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Did someone say...GAWWWWWWBLINS!?

"The only good gawblin is a DEAD gawblin! Now let's make these GAWBLINS GOOOOOOOD!!!"
Goblin Slayer

Goblin Slayer Abridged is The Abridged Series of Goblin Slayer, made by Grimmjack of the Schmuck Squad, who are also credited for The Seven Deadly Schmucks.

The plot remains roughly the same, with the idealistic young Priestess joining an upcoming party in the local Guild. Together, the four take on a simple Goblin slaying quest, only for things to go horribly wrong. When all seems lost, Priestess is then saved by the Heroic Comedic Sociopath known as Goblin Slayer. From then on, hilarity ensues.

Seven episodes have been released so far.

Not to be confused with BridgeBrains's Goblin Slayer Abridged no matter what the YouTube algorithm tells you.


This series provides examples of…

  • Accent Upon The Wrong Syllable: Goblin Slayer emphasizes the normally silent w in "Sword Maiden".
  • Achievements in Ignorance: Goblin Slayer has all his mail delivered to Table. Table also handles logistics. Precisely how this works is something he doesn't dwell on; he's too busy killing goblins.
  • Adaptation Deviation: The titular Slayer of Goblins has plenty of this.
    • Adaptational Personality Change: Anime Goblin Slayer was a quiet, reserved guild member of few words who cared about protecting others by slaying Goblins because no one else will. Here, he’s a loud, violent, borderline Ax-Crazy, Blood Knight who’s entire life revolves around one thing; killing GAAAAWWWWWBLINS!
    • Adaptational Villainy: He takes much more pleasure in killing Goblins with seemingly no motivation other than hating them (though episode 4 has his motivation being similar to canon in that they killed his family), and while Anime Goblin Slayer was willing to believe there was such thing as a "good" goblin, Abridged Goblin Slayer believes that the only good Goblin is a dead one. He also has little to no regard for anyone who happens to get caught in the crossfire, like a village he accidentally burns down while clearing out a goblin camp.
  • Adaptational Badass: A minor example, here the Female Knight has been shown to be stronger than the Heavy Warrior, at least in the department of arm-wrestling where she routinely beats him.
  • Adaptational Name Change:
    • Greenhorn Team is now given the ridiculously cheesy name “Titan Storm”, courtesy of Warrior.
    • The Rookie Duo is better known around the guild as....Poop Patrol.
    • The Elven and Dwarven nicknames for Goblin Slayer have been changed to "Orc Bulge" and "Shit Dick".
  • Adaptational Superpower Change: Anime Lizard Priest's magic could summon skeletal warriors to aid in battle as well as grant him a variety of other abilities. Abriged Lizard Priest's magic is acknowledged as Necromancy by Priestess.
  • Adapted Out: So far the Cow Girl has made no direct appearances, despite her being one of the Main Characters and appearing regularly in the episodes the series has already adapted. She does show up in a flashback by Goblin Slayer with black scribbles over her eyes when Slayer thinks about how he lost his family and hometown, though, and while it's initially implied she suffered Death by Adaptation, when the Goblin Slayer is explaining the fate of the village to Priestess, he mentioned he "lost everything... except-" before quickly changing the subject, giving some leeway to the idea she's still alive. Eventually subverted as she makes her long-awaited appearance in episode 6.
  • Admiring the Abomination: Lizard Priest does this to the Goblins when he realizes they invaded an underground temple that was originally built by humans. Goblin Slayer is not pleased.
  • Affably Evil: Lizard Priest is surprisingly friendly for a cannibalistic necromancer.
  • The Alcoholic: The Dwarven Shaman has 100 years, and 100,000 beers under his belt.
  • Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: After drinking a bit too much of Dwarf Shaman’s Duergar’s Grundle, High Elf Archer starts acting completely off her rocker before passing out.
  • Almighty Janitor: Just like Anime!Goblin Slayer, Abridged!Goblin Slayer has a reputation for only taking on Goblin-related quests, which are considered beneath most of the other Guild Members. However, as Priestess puts it, his work is important and nobody is better at killing Goblins than him.
