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What An Idiot / Drake & Josh

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Most works by Dan Schneider don't usually follow logic, and Drake & Josh is no exception. There are several situations that could easily be avoided if they just used their common sense.

  • "Pilot": Due to Drake blackmailing Josh about Josh secretly being their school's advice columnist and a wacky misunderstanding, Josh gets threatened by the local bully Buck to a showdown; Drake was dating the bully's girl Tiffany, but when Buck stormed to their house he mistook Josh as the one going on the date. Josh tries to take rapid-fire martial arts lessons in time for the showdown but gets knocked down after one punch. Drake gets a Jerkass Realization and feels awful about this, since he used Josh's knowledge about a girl he liked and got Josh in trouble.
    You'd Expect: Drake would be proactive in confessing to Buck that he was dating Tiffany to break the news gently and own up to his actions. And that he would give Josh some time to heal from his concussion after blackmailing him.
    Instead: He tosses away Josh's alter ego dress and wig as Miss Nancy, to prove to Josh that he doesn't need the wig and dress. As in, he goes through Josh's things and tosses away his personal property.
    Predictably: Josh threatens to use all the martial arts skills he used until Drake explains. Tiffany also blabs in The Stinger that she was dating Drake, which leads to Drake getting a beatdown in turn rather than confess on his terms.
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  • "My Dinner With Bobo": Dr. Favisham has locked the boys in his closet to keep them from saving Bobo. He asks to see their cellphones to prove that it has Bluetooth.
    You'd expect: That Josh would see through this, keep his phone away and try to get him and Drake out of there while Favisham was distracted.
    Instead: When Favisham opens the door, he holds his phone out, and Favisham takes it then proceeds to lock the door again. Seriously, you can immediately tell that things are going to go bad right when he opens the door. Drake even lampshades this by saying, "Yeah, nice going, BLUETOOTH!"
  • "Alien Invasion": The boys had enough of Megan's pranks on them that they decided to get even with her by making her believe that there are aliens.
    You'd expect: One of them should keep a close eye on her just in case if she tries to make any backups on this.
    Instead: They just prank her with all they got. Megan gets back at them by hiring someone to dress up as an alien.
  • "Peruvian Puff Pepper": The titular duo and Megan are taking part in a Salsa contest, it soon turns out that Megan is apparently using a Peruvian Puff Pepper for the contest.
    You'd expect: In the case that Megan might be using it for a bigger plan, and especially after the part where they find out the Peruvian Puff Pepper is only available in "South Amarika", That Drake and Josh would throw it away or sell it to somebody else taking part in the contest.
    Instead: They decide to use it in their Salsa, and when it's revealed that the Peruvian Puff Pepper causes kidney failure and/or chapped lips, they are disqualified.
    Thus: Megan wins once more. Of course, this was her plan the whole time.
    • Also from the same episode: Drake and Josh finally have proof that Megan has been either hoarding or stealing money from her parents to make her room extravagant with hidden computers and terminals and flat screens.
      You'd Expect: Them to take a picture or three of the room so they have proof.
      Instead: They tell their parents immediately and Megan switches the room to make them look like liars ruining her room.
  • "Drake & Josh Go Hollywood": Drake and Josh are kidnapped and held in a private room. Josh pulls out his phone.
    You'd Expect: For Josh to keep quiet, wait, and then use his phone to call the police to save himself and Drake.
    Instead: He doesn't hide his phone, and one of the bad guys walk into the room that Drake and Josh are in, takes his phone, and walks out. Wait to go there, Josh.
    • Earlier in the same movie, Josh accidentally switches his G-O (basically an MP3 or I-Pod) on the plane with the one owned by the bad guys. The bad guys are able to track him down at the hotel.
      You'd Expect: The bad guys to calmly approach Drake and Josh and play it cool, just tell them there was a mix-up and switch back. After all, Drake and Josh don't know their plan yet, and maybe they can make up a lie about the strange money contents.
      Instead: They immediately start acting aggressive toward the boys and threateningly demand the G-O back. This makes Josh even more suspicious that the guys are up to something illegal.
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  • "Helen's Surgery": In a No Fourth Wall moment, Drake can't tell a story so he called in Josh, who refuses to tell him his story because he might steal it. Therefore, he tells him that he need an idea so the latter ended up telling his story. Then, the former puts down the phone, obviously he's going to steal his story.
    You'd Expect: That Drake should turn off his phone after the call. Even if he attempts to use Josh's story, it can't be traced back to him.
    Instead: He ended up leaving his phone on while Josh can hear what he is planning. Drake ended up being tackled by Josh as a result.
  • "Two Idiots and a Baby": Drake and Josh have to look after Josh's Dad's Boss' infant son. At one point, they, along with Megan, must change his diaper. They are about to put a clean diaper on him, when he pees all over their faces.
    You'd Expect: They would find some paper towels and use them to wipe their faces with.
    Instead: They wipe their faces with the baby's diapers.
