Web Video / The Guards Themselves

—"Anarchists overrun the city as they ironically combine their efforts"

The Guards Themselves is a live-action miniseries written and directed by Kyle C. Sullivan, the founder of Door Monster, and featuring much of the same cast and crew. The series is largely a spoof of the superhero genre, similar to a more comedic Watchmen, where the majority of the "super"heroes lack powers. It was released in its entirety on Door Monster's youtube channel in 2015, and a sequel is in development.

In a city ruled by a council of monstrously wealthy oligarchs, the only ones who dare oppose them are the Anarchists; a group of... anarchist vigilantees that seek to bring down the establishment and restore power to the people. And themselves. Unfortunately, a ragtag group of misfits aren't exactly well-equiped to fight billionaires who control the government, and the majority of the anarchists are arrested in the first episode. Led by Master Fusion (Kyle Sullivan), this remnant will take down the oligarchs. Whatever it takes.

Tropes found in The Guards Themselves

• Ambiguously Human: It's unclear as to just what Messier is. Besides terrifying.
• Appropriated Appellation: Per Word of God, Richie heard himself be called The Arsonist on the news and decided that that must be his name.
• Armor Is Useless: Big Fist Lampshades this; the security agents wear body armor and helmets, but that doesn't stop them from being knocked out or shot.
• Attack Backfire: Spectacle is sent reeling when she attempts to taze Noam (again), only to strike the leads to his battery bag. She then promptly collapses.
• Ax-Crazy: The first thing Messier does after being freed is fire his guns wildly into crowds of bystanders.
• Bald of Evil: Paul considers this the only kind of baldness there is.
• Batman Gambit: The Anarchists threaten to blow up Meyer's building knowing that he'll call their bluff and, after thinking that he's won, brag about his plan to betray the other Oligarchs.
• Bavarian Fire Drill: When Harold, a worker at Meyer's building finds Noam using his computer, the Anarchist is quickly able to put him on the defensive by claiming to be from IT and asking Harold why he's so possessive of a company computer.
• Beauty Equals Goodness: Mr. Justice subscribes to this theory in "Resting Villain Face", as seen under Good Scars, Evil Scars. Amicus calling him out on it leads to a brief existential crisis until the man with an eye-scar he'd pointed out earlier confirmed his bias.
  Mr. Justice: If beautiful people can be evil... and ugly people can be good... how do I judge anyone worthy of justice? What if there are no good or evil, but only murky shades of gray made up of both at the same time so muddled together that they become indistinguishable like... two ingredients in a... food... thing. My God... my metaphors. They're gone.
  Amicus: ...did you just call me "ugly"?
• Beneath Notice: For Lincoln, this turns out to be more useful than his actual superpower; Meyer doesn't notice that his Evil Gloating is being recorded.
• The Big Guy: Big Fist. He'd be more effective at it if he wasn't so concerned about chipping his nails every time he punches someone.
• Black-and-White Insanity: Mr. Justice has a brief mental breakdown when he starts to realize that not everyone can be immediately judged as good or evil based on their appearance.
• Blatant Lies: While pretending to be from IT, Noam tells one of Meyer's employees that his computer is getting viruses through the electrical wires and that he can reset his connection by repeatedly turning his desk lamp on and off. He buys it completely.
• Blasting It Out of Their Hands: Messier shoots a security agent's pistol out of their hand with a sniper rifle.
• Brick Joke: In Part 2, Messier proudly explains that he has a mailing list of people he sends death threats to. In Part 3, Harold is confused by the emails he keeps getting about his certain doom.
• The Bully: Katie has apparently been picking on Noam since they were children.
• Butt-Monkey: Noam. Not only does he have to deal with the other Anarchists, he's also been bullied by a girl a head shorter than him his entire life.
• The Cape: Parodied by Mr. Justice.
• Career-Ending Injury: Scott being Scott, his idea of a career ending injury is getting his hair cut.
• Casual Danger Dialogue: Scott and Paul pause in the middle of their fight to discuss their hair product choices, before going back to swinging at each other.
• Chair Reveal: Played for Laughs, complete with a dramatic chord.
  Meyer: ...Really?
  Noam: I was looking out the window, I didn't mean to do that.
• Chekhov's Gun: The Magic Bag's tendency to create a loud and flashy but mostly harmless explosion.
  • Subverted with Messier being shorted out by the Microwave. It may appear to be this, but it's only used for a one-off gag and then never brought up again.
• Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Richie. At one point he puts a bowl of Lucky Charms in the microwave.
  • From the Oligarchs' side, Cossling. Aside from brutally killing home invaders with his antique collection, he also completely forgot that he walked into the room with the glass of wine he's drinking and hadn't set down.
