Funny / Die Another Day

Even after he got promoted as Q, not many people still get an opportunity to have the last laugh on John Cleese.

• Colonel Moon is introduced pummeling a normal-looking punching bag. The bag is unzipped, and a horribly battered man falls out. Moon says, "Find me a new anger therapist."
• As MI6's doctors tend to Bond's health after recovering him from his imprisonment, this exchange occurs:
  Doctor: Liver's not too good.
  Doctor: It's definitely him, then.
• The sight of Bond in what amounts to pajamas with his chest open and bared, long shaggy hair and beard, walking barefoot into a posh Hong Kong hotel and politely asking for "my usual suite." The clerk naturally is snobby as hell as he asks if Bond has "a credit card...or luggage?" When Mr. Chang comes up, he barks to the guy to give Bond whatever he wants and the man rushes even while not understanding why his boss is giving the Presidential suite to what looks like a homeless lunatic.
  • Also, the idea that somehow, Bond has a line of credit so good that he gets the suite, his personal tailor, a lobster meal with expensive wine and a barber with no problem.
• Bond needs to infiltrate the Cuban clinic where Zao's staying. He goes to the hotel room of a rude guest who's also going to the clinic.
  Rude Guest: What the hell do you want? I don't need a goddamn wheely-chair!
  Bond: No? [Punches him in the head, knocking him on his ass] You do now.
  • Also the fact that the girl in the guest's room doesn't even react to this beyond a nod to Bond.
• Graves' introduction is to parachute down into London over Buckingham Palace, then immediately hand off his gear to Miranda Frost while taking questions from reporters.
• The entire Q briefing scene. John Cleese and Pierce Brosnan really did a great job with each other, and it's genuinely comedic with some fun character interaction.
  • What looks like M to be in a hostage situation and Bond almost takes the Shoot the Hostage option, he shoots the hostage taker through M's shoulder. Then the action slows to a crawl and Q walks right through the "taker".
    Q: Forgive my mentioning it, 007, but a perfect marksman isn't really supposed to shoot his own boss.
    [The "hostage situation" turns out to be a holographic simulator when Q takes off the glasses]
    Bond: Check the replay. You'll find he's dead and she's only got a flesh wound.
    Q: There's always an excuse, isn't there? 00-zero.
  • While Bond and Q walk past the museum of old gadgets, Bond sniffs the bladed shoe and recoils.
    Bond: So this is where they keep the old relics, eh?
    Q: I'll have you know this is where our most cutting edge technology is held.
    Bond: [activates a switchblade contraption] Hm, point taken.
    Q: Must you touch everything?
    Bond: Does this still work? [He activates an old jetpack, which Q then struggles to ground and disable]
    Q: [irritated] Now look-
    Bond: [examining the shoe] So where is all this cutting edge stuff?
    Q: [through gritted teeth] I'm trying to get to it.
  • Bond's genuine astonishment when Q first uncloaks Bond's Aston Martin Vanish. Bond knocks on the roof of the car a couple of times just to make sure it's real.
    Q: Your new transportation. [Q presses a button. A seemingly empty flat car pulls out of the tunnel and up to the platform]
    Bond: [Beat] Maybe you've been down here too long.
    Q: The ultimate in British engineering. [He walks by the invisible Aston, showing a visible distortion that makes it look like he's doing a Silly Walk]
    Bond: You must be joking!
    Q: As I learned from my predecessor, Bond, I never joke about my work. Aston Martin call it the "Vanquish", we call it... The Vanish. [He reveals the "Vanish"]
    Bond: [genuinely surprised]... Oh, very good!
  • Bond's way of "reading" the instruction manual...
    Q: [lists the various gadgets unique to the car, including] ...Target-seeking shotguns, which can shoot down mobile objects. Here, why don't you appoint yourself to the manual for once. You should be able to shoot through that in a couple of hours.
    [Bond examines the manual for a moment, then tosses it in the air. The car's shotguns lock on to the book and blast it into scraps]
    Bond: Just took a few seconds, Q.
    Q: Wish I could make you vanish. [storms off]
• The entire scene of Bond and Graves swordfighting gets so over the top that it's hard not to laugh at some points. They do quite a number on the club doing so, leaving Miranda to answer for the mess.
  • When they part company, we get this from Bond's messenger:
    Messenger: The place needed redecorating anyway. [Both men smirk]
• Frost and Bond pull a Fake-Out Make-Out to get rid of Graves's mooks. It works and they leave, but Bond doesn't tell Frost right away.
  Frost: Are we still being watched?
  Bond: Oh, they left ages ago.
  Frost: Oh, God, you're impossible! Come on, let's get out of here!
  • Later one, she remarks that he admires his restraint, having been there a whole two hours before everything blew up.
• This exchange:
  Zao: Who sent you?
  Jinx: Your mama. And she told me to tell you she's really disappointed in you.
• When Bond uses Graves' ice dragster to outrun the tidal wave, Vlad comments, "Hey, boss. He beat your time." The pissed-off look on Graves' face really sells it.
• Quite a few lines of Gustav Graves' dialogue are rather funny, notably:
  Graves: [to Bond] Oh look! Parachutes for the both of us! [He throws one out of the plane window] Whoops! Not anymore!
  • And:
    Graves: You see, Mr. Bond, you can't kill my dreams. But my dreams can kill you. Time to face destiny.
  • But what makes this even funnier is Bond's response:
    Bond: Time to face gravity!
• Miss Moneypenny being snapped out of Q's virtual training simulator, where she was getting rather up close and personal with a virtual Bond.

  Q: [notices Moneypenny while tinkering] Moneypenny?
  Moneypenny: [she gets up and takes off the glasses] I was, um... just testing it out.
  Q: It's very hard, isn't it?
  Moneypenny: Yes. Very.
  [Q goes back to tinkering, only to pause with a "Wait a minute..." look on his face]

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