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"You're an overweight, frustrated, unsuccessful, stammering, stuttering, sweating, y'know, completely out of your element individual."
— Jerry Seinfeld, to Jiminy Glick
Primetime Glick was a comedy series that aired on Comedy Central from 2001 to 2003. It starred Martin Short (in a fat suit and convincing facial make-up) as clueless interviewer Jiminy Glick, who would fawn over celebrities, despite knowing next to nothing about them (and frequently getting facts about them wrong). He also had a penchant for unknowingly insulting whoever he talked to. Jiminy was joined by his bandleader, Adrian Van Voorhees (Michael McKean), who was often the blunt of his abuse. An elderly, cranky woman named Miss Gathercole (also played by Short) appeared in the studio audience of every show and often shouted complaints at Glick.In-between the interviews were "Jiminy's Home Movies" (featuring Jan Hooks as Dixie, his chain-smoking, drinking, pill-dependent wife), "Lalawood Fables" (marionette reenactments of grisly Hollywood murders and other scandals), and fake commercials and trailers. Some arguably verged on being tasteless (Jiminy pretending to be an Asian stereotype at Bob Jones University) or not being as funny due to recent events (the Tom Green/Osama Bin Laden sketch being a prime example- keep in mind it was filmed only a few months before 9/11), but there were plenty of hilarious ones like the film parody "An American Pope" (featuring Martin Short as Tommy Lee Jones!) and Adrian's "Harp Accompaniment For Your Sensual Massage" CD, among others.Much of the humor simply came from how bizarre Glick was. He would randomly lower and raise his vocal pitch, frequently stuff his face (to the point where he couldn't talk) while talking to the bewildered guest, fidget uncomfortably in his chair and fall over, and make out-of-nowhere non sequiturs. For instance, one time while interviewing Rob Lowe and asking why he doesn't have a Southern accent despite being from the south, Glick went into a string about Sinatra's ex-wives and ended by asking Lowe what his opinion was on Barbara Sinatra. Being that the interviews were improvised, many crazy moments could occur between Glick and the guests.It ran for 30 episodes. Sadly, only five episodes from Season 1 and The MovieJiminy Glick in Lalawood are out on DVD.
Actor Allusion: Played with in the Chevy Chase interview; Jiminy asked what Chase's favorite movie to make was, and he replied íThree Amigos!. When Jiminy asked why, Chase said it was because he was in it with one really funny actor. Jiminy asked: "Steve Martin?" And Chase quickly replied, "Yes." As if to insinuate that Martin Short wasn't very funny.
Additionally, in the very first episode, Jiminy performs a song from the musical version of Twister, called "She's A-Blowin'".
Anti-Role Model: At the end of one episode, Jiminy told the audience that if they're planning on drinking and driving, to gun it so they'll be off the road by the time he gets done with the show.
The Beard: Guest Bill Maher assumed that Dixie was Jiminy's beard and that he was actually gay. Jiminy's retort:
Jiminy: Isn't that interesting, coming from a forty-four year-old bachelor??
Berserk Button: Jiminy chews out Edie Falco merely for interrupting him. Once.
Glick: SSSSSHHHH. I have more questions.
Falco: Sorry. (long pause as Glick angrily stares at her)
Glick: If you keep interrupting me, while I'm trying to interview, how can I possibly double task? I can't double task! You expect too much from me, girl! (another long pause) I don't mean to get heavy, and I know you're my guest, but that's wrong. And I want you to talk to your psychic or your shrink, or to your God, God forbid you should go to church, and question why you would interrupt me! Thank you very much.
Biopic: In-universe example: Jiminy had a made-for-TV movie about his courtship with Dixie. George Wendt played Jiminy Glick. However, during the interview with Wendt, Jiminy admits that the vast majority of his so-called biopic is "just a lot of lies".
Blatant Lies: As mentioned in Biopic, the vast majority of Jiminy's biopic is outright falsities to add drama to the film.
Broken Record: In The Movie, while interviewing Ben DiCarlo, Jiminy remarks that Ben's made so many wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... (Ben taps Jiminy's arm) films.
Buddhism: Jiminy and Dixie are apparently Buddhists. However, they also exchange Hanukkah gifts for some reason.
Canada, Eh?: During the Eugene Levy interview, Jiminy makes tons of stereotypes about Canada, which Levy has to refute.
Captain Obvious: Played for laughs. In his interview with Rob Lowe, Jiminy confirms that Lowe plays a speechwriter for the president. Jiminy adds: "But not for the real president; this is for a fictitious president?" Lowe just smiles while the audience laughs.
