josh from being attacked by old women, and tackled by a bunch of EIGHT-YEAR OLDS.

  • In one episode, Drake and Josh have to drive a wedding cake to their aunt's wedding, but Drake gives Craig and Eric Josh's bag, containing his cell phone and the car keys and forcing them to drive his friend's terrible car. (Which of course leads to a My Car Hates Me episode.) At one point Drake suggests to Josh that they call Craig and Eric and get them to bring the bag back and Josh states that they don't have cell phones. But Drake gave them the bag with the keys and JOSH'S CELL PHONE. So why didn't they just call that?
    • They decide to call someone else but then realize that neither of them have cell phones on them themselves because Josh is, as you said, with Craig and Eric, and Drake dropped in his in soup because he "wanted to see if it would float." But it's still interesting that, before they realized that Drake didn't have a phone, it didn't occur to them to use it to call Josh's.
      • It was actually the fact that Drake & Josh didn't think of using the HOME PHONE' to call Josh's cell that bothered me.
      • Even if they called, there would not be reason for them to answer Josh's phone, out of courtesy.
  • There's an episode where Drake is blamed for putting the teacher's (who I forgot the name of) cars in the middle of the classroom, and Josh defends him in school court. In that episode it shows that Megan's site has a "Doing Stuff To Josh While He Sleeps" segment. Why won't they show the videos there to their parents to prove Megan is a demon?
    • She'd probably block it, or something. Because Drake and Josh can never get her back... unfortunately.
    • No matter what she does, she will never get in trouble.
    • To be a little more realistic, her parents might just blow it off as her simply being a kid and having fun.
      • "What's that? Your sister tried to murder you in your sleep? You have video evidence? Oh, quit your whining, She's just playing!"
      • What?
      • They put a cat on his face, then note that he's allergic.
      • We never learn how bad his allergy is, though. It could be mild. Not all allergies are fatal.
      • "What's that? Your sister tried to provoke our non-lethal allergies in your sleep and you have video evidence? Oh, quit your whining! She's just playing!"
  • Here are a couple of problems that I have with the "We're Married" episode, you know, the one where Josh's e-pal from Eudonia comes to call and accidentally gets married Drake. 1. When Drake, Josh, and Yooka are performing the "friendship" ceremony, but soon realize that it's actually a marriage ceremony and Yooka is now married to Drake, Josh was under the sheet with them, so wouldn't Yooka be married to Josh as well? Or was Josh just best man or something? It begs an explanation. 2. Why did Josh have to resort to lying that Drake cooked the so-called "goat's meat" so that his marriage with Yooka would end? 3. It is said that Drake and Yooka can divorce if they both want to, but when Yooka's dad ended the marriage between them, Yooka wanted the divorce, but not Drake. It could be because the country was disgraced, but I feel that wouldn't be acceptable if Drake apologized and they accepted his apology. So is there a loophole or something? And that's what bugs me about "We're Married".
    • 1. Josh was the one that married them, so in that ceremony it was probably required that he be under the blanket 2. Josh had to lie because there wouldn't had been any show if they just said it was a mistake and ended the marriage, plus Drake was going to go along with it just to be rich. 3. Well this one I agree with you because of the fact that they didn't know Drake already wanted out of the marriage, but it could be that Josh specifically found something that if done nullifies the marriage. There are controversies with just divorcing because you want to, but if one of the parties does something like adultery, abuse, etc. then consent is not really important anymore.
  • In the Christmas Special, Megan got a present from Santa. What, exactly, did she do to make Santa forget everything she's done? Hell, even in the special, she did nothing nice.
    • She could go on a murder spree and still not make the smallest blip on Santa's naughty radar.
    • Actually, she did do something nice. She deactivated the boys' ankle bracelets for them. Later on, she reversed it because Drake had lied to her about a promise.
      • Only doing something nice because of a bribe, and later undoing it and saying figure out your problems yourselves, probably doesn't count.
      • Yknow, S*** like that is why I hate the show. Megan. Gets away. With everything. I'm just waiting for the episode "Megan gets torn limb from limb by a pack of rabid wolves."
      • Dude, chill. She's a kid. An annoying, bratty one, but still a kid. She's not a mass murderer.
      • She risked giving a whole crowd full of people kidney failure just to mess with Drake and Josh. If that doesn't go beyond annoying and bratty, I need to buy a new dictionary.
  • How the heck did the Peruvian Puff Peppers get smuggled in? Who's the dude giving them to Megan?
    • Another thing that bugs me about that episode. Drake & Josh win the salsa contest with the peruvian puff pepper but are disqualified when it is revealed that the pepper is banned in the US. However, earlier on, Drake & Josh were seen looking up information about the pepper. Wouldn't the boys have read that the pepper was illegal? I'm just thinking that it's one of the first things that would have popped on any websites about the pepper.
      • And another thing: when it's pointed out at the salsa contest the Peruvian Puff Pepper is illegal in the US, why didn't Drake and Josh speak up and say that they didn't know it was illegal?
