Quotes: Insult Backfire

"I like the idea of a 'professional troll' though, it gives the impression of a hideous creature living under a bridge and handing out business cards."
Yahtzee answering letters, "Mailbag Showdown"

Gunter: As bad as I have been in my life, Eva, you are worse, because you pretend to be respectable. I am through calling you "Bitch." This is not good enough.
Comm. Braden: How 'bout harpy?
Gunter: Nyeh.
Comm. Braden: Shrew?
Gunter: Meh.
Comm. Braden: Succubus?♥
Gunter: Yes! Succubus. This implies witchcraft and the snatching of souls. You succubus.

The Joker: How's the boy wonder? Started shaving yet?
Batman: Filthy degenerate!
Joker: Flattery will get you nowhere.

Drizz'l: Only a fool would engage an enemy without knowing anything about him.
Fighter: Which explains exactly why I did it!
Thief: That was supposed to be taunt, wasn't it?
Black Mage: One can only assume.

Vanessa: You're not normal, Dad.
Heinz: Oh, why thank you Vanessa, you're so sweet! See what I did there? Even though I knew you meant it as an insult, I took it as a compliment. Maddening, isn't it?

Huang: Disorganized? I'm not your ally, you know. Don't treat me as one of your own kind.
Mao: (almost hissing) What?
Hei: (deadpan) Don't worry about it. We don't regard you as one of us. Contractors like us don't possess emotions that would make us tremble in fear like you. Fortunately enough.

Sakura: Sensei, ... you do realize that you're not exactly... normal, right?
Recca: You know, the customary response to a complement where I come from is to thank the person giving it.
Sakura: What?
Recca: Thanks.
Sakura: That wasn't supposed to be a compliment.
Recca: And yet it was anyway. The term 'normal' simply means 'typical' - that is, like the majority of the population. In this case, it would mean 'like everyone else'. Since you've never been outside Konoha, you lack a frame of reference to compare me to people from other places, which makes it 'like everyone else in Konoha'... and, as you may have gathered, I don't exactly have a high opinion of the vast majority of the people here. Accordingly, the meaning of your statement was that I was not like a group of people who I despise. By most standards, that is a complement.

Lady Marian: Why, you speak treason!
Sir Robin: Fluently.

Taco Bell patron: What would you say if I called you a brutish fossil, symbolic of a decayed era gratefully forgotten?
John Spartan: I don't know... thanks?

Lockon: Let me ask you one question. What do you want to achieve with Exia?
Setsuna: I'll eradicate war.
Lockon: You won't be able if I shoot you.
Setsuna: I don't mind. You could do instead of me. Change this twisted world in my place. But while I'm alive I'll keep fighting. Not as Soran Ibrahim... but as Celestial Being's Gundam Meister, Setsuna F. Seiei.
Lockon: Piloting a Gundam?
Setsuna: That's right. I am Gundam.
Lockon: (lowers gun) That's so crazy, I don't want to shoot you anymore! You really are an impossible Gundam nut!
Setsuna: (smiles) Thank you. That's a great compliment.
(Lockon cracks up)

Jon: You have many flaws, Garfield.
Garfield: Thank you!
Jon: One of them is thinking insults are compliments.
Garfield: You're too kind!

"Though I bet DoctorDoom would take some perverse pride in knowing that he's contributing to Texas's image as a backwater filled with psychotic gun-toting xenophobes and religious fanatics who think that everyone else is a limp-wristed pussy for not getting a raging hard-on at the thought of shooting people. I'm not even sure he would consider any part of that stereotype negative."

"New Rule: And this is for Scott Brown, repeated referring to your debate opponent as "Professor" is not a devastating zinger when she actually is a professor. It's like if Elizabeth Warren called you "a failed male model" because there's a picture of you hiding your entire penis behind your wrist."

Cabinet Member: You're Insane!!
The Master: *thumbs up*

John Scalzi:... after some random dudebro has attempted to insult me on the Internet by taking a photo of me in a dress that I've already posted on my own site and slapping the word "feminist" on it, all I have to go back to is a successful career, a loving family, a circle of amazing friends and talented peers, and a social system whose systematic biases favor me in nearly all cases as a well-off straight white man. Even when I put on a dress.
I mean, I know that's not much compared to the awesome power of a random Internet dudebro calling me a word I don't find in the least bit insulting, but it will have to suffice. Somehow.

Zexion: (following up a "The Reason You Suck" Speech) Everything you love will have my dick in it!
Namine: I love myself.
(cue awkward silence)

Shepard: You said they covered all this up. How did you hear about it?
Harkin: I've spent twenty years working cases here on the Citadel; people on this station love to talk. Secrets are like herpes: if you've got 'em, you might as well spread 'em around.
Shepard: You're a pig.
Harkin: Just noticed that now, did you?

Peaches: There's nothing bad about being part of my family. I like hanging by my tail, and if you geniuses are normal, the species is going to end up extinct! (leaves)
Steffie: Well, your species is gonna be extinct first!
Dumb Mammoth: Haha, burn!
Ethan: We're the same species, genius.
Dumb Mammoth
': What...double burn!
Ice Age: Continental Drift

Eridan: (in response to being told he has a small brain) You'll see [sic], a jellyfish has no thinkpan, and yet it knows exactly what to do, where to go, and how to fit the needs of its niche wonderfully. A perfect machine. Your insult means nothing to me, whale.

User: Man you are SO stupid - I hope you never have children you inconsiderate piece of trash! What woman would ever want to get in bed with you?!
User 2: Seeing as I am an uninterested asexual who happens to be infertile (Ergo making you ableist for saying that) then it seems you have your wish.
—A heated Tumblr exchange.

Alternate Cindy: You can't do that! It's... it's...
Hippolyte: It's Evil. Congratulations, little girl: you've just met your first supervillain.
Alternate George: Oh, coming from such a specialist as yourself, I'll take this as a compliment, thanks.

Alfred Bester: If I had my talent working, I could've warned you when he was coming.
Michael Garibaldi: And if I had a baseball bat, we could hang you from the ceiling and play piņata. I still think I should've gone right to G'Kar.
Bester: We have no evidence that he made the sale yet. Why annoy the Narn without cause or if we're wrong? Shut off the problem at the source, and the rest attends to itself. A piņata, huh? So you think of me as something bright and cheerful full of toys and candy for young children? Thank you. That makes me feel much better about our relationship.
(Garibaldi visibly struggles to keep a straight face in spite of himself.)

Sera: Dwarves are weird.
Varric: No argument here.
Sera: Argh, you're doing this wrong.

Princess Sally: You are a miserable creep, Robotnik.
Robotnik: Why thank you, princess!

Sorenson: Really, Kate? We're going to waste time on the insights of Nancy Drew here?
Castle: Is that supposed to be an insult? Because Nancy Drew solved every case...