"You're an overweight, frustrated, unsuccessful, stammering, stuttering, sweating, y'know, completely out of your element individual."Primetime Glick was a comedy series that aired on Comedy Central from 2001 to 2003. It starred Martin Short (in a fat suit and convincing facial make-up) as clueless interviewer Jiminy Glick, who would fawn over celebrities, despite knowing next to nothing about them (and frequently getting facts about them wrong). He also had a penchant for unknowingly insulting whoever he talked to. Jiminy was joined by his bandleader, Adrian Van Voorhees (Michael McKean), who took the brunt of his abuse. An elderly, cranky woman named Miss Gathercole (also played by Short) appeared in the studio audience of every show and often shouted complaints at Glick.In-between the interviews were "Jiminy's Home Movies" (featuring Jan Hooks as Dixie, his chain-smoking, drinking, pill-dependent wife), "Lalawood Fables" (marionette reenactments of grisly Hollywood murders and other scandals), and fake commercials and trailers. Some arguably verged on being tasteless (Jiminy pretending to be an Asian stereotype at Bob Jones University) or not being as funny due to recent events (the Tom Green/Osama Bin Laden sketch being a prime example- keep in mind it was filmed only a few months before 9/11), but there were plenty of hilarious ones like the film parody "An American Pope" (featuring Martin Short as Tommy Lee Jones!) and Adrian's "Harp Accompaniment For Your Sensual Massage" CD, among others.Much of the humor simply came from how bizarre Glick was. He would randomly lower and raise his vocal pitch, frequently stuff his face (to the point where he couldn't talk) while talking to the bewildered guest, fidget uncomfortably in his chair and fall over, and make out-of-nowhere non sequiturs. For instance, one time while interviewing Rob Lowe and asking why he doesn't have a Southern accent despite being from the south, Glick went into a string about Sinatra's ex-wives and ended by asking Lowe what his opinion was on Barbara Sinatra. Being that the interviews were improvised, many crazy moments could occur between Glick and the guests.It ran for 30 episodes. Sadly, only five episodes from Season 1 and The Movie Jiminy Glick in Lalawood are out on DVD.
— Jerry Seinfeld, to Jiminy Glick
Primetime Glick contains examples of:
- Accidental Misnaming: In the interview with Ice Cube, Jiminy keeps unknowingly calling him Vanilla Ice.
- Alliterative Name: Jiminy's four sons are named Morgan, Mason, Matthew, and Modine.
- All Musicals Are Adaptations / Title: The Adaptation: Spoofed — Jiminy tries to open one episode with a number from Apollo 13 — The Musical; naturally it goes wrong.
- Additionally, in the very first episode, Jiminy performs a song from the musical version of Twister, called "She's A-Blowin'".
- Anti-Role Model: At the end of one episode, Jiminy told the audience that if they're planning on drinking and driving, to gun it so they'll be off the road by the time he gets done with the show.
- Bait and Switch: When interviewing Jerry Seinfeld, Jiminy says he loved Jerry on that wonderful show... by the name of Benson.
- The Beard: Guest Bill Maher assumed that Dixie was Jiminy's beard and that he was actually gay. Jiminy's retort:Jiminy: Isn't that interesting, coming from a forty-four year-old bachelor??
- Berserk Button: Jiminy chews out Edie Falco merely for interrupting him. Once.Glick: SSSSSHHHH. I have more questions.Falco: Sorry. (long pause as Glick angrily stares at her)Glick: If you keep interrupting me, while I'm trying to interview, how can I possibly double task? I can't double task! You expect too much from me, girl! (another long pause) I don't mean to get heavy, and I know you're my guest, but that's wrong. And I want you to talk to your psychic or your shrink, or to your God, God forbid you should go to church, and question why you would interrupt me! Thank you very much.
- Big Eater: And big choker, too.
- Biopic: In-universe example: Jiminy had a made-for-TV movie about his courtship with Dixie. George Wendt played Jiminy Glick. However, during the interview with Wendt, Jiminy admits that the vast majority of his so-called biopic is "just a lot of lies".
- Blatant Lies: As mentioned in Biopic, the vast majority of Jiminy's biopic is outright falsities to add drama to the film.
- Broken Record: In The Movie, while interviewing Ben DiCarlo, Jiminy remarks that Ben's made so many wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... (Ben taps Jiminy's arm) films.
- Buddhism: Jiminy and Dixie are apparently Buddhists. However, they also exchange Hanukkah gifts for some reason.
- But I Digress: Happens quite frequently in Jiminy's interviews.
- Butt Monkey: Adrian Van Voorhees.
- Canada, Eh?: During the Eugene Levy interview, Jiminy makes tons of stereotypes about Canada, which Levy has to refute.
