Funny / Hercules: The Animated Series

• Hercules: The Animated Series takes place when Hercules is still a klutzy teenager and hero-in-training. His clumsiness is used for comedic purposes quite often. Usually when Hercules typically screams as he falls or is sent flying in the air.
• In "Hercules and the Big Kiss": "Cassie! There's an armed youth and a flying horse here to see you!"
• Aphrodite has her own theme song. It plays every time she enters and Hades even mocks it! And Cupid later sends Hercules and Hermes on a quest to get it out of his head. It is, as you can imagine, as much of an Ear Worm as expected:
  "Aphrodite, Aphrodite, Aphrodiiiteeeee. The Goddess of Love!"
• The Hercules/Aladdin Crossover, "Hercules and the Arabian Night":
  • Hades' response to Jafar's cackling:
    "What is that, some kind of bronchial thing?"
  • Hades's reaction to Jafar's attempt at a Badass Boast:
    Hades: (honks Jafar's nose, in a mock-impressed voice) Good for you, you big scary booger-head, you! Ooh, boogah-boogah-boogah... (to Pain and Panic, all business again) Get him outta here, will ya, boys?
  • Once Hades properly introduces himself to Jafar. The deceased sorcerer is, less than impressed.
    Jafar: (deadpan) Charmed.
  • Jafar kidnaps Abu by luring him into an alleyway with bananas. And then Pain lures Icarus into an alleyway...also with bananas.
  • Phil attempting to flirt with Jasmine, until she tells him she's married to Aladdin.
• "Hercules and the Return of Typhon":
  • Bob the disembodied voice narrator is informed by the Muses that everyone gets a day off to celebrate Titan Smiting Day, including him. Later during a local festival, we see four celebratory hats floating through the air which apparently belong to Bob, his wife and two kids, who thank him for taking them to the festival, glad that he got the day off from "narrating." Pegasus looks absolutely perplexed at this sight.
  • Zeus arrives to protect Athens:
    Zeus: Hold it right there, Typhon! Put down those innocent Athenians!
    Typhon: Gimme a break, they're lawyers!
    Zeus: Well... put them down anyway. Besides, you know they give you gas.
    • For bonus points, Typhon then just nonchalantly chucks the building he's holding aside after Zeus says this last part.
• "Hercules and the Big Show":
  • Zeus gives Herc a lightning bolt with this comment, in reference to Hades:
    I think it's time my son tried his hand at the family business — smiting the wicked.
  • From earlier:
    Hercules: Would you mind [running some reels]?
    Hermes: That depends; do I have to watch it?
  • And this when Mev Griffen called Hades a nincompoop
    Hades: He thinks he can make a monkey out of me huh?
    Pain: Actually your tenacious I think the word was nincompoop.
    Hades: I know what it was thank you.
• Another from the series, we have this masterful Gilligan Cut from "Tapestry of Fate":
  Icarus: Oh relax! The worst [the Fates] could say is "no"!
  (cuts to Herc and Icarus in the Fates' chamber)
  The Fates: NEVER!!!
  Icarus: (aside to Hercules) Is that worse than a "no"? I can't tell...
  • For the Greek Mythology buffs out there, the name of the concert Herc and Icarus want to go to definitely qualifies: "Orpheus: Never Look Back".
• Any moment between Ares and Athena, who are in a bitter Sibling Rivalry, and frequently torment each other. The rivalry even has a theme song complete with dueling deities... duuueling deitiieees.
• In one episode, Ares commissions a weapon from Hephaestus which he names the Armageddon Bow. He specifically requested a really manly kind of weapon. Towards the end Ares finally learns that not only is the bow sapient, but has the personality of a pacifist, talkative, woman.
  Ares: HEPHAESTUS!
  Hephaestus: *Hearing him all the way down in the forge and laughing to himself* A girl bow. Hehe, I kill myself.