    As A Result: They have no clean diapers to put on the baby. They eventually resort to using the kitchen curtains as a diaper. It's also implied that the baby used them at the end of the episode when Audrey asks Drake and Josh why her kitchen curtains smell like pee.
  • "Smart Girl": Drake is on a game show with a smart girlfriend of his, and Craig and Eric. They are one point away from winning, and Josh is trying to give one last answer to Drake, but there is interference from Mega Burger which is keeping Drake from hearing Josh's response. But at the same time, you can clearly hear the intercom in the room that Drake and the contestants, as well as the game show host, are in.
    You'd expect: That after this happens twice, the host or someone else would get suspicious and ask to see if Drake has anything on him that would be transmitting information to him to see if he's cheating.
    Instead: Drake's team is able to remain in the competition. Drake gives the host a $20 to stall for a time out.
    However: It's a Dan Schneider show, and it's expected that adults are not meant to be smart, but still...
  • "I Love Sushi": Drake and Josh find two people at the movie theater who are supposedly producers from a reality TV series called Pump My Room holding a contest for a room makeover with suspiciously easy rules which include shooting a video showing the producers the room you want redone and why you feel you deserve it. The boys decide to get the makeover for their parents' fifth anniversary to compensate for their half-assed gifts in the past and they end up winning. The producers then tell them to make sure their whole family is out of the house between 11 AM and 5 PM, a good six hours, while they redo the room.
    You'd Expect: The boys to know better than to give complete strangers access to their house while nobody is home and to refuse, or better yet, mention it to their parents or the police.
    At Any Rate: You'd think they'd smell something fishy about a reality TV show they've never even heard of and try to look it up online.
    Instead: With no questions or suspicions whatsoever, they just comply with the producers' unusual requests.
    Big Shocker: When they return home after driving all over town, the boys and their parents find not a made over living room but a completely bare one. The police even call the boys idiots after hearing of the situation.
    Earlier: Drake and Josh hear the doorbell ring, and are approached by a boy offering them free nachos.
    You'd Expect: The boys to question why someone would give them nachos they didn't even order.
    Instead: While Josh tries to point out that they didn't order nachos, Drake takes them willingly. The nacho cheese turns out to be glue as a prank by Megan and her accomplice, Tyler. The boys' mouths are glued together, and they're unable to maintain a proper conversation when trying to talk on the phone.
  • "The Demonator": Drake, Josh, and Megan are trying to ride the titular roller coaster and get back home before their parents do so they'll never know they rode it. They were already forced to the back of the line once when Josh had to go to the bathroom. When they get close to the front of the line again, behind them are a mother and her bratty young son, and a guy in a costume of the park's mascot, Milford Mouse. The boy yanks off Milford's tail.
    You'd Expect: Josh to avoid getting involved. That way, the boy would get punished and he, Drake, and Megan would still get to ride the Demonator.
    Instead: Josh takes the tail away from the boy and tells him not to yank it off of Milford.
    The Result: The guy in the Milford costume thinks Josh ripped off his tail and attacks him. Drake tries to break them up, and park security forces them to the back of the line again, while the boy gets off scott-free.
    But Wait! There's More!: When she's asked by park security, Megan lies and denies being related to Drake and Josh.
    Thus: She gets to ride the Demonator without her brothers.
  • Megan isn't immune to these, as evidenced in "Believe Me, Brother" when she sabotages Drake's music video project for school.
    You'd Expect: Megan to leave no incriminating evidence in the video leading to her as the culprit.
    Instead: She films herself with a sign admitting that she ruined the video and puts it in near the end.
  • In the post-finale "Merry Christmas Drake & Josh" after Josh first gets arrested he calls Drake and tells him to withdraw $3,000 from his bank account and call a lawyer. We see that the lawyer has requested Drake pay him in advance on the street corner.
    You'd expect: Drake would think something is suspicious and refuse to pay the lawyer ahead of time.
    Instead: Drake pays the lawyer ahead of time. Asking why he must, the lawyer bolts away with the money.
    To Make Things Worse: The guy's license plate read "FKELWYR" or "Fake Lawyer".
  • The Affair: Walter is in talks with a woman from Good Morning Today, which is said to be a highly respected news anchor, about earning a job as a weatherman. While this could be a huge step up in his career, Walter is reluctant about getting his family's hopes up about the offer.
    You'd Expect: Walter to tell his family the news, but also tell them to not be disappointed if he doesn't land the job, thereby being honest and keeping things from spiraling out of control.
    Or: Him to tell his family that he has a possible surprise for them, so that he can break the news to them easier if it doesn't come to fruition.
    Instead: He not only withholds the information from his family at all times, but makes up Blatant Lies as cover stories.
    The Result: Drake and Josh grow increasingly suspicious about Walter's obviously secretive behavior, eventually coming to the conclusion that their dad is cheating on their mom with the newswoman. This leads to them confronting the woman at a very important dinner for Walter, and shoving various foods in her face as punishment. Disgusted and humiliated, the woman scolds Walter for his family's behavior, and refuses to give him the job, robbing Walter of his opportunity for good.