  • Rounding it out, Mr. Justice is this for the Crimefighters, frequently going on meaningless tangents and staring off into the distance while monologuing about justice.
• Cluster Bleep-Bomb: When Meyer realizes that Master Fusion was in his building.
• Coincidental Broadcast: Noam turns on Lincoln's TV and news showing the other Anarchists being arrested is the first thing that appears.
• Complaining About Rescues They Don't Like: Emma wasn't very happy the rescue even *before* she found out that Noam's crew had no idea how to open the cells.
• Cool, but Impractical: Lincoln can create pennies out of thin air, seemingly with No Conservation of Energy. Only pennies. As he himself points out, he can pay for things with pennies, but it tends to piss people of.
• Corrupt Corporate Executive: The Oligarchs.
• Costume Evolution: After the Time Skip, Noam has replaced the Magic Bag with a smaller hip-mounted device for his phone.
• Creepy Monotone: Cossling's normal tone of voice.
• Curse Cut Short: When Meyer realizes that Lincoln recorded him saying that he would betray the other Oligarchs.
  "Ah for f-"*Knocked out by Messier.*
• Cute Bruiser: Katie easily beats up Noam and later the security agents
• The Dandy: Scott/Big Fist.
• Dare to Be Badass: Noam lays out to Scott that in the world they live in, there are powerful people who will always take advantage of the apathy of the general public to do whatever they want, and if people like the Anarchists sit on the sidelines, they're responsible for what happens.
• Decon-Recon Switch: Played for Laughs. Mr. Justice has a mental breakdown as he starts to realize that the world isn't as black-and-white as he had thought, but quickly snaps out of it when he realizes that the person he had been profiling actually was a criminal.
• Dirty Cop: Meyer owns the police, as such, they don't interfere with his private security agents and hired vigilantes.
• Even Evil Has Standards: The other Oligarchs aren't comfortable with Meyer basically setting himself up as the dictator of the city.
• Evil Gloating: Meyer's Fatal Flaw; he always brags about his entire plan once he thinks he's won.
• Evil Versus Evil: As Meyer puts it, the only people who can challenge him are the other Oligarchs.
• Faceless Goons: Meyer's security agents.
• First-Name Basis: Only the Oligarchs' last names are ever portrayed on screen. Both the Crimefighters and Anarchists almost exclusively refer to each other by their first names instead of their code names.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: Messier. The other Anarchists treat him as any kind of friend at all, and that's enough for him to do what Noam tells him to.
• Funny Background Event: While Messier is explain his death threat mailing list, Richie pours a bowl of Lucky Charms and then microwaves it.
• Gilligan Cut: Richie tells Noam that he should just go get money.
  Noam: Richie, there isn't just some store where you can go pick up bags of-
  *Knocks on Lincoln's door.*
  • In the premier, when Meyer swears that the anarchists will be taken down so fast, that "they'll not be able to do another dollar's worth of damage to our property". Cut to Big Fist breaking the lock on a door that, according to the caption, was worth 125 dollars.
• Good Scars, Evil Scars: Mr. Justice applies this trope to its logical extreme.
• Grey-and-Grey Morality: The Anarchists are just that, and don't have a problem with letting loose Richie or (after most of the team is arrested) Messier. On the other hand, the Oligarchs other than Meyer don't feel comfortable with his police state, and don't actually do many villainous things on screen.
• Happy Ending Override: Somewhat. The first season ends on a hopeful note, with the remaining Anarchists successfully removing Meyer from power and escaping unharmed, the implication being that they were now working on defeating the remaining Oligarchs (who remain in power). After the Time Skip, however, it turns out that Messier broke off from the main group and now leads "a Merry Band of Trigger-Happy Hooligans," Richie is still uncontrollable and lighting random parts of the city on fire (and is also implied to be no longer under Noam's supervision), the Oligarchs themselves are still in power, Scott has become disillusioned with the rest of the Anarchists (who he now sees as just as bad as the Oligarchs) and retired and Mr. Justice changed his name to THE Justice.
• Heel–Face Turn: The Crimefighters after being arrested.
• Heel Realization: Seeing Meyer's security forces harass an old man causes the Crimefighters to realize that they're on the wrong side.
• Hero with Bad Publicity: The Oligarch's control of the media allows them to portray the Anarchists as violent terrorists.
• Heroic Comedic Sociopath: Messier. To be fair, he follows Noam's orders easily enough.
• Hopeless with Tech: Harold, whose computer Noam uses to access Meyer's system.
• Hyperspace Arsenal: Messier's power.
• Hypocritical Humor: Noam dresses like a Mad Scientist and calls himself Master Fusion but criticizes the Crimefighters for thinking that they live in a comic book.
