"You're an overweight, frustrated, unsuccessful, stammering, stuttering, sweating, y'know, completely out of your element individual."
— Jerry Seinfeld, to Jiminy Glick
Primetime Glick was a comedy series that aired on Comedy Central from 2001 to 2003. It starred Martin Short (in a fat suit and convincing facial make-up) as clueless interviewer Jiminy Glick, who would fawn over celebrities, despite knowing next to nothing about them (and frequently getting facts about them wrong). He also had a penchant for unknowingly insulting whoever he talked to. Jiminy was joined by his bandleader, Adrian Van Voorhees (Michael McKean), who took the brunt of his abuse. An elderly, cranky woman named Miss Gathercole (also played by Short) appeared in the studio audience of every show and often shouted complaints at Glick.
In-between the interviews were "Jiminy's Home Movies" (featuring Jan Hooks as Dixie, his chain-smoking, drinking, pill-dependent wife), "Lalawood Fables" (marionette reenactments of grisly Hollywood murders and other scandals), and fake commercials and trailers. Some arguably verged on being tasteless (Jiminy pretending to be an Asian stereotype at Bob Jones University) or not being as funny due to recent events (the Tom Green/Osama Bin Laden sketch being a prime example- keep in mind it was filmed only a few months before 9/11), but there were plenty of hilarious ones like the film parody "An American Pope" (featuring Martin Short as Tommy Lee Jones!) and Adrian's "Harp Accompaniment For Your Sensual Massage" CD, among others.
Much of the humor simply came from how bizarre Glick was. He would randomly lower and raise his vocal pitch, frequently stuff his face (to the point where he couldn't talk) while talking to the bewildered guest, fidget uncomfortably in his chair and fall over, and make out-of-nowhere non sequiturs. For instance, one time while interviewing Rob Lowe and asking why he doesn't have a Southern accent despite being from the south, Glick went into a string about Sinatra's ex-wives and ended by asking Lowe what his opinion was on Barbara Sinatra. Being that the interviews were improvised, many crazy moments could occur between Glick and the guests.
It ran for 30 episodes. Sadly, only five episodes from Season 1 and The Movie Jiminy Glick in Lalawood are out on DVD.
Primetime Glick contains examples of:
- Accidental Misnaming: In the interview with Ice Cube, Jiminy keeps unknowingly calling him Vanilla Ice.
- Alliterative Name: Jiminy's four sons are named Morgan, Mason, Matthew, and Modine.
- All Musicals Are Adaptations / Title: The Adaptation: Spoofed — Jiminy tries to open one episode with a number from Apollo 13 — The Musical; naturally it goes wrong.
- Additionally, in the very first episode, Jiminy performs a song from the musical version of Twister, called "She's A-Blowin'".
- Anti-Role Model: At the end of one episode, Jiminy told the audience that if they're planning on drinking and driving, to gun it so they'll be off the road by the time he gets done with the show.
- Bait-and-Switch: When interviewing Jerry Seinfeld, Jiminy says he loved Jerry on that wonderful show... by the name of Benson.
- The Beard: Guest Bill Maher assumed that Dixie was Jiminy's beard and that he was actually gay. Jiminy's retort:Jiminy: Isn't that interesting, coming from a forty-four year-old bachelor??
- Berserk Button: Jiminy chews out Edie Falco merely for interrupting him. Once.Glick: SSSSSHHHH. I have more questions.
Falco: Sorry. (long pause as Glick angrily stares at her)
Glick: If you keep interrupting me, while I'm trying to interview, how can I possibly double task? I can't double task! You expect too much from me, girl! (another long pause) I don't mean to get heavy, and I know you're my guest, but that's wrong. And I want you to talk to your psychic or your shrink, or to your God, God forbid you should go to church, and question why you would interrupt me! Thank you very much. - Big Eater: And big choker, too.