  • Ares realizing that the kid he was about to execute is Hercules, Zeus's son. Cue looking at the sky with Zeus throwing a lightning bolt at him.
• "In Hercules and the Romans," the narrator states that Rome is a bright, intellectual city... but it turns out its citizens and founders are dim-witted.
  • The founders, Romulus and Remus, sent out an ad so their city wouldn't be godless. It goes as well as you expect when the Egyptian gods show up. And then Zeus and some of the Greek gods show up.
  • Icarus begins giving Roman names to the Greek gods... cut to Hades, angered that he's called "Pluto."
    Hades: I wouldn't name my dog Pluto.
  • Even better is the name that Icarus gives to Apollo: Larry.
• Circe's entrance on the beach which makes every man swoon over her. The narrator even gets enchanted and one of the Muses takes notice.

  Narrator: This was none other than Circe, the enchantress. Known for her beauty but feared for her ruthless quest to capture the perfect man. Mysterious, dangerous, cunning, evil... (Circe flashes her staff at the screen) ... gorgeous... lovely... beautiful....

  Thalia: Uh, Bobby? You okay? I never seen you like this, now, of course I've never seen you at all.

  • Adonis and Hercules both try to outdo each other in impressing Circe, and one of the things Hercules touts is that he can flare his nostrils to music.
  • Circe took a liking to Icarus' wacky personality. Unfortunately for them both, she loses interest because he was an "annoying little freak", and curses him before lumping him with other rejects. Said interest lasted only 5 minutes.
• Hercules playing volleyball and hitting the ball with such force that it hits Hades in the underworld. He pops out of the sand to angrily vent and slam the ball back at Hercules.
• Hades proceeding to take over Athens which he dubs "New Hades". He assigns the worst torments to the citizens. What does he assign Cassandra? Cut to a perky Home Economics teacher singing a song about being a housewife and Cassandra being the sole student.
  Cassandra (Horrified): Oh, he's good.
  • When Hades introduces himself as the new principal at Prometheus Academy, the students cheer when he says "there will be no homework", but stop when he adds "because you don't get to go home."
• Hercules traveling around the cold country of Greenland and wondering aloud that if this is Greenland, then they don't want to know what Iceland is like. Cut to a very tropical Iceland with a residence saying that they call it Iceland to keep tourists away.
• Adonis pretending to be happy upon learning his parents weren't killed by the monster that captured them. It doesn't help his case that he was trying to be declared the new King of Thrace upon their capture and assumed death.
• Hades' interactions with Puppy!Cerberus in "Hercules and the Visit From Zeus." Cerberus chews on the furniture and puts out Hades' hair by licking and slobbering on him.
  "Look, me master, you obedient pup! Got it?!"
• "Hercules and the World's First Doctor", after mocking Hercules:
  Hades: (vanishes) Gotta go, too hip, I can't stay.
  • Pain smugly tells Panic he said Hades wouldn't lose his temper over the lack of new arrivals. Hades promptly proves him wrong.
  • After his plans against Hippocrates fail, Hades decides the best way to limit his "damages" is to invent golf, double billing, no more house calls and HMOs.
• In "Hercules and the Yearbook", Meg blows up laughing her head off when she saw Hercules' yearbook picture.
• At the beginning of "Hercules and the King for a Day", while Hercules is trying to get Phil to visit his [Phil's] mother:
  (Phil hides inside of his chimney)
  Hercules: Oh, Phil, come on! (begins trying to pull Phil out of the chimney) Be a half-man about this!
  Phil: (kicks his legs out of Hercules' grip) Half-no!
  Hercules: I won't take half-no for an answer!
• "Hercules and the Complex Electra": Herc attempting to show he can be grim and brooding while at the Pummeled Pomegranate. It makes Cassandra Head Desk.
• "Hercules and the Gorgon":
  • Hades attempts to flirt with Aphrodite, but the sudden appearance of an angry Hephaestus makes him quickly veto the idea.
