- It is important to remember that, when the climactic battle starts, one should not fire wildly at the ceiling. It doesn't like it.
- In the DVD commentary, Kurt Russell cannot stop laughing every time this scene is even referenced.
- Jack's summary of his introduction to the supernatural, particularly how he starts off with a fairly even tone of voice and escalates to screaming at the top of his lungs;What does that mean, huh? "China is here." I don't even know what the hell that means. All I know is this "Lo Pan" character comes out of thin air in the middle of a god-damn alley, while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him, with light coming out of his mouth!
- Jack and Wang try to ambush Thunder, who swats them aside like flies on the first try.Jack: You make one move...
(Thunder immediately knocks Jack away and lifts Wang about five feet in the air)
Jack (recovers and holds a knife to Thunder's throat): Now, let's try that again.
- Which leads to...
- Jack's continuous yell as he's sitting on an out of control wheelchair rolling down a long ramp straight to a pit.
- David Lo Pan controlling a celestial avatar like how one would use a video game controller.
- Lo Pan: [spots Gracie, Margo and Eddie on a security monitor] "Who are these people? Friends of yours, huh? Now this really pisses me off to no end!"
Lo Pan: There have been others, to be sure. There are always others. But you know, Mr. Burton, the difficulties between men and women. How seldom it works out? Yet we all keep trying, like fools.
- "I'll have you both sent off to the hell where people are skinned alive, it's that simple, understand?!"
- Proceded by Jack's Armor-Piercing Question about Lo Pan's failure to find the "right" girl during 2000 years. "Come on, Dave, you must be doing something seriously wrong!"
Lo Pan: Shut up, Mr. Burton! You were not brought about this world to "get it."
- In general, Lo Pan in his old man form is one of the funniest parts of the movie.
- "I can see things no one else can see."
- Which leads to him confronting Lo Pan with lipstick smeared across his mouth.
- Jack on the phone to his insurance company. "Look, I said 'accident!' I don't wanna hear 'act of God'."
- Jack smugly stands by the door to the lobby of the Wing Kong Exchange and, believing that all the tough guys are downstairs, outlines A Simple Plan to escape;Jack: All right, we're almost outta here. From here on, it gets normal; offices, storerooms: a nice false front. I count to three, open the door, and we go. Everybody got that? Ready? Follow the leader. One, two, three. (opens door)
Open Door: (lots of armed mooks stare at him)
Jack: (slams door) We may be trapped.
- Wang's nimble acrobatics juxtaposed with Thunder's statuary-shattering charges back and forth.
- The eager Bring It finger wiggle by a grinning Lo Pan as Jack is gunning his truck through the alleyway right at him.
- Gracie trying to do an 'up to here' gesture, but stopped by the chains on her, and Lo Pan doing it for her mockingly.
- The look everyone gives when Jack throws his knife at Lo Pan, and misses by a mile.
- Although given his string of failures, Jack succeeding on his second try (and the look on Lo Pan's face) is almost funnier.
- Jack punching Rain to no avail.
- A horrible monster pops out of the side of a tunnel to eat a guy, and Egg Shen throws an explosive from his bag to banish it.Egg: It will come out no more!
Jack: What?! Huh? What will come out no more?!
- Also this exchange between them:Jack: That is not water.
Egg: Black blood of the earth.
Jack: What, you mean oil?
Egg: I mean black blood of the earth!
- Shortly after this is Jack's hilariously appropriate reaction to Lo Pan's eye ... spy ... thing.Jack: Oh. My. God! What is that? Don't tell me!
- Also this exchange between them:
- The Three Storms make their debut in a pretty awesome way, but when it comes time for them to go all Improbable Weapon User on us, it also gets ridiculous. Thunder pulls out a couple of funky short swords with bladed knuckle guards, Rain pulls out some pop-out rake things, and, craziest of all, Lightning makes spoons (or something?) rotate on his fingers so fast they become fan blades.
- During the final battle, Jack is caught taking his knife out of his boot by a guard and just kicks the blade out of his boot enough to sink it into the guard's stomach....which leaves him trapped for some time as the dead weight of the guard falls on top of him.
- The rapid fire gag that takes place while Jack is on the phone with an insurance agent.Eddie: Sure, it was a war. And anyone who showed up could join in the hell of being cut to pieces.
Jack: *Double Take* Hell of being what?
Eddie: Chinese have a lot of hells.
Wang's uncle: What the hell is Gracie Law doing here?
- Thunder's death is him inflating himself until he explodes, sending vegetable refuse cascading out the door. It really is.
- As Lo Pan's lair collapses, Wang and Jack find themselves trapped with only a hole almost twenty feet above them as their only means of escape. It all seems hopeless until Egg pokes his head through the hole, prompting a natural question and one of the most spectacular non-answers in all of cinema.Jack: Egg! How'd you get up there?!Egg: Wasn't easy!
- The heroes team crammed in the elevator after drinking Egg's 'huge buzz' medicinal concoction. Everyone is sporting a confident goofy grin and getting a bit too touchy-feely.
Funny / Big Trouble in Little China