- Biopic: In-universe example: Jiminy had a made-for-TV movie about his courtship with Dixie. George Wendt played Jiminy Glick. However, during the interview with Wendt, Jiminy admits that the vast majority of his so-called biopic is "just a lot of lies".
- Blatant Lies: As mentioned in Biopic, the vast majority of Jiminy's biopic is outright falsities to add drama to the film.
- Broken Record: In The Movie, while interviewing Ben DiCarlo, Jiminy remarks that Ben's made so many wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... (Ben taps Jiminy's arm) films.
- Brutal Honesty: A trademark of Jiminy's.Adrian: Looking forward to our next guest (Brad Garrett). I'm a big fan.
Jiminy: Isn't that funny, I'm not. And I'm not sure why, but whenever I see him, there's a sense of despair that overtakes me. - But I Digress: Happens quite frequently in Jiminy's interviews.
- Butt-Monkey: Adrian Van Voorhees.
- Eugene Levy comes across as this during his interview; not only does Jiminy repeatedly insult him and his home country of Canada, but his interview is interrupted by Bob HopeNote crashing the studio and Jiminy more interested in interviewing him.
- Captain Obvious: Played for laughs. In his interview with Rob Lowe, Jiminy confirms that Lowe plays a speechwriter for the president. Jiminy adds: "But not for the real president; this is for a fictitious president?" Lowe just smiles while the audience laughs.
- In his interview with Lorraine Bracco, he compliments her beauty and voice: "The combination is just to make you melt. Any heterosexual will tell you!... The gay boys won't."
- The Casanova: Guest Alec Baldwin was portrayed as this in his interview, admitting that only one woman ever turned down his sexual advances.
- Catchphrase: Jiminy loves to say "Wonderful!", often numerous times in succession. Adrian opens each show with:Adrian: I'm Adrian Van Voorhees, and am I the only one who needs a Glick fix?
Audience: No! We do!
Adrian: Damn straight! Ladies and gentlemen, Jiminy Glick! - Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Jiminy Glick, obviously. He has the weirdest trains of thought.
- Comically Small Bribe: When Jiminy bribes the two cameramen and sound guy for when he goes upstairs to have sex with Lorraine Bracco, he only gives them $14 divided between the three of them.
- Curse Cut Short: The old producer of the show, Irving Cohen, delivers one during a vaudeville number:Irving Cohen: So buy yourself a condom, they're two for a buck / So you don't get her pregnant when you're ready to- babababa! (has heart attack)
- Dysfunctional Family: And how. It's a miracle Jiminy and Dixie are still together, given how irritated Dixie seems to get with Jiminy.
- Every Episode Ending: Jiminy in the steam room with one of the guests from the episode.
- Everything Sounds Sexier in French: Jiminy is smitten with guest Lorraine Bracco because she speaks some French to him.
- Fat Suit
- Funny Background Event /
Throw It In!: In certain "Out and About" interviews, you can hear the crew members laughing in the background. - Groin Attack: One of the kids hits Jiminy in the crotch during one of the "Lalawood Fables" sketches.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: In his interview with Billy Crystal, Jiminy said "Two heteros like us."
- Healing Hands: In the interview with Steven Spielberg, Jiminy was winded from getting candy while Steven was talking. While breathing heavily, Steven put his index finger on Jiminy's cheek, and a bemused Jiminy asked: "What are ya gonna do with that?" Steven replied, "I'm gonna do E.T.. (scratchy voice) I'll be right here. (finger glows as he touches Jiminy's face)Jiminy: (instantly happy) Ohhh... thank you, Steven! Steven Spielberg: The man, of magic.
- Hilarious Outtakes: The TV series didn't have any, but the movie featured a couple minutes of outtakes before the credits. Among the highlights were Jiminy calling Steve Martin gay for being a cheerleader in high school and making Kurt Russell laugh uncontrollably.