  • Medusa being forced to go into orientation when she works for Hades. Pain and Panic get in a good shot for anyone who's ever worked for Disneyland.
  Pain: And we're not employees. We're cast members!
  ''Medusa groans and face palms.
• "Hercules and the Phil Factor":
  • Herc mimicking Phil while trying to snap him out of his Heroic BSoD and then telling him not to let Chiron get his goat...figuratively.
  • Hercules gets a lesson about keeping his hands to himself in Hero Depot.
  • The "Spartan Army Knife."
  • The Muses and Bob the narrator playing with the statues.
• Hercules trying to get Aphrodite to bring Galatea to life, while forgetting one crucial detail about the girl. Her personality.
  Aphrodite: "Okay, so 'beautiful' and 'crazy about you'. Good. Digging deep, huh?"
  • It's not hard to imagine that Aphrodite made Galatea as much of a Yandere as possible solely to teach Herc a lesson.
  • Hercules keeps getting Aphrodite to make the statue taller and then a little curvier. After he asks one too many times, Aphrodite snaps "that's curvy enough for you, young man!"
  • All this happened because Hercules heard what Pygmalion (here the school's art teacher) did. When it's all over, Hercules assumes that the guy simply made a better wish, but Pygmalion asserts that he did the same thing as Herc and that his wife is absolutely loony. After pointing out how gorgeous she is and how withered he is, he remarks it's Worth It and lets out a hearty "So long, suckers" before laughing hysterically.
    Aphrodite: All right, not everyone gets the lesson.
• Hercules and Aphrodite have another good one.
  Hercules: My best friend Icarus is in love with my other best friend.
  Aphrodite: Wait, are they both human?
  Hercules: Uh-huh.
  Aphrodite: Just checking. Go on.
• From "Hercules and the Prometheus Affair", we have all the banter between Prometheus and the Caucasian Eagle when the latter is seasoning his liver with onions.
  Prometheus: Hey, what are you holding?
  Eagle: Your liver Prometheus, how long have we been doing this routine?
  Prometheus: Other talon, idiot.
  Eagle: Oh. (smiles sheepishly as he holds up an onion)
  Prometheus: It's an onion! You're having my liver with onions!?
  Eagle: Gimme a break! Liver, liver, liver! Guy needs some ruffage!
  Prometheus: Hey, how do you think I feel!? I'm kind of attached to that liver!
  Eagle: What I wouldn't give for a nice piece of fish. Hold still for Zeus' sake!
  Prometheus: Zeus!? Now you're pushin' all my buttons!
  Eagle: (finishes up) It was good today. Very fresh. (belches) Oh, there's that onion!
  Prometheus: I hope you get indigestion, you glorified vulture!
• "Hercules and the Caledonian Boar":
  • When Herc leaves with Phil for the titular hunt, Cassandra exclaims to Icarus that she sees "filthy men splattered in blood, poking sticks into a rotting carcass!" Icarus (logically) assumes that Cassandra must be having a premonition about Herc's hunting trip. But Cassandra reveals that what she was actually seeing was what was going on in the kitchen of the Speedy Pita—as Cassandra runs off to vomit, Icarus looks towards what Cassandra was seeing and gets a disgusted look on his face.
  • During their ride to Caledonia for the boar, Herc and Phil go by at least two locations of Starbacchus (both of which have drive-thrus), they go past a tree with a "shapely trunk" (Phil initially mistook it for a nymph) and the Aegean Stables (which smell absolutely nasty).
  • While it’s obvious that, as the goddess of the wild, Artemis (who’s voiced by Reba McEntire) would be good with animals, the creatures of the forest (at least those in Caledonia) seem a little...too affectionate towards her (and to Herc, albeit to a lesser extent). To go into greater detail:
    • As Artemis is talking to Herc about how Caledonian Boars are very endangered, some of her animal friends start flying in close to her and she has to shoo them away so she can talk to Herc.