    • To answer all of those questions, the peppers were illegal in US "contests". They weren't like drugs or anything, it was like banned cards in playing cards contests like Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering and so on. Drake and Josh probably just read the description of the pepper, they didn't read the whole page about it, just like if you were looking it up on Wikipedia, they give you a short description first, then they divide things, you know what you wanted to know before even reading a quarter of the page. And lastly, just because they didn't know it was against the rules doesn't mean they weren't gonna get disqualified anyway, although if they had rules they could had told people what they were before they entered the contest, especially which ingredients are not allowed. Like they say, ignorance of the law is no excuse for breaking it.
  • Eating a monkey is weird, but how is it a crime?
    • Animal cruelty charges?
    • Actually, as far as this Troper knows, primates are illegal to eat (or at least use as a marketable meat to be bought and sold) because they are close enough to us genetically that we can easily get diseases such as A.I.D.S. and Ebola from consuming their meat. Even if that isn't the case, it is likely that Dr. Faversham does something in particular in the process that is illegal. It could also, more simply be that exotic primates are endangered (which orangutans are or at least are not in proper population condition) and killing one in any circumstance is illegal.
  • Has no one mentioned this yet? Where the hell is Drake's real dad or Josh's real mom?! I don't think we get any mention of either of them. Not one!
    • Word of God is that the question was deliberately left unresolved because it just wasn't important to the series. Now, for the fanon: Josh's fear of hospitals ("Paging Dr. Drake") suggests that he's had bad experiences with them. This, coupled with his quicker acceptance of his new family than the Parker kids implies to some fans that Josh's mother died of some sort of illness. Drake, on the other hand, took a much longer time to get used to having a stepbrother and stepfather. Even at the end of the series, he and Megan still called Walter by his first name rather than "dad." Josh had been calling Audrey "mom" for at least half of the show's run. This, plus his behavior in the episode where D&J thought Walter was having an affair, suggest to some fans that Drake's dad left them.
  • In the episode where Drake and Josh are hiding in the bathroom from Mrs. Hayfer's dog, the dog catcher mentions that he fought it Vietnam. Drake makes some typical airhead remark about it being in New Jersey. Now, Drake may not be the most educated person on Earth, but it's canon fact that he loves music, especially the Beatles - are we really supposed to buy that he has never heard of Vietnam?
    • On top of that, how is a trained animal control officer who HAPPENS TO BE A VIETNAM VET get scared by a mean dog?
      • Rule of Funny?
      • At one point he didn't recognize the word America. He might be horrible at geography in general.
  • In the episode "Blues Brothers", the boys' choir hears Drake play a couple of lines of "I Found a Way" and ask if it's the song his band is going to play in the talent show. Later, they rip-off his song for the show, but how did they know the full song if they only heard a few lines of it?
    • Maybe Drake published the lyrics online.
  • Why don't Drake and Josh ever try and use one of Megan's own devices on her? Other then the fact that He Who Fights Monsters might come into play.
  • So Mrs. Hayfer really doesn't have anyone to watch her dog while she's away? Doesn't she have a daughter? AND a husband?
    • If she went out of town on vacation, it's likely her family went with her.
  • Why is Josh, a certified genius straight A student, in the same classes as too dumb to live Drake? Their school doesn't have different levels of classes?
    • Sadly, this is how it is at some schools due to budget cuts. They may start off with an Advanced, Intermediate, and Basic, but when teachers and programs get dropped, Advanced and Intermediate might get put together, or Basic and Intermediate, or even Advanced and Basic if the school only had those two levels.
  • Is it me or was Drake such a hypocrite in the Great Big Shrimp episode? Over the last 3 years Drake had screwed things up NUMEROUS times for Josh and some had been serious. Even to the point where Josh was completely done with Drake and refused to acknowledge him. So the one time Josh screws things up for Drake by not reading the contract he gets furious and doesn't forgive him until he switched the songs which is exactly what Drake wanted but then as soon as they get in trouble with the law he gets mad at Josh again! Oh, please Drake! Don't you know that YOU also have gotten you and Josh into trouble? If I were Josh this whole situation would have been like payback to me.
  • In I Love Sushi, Drake and Josh mention that their parents were coming up on their five year anniversary. But I also remember in season 1, Drake & Josh were 15 years old. So they'd be...20? But they're both in high school for the whole series?
    • I always figured that they were just lying to the contest people. I don't know why, but a five-year anniversary sounds better than a three-year one.
  • Was Megan always an evil genius or does she have some Freudian Excuse for her actions?
  • I have a question. In the spring break party episode, when Audrey and Walter see the party on TV and call home, and Drake blows the air horn to shut the kids up, which apparently the parents hear on the TV, Drake then shouts at them to be quiet for 60 seconds before Josh picks up the phone. Wouldn't the parents have heard Drake's voice on the TV as well, increasing their suspicions?
    • It's been a while since I've seen the episode, but didn't they turn away from the TV when they dialed?
  • In the episode Josh is Done, on the day of an important chemistry exam Drake takes the car and leaves Josh behind. Josh ends up having to run to school but ends late for class unable to take the exam. Why didn't Josh call Drake's cell phone to tell him to come back? It wouldn't have taken that long since Drake had left seconds before Josh came into the kitchen.


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