- During the last recess of the school year, the Diggers are busy filling up all their holes so they can dig them up again next year. Suddenly, Captain Sticky emerges from the one they just finished.Sticky: Hey, big kids bury me!
Digger Dave: Oops.
- "Bon voyage, TEEEEEEEEE JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- T.J. and every kid, staring on like "WTF?", when Mikey does that.
- Not to mention that he shatters the window next to him; the kindergartners then remark, "...big kid sing good."
- T.J. mimicking Principal Prickly's voice with a voice modulator:"And I want you all to know that I have a fat, saggy butt, which I like to scratch every hour, on the hour."
T.J: (with the Prickly voice) Why, Principal Prickly, sir! What a surprise!
- And just before that, after Prickly (seemingly) instructed the kids to eat the ice cream and ignore Ms. Finster, she says in a hushed tone "This can't be happening."
- And of course, the REAL Principal Prickly walking in on T.J in the act.
- A small but no less funny one from Prickly. "I don't hate you, Phil. I just think you're insane!"
- Benedict's Motive Rant:Benedict: You see, after all those years, no matter how big I got, no matter how successful, I always thought about you. HOW YOU EMBARRASSED ME! HOW YOU HUMILIATED ME! HOW YOU DESTROYED MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MURIEL FINSTER, THE ONLY WOMAN I EVER LOVED!
T.J.: That part still grosses me out, sir.
- Vince getting in line to board the bus to baseball camp, only to see the Ashleys in line, too.Vince: Don't tell me you Ashleys are going to baseball camp!Ashley T.: Eww, as if!Ashley A.: Cheerleading camp is like, across the lake, duh!Vince: I hope it's a big lake.
- The scene where T.J. is upset about not having his friends around during the vacation, when the audience is introduced to Becky, who comes into the room right before going to work.Becky: Bye Mom, bye Dad...bye T-jerk.Mrs. Detweiler: Now Becky, be nice to your brother. He's feeling a little S-A-D right now.T.J.: I can spell, Mom.
- The gang initially think TJ dragged them just to get them out of camp, but just as they are about to leave, they all see a satellite dish emerge from the school roof.T.J.: No, wait! Please! You guys gotta believe me! I'm not making it up! I, I—! Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!
(The others turn around and gasp in shock to see a huge satellite dish emerge from the school roof)
Gus: Whoa! What's happening?!
(The beam shoots at the sky. The gang winces from the brightness of the beam. The beam shorts out, and it lowers back into the school.)
Vince: Okay, that right there? That was messed up.
TJ: Mikey? Mikey, you okay?
- Then when Mikey comes to, the gang having dragged him to TJ's in a wheelbarrow.
Mikey: Where...where am I?
Vince: You're in TJ's backyard, man.
Mikey: How'd you guys get me here? Hey, this is kinda comfy!
Spinelli: Yeah, yeah! Get outta there, ya big lummox! (tosses Mikey out of the wheelbarrow)
- The gang finding out that the villains weren't using a laser on the moon, but a tractor beam.Mikey: You mean they're going to plow the moon's surface? Whatever shall they plant?Spinelli: Not a tractor, you goomba; a tractor beam!
- The kids at the wrestling camp's version of "Kumbaya":Someone's wrestling, my lord, kumbaya/Heads are smashing, my lord, kumbaya/Bones are cracking, my lord, kumbaya...
- And the revelation earlier that Hustler Kid is also going to Wrestler Camp. Not as a wrestler, he's training to be a heel manager. And also because the kids at wrestling camp will pay top dollar for smuggled snacks. If you know anything about pro wrestling, you'll know that the kid has a bright future ahead of him.
- The scene where they are hiding in the vent. TJ's line: "Sssh, the bad guys are talking!" The gang have been successful at keeping their over until...Mikey: (eating a granola bar) Uh-oh.
TJ: What is it, Mikey?
Mikey: I got that feeling, TJ!
Spinelli: Hold in, big guy, hold it in!
Mikey: I can't! (the others cringe at what's about to happen) BURRRRP!'
(Mikey's belch echos through the whole lab, startling all the scientists.)
Fenwick: What was that?
Benedict: Someone. Had better say. "Excuse me."
(The air vent gives way and TJ and his friends fall to the floor)
Benedict: Fenwick, who let children into the school?
Fenwick: Not me, sir.
Benedict: WELL, GET THEM!
- And when Benedict puts his head up at the noise, the expression on his face just reads "What the hell was that?"
- When T.J. witnesses some scientists testing a miniature tractor beam, and immediately runs home to tell his parents.T.J.: Mom! Mom!
(runs smack into the sliding glass door to his house)
Mrs. Detweiler: T.J.! Are you alright?!
T.J.: Mom! There are these evil bad guys at the school, and they've got a laser beam, and—!