  • Ambiguously Evil: Lizard Priest. He cannibalizes members of his race (including his own relatives), compliments the Goblins’ ability to steal, and is a practitioner of Necromancy, which Priestess identifies as “super evil”. However, given his character, he might just be Obliviously Evil.
  • Armor-Piercing Question: Sword Maiden gives one to Priestess that she can't find a good answer for:
    Sword Maiden: What will you do when your Goblin Slayer isn't there? When you need him most, when everything is on the line, what will you do when he doesn't come? When you're alone - so alone that there's no light at the end of the tunnel and all you see is darkness?
    Priestess: I don't know...
  • Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy: A lot of the Guild Members have a bit of an ego problem, but none is bigger than Spearman.
  • Ass Shove: Goblin Slayer apparently keeps a stash of potions stored in his butt. Figures.
  • Ax-Crazy: To say that Goblin Slayer's obsession with killing Goblins is a bit unstable would be an understatement.
  • Bad Liar: Priestess is too innocent to lie convincingly.
  • Badass Boast: Surprisingly enough, Rookie Warrior manages to give one to a giant Sewer Rat.
    Rookie Warrior: You think you can surprise me?! I practically live down here!
    • Goblin Slayer gets an utterly epic one as he utterly brutalizes the Goblin Champion.
    Goblin Slayer: Your body is dying, and it knows it. In your last moment, you'll look for an escape, any solace you can find. But it's just you and me, Tiny. I don't know how you 'sewer rats' got down here, but of all the people in all the word you could have faced, you got me. YOU GOT YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!
  • Beneath the Mask: Literally. Goblin Slayer is normally a screaming lunatic who makes decisions fast and can't be turned aside when he makes a plan, but once his helmet is removed he becomes shockingly soft-spoken and uncertain. His helmet seems to be a coping mechanism, a literal armor that protects him from his own traumatic past.
  • Berserk Button: Other than goblins, Goblin Slayer seems to have an intense hatred for rapping.
  • The Berserker: Goblin Slayer most definitely qualifies as such. When he gets truly angry, the guy is a force of nature.
    • Rookie Warrior gets over his fear of insects by....losing himself to his Unstoppable Rage.
    Rookie Warrior: I've gotten over my fear of bugs, but now I'm afraid...of myself.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Priestess starts to show signs of this, especially against the Ogre.
  • Black Comedy Cannibalism: Apparently it’s customary for members of Lizard Priest’s race to feast on the flesh of deceased family members.
  • Blood Knight: GS really loves killing Goblins. Sometimes with a maniacal laugh. And when he's not killing Goblins, he talks about killing Goblins.
  • Break the Cutie: Just like in the anime, both Priestess and High Elf Archer have their grand visions of Adventuring shattered by the horror of what Goblins are capable of.
  • Brick Joke: After High Elf Archer fails a "goblin test," Goblin Slayer muses to himself to check if elves are a type of goblin. Later, when the Goblin Lord asks Goblin Slayer if he has any last words, Goblin Slayer says:
    Goblin Slayer: Are elves goblins? I just gotta know.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Goblin Slayer might be a bit… weird, to say the least, but he knows all there is to know about Goblins and knows the best approach, such as stocking up on potions and scouting ahead. He also manages to give Poop Patrol some useful advice for killing goblins, even though that's not exactly what they're after.
  • Call-Back: Lampshaded in Episode 7, when Priestess uses Goblin Slayer's "The only good goblin is a dead goblin" line as a sassy retort to the Goblin Lord.
  • Calling Your Attacks: Goblin Slayer does this frequently in Episode 2.
    Goblin Slayer: GOBLINSTABBINATTACK!
    • Episode 4 features the GOBLIN SLAYING KICK!
    • The Goblin Lord gets in on the action with HUMANSLAYINGATTACK! in Episode 7
  • Catchphrase:
    • Goblin Slayer has two.
      • Telling people who he is and what he does.
      • He refers to the Goblins' habits as "Goblinating".