In his interview with Lorraine Bracco, he compliments her beauty and voice: "The combination is just to make you melt. Any heterosexual will tell you!... The gay boys won't."
The Casanova: Guest Alec Baldwin was portrayed as this in his interview, admitting that only one woman ever turned down his sexual advances.
Catch Phrase: Jiminy loves to say "Wonderful!", often numerous times in succession. Adrian opens each show with:
Adrian: I'm Adrian Van Voorhees, and am I the only one who needs a Glick fix?
Audience: No! We do!
Adrian: Damn straight! Ladies and gentlemen, Jiminy Glick!
Corpsing: In a "Jiminy's Home Movies" where Jiminy worked with a personal trainer at the gym, Jiminy said something that made Jan Hooks (who played Dixie) laugh, but Dixie was supposed to be upset in that moment. By happy coincidence, Hooks put her hands over her face to make it look like her character Dixie was crying instead of covering her laughing face.
Curse Cut Short: The old producer of the show, Irving Cohen, delivers one during a vaudeville number:
Irving Cohen: So buy yourself a condom, they're two for a buck / So you don't get her pregnant when you're ready to- babababa! (has heart attack)
Dysfunctional Family: And how. It's a miracle Jiminy and Dixie are still together, given how irritated Dixie seems to get with Jiminy.
Hilarious Outtakes: The TV series didn't have any, but the movie featured a couple minutes of outtakes before the credits. Among the highlights were Jiminy calling Steve Martin gay for being a cheerleader in high school and making Kurt Russell laugh uncontrollably.
Incredibly Lame Pun: In a deleted scene of his interview with Conan O'Brien, Jiminy made a bad pun while performing some improv with Conan: "I hope that there's tartar sauce, or this chicken ain't gonna fly!"
Instrumental Theme Tune: Aside from a female chorus singing "I gotta have a Glick fix, ooh I need a Glick fix...", the theme is a rock instrumental.
Is This Thing Still On?: In-universe example: Subverted; Jiminy often assumes certain celebrities such as Ernie Kovacs and George C. Scott are still alive. He's surprised when told by guests that they've passed away a long time ago.
Leave the Camera Running: At the end of the John Salley interview, Jiminy cuts to commercial. Instead of fading out, the camera stays on the two after the audience applause dies down, and the two have virtually nothing to say to each other. The most Jiminy can ask is if John likes Jujyfruits. Then to break the awkward silence, he runs off to get some.
Long List: One episode promises to feature all the Baldwin brothers, and there's enough time for two cutaways to Glick getting ready to go onstage before Adrian finishes reading the list (which includes such lesser-known Baldwins as Shlomo and Baldy).
Mistaken for Racist: Jiminy pleads his case to the audience after his aforementioned Asian stereotyping at Bob Jones University.
The Movie: Jiminy Glick in Lalawood. It wasn't well received.
No Celebrities Were Harmed: Naturally, since Martin Short plays most of them, with heavy make-up. Among the actors he's impersonated are Tommy Lee Jones, Conan O'Brien, Tom Green, Al Pacino, and (perhaps his best one) David Lynch in the movie.
Jiminy: You don't really project; that's not your thing, is it so much? Nathan: Well in the theater it is, but we're in a hotel room now, so you can actually lower your voice. Jiminy: I could, but I won't! HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA!!!! Nathan: (touching his ear in pain) Yeah...
Overly Long Gag: Whenever Jiminy struggles to start a sentence but can't formulate his thoughts and merely repeats "What..." over and over. Seen in the Damon Wayans and Nathan Lane interviews.
Patriotic Fervor: In one episode, Jiminy is seen driving his truck, which has a giant American flag mounted on the passenger side door. Unfortunately for Jiminy, it's windy outside and the flag blows against his windshield, causing him to experience a car crash.
Piss-Take Rap: Jiminy tries an amateur rap out on guest Ice Cube. Ice is embarrassmed by Jiminy's poor skills.
Jiminy: (rapping) He's got a beard / Some say he's weird / But he's my kinda fella and that's true, / And every time he walks down the street, he says... / Uh... I wish I could eat some beef stew- (talking) I haven't worked out the ending.
Portmanteau: Done by accident in his interview with Regis Philbin, where Jiminy unknowingly combines Kathie Lee and Kelly Ripa's names into "Kelly Lee".
Potty Failure: In his interview with Steve Martin, Steve plugs adultdiapers.com. Jiminy asks if you can do a "stinky" in them and go out publicly. Steve is unsure, and Jiminy argues that's an important selling point.
