The teacher trying to encourage the kids in Midoriya's class to join the carnival as sideshow acts. And confessing the carnies threatened to take his thumbs if he didn't get at least ten of them to join.
He tries to give Midoriya a thumbs-up in episode three, and we find out that the carnies followed through on that threat...
When the Sludge Villain is on the loose:
Cashier: Hey! Someone stop that guy; he just..ATE my cash register?! God! Life is so weird!
Midoriya regains consciousness after All Might saves him from the sludge villain. His internal monologue as he tries to figure out what happened deserves to be quoted in full.
The mental images that illustrate this train of thought, particularly for Scenario Number Three, make it even funnier.
The Sludge Villain's fate at the hands of All Might.
Sludge Villain: I can feel myself in two places at once! IT HURTS MORE THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!
Episode 2
Death Arms' Hanukkah Track, that is all.
All Might, having never heard of The Three Musketeers, assumes that Alexandre Dumas knows something about All For One and goes on an impromptu trip to France to follow up on this "lead". This leads him on a misadventure through a wine tasting tour of France that ends with All Might returning to Japan so drunk that he mistakes Shamu for Gang Orca, accuses her of "talking shit" behind his back and throws her into space.
All Might: (Slurred) Watch closely children, cause in about two seconds you'll believe a man-whale can fly! Aquarist*Yes, that's what they're called: Come on All Might! Just put her back in the tank! All Might: Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, if it means so much to you, CALL ME ISHMAEL, YOU BITCH! (The Midoriya apartment rattles as Shamu flies past the window) Midoriya: I'm gonna give him a call.
Deku's first interaction with Uraraka doesn't go as well as he'd like...
Uraraka: I'm Ochako Uraraka by the way! What's your name? Deku:BEH? Uraraka: Oh, your name is "Baa"? Are you like, a sheep person? A...weird green sheep person? Deku: BEH? Uraraka: Ooookay...well, good luck at the exam...Baa...(under her breath) GOD they let some freaks in here... Deku: BEH!? BEEH!? BEEEEEEEEEEH!!!! Offscreen voice: Hey is that sheep kid okay?
Deku's reaction to seeing Uraraka a second time is to stare at her with a Crush Filter and mentally sing "I Can Be Your Hero" to her...except Iida reveals that he wasn't singing mentally, he was LOUDLY singing in her direction. And somehow she didn't hear a single word of it.
Iida also refers to the song's vocalist as "noted punk-rocker Enrique Iglesias".
And rounding out Deku's interactions with Uraraka, this lovely Mood Whiplash when Deku makes the decision to save her:
Deku: It's that girl from earlier! (Deku's mental image of Uraraka shows her with a Crush Filter and with "Dreamweaver" playing in the background) Uraraka: (in reality) SHIT IN MY ASSHOLE!!!!!
When Deku attacks the Executor robot, there's a quick cut to the other students. One of them - the same one who mistook him for a sheep kid - shouts encouragement.
FUCK 'EM UP, SHEEP KID, YOU WILD BITCH!
The fact that unlike in canon the Executor wasn't a Secret Test of Character and All Might had to blackmail most of the faculty to get Midoriya in.
All Might: You see that? I think we can safely say that incident with your classmate was no fluke. You simply can't help yourself can you? Heroism like that deserves to be recognized. After all, how could a hero course reject someone who is so committed to saving others, no matter the consequences to himself? Well, that's exactly what I asked the school board as they were tossing your application in the trash! Fortunately for you My Boy, thanks to calm logic, respectful discourse and a not insignificant amount of blackmail, I'm proud to say that cooler heads prevailed. Now I'm not naming names, but let's just say the gerbil likes 'em young.
When Recovery Girl heals Deku the bones don't set right, so she has to re-break them to heal them properly...seven times...
Applicant: It's a good thing he's unconscious. Midoriya: I'm not, I just didn't want to be a bother.
All Might calling him "Ezekiel Midoraiya"
Midoriya: Oh my god. ALL MIGHT DOESN'T KNOW MY NAME!?
Episode 3
Iida mistakes Bakugo for a Butch Lesbian and is shocked to learn otherwise.
Iida: You're a man? But your eyes sparkle so...
Bakugo is in such deep denial that Midoriya could possibly have a Quirk that he prefers to think their teacher managed to get UA in on a prank to give Midoriya hope of becoming a hero before pulling the rug out from under him later.
And when the teacher tries to give them a congratulatory thumbs-up, it flies off.
Mina Ashido is such a Yaoi Fangirl that she starts shipping Bakugo and Iida during an argument. She's not at all subtle about it, as she openly starts chanting for the two to kiss before telling Iida to "stick your tongue down his throat" when he hears her.