    • Dwarf Shaman has a habit of saying "oh" twice when he hears something he doesn't like. e.g. "Oh, oh that's not good."
    • Every time he's inside a relatively small room and the entrance closes, Lizard Priest over-dramatically laments that he and everybody else with him cannot escape and will die in there. Lampshaded when a room starts to fill with Deadly Gas and High Elf Archer agrees with Lizard Priest that they might actually die in here.
  • Character Development: Priestess, who starts out very similar to her anime counterpart, becomes much more badass in Episode 2, and seems to be showing signs of turning out like Goblin Slayer. Including talking in her sleep about Goblins.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander:
    • Of course, the titular Goblin Slayer. He wasn't exactly all right in the head in the canon either, but here he is so bad that he even talks with his table in the Guild building Table (which he somehow gets mail delivered to and lets handle the logistics of how it's possible). He comes across like a fantasy version of Deadpool.
    • Lizard Priest. He’s probably the only character weirder than Goblin Slayer.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Landers Minder: Priestess essentially becomes one to Goblin Slayer in Episode 2.
  • Comedic Sociopathy: Goblin Slayer. He's so obsessed with killing Goblins, he even dreams about it. And those are the good dreams.
    • Hilariously/Disturbingly, it's spreading to Priestess, whose dreams are starting to feature goblins and how much she dislikes them.
  • Companion Cube: Goblin Slayer’s table, whom he interacts with frequently.
  • Conspiracy Theorist: Lampshaded by Goblin Slayer. He believes that the Goblins came from the Green Moon, even though nobody really believes him.
  • Dare to Be Badass: Goblin Slayer recalls the one his mentor the Burglar gave him that fully set him on his path.
    Burglar: What will you do? Who will you become? Right now, you are unfocused. Your family became victims of the goblins before your very eyes! And still you are unfocused? Who else needs to die before YOU LEARN? The goblins took your family! The goblins took your world! How will you make them pay? WHAT will you take from THEM?
    Goblin Slayer: Everything.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Plenty of characters usually respond to most situations with sarcastic wit. Some of the biggest examples being Guild Girl and High Elf Archer.
    • Priestess states in Episode 5 that she wants to be this trope.
  • Destructive Savior: While Goblin Slayer manages to take out an entire nest of Goblins that had been harassing a small village in Episode 2, he also ended up burning down the village in the process.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: Goblin Slayer would like you to know he's Goblin Slayer and he kills goblins.
    Goblin Slayer: I'm Goblin Slayer. I slay goblins!
  • Didn't Think This Through: Female Knight, in episode 7, announces to Heavy Warrior that she's saving her energy to take down one particularly powerful goblin, settling on a Goblin Champion once one shows up. However, Guild Girl earlier established that you only get paid per goblin head brought in. Since Champions have the exact same amount of heads as any other goblin (i.e. one) she ended up expending a lot of energy fighting the Champion for only a single gold coin.
  • Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: Dwarf Shaman is the only one to fully appreciate the power of the ogre in front of them. He's also the one who insults it the most.
  • Doomed Hometown: As in canon, Goblin Slayer's hometown was raided by goblins, leaving him the sole survivor. Unlike in canon, the town was then flooded with lava by a nearby volcanic eruption, which Goblin Slayer notes would have been neat payback for the time his sister told him the floor was covered in invisible lava and ended up giving him the embarrassing nickname of "Monkey Kid."
  • The Dragonslayer: Many guild members aspire to be one, much to the Guild Girl's annoyance.
  • Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Invoked. In this world, the characters do have actual names, but aren’t allowed to use them in the Guild’s line of work.
  • Everyone Has Standards: The series delights in cruel, crass and black humor, the relentless slaughter of goblins and the many deaths of stupid adventurers or the unlucky people that happen to cross their paths, but the one thing it refuses to do, regardless of the circumstances, is show what the Goblins do to their victims in any sort of comedic light. Indeed the main reason the slaughter of Goblins is shown as comedic is because they are an irredeemable bunch of pests that need to be dealt with.