- Hostility on the Set: Invoked in a couple episodes- in the Jay Mohr/Rosie O'Donnell episode, Jiminy chews out Adrian in front of the audience for supposedly interrupting him, and in the Jeff Goldblum episode, Adrian rages at the band.Adrian: Unbelievable. Working with the worst fucking high school band in the world. I'm sick of carryin you assholes! I don't need this, you know! I've got a house in Palos Verdes I can sit on my ass the rest of my life! (to a band member) And YOU! Thirty years, nothing has changed! You're still playing the same bad notes! Clams! That's all I ever get from you, is clams!
Jiminy: Adrian, please, show some restraint.
Adrian: I'm sorry, Jiminy, but I cannot abide unprofessionalism. - Immediate Self-Contradiction: In The Movie:Jiminy: Let's talk about communists.
Steve Martin: In Hollywood?
Jiminy: In Hollywood. Are they still "pulling the strings"? You read this, that they're pulling the strings. How does Steve Martin feel about such things that I just said?
Steve Martin: There's a lot of communism in Hollywood, a lot of people are communists.
Jiminy: No! To this day?
Steve Martin: Yes, a lot of-
Jiminy: Operating the studios?
Steve Martin: Yes they are.
Jiminy: Running the town?
Steve Martin: But I would never, uh, y'know, name names.
Jiminy: You wouldn't name names?
Steve Martin: No, I would not name names.
Jiminy: Like if I said Meg Ryan-
Steve Martin: Communist. Yeah. - Incredibly Lame Pun: In a deleted scene of his interview with Conan O'Brien, Jiminy made a bad pun while performing some improv with Conan: "I hope that there's tartar sauce, or this chicken ain't gonna fly!"
- Instant Soprano: After Jiminy gets kneed in the groin at the end of Lalawood Fables, he has this:Jiminy: (high voice) Go to the interview! Go to the next interview!
- Instrumental Theme Tune: Aside from a female chorus singing "I gotta have a Glick fix, ooh I need a Glick fix...", the theme is a rock instrumental.
- Is This Thing Still On?: In-universe example: Subverted; Jiminy often assumes certain celebrities such as Ernie Kovacs and George C. Scott are still alive. He's surprised when told by guests that they've passed away a long time ago.
- Jerkass: Jiminy Glick, though he's often unaware of it and is actually surprised to be called out on it.
- Kryptonite Factor: In outtakes of The Movie, Jiminy says his kryptonite is cheese parmesan and asks Steve Martin what's his. He just laughs.
- Lampshaded Double Entendre: In the movie, Jiminy is pulled away from sex with Dixie by his talent agent. After their conversation, Jiminy says:Jiminy: I have to go take care of some unfinished business, if'n you know what I mean.
- Large Ham: Like you need to ask who.
- Late to the Punchline: When intervieing Nathan Lane, Jiminy mentioned his sons: Morgan, Mason, Matthew, and Modine:Nathan: The four Ms.
Jiminy: (excited) "The four Ms"!........ (gets it) oh, that's right. - Leave the Camera Running: At the end of the John Salley interview, Jiminy cuts to commercial. Instead of fading out, the camera stays on the two after the audience applause dies down, and the two have virtually nothing to say to each other. The most Jiminy can ask is if John likes Jujyfruits. Then to break the awkward silence, he runs off to get some.
- Long List: One episode promises to feature all the Baldwin brothers, and there's enough time for two cutaways to Glick getting ready to go onstage before Adrian finishes reading the list (which includes such lesser-known Baldwins as Shlomo and Baldy).
- Mad at a Dream: In The Movie, Dixie is upset at Jiminy for dreaming about having an affair. She slaps him twice and then throws something at him the third time.Jiminy: IN THE DREAM!!!
- Malaproper: Janeane Garofalo keeps confusing the word "depository" with "suppository" in her interview, which Jiminy ran with.
- Mean Character, Nice Actor: Discussed during Billy Crystal's interview: Jiminy assumed Robert De Niro bullies people on the set because he plays such a convincing tough guy in some of his films. Crystal had to correct him.