Abridged Aizawa has the exact same exhausted, deadpan demeanor... because his marriage has fallen apart, he's homeless, and he lives in the rafters of the school. And he's still not impressed with Bakugo.
Aizawa: Are you trying to intimidate me, kid? What're you gonna do, fuck my wife? Sorry to say that ship has sailed! Bakugou: What?! Aizawa:I said throw the ball.
After Bakugo makes his throw (705.2m).
Iida: Extrordinary! And-and you're sure he's a man? Midoriya: Yep, he's a guy alright. Iida: It boggles the mind; next you'll tell me Todoroki has a penis. Todoroki:Uuuuuuhhhhh. Ashido: (off screen) No-one tell him!
Bakugo has a nervous breakdown when Ururaka gets an Infinity distance in the ball throw, as it's proof he's no longer a Normal Fish in a Tiny Pond.
This version of Uraraka is The Fake Cutie, right down to trying to act cutesy by saying "Uwu" out loud, unironically.
Aizawa: (still screaming in Izuku's face) You really couldn't tell that all those late-night pottery classes were a cry for help? No one's making flower pots at 4 AM you fucking idiot! She was fucking the whole town raw, and you just let it happen, because you're a coward. Why couldn't you pay attention to someone other than yourself for five fucking minutes! Midoriya: (crying) You're right! I should've treated her better! Aizawa: You're damn right!
Aizawa then allows Midoriya another throw... so he won't tell the principal about anything Aizawa just said.
And afterward:
Midoriya: (Mentally) He probably thinks you're the worst student in UA history!
After Izuku makes his throw (somehow drawing inspiration from Aizawa's rant), Aizawa hypes up that he barely beat Bakugo's score.
Aizawa: Well, would you look at that. 705.3. See that, kids? That’s a real score. I mean, 705.2 is okay, I suppose, but 705.3? That .1 is what divides the heroes from the sidekicks.
There's also what Izuku says after completing his throw:
Bakugo's reasoning for why Izuku hid he had a quirk. It's a little different from his reasoning in canon:
Bakugo: (internally) What the fuck is this?! Stupid Deku doesn't have a Quirk! I would've known! Why wouldn't he have used it all those times that I whaled on him?! Unless...Unless he WANTED me to do it! That sick son of a bitch! Using me for his own sexual gratification! All these years...I've been his unknowing WHORE!! Bakugo: (charging at Midoriya, externally) I'M NOBODY'S WHORE, DEKU!!!
And after Aizawa stops Bakugo's charge:
Aizawa: Hotheads like you need to know when to submit.
Bakugo: I told you I'm nobody's whore!
Aizawa: Then you're in the wrong line of work, son.
One of the things he helped with was fixing Ashido's parental issues. Terrance insists Mina did that on her own... by admitting her love of breakdancing to her "weird Footloose dad".
And after his dramatic departure:
Aizawa: Yeah, so anyway. The rest of you get to stay, I guess. Congratulations. (cheap confetti with the title song from Footloose)
When Uraraka tries to walk home with the boys:
Uraraka: Hey! Slow your roll, bitches.
Iida: That kind of language is hardly appropriate for a hero, young lady.
Uraraka: Oh, fuck, it's not? Shit. I mean, please slow your roll, bitches?
Iida: Much better.
Uraraka nicknames Bakugo "Triple-B"... which apparently stands for "Bitch Boy Bakugo".
When Iida tries to explain (mainly for the audience's benefit) that "Deku" is a pun on Midoriya's name that only works in Japanese, Uraraka bluntly tells "freak legs" that she spaced out the second he started talking.
Uraraka: Started looking at a really cool bird.
Tokoyami: (As edgily as possible) Caw caw...
After Midoriya decides to take up the nickname Deku (mainly because Uraraka thinks it sounds cute):
Iida: For goodness sake man, have some self-respect! Deku:Why start now?
It becomes clear pretty quickly that Uraraka and Iida may have some... ulterior motives for being Deku's friend.
Midoriya: And now I've got two new friends to help me along the way!
Uraraka and Iida, simultaneously:Reveal your secrets to meeee...
When Mineta starts bouncing himself between two sets of his orbs, he can't stop himself or slow down. By the end of the episode, he's accidentally caused a purple time-bending singularity to form (and show what looks like scenes from the USJ), spreading out from the school.
And in stark contrast to Mineta's canonical Lovable Sex Maniac antics, the abridged version hints that he's The Fundamentalist, telling Shoji that he's "an abomination in the eyes of our Lord" during the training.