  • Exact Words: Episode 2 opens with Goblin Slayer burning down a tree goblins have built their lair in. Unfortunately, the fire spreads to a village full of innocent people. When one of the villagers complains to Guild Girl about this, she points out that when he filled out the quest form, his specific words were to kill the goblins "by ANY means necessary".
  • Experienced Protagonist: Much like Anime!Goblin Slayer, Abridged!Goblin Slayer excels at killing Goblins. Except he's batshit crazy.
  • Freudian Excuse Is No Excuse: Goblin Slayer coldly points out that Sword Maiden's attempts to guilt trip him over her goblin trauma still doesn't justify dragging him away from the helpless countryside just for her peace of mind instead of using the limitless other options available to her, pointing out that some girl might be going through the same horrors she had because he wasn't there to protect her.
  • Fridge Logic: In-Universe - Dwarf Shaman points out that Beholders are supposed to be immune to magic while he magically puts it to sleep.
  • Functional Addict: Dwarf Shaman. He’s an alcoholic (or, as he puts it, "a practicing alcoholic"), but manages his hangovers by drinking more booze.
  • Fun with Subtitles: Subtitles frequently gives different names for characters, such as "The Best Girl" or "Fun Hater" for the Priestess, and even subtitles emotions such as fear in emojis and such.
  • Genius Ditz: Goblin Slayer is an absolute raving lunatic, but he is NOT dumb. He has detailed knowledge of weaponry, classes, and, most importantly, how to best use them to kill goblins.
  • Glory Seeker: When they aren't all working to get paid, most members of the Guild are looking for fame and glory.
  • Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Much like her Anime counterpart, Priestess has blonde hair is by far the nicest character in the entire series. However, even she has her limits.
  • Harmful to Minors: Even Goblin Slayer's a bit disturbed to learn Priestess is only 15.
    Goblin Slayer: ...15, what the fuck?
  • Hidden Depths: Goblin Slayer might have a few screws loose, but he’s also aware of the Crapsack World he lives in and how ugly life as an adventurer can be. He best exemplifies this when the party finds a tortured elf in a Goblin camp.
    Goblin Slayer: The Guild would have you believe that it’s all dragon-slaying and glory-hogging. But it’s not! It’s not always glamorous, and it’s not always clean! Especially when it’s needed. We’re not here to “adventure”, Elf! We’re here to slay gaawblins!
  • Instant Taste Addiction: Lizard Priest is on a mission to try the food from every culture on the planet. When he tries cheese, he initially says it's alright... until the taste kicks in and suddenly he declares he would die for cheese. It's part of why he aligns with Goblin Slayer; he's afraid the goblins will goblinate cheese, which is unacceptable.
  • The Knights Who Say "Squee!": Priestess is a huge fan of Sword Maiden, with an almost encyclopedic knowledge of her.
  • Large Ham:
    • Goblin Slayer. He’ll start full on screaming at the drop of a hat.
    Goblin Slayer: "I wish I was innocent like you, but I’m not. I’m full of rage, and beans, SPIRIT, PRIDE, AND HEART, AND SOUL, AND RAGE, AND BEANS! SPICY BEANS! The only good goblin’s a dead goblin! NOW LET’S MAKE THESE GOBLINS GOOOOD!"
    • The Ogre. He basically calls out loud everything he will do and does. Unfortunately, the series being what it is, nobody takes him seriously at all.
  • Lighter and Softer: A very minor example. The infamous scene of Fighter being gang-raped by the Goblins is replaced with her simply being beaten mercilessly by them and having her clothes stolen.
    4kids aka Priestess: Holy crap, you're alive! I'm sorry they took your clothes, and only did that and nothing else possible!
  • Moments of Lucidity: Goblin Slayer is a lot wiser, smarter, and even saner than he appears, and acts as a good mentor to both Priestess and the Poop Patrol.
  • Motor Mouth: Canon Goblin Slayer is a quiet man of few words who doesn't speak more than necessary. Abridged Goblin Slayer's standard volume is loud and rarely stops talking. Mostly about GAAAWBLINS and slaying them.