- Mistaken for Gay: Jiminy asks Billy Crystal if he's gay simply because he played a gay character on Soap.Jiminy: You sure? You never even thought about it?
- Mistaken for Racist: Jiminy pleads his case to the audience after his aforementioned Asian stereotyping at Bob Jones University.
- Mood Whiplash: Played for Laughs in the John McEnroe interview. The majority of the interview is Jiminy and John getting along, until it all suddenly goes south in the last 30 seconds.John: Next time, you'll promise, right? Next time, you'll promise, will you ask me some nice questions next time? Some better questions?
Jiminy: You're telling me I didn't ask you nice questions?
John: They were out.
Jiminy: They were perfectly on the line! You have GOT to be kidding me!
John: C'mere and kiss my ass!
Jiminy: I don't want to kiss your ass unless there's money involved!
John: Give me a break.
Jiminy: Give me a break! (pointing at him) You stop it, and you hear me out. You hear me when I speak to you. You stink!
John: I'm outta here. (gets up)
Jiminy: Oh, you're outta here? How about you were outta here before you sat down!
John: Thanks, man.
Jiminy: "Man", oh suddenly we're in a beatnik movie. - Motifs: David Lynch in The Movie repeatedly says he likes his movies to feature a "dark road".
- The Movie: Jiminy Glick in Lalawood. It wasn't well received.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Naturally, since Martin Short plays most of them, with heavy make-up. Among the actors he's impersonated are Tommy Lee Jones, Conan O'Brien, Tom Green, Al Pacino, and (perhaps his best one) David Lynch in the movie.
- Miss Gathercole's look and speech mannerisms were patterned after Bette Davis.
- No Indoor Voice: Referenced in the Nathan Lane interview.Jiminy: You don't really project; that's not your thing, is it so much?
Nathan: Well in the theater it is, but we're in a hotel room now, so you can actually lower your voice.
Jiminy: I could, but I won't! HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!!!!
Nathan: (touching his ear in pain) Yeah... - Not Listening to Me, Are You?: Played with in the Steven Spielberg interview. Jiminy asks Steven what his secret to success is, and Steven gives a long answer about how he's been influenced by the great directors and movies of the past. Jiminy is bored within seconds of asking the question and after slouching in his chair, he goes to a nearby table and stuffs snacks in his mouth, then crawls back into his chair while looking winded. All while Steven is talking.
- N-Word Privileges: In the Ice Cube interview, he said he belonged to a rap group called Music/NWA, and spelled it out for Jiminy: "It meant "Niggaz Wit Attitudes"." Jiminy was shocked by the language: ""Attitude" is a word we don't use anymore!"
- Overly Long Gag: Whenever Jiminy struggles to start a sentence but can't formulate his thoughts and merely repeats "What..." over and over. Seen in the Damon Wayans and Nathan Lane interviews.
- Patriotic Fervor: In one episode, Jiminy is seen driving his truck, which has a giant American flag mounted on the passenger side door. Unfortunately for Jiminy, it's windy outside and the flag blows against his windshield, causing him to experience a car crash.
- Piss-Take Rap: Jiminy tries an amateur rap out on guest Ice Cube. Ice is embarrassmed by Jiminy's poor skills.Jiminy: (rapping) He's got a beard / Some say he's weird / But he's my kinda fella and that's true, / And every time he walks down the street, he says... / Uh... I wish I could eat some beef stew- (talking) I haven't worked out the ending.
- Portmanteau: Done by accident in his interview with Regis Philbin, where Jiminy unknowingly combines Kathie Lee and Kelly Ripa's names into "Kelly Lee".
- Potty Emergency: When Jiminy concluded his interview with Steve Martin, where the two discussed adult diapers, he told Steve, "I've gotta go, because all this talk of what we were talking about before... mmm..."
