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Film / The Baker

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The Baker is a 2007 British comedy crime thriller film about an assassin who retires to a sleepy Welsh village in search of a peaceful life. Written and direct by Gareth Lewis, it stars Damian Lewis as Milo "Shakespeare", the titular baker, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as his former colleague and rival Bjorn who has been sent to track him down, Kate Ashfield as village vet and love-interest Rhiannon, and Michael Gambon as Milo's retirement-averse former boss Leo.

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This film provides examples of:

  • Babies Ever After: One of the mid-credit scenes shows Milo and a very pregnant Rhiannon standing on the doorstep of her cottage.
  • Cold-Blooded Torture: What we can only assume happens to the owners of the other Cod Almighty owners that Bjorn "questions". Though if what happens to Rhys is any indication, this may more "unusual" than "cruel".
  • Contract on the Hitman: What we're led to believe is the reason for Bjorn's pursuit of Milo. Turns out It's Personal.
  • Cruel Mercy: What Bjorn intends to give Milo after he has him at his mercy.
  • Embarrassing First Name: Eggs. His dad wasn't a chicken farmer, he was just a wanker.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Milo, a retired contract killer, is appalled by just how many of the "pleasant" villagers want someone else dead.
  • Green-Eyed Monster: Bjorn is hurt and disappointed after seeing Milo in bed with Rhiannon.
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  • Hilarity Ensues: The villagers quickly realise Milo is an assassin and incorrectly assume his bakery is a front and that ordering a "chocolate cake" will be code for ordering a hit. Milo just thinks everyone loves chocolate cake.
  • Hitman with a Heart: Milo. To a lesser extent, Bjorn - though his heart is broken.
  • Incompatible Orientation: Bjorn is an interesting guy with a lot of.. "fun" instincts but what he wants with Milo just isn't possible.
  • It's Personal: Bjorn to Milo - it turns out he hasn't tracked him down on company orders, but because Milo broke his heart.
  • Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: Bjorn seems to be such a fan of this method that he doesn't even give his victims a chance to answer before the torture commences.
  • Let's Fight Like Gentlemen: Milo to Bjorn when the latter has Rhiannon at knife-point.
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  • Line-of-Sight Name: Challenged for a surname, Milo's eyes fall upon a bust of Shakespeare.
  • Mistaken for Badass: Zig-zagged. Milo really is a professional hitman (albeit retired) but he had nothing to do with the death of Rhys' unpleasant and domineering wife, Martha - it was just a freak accident.
  • Mistaken for Dying: Eggs closes his eyes as he pulls the trigger on his first hit, then looks up to see his "victim" screaming in pain with red stuff all over his chest and is convinced it was a success. Turns out he completely missed but the sound of the shot caused his target to spill his freshly microwaved meal all over himself, causing a painful but definitely not fatal scald.
  • Mistaken for Gay: When Eggs tells Milo that he's going to "do" Bob, Milo assumes it's his first date with another man and tells Eggs how happy he is for him.
  • Murder, Inc.: Bjorn and Leo's employers, and Milo's ex-employers.
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: The quality - and presence - of Kate Ashfield's Welsh accent varies from scene-to-scene and sometimes between sentences. Slips into Not Even Bothering with the Accent at times.
  • Poor Communication Kills: Well, almost. Had Milo not had a Mistaken for Gay moment with Eggs, he might have stopped him trying to take on the hit on Bob. As it is, Eggs' incompetence means Bob gets away with a minor scald.
  • Professional Killer: Milo, Bjorn, Leo, and the "Company" the work for.
  • Reality Ensues: Milo and Bjorn duel with fencing foils. When Bjorn disarms Milo and triumphantly stabs him with his foil, it does about as much damage as once would expect from a thin piece of metal with a deliberately-blunted tip. They both seem surprised by this.
  • Retired Bad Ass: He may have retired while arguably still in his prime, but Milo still counts as this.
  • The Blade Always Lands Pointy End In: Somewhat implausibly, Bjorn's fencing foil lands point-end-first in the ground and sticks there after Milo disarms him.
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