  • The Name is Slayer, Goblin Slayer: Who else?
  • No Name Given: Actually explained in-universe.
    " Your name is Priestess! No names! Not in this line of work!"
  • Nominal Hero: Goblin Slayer. If you want to kill goblins, he’s your man. If not, find someone else.
  • The Nose Knows: Goblin Slayer can apparently smell Goblins from within their cave, despite the fact that his armor always smells like a Goblin.
  • Now What?: With the Demon Lord slain and all goblin quests completed in episode 5, Goblin Slayer has a bit of a mental episode when he realizes there's nothing left for him to do but go home.
  • Obfuscating Insanity: Zigzagged with Goblin Slayer. While he's certainly some level of insane, Episode 5 shows that he can be a lot calmer and mature when he wants to be.
  • The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: When Elf Archer is surrounded by goblins, Dwarf Shaman fights his way through the horde, angrily declaring that the only one who gets to kill her is him.
  • Only Sane Man:
    • Much like her canon counterpart, Guild Girl is one of the few individuals aware of how dangerous life in the Guild can be. However, unlike her canon counterpart, she’s infuriated by everyone’s blatant disregard for their own safety to the point of apathy, even going so far as taking "screaming breaks" when the craziness gets a little too much for her.
    • Her occasional Womanchild aspect aside, the High Elf Archer is the closest the Goblin Slayer party has to a normal person and knows when to get serious.
    • Priestess herself is relatively normal, especially when she's around Goblin Slayer.
  • Pet the Dog: Poop Patrol are pretty much the only Guild Members Guild Girl isn't a complete jerk to, mainly because they're the only ones who aren't Lethally Stupid.
  • Phrase Catcher: Anybody who spends time with Goblin Slayer eventually starts to pick up his habit of referring to the greenskins as GAWBLINS instead of goblins.
  • Psychopathic Manchild: Goblin Slayer's mood can change at the drop of a hat, and he has an unhealthy obsession with killing goblins. Mostly for shits and giggles.
  • Precision F-Strike:
    • Priestess to Ogre.
    Priestess: I don't think you're a goblin, Mr. Ogre!
    Ogre: I don't need pity from you! You're at the top of my shit list, Priest!
    Priestess: Ohhh, okay! No! I was being nice, ya fuckin' GAAWWBLIN! Go FUCK yourself!
    • Goblin Slayer delivers one at the very end of Episode 6 when he discovers the mass of goblin tracks outside Cow Girl's farm.
      Goblin Slayer: Oh shit...
      Crazed!Goblin Slayer: Told you.
  • Pride: A common flaw among a lot of the Guildmembers is their sense of pride, as it makes them underestimate certain creatures like the Goblins, which can lead to their deaths. One of the reasons why Guild Girl actually helps Rookie Duo is because they're some of the only guild members who are capable of swallowing their pride.
  • Rape as Backstory: While the show is Lighter and Softer than the original series, Sword Maiden's rape and torment at the hands of the goblins remains unchanged.
  • "Reason You Suck" Speech: While Anime!Goblin Slayer let the Sword Maiden off, Abridged!Goblin Slayer goes fully into the flaws of Sword Maiden trying to keep Goblin Slayer in Water Town.
    Goblin Slayer: ...Hm. Pathetic. A waste of my time. You can turn into a cult-slaying Kaiju monstrosity, and you ask for my help? I do my job for the love of killing goblins, sure. But that's not the only reason. I do it because somewhere out there, a nameless village no one will remember, might get burnt to the ground if someone doesn't step in and kill some filthy goblins before they attack. So that a family with a name no one will remember gets to see another day with their loved ones. You have unlimited resources. You could have asked anyone in the world for help. You have the God of Justice on speed dial, and you're trying to guilt-trip me into living with you? If I'm not out there killing goblins, some innocent girl might suffer the same fate as you... or worse. People might die because you lured us here, Sword Maiden, for your own selfish reasons. I can't believe Priestess looks up to you.
  • Screams Like a Little Girl: Rookie Warrior, when confronted with bugs.
