Creator: Richard Jeni
"My mother never saw the irony of calling me a son of a bitch."
Richard Jeni (born Richard John Colangelo, April 14, 1957 — March 10, 2007) was an American stand-up comedian. He had three HBO specials (Platypus Man, A Good Catholic Boy, and A Big Steaming Pile of Me), two Showtime specials (Boy from New York City and Crazy from the Heat), a short-lived Platypus Man sitcom on UPN, and more appearances on The Tonight Show than any other comedian other than its hosts. He appeared in The Mask as Charlie Schumaker.
- Ambulance Chaser: The late-night TV lawyer with the big stack of legal books behind his head, Bernard Shapiro of the law firm of Dewey, Beatum, and Runn.
- Ate His Gun: Sadly did this the morning of March 10, 2007.
- Audience Participation Song: Got the audience to hum the National Geographic theme throughout Platypus Man.
- Brooklyn Rage: Born in Brooklyn.
- Brutal Honesty: He believed that somebody from his old neighborhood ought to have a late-night weight loss commercial with this angle: The Joey Falco Diet Plan, "Stop Eatin', You Fat Bastard!""Call now and I'll throw in my other tape: "Stop Smokin', you Stupid Bastard!"
- Call Back: Called back the hair-in-a-can spray at the end of the Bernard Shapiro bit.
- Dope Slap: "Mass," according to him, is short for "massive head trauma" because his mom would hit him every five minutes for trying to amuse himself in church.
- Driven to Suicide: Due to severe clinical depression.
- The Glasses Come Off: He wanted to wear glasses just so he could do this at dramatic moments and noted that you can't pull it off if you wear contact lenses instead.
- Idiot Plot: In his Jaws: The Revenge bit, he said that the movie slaps the audience in the face with its idiocy.
- I'm a Humanitarian: Extrapolating from improbable mishaps an airplane captain mentions during the pre-flight check:"In the unlikely event you survive impact and need to eat your fellow passengers for sustenance, may I suggest the fat guy in 17-J with a nice Chardonnay?"
- Infomercial: Being a stand-up comic, he watched a lot of them and made fun of them in his sets.
"'It's amazing, it's unbelievable!' And you're in front of the TV going, 'It's... paint, if I'm not mistaken.'"
- Mocking the concept of hair-in-a-can:
- The Law Firm of Pun, Pun, and Wordplay: Bernard Shapiro works for Dewey, Beatum, and Runn, according to his infomercial.
- Long List: He rattled off a list of illnesses and maladies that one of Bernard Shapiro's clients suffered, ending with "... and occasional lower back pain."
- Rambling Old Man Monologue: The viewer mail segment from the "Bill the Belching Gourmet" bit from Platypus Man consists of a single letter written in more or less this fashion.
- Sad Clown: Very much so.