Mrs. Detweiler: Oh, T.J.! That bonk on the head must have rattled your little brain!
T.J.: But Mom!
Mrs. Detweiler: (feels T.J.'s forehead) You're feverish! Wait right here! I'll go get the baby thermometer and the petroleum jelly!(beat)
T.J.: Uh... Dad! Dad! (runs off to the garage, where Mr. Detweiler is working on his car)
Mr. Detweiler: What is it, boy?
T.J.: Those evil bad guys at the school have a laser beam, and they're lifting a safe, and—!
Mr. Detweiler: T.J., did you run into the sliding glass door again?
T.J.: No, but... (beat) Well, yeah, but... (beat) GAH! (runs off again)
Mr. Detweiler: Come back! Your mom's gonna wanna take your temperature!
- Spinelli headbutting Ugly Bald Guy in the crotch (both an awesome and funny moment)Spinelli: GET OFF OUR PLANET, ALIEN SCUM!
- Benedict punishing Rosenthal after the laser suddenly shuts down. Considering how the former is voiced by James Woods and the latter by Tony Jay, it gives off the darkly humorous mental image of Hades sentencing Frollo to eternal damnation.Benedict: Dr. Rosenthal? Why did the beam suddenly, oh what's the technical word for it, um...stop?!
Rosenthal: (nervously) Well... as I believe you were told before—
Benedict: "Told before?" [chuckles, then walks menacingly towards Rosenthal] Do you think I care what I was told before?
Rosenthal: P-P-Please, sir! I-I-I'll do better next time.
Benedict: "Next time?" Isn't that cute? Rosenthal, lemme ask ya something. Say you were a teacher—or even better say... the principal of a school, and you had to deal with a delinquent student, a naughty child who didn't know his place, who kept telling you over and over that he'd do better next time... but he never did. What would you do?
Rosenthal: Oh, no! N-Not detention! NOT DETENTION!
Benedict: Take him away!
Rosenthal: No, please! I can fix it! DON'T DO THIS TO ME-E-E-E-E! [is dragged out the room by Bald Guy and a guard]
- Not to mention that when Benedict asks who's next in line all the other scientists take a step back, pointing to Rosenthals assistant.
- Ms. Finster's WTF reaction when she goes to her door thinking it's a pizza guy and instead finds Randall. Not to mention Randall's goofy grin.
- Ms. Finster tries to climb the rope TJ & the gang climbed...only for the rope to snap and she falls right on top of Randall.Randall: (muffled) Ms. Finster? Could you please get off of me?
Ms. Finster: (squelch/"stuck" noise) I'm stuck! (move legs futilely inside basement) Curse these bodacious hips of mine! Randall, run back to my place and get the butter!
- Then as she tries to go through a basement window:
Ms. Finster: What are those kids up to in there?
- As Randall's running home to get the butter, Ms. Finster sees the green laser from Benedict's tractor beam.
Ms. Finster: What the J.P. Morgan is goin' on around here?
- Then when Randall returns with the butter and helps Ms. Finster out, they both see Vince, Gus, Spinelli, Gretchen and Mikey being chased by ninjas, leaving the two of them utterly confused.
- When T.J. is gathering the kids from their camps and it comes to be Gus' turn, they find his superior officer yelling for Gus to not move a muscle. And indeed, not even Gus' expression changes when the rest of the gang picks him up and carries him off as if he's a statue.
- To sneak into Benedict's lab, TJ suggests that he and Prickly disguise themselves as guards:Principal Prickly: You sure this is going to work, Detweiller?
TJ: Come on, Principal Prickly. Don't you watch old spy movies? This trick is pure gold.
(They walk up two guards.)
TJ: (deep voice) Uh, Dr. Benedict wanted to speak to us about a very important matter.
Guard: Hey, you two aren't guards!
TJ: (beat) Run!
- The final battle:
Gretchen: Don't do it, Dr. Benedict!Benedict: "Don't do it?!" After all this planning, you think you can get me to stop just by saying "don't do it"?!Mikey: What if we say "please"?
- Gretchen's last resort of reasoning with Benedict.
- During his explanation of why he's doing what he's doing, Benedict asks what countries have the highest test scores. Gretchen gives the probably correct "Japan", Vince gives the reasonable "Germany"...and Mikey, for only the creators know what reason, volunteers "Tierra Del Fuego". This drives Benedict into a minor breakdown as he screams the names of countries that have near year-round snow.
- Benedict's Ninja henchmen loses to Spinelli and a bunch of kindergarteners!
- Becky and Gretchen spray Silly String in the face of one of the scientists; he falls over and writhes on the ground as if he's been shot. The girls check the info on the back on the cans with some confusion.
- The Bald Guy gets beaten up by Miss Finster.
Funny / Recess: School's Out