- Potty Failure: In his interview with Steve Martin, Steve plugs adultdiapers.com. Jiminy asks if you can do a "stinky" in them and go out publicly. Steve is unsure, and Jiminy argues that's an important selling point.Jiminy: Can you do a stinky in them? Because if you can't, what's the point of them? Because anyone can just pee their pants; I did it five minutes ago. Never felt better, never felt freer. (Steve chuckles) But to do a stinky, in front of an Oscar, kind-of-considered actor through the years, wouldn't that be a mistake? And wouldn't I feel liberated by wearing an adult diaper? Adult diapers to be free to do a stinky.
Steve: (laughing) Oh Jiminy, Jiminy...
Jiminy: Well, it's my opinion. - Praising Shows You Don't Watch: Invoked. Jiminy does this all the time. For instance, during the Damon Wayans interview, he thought Major Payne was a hilarious movie, even though he admitted all he saw of it was the poster. And in the Nathan Lane interview, he praises Matthew Broderick's work, but admits he hasn't seen anything he's done.
- And of course, the ultimate example: Giving "Growing Up Ghandi" a glowing review in The Movie, despite having slept through most of it.
- Precision F-Strike: See Sound-Effect Bleep example below.
- Prequel: The Movie shows how Jiminy Glick got his start interviewing celebrities and moved away from interviewing small town people on a local Butte, Montana show.
- Prima Donna Director: Jiminy is this when he makes the made-for-TV movie supposedly based on his life. He annoys George Wendt (who plays Glick) so much with his constant scene interruptions that Wendt eventually chokes Glick while shouting, "Die, piglet, die!"
- Pun-Based Title: "Harp Accompaniment For Your Sensual Massage" is full of them. Just one example: "As Long As She Kneads Me".
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: Many of Jiminy's shouted lines fall into this.
- Raging Stiffie: Jiminy gets one in The Movie while watching the lesbian take-off on The African Queen. He holds the popcorn tub over his crotch so his penis goes into the tub, and he asks Dixie to reach in for some popcorn.Dixie: I am not falling for that old parlor trick. Last time I reached in, it wasn't even in there.
Jiminy: It's in there, trust me. I've got the salt burns to prove it. - Rule of Three: In The Movie, Dixie acting irrationally when Jiminy said he dreamed about being in bed with Miranda Coolidge. Made even funnier by the fact that Dixie apologies every time, then immediately repeats the same mistake.
- Running Gag: Jiminy yelling to Stacy (his assistant) that she got a fact wrong.
- Also Jiminy's rivalry with gossip columnist Liz Smith.
- Jiminy hitting his guests with a rolled up paper. Keep in mind he never does it out of anger.
- Single episode example: During the Janeane Garofalo interview, Jiminy keeps asking her age (at the time, it was 36) and is surprised each time, like it's the first time he's heard it.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Conan O'Brien walked out after he got annoyed with Jiminy taking a cell phone call in the middle of the interview.
- Short-Runners: It only got thirty episodes, ten per season. That said, the Jiminy Glick character outlived the show itself, so it's something of an aversion as well.
- Shout-Out: Martin Short based his Tommy Lee Jones impression from An American Pope off his character in The Fugitive.
- Significant Birth Date: Jiminy frequently tells his guests that they share a birthday with someone else that's famous.
- During the Janeane Garofalo interview, Jiminy seems to think there's something significant about Janeane being (at the time) the same age as Marilyn Monroe when she was found dead, in the nude.
- Smoking Hot Sex: Played with in the movie; Dixie actually smokes DURING sex. She seems relatively bored, too.
- Sound-Effect Bleep: After Jiminy finishes interviewing Mel Brooks, Mel remarks: "This is the craziest (fuck)ing interview I've ever done in my life."
- In the Brad Garrett/Jon Stewart episode, before Brad's interview, Adrian hurt his neck earlier, so he's in a neck brace. After ending the transition song, he holds his neck and says, "Aw, son of a (bitch!) Mother(fucker!)"
- Special Guest: Besides the scheduled guests, occasionally there would be surprise guests, such as Bob Hope (played by Dave Thomas).