- Captain Obvious: Played for laughs. In his interview with Rob Lowe, Jiminy confirms that Lowe plays a speechwriter for the president. Jiminy adds: "But not for the real president; this is for a fictitious president?" Lowe just smiles while the audience laughs.
- In his interview with Lorraine Bracco, he compliments her beauty and voice: "The combination is just to make you melt. Any heterosexual will tell you!... The gay boys won't."
- The Casanova: Guest Alec Baldwin was portrayed as this in his interview, admitting that only one woman ever turned down his sexual advances.
- Catch Phrase: Jiminy loves to say "Wonderful!", often numerous times in succession. Adrian opens each show with:Adrian: I'm Adrian Van Voorhees, and am I the only one who needs a Glick fix?Audience: No! We do!Adrian: Damn straight! Ladies and gentlemen, Jiminy Glick!
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Jiminy Glick, obviously. He has the weirdest trains of thought.
- Corpsing: In a "Jiminy's Home Movies" where Jiminy worked with a personal trainer at the gym, Jiminy said something that made Jan Hooks (who played Dixie) laugh, but Dixie was supposed to be upset in that moment. By happy coincidence, Hooks put her hands over her face to make it look like her character Dixie was crying instead of covering her laughing face.
- Curse Cut Short: The old producer of the show, Irving Cohen, delivers one during a vaudeville number:Irving Cohen: So buy yourself a condom, they're two for a buck / So you don't get her pregnant when you're ready to- babababa! (has heart attack)
- Dysfunctional Family: And how. It's a miracle Jiminy and Dixie are still together, given how irritated Dixie seems to get with Jiminy.
- Every Episode Ending: Jiminy in the steam room with one of the guests from the episode.
- Everything Sounds Sexier in French: Jiminy is smitten with guest Lorraine Bracco because she speaks some French to him.
- Fat Suit
- Funny Background Event / Throw It In: In certain "Out and About" interviews, you can hear the crew members laughing in the background.
- Groin Attack: One of the kids hits Jiminy in the crotch during one of the "Lalawood Fables" sketches.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: In his interview with Billy Crystal, Jiminy said "Two heteros like us."
- Healing Hands: In the interview with Steven Spielberg, Jiminy was winded from getting candy while Steven was talking. While breathing heavily, Steven put his index finger on Jiminy's cheek, and a bemused Jiminy asked: "What are ya gonna do with that?" Steven replied, "I'm gonna do E.T.. (scratchy voice) I'll be right here. (finger glows as he touches Jiminy's face)Jiminy: (instantly happy) Ohhh... thank you, Steven! Steven Spielberg: The man, of magic.
- Hilarious Outtakes: The TV series didn't have any, but the movie featured a couple minutes of outtakes before the credits. Among the highlights were Jiminy calling Steve Martin gay for being a cheerleader in high school and making Kurt Russell laugh uncontrollably.
- Incredibly Lame Pun: In a deleted scene of his interview with Conan O'Brien, Jiminy made a bad pun while performing some improv with Conan: "I hope that there's tartar sauce, or this chicken ain't gonna fly!"
- Instrumental Theme Tune: Aside from a female chorus singing "I gotta have a Glick fix, ooh I need a Glick fix...", the theme is a rock instrumental.
- Is This Thing Still On?: In-universe example: Subverted; Jiminy often assumes certain celebrities such as Ernie Kovacs and George C. Scott are still alive. He's surprised when told by guests that they've passed away a long time ago.
- It Is Pronounced Tropay: In his interview with Chevy Chase, Jiminy said he's broken a "capillery".
- Jerk Ass: Jiminy Glick, though he's often unaware of it and is actually surprised to be called out on it.
- Kryptonite Factor: In outtakes of The Movie, Jiminy says his kryptonite is cheese parmesan and asks Steve Martin what's his. He just laughs.
- Lampshaded Double Entendre: In the movie, Jiminy is pulled away from sex with Dixie by his talent agent. After their conversation, Jiminy says:Jiminy: I have to go take care of some unfinished business, if'n you know what I mean.
- Large Ham: Like you need to ask who.
- Late to the Punchline: When intervieing Nathan Lane, Jiminy mentioned his sons: Morgan, Mason, Matthew, and Modine:Nathan: The four Ms.
Jiminy: (excited) "The four Ms"!........ (gets it) oh, that's right.
- Leave the Camera Running: At the end of the John Salley interview, Jiminy cuts to commercial. Instead of fading out, the camera stays on the two after the audience applause dies down, and the two have virtually nothing to say to each other. The most Jiminy can ask is if John likes Jujyfruits. Then to break the awkward silence, he runs off to get some.
- Long List: One episode promises to feature all the Baldwin brothers, and there's enough time for two cutaways to Glick getting ready to go onstage before Adrian finishes reading the list (which includes such lesser-known Baldwins as Shlomo and Baldy).