Jiminy: Can you do a stinky in them? Because if you can't, what's the point of them? Because anyone can just pee their pants; I did it five minutes ago. Never felt better, never felt freer. (Steve chuckles) But to do a stinky, in front of an Oscar, kind-of-considered actor through the years, wouldn't that be a mistake? And wouldn't I feel liberated by wearing an adult diaper? Adult diapers to be free to do a stinky. Steve: (laughing) Oh Jiminy, Jiminy... Jiminy: Well, it's my opinion.
Praising Shows You Don't Watch: Invoked. Jiminy does this all the time. For instance, during the Damon Wayans interview, he thought Major Payne was a hilarious movie, even though he admitted all he saw of it was the poster. And in the Nathan Lane interview, he praises Matthew Broderick's work, but admits he hasn't seen anything he's done.
And of course, the ultimate example: Giving "Growing Up Ghandi" a glowing review in The Movie, despite having slept through most of it.
Prequel: The Movie shows how Jiminy Glick got his start interviewing celebrities and moved away from interviewing small town people on a local Butte, Montana show.
Prima Donna Director: Jiminy is this when he makes the made-for-TV movie supposedly based on his life. He annoys George Wendt (who plays Glick) so much with his constant scene interruptions that Wendt eventually chokes Glick while shouting, "Die, piglet, die!"
Raging Stiffie: Jiminy gets one in The Movie while watching the lesbian take-off on The African Queen. He holds the popcorn tub over his crotch so his penis goes into the tub, and he asks Dixie to reach in for some popcorn.
Dixie: I am not falling for that old parlor trick. Last time I reached in, it wasn't even in there. Jiminy: It's in there, trust me. I've got the salt burns to prove it.
Rule of Three: In The Movie, Dixie acting irrationally when Jiminy said he dreamed about being in bed with Miranda Coolidge. Made even funnier by the fact that Dixie apologies every time, then immediately repeats the same mistake.
Running Gag: Jiminy yelling to Stacy (his assistant) that she got a fact wrong.
Also Jiminy's rivalry with gossip columnist Liz Smith.
Jiminy hitting his guests with a rolled up paper. Keep in mind he never does it out of anger.
Single episode example: During the Janeane Garofalo interview, Jiminy keeps asking her age (at the time, it was 36) and is surprised each time, like it's the first time he's heard it.
Significant Birth Date: Jiminy frequently tells his guests that they share a birthday with someone else that's famous.
During the Janeane Garofalo interview, Jiminy seems to think there's something significant about Janeane being (at the time) the same age as Marilyn Monroe when she was found dead, in the nude.
Smoking Hot Sex: Played with in the movie; Dixie actually smokes DURING sex. She seems relatively bored, too.
Sound Effect Bleep: After Jiminy finishes interviewing Mel Brooks, Mel remarks: "This is the craziest (fuck)ing interview I've ever done in my life."
Special Guest: Besides the scheduled guests, occasionally there would be surprise guests, such as Bob Hope (played by Dave Thomas).
Spell My Name with an "S": Julia Louis-Dreyfus mentions that her last name is spelled with one "S", while Richard Dreyfuss's last name is spelled with two "S"s, in order to correct Jiminy's mistake that the two are married.
Strictly Formula: Act one was always Jiminy delivering his monologue to the crowd. Act two was with his first guest in the studio. Act three was "Out and About With Jiminy Glick", which was another interview, only in a hotel room or other locale. Occasionally the formula was different (such as the Regis Philbin episode, where the "Out and About" interview occurred in act two), but for the most part it was broken down the same way for each episode.
The Talk: Jiminy has to give his sons Matthew and Modine the sex talk in The Movie. Matthew and Modine are both 13, and Jiminy's annoyed that they still don't know where babies come from.
Unresolved Sexual Tension: In his interview with Regis Philbin, Jiminy asked Regis if he had any sexual tension with his co-host Kathie Lee. Regis assured him that they only did the show and then went their separate ways.
Waking Non Sequitur: Irving Cohen had a habit of doing this after being revived from passing out.
We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties: Turns up at the end of one "Lalawood Fables" segment, just as Jiminy goes into detail about the scandal that ruined Fatty Arbuckle's career. When it cuts back to the show, the kids' parents can be seen leading the kids out of the room, obviously disgusted by what Jiminy was telling them about.
Glick: You're one of the few Jews who's really made it in the business. Steve Martin: Well actually, I'm not Jewish. Glick: But you KNOW Jewish people. Steve Martin: Yes, I do. Glick: And you've used those connections; I can't imagine you wouldn't. Steve Martin: (chuckles) Well, what are you saying? You're, uh... Glick: I think it's, I think it's necessary to use any ethnic group. If I had an agent who was a Muslim... I'd use him. Steve Martin: Well you're... you're coming off really really well.