  • Shout-Out: Multiple ones to Pathfinder:
    • Wizard Girl claims to have studied at the Arcanamirium at Absalom.
    • Dwarf Shaman and High Elf Archer respectively name the gods Torag (patron of the Dwarves) and Calistria (a goddess of lust and vengeance favored by the elves), and furthermore High Elf Archer mentions that the elven kingdom of Kyonin is close by.
    • Rookie Cleric's patron deity, whom she calls upon for her Holy Smite, is Abadar.
    • Likewise, Sword Maiden's deity is the goddess Iomedae.
    • In Episode 5, Dwarf Shaman mentions going back home to the Five King's Mountains, and Lizard Priest likewise plans on returning to his home in Droon.
    Goblin Slayer: MINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!!!
  • Shown Their Work: The team actually did the math behind Goblin Slayer's bank account, estimating his net worth to be around 82,000 gold and having 55k on him at the time of episode 7 to pay the guild with.
  • Snark-to-Snark Combat: High Elf Archer and Dwarf Shaman’s typical relationship is them exchanging barbed comments with one another.
  • Sneeze Cut: In episode 2, when it's mentioned that many join the guild for glory and looking cool, it abruptly cuts to Spearman sneezing.
  • Sociopathic Hero: Given Goblin Slayer's unhealthy obsession with killing Goblins, it's easy to paint him as one.
  • Straight Man: Priestess to Goblin Slayer’s Wacky Guy. Such as when Goblin Slayer “casts” death by lighting a hobgoblin on fire and kicking it down a tunnel.
    Goblin Slayer: "Sounds of Goblins burning to death, now THAT’s magic!"
    Priestess (or "Fun Hater", according to the subtitles): "Okay, but there wasn’t really an incantation or anything, so…"
    Goblin Slayer: "Do you just hate fun?"
  • Strange-Syntax Speaker: Invoked with Witch. While she does speak with long drawls and slow pauses, it's later revealed to all be an act.
  • Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: At first, Priestess' Cure Light Wounds, while weak, appears to be useful if needed (which it will), but in practice it turns out to be a poor idea when she has to heal Wizard, as she was previously stabbed with a poisoned dagger; Cure Light Wounds healed the cut, but it didn't repair the tissue or neutralize the poison, meaning it barely did anything to help. Goblin Slayer later emphasizes that Neutralize Poison would have been more effective in saving her.
  • Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Lampshaded by Priestess when she's greeted by Poop Patrol, an up and coming group within the Guild. However, unlike Titan Storm, they're aware of how much of a laughing stock they are, and want to earn more respect.
  • Too Stupid To Live: Pretty much most of the Guild is too blissfully unaware of how dangerous the job can be and usually go in over their heads. Best exemplified with Titan Storm.
  • Troll: Goblin Slayer has his moments, especially with the "It's goblin pee-pee" moment in episode 1.
  • Unspoken Plan Guarantee: Dwarf Shaman's getting a bit pissed off at how Goblin Slayer never bothers to tell the others his plan, just their role.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Dwarf Shaman and Elf Archer spend a good majority of their time bickering and arguing. However, when the shit really hits the fan, they fight hard to protect one another and begrudgingly admit that they don't "hate" traveling together.
  • Wham Line: In the first season finale, Goblin Slayer finally tells the ignorant Cow Girl what his real job is:
    Goblin Slayer: "My name, is Goblin Slayer, and I slay goblins."
    Cow Girl: "I know."
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Goblin Slayer tears into Sword Maiden for hiring him from the undefended countryside for goblin extermination when she has the power and resources to get it done herself, livid that she'd prioritize her own mental wellbeing over the lives of others.
  • Worst Aid: Lizard Shaman used rags he found in the sewer as bandages.
  • You Are Better Than You Think You Are: Still bothered by Sword Maiden's earlier Armor-Piercing Question, Priestess confessed to Goblin Slayer that she feels helpless without him. In a surprisingly tender moment he points out that there's a difference between "needing help" and "being helpless," and that everyone needs some help from time to time, himself included.

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