- Mistaken for Racist: Jiminy pleads his case to the audience after his aforementioned Asian stereotyping at Bob Jones University.
- Mood Whiplash: Played for Laughs in the John McEnroe interview. The majority of the interview is Jiminy and John getting along, until it all suddenly goes south in the last 30 seconds.John: Next time, you'll promise, right? Next time, you'll promise, will you ask me some nice questions next time? Some better questions?
Jiminy: You're telling me I didn't ask you nice questions?
John: They were out.
Jiminy: They were perfectly on the line! You have GOT to be kidding me!
John: C'mere and kiss my ass!
Jiminy: I don't want to kiss your ass unless there's money involved!
John: Give me a break.
Jiminy: Give me a break! (pointing at him) You stop it, and you hear me out. You hear me when I speak to you. You stink!
John: I'm outta here. (gets up)
Jiminy: Oh, you're outta here? How about you were outta here before you sat down!
John: Thanks, man.
Jiminy: "Man", oh suddenly we're in a beatnik movie.
- The Movie: Jiminy Glick in Lalawood. It wasn't well received.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Naturally, since Martin Short plays most of them, with heavy make-up. Among the actors he's impersonated are Tommy Lee Jones, Conan O'Brien, Tom Green, Al Pacino, and (perhaps his best one) David Lynch in the movie.
- No Indoor Voice: Referenced in the Nathan Lane interview.Jiminy: You don't really project; that's not your thing, is it so much?
Nathan: Well in the theater it is, but we're in a hotel room now, so you can actually lower your voice.
Jiminy: I could, but I won't! HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!!!!
Nathan: (touching his ear in pain) Yeah...
- Not Listening to Me, Are You?: Played with in the Steven Spielberg interview. Jiminy asks Steven what his secret to success is, and Steven gives a long answer about how he's been influenced by the great directors and movies of the past. Jiminy is bored within seconds of asking the question and after slouching in his chair, he goes to a nearby table and stuffs snacks in his mouth, then crawls back into his chair while looking winded. All while Steven is talking.
- Overly Long Gag: Whenever Jiminy struggles to start a sentence but can't formulate his thoughts and merely repeats "What..." over and over. Seen in the Damon Wayans and Nathan Lane interviews.
- Patriotic Fervor: In one episode, Jiminy is seen driving his truck, which has a giant American flag mounted on the passenger side door. Unfortunately for Jiminy, it's windy outside and the flag blows against his windshield, causing him to experience a car crash.
- Piss-Take Rap: Jiminy tries an amateur rap out on guest Ice Cube. Ice is embarrassmed by Jiminy's poor skills.Jiminy: (rapping) He's got a beard / Some say he's weird / But he's my kinda fella and that's true, / And every time he walks down the street, he says... / Uh... I wish I could eat some beef stew- (talking) I haven't worked out the ending.
- Portmanteau: Done by accident in his interview with Regis Philbin, where Jiminy unknowingly combines Kathie Lee and Kelly Ripa's names into "Kelly Lee".
- Potty Failure: In his interview with Steve Martin, Steve plugs adultdiapers.com. Jiminy asks if you can do a "stinky" in them and go out publicly. Steve is unsure, and Jiminy argues that's an important selling point.Jiminy: Can you do a stinky in them? Because if you can't, what's the point of them? Because anyone can just pee their pants; I did it five minutes ago. Never felt better, never felt freer. (Steve chuckles) But to do a stinky, in front of an Oscar, kind-of-considered actor through the years, wouldn't that be a mistake? And wouldn't I feel liberated by wearing an adult diaper? Adult diapers to be free to do a stinky.
Steve: (laughing) Oh Jiminy, Jiminy...
Jiminy: Well, it's my opinion.
- Praising Shows You Don't Watch: Invoked. Jiminy does this all the time. For instance, during the Damon Wayans interview, he thought Major Payne was a hilarious movie, even though he admitted all he saw of it was the poster. And in the Nathan Lane interview, he praises Matthew Broderick's work, but admits he hasn't seen anything he's done.
- And of course, the ultimate example: Giving "Growing Up Ghandi" a glowing review in The Movie, despite having slept through most of it.
- Precision F-Strike: See Sound Effect Bleep example below.
- Prequel: The Movie shows how Jiminy Glick got his start interviewing celebrities and moved away from interviewing small town people on a local Butte, Montana show.
- Prima Donna Director: Jiminy is this when he makes the made-for-TV movie supposedly based on his life. He annoys George Wendt (who plays Glick) so much with his constant scene interruptions that Wendt eventually chokes Glick while shouting, "Die, piglet, die!"
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: Many of Jiminy's shouted lines fall into this.
- Raging Stiffie: Jiminy gets one in The Movie while watching the lesbian take-off on The African Queen. He holds the popcorn tub over his crotch so his penis goes into the tub, and he asks Dixie to reach in for some popcorn.Dixie: I am not falling for that old parlor trick. Last time I reached in, it wasn't even in there.
