The Dick Show's (nominal) quest for a new co-host logically requires a large ensemble of guests and personalities, many of whom are only tangentially related to the Show or to the See You Next Tuesday Network as a whole.
Dick MastersonCreator and namesake of the Show, Dick is a high-energy, alcoholic, red-blooded rage whose sheer vitriol is only matched by his quick wit. After falling out with former friend and business partner Maddox, with whom he hosted The Biggest Problem in the Universe, he was able to apply his creative vision to his own podcast, which the majority of fans agree is Biggest Problem's Spiritual Successor.
- Bond One-Liner: Delivers several while fantasizing about fighting airport security.
- Catchphrase: Has several, the most notable being "What makes you a rage?"
- Deadpan Snarker
- Hair-Trigger Temper
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Although capable of dishing out withering verbal assaults on things that make him a rage, he has demonstrated fatherly compassion and understanding with earnest fans asking for advice, as well as with his nephew.
- Only Known By Their Nick Name
Sean the Audio EngineerShawn the Audio Engineer is a longtime friend of Dick and the co-host/audio engineer of the Show. Szuan was also the audio engineer of The Biggest Problem in the Universe, where he quickly became a fan favorite for his broad knowledge, reserved nature, and witty zingers. He formerly engineered Dick's partner-turned-enemy Maddox's podcast, but decided to take a brief hiatus when given a raise by Dick. Sha'an is still a relatively mysterious figure, but is nonetheless the subject of many wild fan theories.
- Beware the Quiet Ones: Usually pretty laid-back and reserved, but can be downright vicious when his principles are challenged.
- Mr Fan Service
- Only Sane Man: More so on Biggest Problem, but he does it here too. He's more levelheaded than the rest of the cast and doesn't drink so he tends not get involved in the sort of insanity that Dick and Asterios do.
- The Quiet One
- The Smart Guy
- The Stoner: Claims to not have smoked "in years," but hasn't been able to shake the Fan Nickname "Sativa Sean."
- The Watson: Frequently asks Dick questions about their more obscure topics, so that Dick has an opportunity to explain it to unfamiliar listeners.
Recurring Guests/News Babes
- Black and Nerdy: His podcast is called Real Nerd Hours for a reason.
Jamie Lynn Hughes
- Ms Fan Service: Come with the territory when you're a bikini model
Asterios KokkinosBefore becoming a stalwart of The Dick Show and the See You Next Tuesday Network in general, Asterios "The Sneaky Greek" Kokkinos was a frequent guest on The Biggest Problem in the Universe. So frequent, in fact, that some fans began to believe Maddox was grooming him to take Dick's place, and even more considered him The Scrappy of the show, mostly because of his loud mannerisms and Hollywood liberal tendancies. After Biggest Problem's demise, Asterios tried to remain a neutral party in the feud, but when Maddox, his long-time friend, broke his trust, he promptly broke bad and became a fierce opponent of Maddox and his lackeys.Host of the podcasts Science Friction and The Five Minute Podcast on the See You Next Tuesday Network.
- Crazy Awesome: Everything he's done since writing the Santa Cucks album.
- I Have Many Names: The Enigma, Santa Cucks, Boisterous Coconuts
- Neutral No Longer: Initially didn't take side in the Dick-Maddox feud. Then Mental Jess doxxed him.
- The Power of Spite: He claims that this is what fuels his career, and why he was able to write and record a Billboard-charting album in 24 hours.
- No Indoor Voice
- Ms. Fanservice: Dick initially invited her on the show to make good on his promise to have "a hot babe read the news".
- The Obi-Wan: To Dick
- "Weird Al" Effect: Started as a parody of Maddox, but now many fans like him better.
- Establishing Character Moment: When she roasted Asterios after he got all the credit for their Letters to Shoin skit.
- Ms Fan Service
Dick's ManDick brought a homeless man home with him from Burning Man three years ago. His adventures are a regular feature on the show and he's a regular guest on the show.
- Almighty Janitor: When he worked at a brewery, his coworkers would jokingly call him Professor because he was the only one with a master's degree.
- The Obi-Wan: Dick is this to him.
- Put on a Bus: Moved to Abu Dhabi after episode 62.
- Your Cheating Heart: Man has been on both sides of this, first when his best friend slept with his girlfriend prior to him meeting Dick and later when he seduced a drug dealer's girlfriend, prompting said drug dealer to hit him in the face with a bottle.
Callers and Personalities
- Reality Is Unrealistic: Shoen thought that he was a character played by Asterios at first.
- Only Known By Their Nick Name: His anonymity is one of the reasons he is so beloved by the fanbase.
- Put on a Bus: When he went to jail.
- The Bus Came Back: Lettuce is now a free man!
- The Smart Guy: Nick is a practicing lawyer in Minnesota, so he often comes to explain the situation from a lawyer's perspective.
- Crazy Awesome: He was initially on the show to talk about a furry orgy he attended. Since then, he's appeared to talk about woodworking, selling sex toys, transitioning to a woman (and transitioning back) and trolling Maddox.
- Ascended Fanboy: Started as fan, now his song is the show's theme song.