• Insult Friendly Fire: All of the tropes that Mr. Justice says applies to obvious villains also happens to apply to the superhero recruit he's standing next to in "Resting Villain Face".
• Large Ham: Messier, when Noam doesn't interrupt him.
• The Load: How Noam initially treats Lincoln.
• Loving Bully: Heavily implied this is why Katie/Spectacle bullied Noam in their childhood and why she continues to bother him.
• Malaproper: Gunn isn't comfortable with one man owning the police; it's a bit too much like a dictationship.
• Manchild: Richie; Word of God describes him as having the mind of an eight year old.
• Meaningful Name: Lincoln produces pennies out of thin air.
• Minimalist Cast: Downplayed; there are actually a lot of extras in the series, however, most of the Anarachists are only briefly on screen, and no Crimefighters other than Mr. Justice and Spectacle.
  Scott: Hundreds of Crimefighters in this city, why is it always these two?
• Muggles Do It Better: Lincoln points out that Noam could just get a cell phone instead of carrying a giant, volatile bag around everywhere.
• Mythology Gag: Scott's "civilian outfit" includes an Altered Egos hoodie.
  • According to Word of God, Scott and Noam are drinking zucchini and rhubarb milkshakes respectively during their meeting.
• No Conservation of Energy: Lincoln seems to be able to create pennies out of literally nothing.
• Noodle Incident: Given the nature of the Time Skip, there are quite a few:
  • How did Scott's hair get cut?
  • Why is Messier leading a "trigger-happy band of hooligans"?
  • Why does Paul hate Katie and view her as a traitor?
  • When did Paul change his name to *The* Justice?
• Not Wearing Tights: Both the Crimefighters and the Anarchists have homemade costumes at best. The background Anarchists are even more diverse.
• Offhand Backhand: Noam knocks out a security agent this way.
• Only Sane Man: Noam/Master Fusion.
• Paying in Coins: As Lincoln points out, you can buy things with only pennies, it just pisses people off. Apparently there are no Coinstars nearby.
• Personality Powers: Inverted; each Anarchist has abilities that are intentionally ironic for their respective personalities.
  • Noam dresses and tinkers like a stereotypical Mad Scientist, but is the Only Sane Man.
  • Scott is the biggest and strongest, and also The Dandy.
  • Richie is a Pyromaniac with the personality of a Cheerful Child.
  • Messier has dozens of guns on his person and wants to Take Over the World, but is easily deflated by anyone actually standing up to him.
  • Lincoln has the most explicitly superhuman power, but it's extremely inefficient and he's desperate for friends.
• Politically Incorrect Hero: Mr. Justice gladly and openly profiles people as good or evil based on their physical appearance.
  • He also laughs off the idea that a "tiny woman" could be evil.
• Power Incontinence: Lincoln sprays pennies out of his hands when he's startled or frustrated.
• The Power of Creation: Lincoln, but he can only create one thing.
• Pyromaniac: Riche/The Arsonist.
• Running Gag: Messier pointing a gun at someone's head.
• Shabby Heroes, Well-Dressed Villains: True for the most part, with most of the Oligarchs dressed as you would expect from Corrupt Corporate Executives over against the Anarchists' homemade costumes, but inverted in two cases; Big Fist is quite concerned with his appearance, while Tedd Gunn looks like he'd be more at home in a biker bar than an executive office.
• Spell My Name with a "The": Post Time Skip, Mr. Justice has changed his name to "THE Justice".
• The Stoic: Shawn.
• Stuff Blowing Up: Noam's bag, although the explosion is mostly harmless.
• Take Over the World: Messier's stated goal. In practice, he (it?) tends to go along with the rest of the Anarchists' plans.
• Tempting Fate:
  Scott: But hey, check us out. Got all the way here and nothing's gone wrong!
  *Noam is tazed by Katie from offscreen*
  Katie: Hi Noam.
  Noam: Dang it Scott, why'd you say that?
• Thou Shall Not Kill: Noam tries to get Messier to agree to this. It sticks for about a single mission.
• Throw-Away Guns: How Messier deals with an empty magazine. Given that he really does have a Hyperspace Arsenal and probably doesn't care about a human hurting themselves with a discarded firearm, it's pretty justified.
• Time Skip: After several years, the Anarchists are back.
• Token Evil Teammate: Messier.
• Unwitting Pawn: The Crimefighters for Meyer.
• Victory Is Boring: Katie's attitude after most of the Anarchists are arrested.
• Villain with Good Publicity: The Oligarchs paint themselves as benefactors of the city working to take down the dangerous Anarchists.
• Walking Armory: Messier.
• What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Creating infinite money out of thin air sounds like an awesome power. Unfortunately, Lincoln can only produce pennies.
• Wine Is Classy: Cossling is always seen with a glass of wine, even when he's in a meeting. He doesn't actually enjoy the taste and at one point forgets where he got it.
• Would Hit a Girl: Well, Noam would try anyway.