The Squire of Dragonstone
, by EmynIthilien, is an A Song of Ice and Fire fanfic in which Jon Snow goes to Dragonstone as Stannis Baratheon's squire rather than joining the Night Watch.
The first story deals with Jon's squiring by Stannis and his arrival at Dragonstone. The sequel, The Knight of Storm's End, covers Stannis and Renly's attempts to expose Jaime and Cersei's incest and survive the resultant Lannister revolt. A third part, A Dull Affair, covers Robert and Margaery's wedding and Stannis's attempt to convict Littlefinger for the murder of Jon Arryn.
This fanfic has examples of:
- Adaptation Personality Change: While still lively, charming and fierce, Edric is notably more bitter than in canon. This is likely due to no longer seeing Robert in a positive light as before, and being more aware of how he's viewed as.
- Birds of a Feather: As multiple characters note, Jon and Stannis are very similar in personality: reserved, thoughtful, self-controlled almost to the point of asceticism, and with a strong devotion to duty and the truth.
- Break the Haughty:
- Like canon, Jon learns some much needed humiliation regarding how privileged he is compared to most other bastards.
- Stannis intends this for Edric as well so that he can learn some basic level of humility and not rely on his father's reputation as a warrior to boost his ego.
- Chocolate Baby: As in canon, the primary piece of evidence cited in support of the Jaime/Cersei prosecution is the golden hair of Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen Baratheon.
- Cool Sword: As in canon, Jon gets one. Instead of a Valyrian steel sword, it's a regular if finely crafted bastard sword that once belonged to Steffon Baratheon called Clash.
- Ear Ache: Robb loses part if not most of his ear during Robert Baratheon's marriage to Margaery Tyrell. Either that or get his throat slit by an assassination attempt via a proxy by Littlefinger.
- Everyone Has Standards: Oberyn is a noted bisexual who loves the lords and the ladies. But he apparently draws the line at bestiality.
- For Want Of A Nail: The premise being what would happen if Stannis had accompanied Robert's party in Winterfell, instead of just sailing off to Dragonstone.
- Freudian Trio: Robert invokes this among him and his brothers in ruling the Seven Kingdoms: Stannis ruling the kingdoms (superego), Renly holding court (ego), and Robert fighting and commanding (id).
- In Spite of a Nail:
- Brandon is still crippled by Jamie Lannister throwing him over the tower.
- Jon still gets a bastard sword from a mentor.
- Jon still ends up at the Wall fighting the White Walkers, but not as a member of the Night's Watch.
- In Vino Veritas: Stannis contrives to get Jaime so drunk that he proudly and publicly confesses to incest as Cersei looks on in horror.
- Knighting: Jon is knighted shortly after saving Stannis from drowning by travelling to Shipbreaker Bay.
- Like a Son to Me: Over time, Stannis comes to treat Jon almost as a son. Unsurprisingly, this unnerves Selyse Baratheon, especially given that she has been unable to provide Stannis with a male heir.
- Loophole Abuse: Robert points out to Ser Mandon Moore that as a member of the Kingsguard, he protects the king. Even though he was paid off, Mandon Moore points out that even though Cersei had commanded him to protect Joffrey, he should protect the King's family as well.
- Mad Love: Lysa's love for Baelish comes to a heard upon his escape, that she admits she had poisoned Jon Arryn, accusingly states that Catelyn had him and Ned wrapped around her finger, and cries out how she should have killed Stannis for sending him away and trying to take her son away from her.
- "Not So Different" Remark:
- Jon points out that Selyse and Catelyn are quite similar in that they more or less are not going to like him and won't change their opinions about him. It's apparent to the reader that they don't like him for being a son or son-like figure to Ned and Stannis; in looks or temperament.
- Jon notes that he and Edric Storm are quite similar. They've both been acknowledged by their respective fathers, raised in a castle, granted an education; being more privileged than most bastards would be. But whereas Jon was raised and cared for by his father, Edric was more or less cared for by Cortnay Penrose rather than Renly or Robert, who did nothing but provide gifts for him. Jon's siblings love him with Sansa and Catelyn being the exception, whereas Renly and Stannis find Edric tolerable to say the least.
- Robert notes that he and Stannis have some similarities. They both fought in wars and regarded as veterans and seasoned battle commanders, and do not want to be king. The reasons differ as Robert hated the idea of Joffrey one day coming into power and dislikes ruling overall. Stannis would see kingship as simply his duty even if he hated ruling.
- Not So Similar:
- It's pointed out that, as similar as they are in terms of personality, Stannis and Jon's lives are different. They both grew up in the shadows of the elder brothers, but Stannis was repeatedly put down by both of them, through playful jests or deliberate insults, whereas Jon had grown up loved by most of his siblings in spite of his situation.
- Stannis' marriage to Selyse and Robert's marriage to Cersei. They both find their spouse's families insufferable to deal with, but whereas Robert and Cersei actively behave coldly towards each other and cheat on each other, Stannis' marriage to Selyse is something close to a companionship of sorts and has a level of respect towards her.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: When he returns to take possession of Storm's End, Stannis orders wine and a peach pie for the welcome feast, without even being prompted. This helps show just how much happier he is with Storm's End than with Dragonstone.
- Papa Wolf: Ned might not be Jon's actual father, but he still loves and protects him with all of his heart to nearly threaten Stannis.
- Pet the Dog: Figuratively, and literally. Catelyn thanks Ghost for saving Robb. By proxy, she also thanks Jon.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Baelish somehow escapes and leaves King's Landing, after his plan to frame Robb and Margaery goes awry. It's implied Varys had a hand in it, along with Lysa's suicide.
- Simple, yet Opulent: Stannis expresses this in the odd form of his preferred drink choice. While by modern standards plain water with a little lemon is a very ascetic beverage, in a medieval setting like Westeros clean water is actually quite difficult to get your hands on (there is a reason most people in Westeros drink beer), and lemons are something of a luxury item.
- Slut-Shaming: Baelish more or less does this to Catelyn during Cersei and Jaime's trial. Like Tywin, he writes off Stannis' investigation as simple speculation. He goes into citing that Catelyn's children resemble her more than Ned.
Fridge Brilliance as this has been a sore point for Catelyn. As Robert tries to counterpoint in saying that Arya resembles Ned i.e. has the Stark look, Baelish cites that Catelyn could have carefully lain with a dark-haired man or had been intimate with him at least once. - Spotting the Thread: Stannis gradually uncovers the identity of Jon's mother through noticing some subtle differences between him and Ned, as well as haunting and confusing nightmares involving Jon; presumably alluding to his parentage.
- The Squire: Jon starts off squiring for Stannis and later takes up Edric Storm as his own.
- War Is Hell: Jon learns comes to this conclusion after experiencing it for the first time and lets out some Stress Vomit.