- Spell My Name With An S: Julia Louis-Dreyfus mentions that her last name is spelled with one "S", while Richard Dreyfuss's last name is spelled with two "S"s, in order to correct Jiminy's mistake that the two are married.
- Stop Motion: The animated film created by the rappers in The Movie (the one which Jiminy reviews while intoxicated) is done in Claymation style.
- Strictly Formula: Act one was always Jiminy delivering his monologue to the crowd. Act two was with his first guest in the studio. Act three was "Out and About With Jiminy Glick", which was another interview, only in a hotel room or other locale. Occasionally the formula was different (such as the Regis Philbin episode, where the "Out and About" interview occurred in act two), but for the most part it was broken down the same way for each episode.
- The Talk: Jiminy has to give his sons Matthew and Modine the sex talk in The Movie. Matthew and Modine are both 13, and Jiminy's annoyed that they still don't know where babies come from.
- Tan Lines: Adrian van Voorhees always has a tan.
- Teeny Weenie: When interviewing Ben Stiller, Jiminy told an anecdote about how he accidentally got his penis stuck in his zipper (similar to what happened in There's Something About Mary), but he left it out because he didn't want to be late for the movie Victor/Victoria. When gossip columnist Liz Smith saw his penis hanging out, she said it looked like a "shih tzu".
- In The Movie, when Dixie refuses to go along with his "penis in the popcorn bag" gag, she says that the last time she fell for it, she couldn't even find it in the bag.
- That Came Out Wrong: In The Movie, Kurt Russell discusses when he played Elvis Presley:Jiminy: I don't know if I'm right in this here, but it seems like if you meet someone, then you do 'em...
Kurt: (chuckles) I didn't meet him and do him.
Jiminy: No, but I mean, if you meet him-
Kurt: And PLAY him. - That Liar Lies: Jiminy has occasionally called his guests liars:
- When interviewing Jerry Seinfeld:
Jiminy: Do you still talk to them [the rest of the Seinfeld cast]?
Jerry: Oh sure, I talk to them all the time.
Jiminy: Oh! sure. Your voice went, "OH! sure'', like it was a lie.- And when he interviewed Billy Crystal, he asked him if he was one of those "Hollywood liars".
- The Titling: The Movie had Ozone II: The Reckoning.
- Toilet Humour: Jiminy's rant about being able to do a "stinky" in adult diapers during his Steve Martin interview.
- Tongue-Tied: Done deliberately by Martin Short for comedic effect.
- Too Much Information: Anytime Jiminy openly discusses his sex life with a guest.
- Miss Gathercole in one episode: "I am suffering from a yeast infection!"
- Undying Loyalty: George Wendt, who played Jiminy Glick in the In-Universe biopic, said that Jiminy was a great director and would follow him into the jaws of Hell. Subverted very quickly when Jiminy reveals that nearly all of the material in said biopic was phony.
- Ungrateful Bastard: In Rob Lowe's interview, Jiminy choked on a gumball as he's wont to do. Rob gave him the Heimlich maneuver and successfully "dislodged" it; he received no thank you and continued the interview as if nothing had happened.Jiminy: So, so you're on The West Wing...
- Unresolved Sexual Tension: In his interview with Regis Philbin, Jiminy asked Regis if he had any sexual tension with his co-host Kathie Lee. Regis assured him that they only did the show and then went their separate ways.
- Waking Non Sequitur: Irving Cohen had a habit of doing this after being revived from passing out.
- We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties: Turns up at the end of one "Lalawood Fables" segment, just as Jiminy goes into detail about the scandal that ruined Fatty Arbuckle's career. When it cuts back to the show, the kids' parents can be seen leading the kids out of the room, obviously disgusted by what Jiminy was telling them about.
- Who's on First?: When Jiminy interviewed George Wendt, he said, "Your name is like an Abbott and Costello routine: 'George Wendt.' 'Where?'".