    • The morning after meeting Artemis and promising to protect the boars, Herc starts having second thoughts (particularly when he worries about what Phil will think), but the animals convince him otherwise by acting really cutesy and cuddly towards him.
    • After Phil walks in on Artemis while she’s taking a Waterfall Shower, she confronts him with a bow-and-arrow pointing right at him, but just before she can shoot him, a fish flies out of the river and kisses her right on the lips. She has to pull the fish off of her and she yells, "I’m working here."
    • After turning Phil into a boar, a snake that’s wrapped around Artemis starts getting a little too cuddly (in that he’s strangling her) and she ends up having to teleport herself out of the snake’s grip.
    • After Herc has saved boar!Phil and Artemis shows up, a bunch of animals come out and start cuddling up to her, and a flying squirrel comes out and flies right into Artemis’s face and she has to pull him off.
  • After Artemis has turned Phil into a boar and Chiron, Nestor and Meleager find him (and think he’s just a regular boar), Phil manages to escape—Chiron decides they should split up, telling Nestor to go left and Meleager to go right. Meleager asks Chiron to be more specific about what he means, so he picks Meleager up by his collar and kicks him in the direction that [Chiron] wants him to go.
• "Hercules and the Pool Party" has the gods lose their memories from swimming in the River Lethe, which leads to this hilarious radar-dodging moment with Zeus when they start to recover their memories.
  Zeus: It's all coming back to me. I used to be someone important...someone people look up to! I must be...A SUPERMODEL! Heh. I'm too sexy.
• "Hercules and the Prom" has Orpheus as a teen idol who absolutely everyone loves, even Bob the Narrator, who claims he "found" several glamour shots of him lying around. The Muses don't buy it. Meanwhile, Hades is the only one who doesn't recognize Orpheus, which is doubly funny given the myth that centers around him going to the Underworld.
  • When Hades kidnaps Orpheus for an eternal Underworld concert, Herc has to go save him, while Icarus has an even more life-threatening job: Stalling the crowd of fans until they get back.
• In Hecate's second appearance Hades gives her a "Thanks for the blind obedience" statuette as a reward for "stopping" her monster. Hecate gives it to the heroes for bowling practice.
  • In the same episode, Hecate is all set to have her monster bust down Hades' door...until she realizes he's so weak he can't lift it, and has trouble ripping a piece of paper.
• Icarus tricks Pandora (yes, that Pandora) into letting go of her box by exploiting her curiosity. He does so by making the janitor's closet sound like, yeah, maybe it's just feel of mops and buckets, or maybe it's a haven of untold mystery and forbidden secrets just waiting to be exposed. Pandora can't help herself and bursts into the closet, only to come out stating it was just full of mops and buckets.
• "Hercules and the River Styx" has Hades scam Poseidon to get control of Greece, but first he hears how his brother invented marine mammals, who kept dying until he also invented blowholes.
• In "Hercules and the Long Nightmare," according to Hades, Zeus was at the top of the godly approval ratings except for the time he accidentally dropped a bunch of lightning bolts on Pompeii during sweeps month.
• The plot of "Hercules and the Tiff on Olympus" is a veiled reference to the times Zeus cheated on Hera in the myths, with Hades telling Hera that Zeus never came home after hanging with Bacchus while telling Zeus Hera left the couch for him to sleep on, while telling everyone else that the couple's splitting up and they should divide their duties between them.
  • When cajoling Hera to leave Olympus and show Zeus how he likes it, Hades makes her eggs and toast by pressing them against his fire hair.
• Pain and Panic's first few diseases in "Hercules and the Big Lie" include an annoying rash, a cough that attracts gophers, and bubbles coming out of people's ears.
  • Later, Hades is all set to welcome the newly-dead to the Underworld, complete with "Hello, My Name Is Deceased" name tags, only to find nobody actually showed.

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