Jiminy: It's in there, trust me. I've got the salt burns to prove it.
- Rule of Three: In The Movie, Dixie acting irrationally when Jiminy said he dreamed about being in bed with Miranda Coolidge. Made even funnier by the fact that Dixie apologies every time, then immediately repeats the same mistake.
- Running Gag: Jiminy yelling to Stacy (his assistant) that she got a fact wrong.
- Also Jiminy's rivalry with gossip columnist Liz Smith.
- Jiminy hitting his guests with a rolled up paper. Keep in mind he never does it out of anger.
- Single episode example: During the Janeane Garofalo interview, Jiminy keeps asking her age (at the time, it was 36) and is surprised each time, like it's the first time he's heard it.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Conan O'Brien walked out after he got annoyed with Jiminy taking a cell phone call in the middle of the interview.
- Significant Birth Date: Jiminy frequently tells his guests that they share a birthday with someone else that's famous.
- During the Janeane Garofalo interview, Jiminy seems to think there's something significant about Janeane being (at the time) the same age as Marilyn Monroe when she was found dead, in the nude.
- Smoking Hot Sex: Played with in the movie; Dixie actually smokes DURING sex. She seems relatively bored, too.
- Sound Effect Bleep: After Jiminy finishes interviewing Mel Brooks, Mel remarks: "This is the craziest (fuck)ing interview I've ever done in my life."
- Special Guest: Besides the scheduled guests, occasionally there would be surprise guests, such as Bob Hope (played by Dave Thomas).
- Spell My Name with an "S": Julia Louis-Dreyfus mentions that her last name is spelled with one "S", while Richard Dreyfuss's last name is spelled with two "S"s, in order to correct Jiminy's mistake that the two are married.
- Strictly Formula: Act one was always Jiminy delivering his monologue to the crowd. Act two was with his first guest in the studio. Act three was "Out and About With Jiminy Glick", which was another interview, only in a hotel room or other locale. Occasionally the formula was different (such as the Regis Philbin episode, where the "Out and About" interview occurred in act two), but for the most part it was broken down the same way for each episode.
- The Talk: Jiminy has to give his sons Matthew and Modine the sex talk in The Movie. Matthew and Modine are both 13, and Jiminy's annoyed that they still don't know where babies come from.
- Tan Lines: Adrian van Voorhees always has a tan.
- Teeny Weenie: When interviewing Ben Stiller, Jiminy told an anecdote about how he accidentally got his penis stuck in his zipper (similar to what happened in There's Something About Mary), but he left it out because he didn't want to be late for the movie Victor/Victoria. When gossip columnist Liz Smith saw his penis hanging out, she said it looked like a "shih tzu".
- In The Movie, when Dixie refuses to go along with his "penis in the popcorn bag" gag, she says that the last time she fell for it, she couldn't even find it in the bag.
- That Liar Lies: Jiminy has occasionally called his guests liars:
Jiminy: Do you still talk to them [the rest of the Seinfeld cast]?
- When interviewing Jerry Seinfeld:
Jerry: Oh sure, I talk to them all the time.
Jiminy: Oh! sure. Your voice went, "OH! sure'', like it was a lie.
- And when he interviewed Billy Crystal, he asked him if he was one of those "Hollywood liars".
- Toilet Humour: Jiminy's rant about being able to do a "stinky" in adult diapers during his Steve Martin interview.
- Tongue-Tied: Done deliberately by Martin Short for comedic effect.
- Too Much Information: Anytime Jiminy openly discusses his sex life with a guest.
- Unresolved Sexual Tension: In his interview with Regis Philbin, Jiminy asked Regis if he had any sexual tension with his co-host Kathie Lee. Regis assured him that they only did the show and then went their separate ways.
- Waking Non Sequitur: Irving Cohen had a habit of doing this after being revived from passing out.
- We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties: Turns up at the end of one "Lalawood Fables" segment, just as Jiminy goes into detail about the scandal that ruined Fatty Arbuckle's career. When it cuts back to the show, the kids' parents can be seen leading the kids out of the room, obviously disgusted by what Jiminy was telling them about.
- You Have to Have Jews: Referenced in The Movie:Glick: You're one of the few Jews who's really made it in the business.
Steve Martin: Well actually, I'm not Jewish.
Glick: But you KNOW Jewish people.
Steve Martin: Yes, I do.
Glick: And you've used those connections; I can't imagine you wouldn't.
Steve Martin: (chuckles) Well, what are you saying? You're, uh...
Glick: I think it's, I think it's necessary to use any ethnic group. If I had an agent who was a Muslim... I'd use him.
Steve Martin: Well you're... you're coming off really really well.