  • The Treehouse: Drake and Josh screw the last wall to the rest of the treehouse. Problem is, Drake forgot to saw a hole in one of the sides for the door and now they're trapped inside. Soon Megan shows up and they ask her to hand them the saw through the window.
    You'd Expect: That knowing Megan, Josh would tell her that they need it to fix a few things from within the treehouse.
    Instead: Josh immediately tells her that they got stuck inside and need the saw to get out and of course she leaves them trapped inside.
  • "Josh is Done": Drake accidentally causes Josh to miss an important chemistry test because he was impressing a girl by driving her to school, leaving Josh stranded and kicked out of class. This is The Last Straw for Josh; after he tries to charge at Drake in school, he walks away, starts studying for his makeup, and says that he and Drake are done being brothers or friends because Drake can't be trusted. Drake, being Drake, tries to apologize with a toy he stole from the neighbor's kid. Josh calmly walks away without accepting the gift, and the neighbor's kid comes to get it and kick Drake's leg. Megan, in a rare Pet the Dog moment, warns Drake that he really messed up if Josh is this calm when talking about estrangement.
    You'd Expect: After a few days of Josh cutting him out of his life that Drake would make a genuine apology and effort to get back into Josh's good graces.
    Instead: Even when Josh doesn't fill up the car with gas and calls security on him for attempting to watch a movie without buying a ticket, Drake keeps insisting that Josh is just mad at him and will get over it.
    The Result: A few weeks pass. When Josh refuses to be his chemistry partner — and this is after Josh aced his makeup test and doesn't get a docked grade as their teacher warned — Drake has to take a chemical bath in class and suffers a breakdown. Josh finally forgives him when Drake apologizes and suffers a Heel Realization on how Josh is better than he is at handling life. But this could have been avoided if Drake had made a sincere apology in the first place and changed his behavior.
  • "Battle of Panthatar": Drake and Josh are invited to the birthday party of rich teen Thorton Locke, which will be broadcasted on MTV and have the cast of "Galaxy Wars" renacting a scene from the movie. But when Drake puts the moves on a hot chick at The Premiere, who unbeknownst to him is Thornton's girlfriend and Thornton happens to see this, their invitations are revoked. Since Thornton is a huge Beatles fan, Josh is certain that offering Drake's newly acquired Beatles album that's autographed by all four members will make Thornton reconsider for sure. Drake isn't psyched about this, but ultimately decides it's worth it to attend the party. Thornton accepts the gift, but still denies the boys entrance to the party.
    You'd Expect: Drake and Josh to simply tell Thornton that he can't have the album unless he lets them in.
    Instead: The boys knock out two of the actors from the Galaxy Wars (who are knockoffs of the clones from Star Wars and steal their suits to get into the party and try and find the album, only to realize that they have no idea where Thornton put the album and they're expected to take part of the "Galaxy Wars" reenactment soon. Hilarity Ensues.
  • "Helicopter": Drake and Josh are offered a ride in a helicopter, but a chain of events leads to their pilot getting knocked unconscious. Luckily, Drake and Josh are able to get him to come around.
    You'd Expect: Drake and Josh to help the pilot to his seat, and probably tell him to bring them back to land to avoid any other disasters.
    Instead: After the pilot asks what he hit his head on, Josh, rather than simply telling him, grabs the fire extinguisher that was the cause of it and pulls the hose out, accidentally spraying the pilot and sending him tumbling out of the helicopter with the only parachute.
    The Result: Drake and Josh are back to where they were when the pilot was knocked out, forcing them to find a way back to safety on their own, and eventually resulting in their family having to pay the pilot a fortune for his lost helicopter. What's more, if the pilot didn't have the parachute to help him land safely, Josh would have just committed manslaughter.
  • "Megan's First Kiss":
    • Drake and Josh learn that Megan's new boyfriend after Drake bribed him to take back Megan, is cheating on her. While Drake wants to go pound him and tell Megan, Josh tells him they need proof first to avoid Crying Wolf. They find the other girl Monica and tell her about it, including that Megan is on a date with the boy.
      You'd Expect: They would wait until the movie is over before introducing Megan to Monica. So Megan wasted her first kiss on a cheater? She'll have other kisses in life.
      Instead: As the two are about to make out, Josh uses his theater job to turn on the lights and stop the movie.
      Predictably: This results in the whole theater staring daggers at them, with two patrons walking out in a huff, and Megan threatens to drown her brothers. It's not until they produce Monica that she goes Oh, Crap! and believes them.
    • Following this, Megan apologizes to the boys for not believing them. She asks them to take her home.
      You'd Expect: They would do that.
      Instead: They try to beat up the kid for cheating on their little sister.
      The Result: It turns out the boy knows kung fu, and puts Drake and Josh in casts. Though Megan makes sure they are comfortable and says she loves them.


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