Quotes / Fantastic Racism

"Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green."

"No, Diesel! I'm sure Sir Topham Hatt means a really useful steamie. You'll never be that!"

"Hmph. Threehorns never play with Longnecks!"

"Not bad. I've seen worse. At least you're all clean."
Diesel 261 to the steam engines, Thomas the Tank Engine

"I could never figure that," said Roger. "I mean why humans don't like toons. We're no different from humans, not really. We have different mannerisms, and different physical makeups, and a different way of talking, but we have the same emotions. We love and hate and laugh and cry exactly the same way humans do."

Nail: This is my people's sacred battle ground.
Freeza: We flew over an hour for this? It looks exactly the same as everywhere else on this godforsaken rock!
Nail: (annoyed grunt) Racist.
Freeza: Well, maybe so but, I can't quite be a racist against a race that doesn't exist. Like the Cloffours. Dirty money-grubbing Cloffours. Tried to Clof me right out of my money. Blew those little bastards up is what I did.

I'm a green slug man. No amount of affirmative action is going to get me a job.
Piccolo, Dragonball Abridged

Frogs are handsome, debonair and charming; while toads are ugly and give you warts.
Kermit The Frog, The Muppet Show

Parapsychics were treated in a manner similar to that members of socially unacceptable subgroups had been in a less enlightened time, with the fear of the different and of the unknown. The metaphor was imperfect, due to the fact that gays, for example, lacked the ability to set people on fire with their mind.

Gingerbread Man: You're a monster!
Lord Faarquad: I'm not the monster here, you are! You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world...

"Think of the people who would have thrown Einstein in an oven because his parents were nominally Jewish... Now imagine that everyone, everywhere, could instantly see and tell which primary tribal group or ancestral type you were. Because your people have four arms and are striped, and others have goatlike hindquarters, and others are hermaphroditic pastel-colored female shapes with tails, or half cat, or snake, or hairy ape, or so on. You see where I am going?"
Antonio, The Moreau Factor

Suffer not the alien, the mutant, the heretic.

"Everyone hates aliens Peri, It's a scientific fact."
Entree, Spliced

Bartender: We don't serve their kind here.
Luke: What?
Bartender: Your droids. They'll have to wait outside. They don't belong in here.
Narrator: Oh, so you'll serve devils, bat-heads, and ass-faced guys, but droids are off-limits.
RiffTrax parody of Star Wars: A New Hope

Shepard: Depends on the species, turian.

"You humans are all racist!"
Un-self-aware turian at a security checkpoint, Mass Effect 2

Shepard: You forgot your chit at Saronis Applications. The clerk is holding it for you.
Volus: Oh. Well... the quarian could've stolen it...
Cop: (to the quarian in question) I'll close this event report, but I'll be watching you. Get a permanent residence or I'll run you in for vagrancy.
Shepard: Are you two serious?
Volus: What?
Shepard: You falsely accused this girl of stealing from you. (gives the volus a none-too-gentle shove) All you have to say now is that she "could've stolen it"?
Volus: Now just a minute-!
Shepard: (grabs the officer by the collar) And you! She gets harassed and insulted by this guy and you throw in a threat to arrest her for vagrancy?!
Cop: How about if I run you in for obstruction of justice?!
Shepard: (contemptuously) You think you're going to run in a Spectre? I think both of you should get out of here...
Cop: Ah, son of a... (walks away)
— General treatment of the quarians in Mass Effect 2

I'm really proud that I'm pureblooded white-I mean, wizard! Hee hee hee hee.
Draco Malfoy, Potter Puppet Pals.

"Greetings, obviously inferior yet inexplicably respected alien lifeforms."
Shockwave, summing up the typical TransTech attitude towards "offworlders", "Bee in the City"

Doctor Fabulous: I fight a thousand of you alien scumbags a week! You're all the same to me!
Zorg the Destroyer: You know what? That's racist! You're a racist!

Commander Hurricane: Earth ponies are numbskulls!
Princess Platinum: Pegasi are brutes!
Chancellor Puddinghead: Unicorns are snobs!
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, "Hearth's Warming Eve"

"Don't play cards with Qunari—it's impossible to tell when they're bluffing. Don't play against elves, either—they never pay their debts. And never play against dwarves—they'll kill you if they lose."

Patrick: Yellow!
Spongebob: Pink!
—>— Spongebob Squarepants

Q: Isn't a meerkat a type of mongoose?
A: NO! This great insult! Mongoose not good enough to lick dropping from my shoe! I am meerkat and I live in mansion filthy mongoose could only dream about in wildest dreams.

Shrek: “Well, it seems that Fiona's not exactly happy.”
Fairy God Mother: “Oh-ho-ho! And there's some question as to why that is? Well, let's explore that, shall we?
(looks up these books) Princess. Cinderella. Here we are. ‘Lived happily ever after.’ Oh... (laughs) No ogres! Let's see. Snow White. A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres. Sleeping Beauty. Oh, no ogres! Hansel and Gretel? No! Thumbelina? No. The Golden Bird, the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman... No, no, no, no, no!
You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.”
Shrek: (points at her) “All right, look, lady!”
Fairy God Mother: “Don't you point, those dirty green sausages at me!”
Shrek 2

King Harold: An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original.
Queen Lillian: I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children.
(Shrek and King Harold almost choke on their spoons and food)
Shrek: It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it?
King Harold: Indeed. I just started eating.
Queen Lillian: Harold!
Shrek: What's that supposed to mean?
Fiona: Dad. It's great, OK?
King Harold: Well, for his type, yes.
Shrek: My type?
King Harold: I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be...
Shrek: Ogres, yes!
Queen Lillian: Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold?
King Harold: Oh, no! No! Of course, not! That is, assuming you don't eat your own young!
Shrek 2

"Gorillas are cowards! Nowadays you're not allowed to say it, but it's true!"

Ariel: He could have died.
King Triton: Then that's one less human to worry about!
Ariel: You don't even know him!
King Triton: KNOW HIM?!? I don't have to know him! They're all the same! Spineless, savage, harpooning fish-eaters, incapable of any feeling!
Ariel: Daddy I love him! (clasps hands over her mouth)
King Triton: Have you lost your senses completely!? He's a human, you're a mermaid!

Raine: Do you mean that Exspheres are made from...human bodies?
Kvar: Not exactly. Exspheres are dormant at first. They extract nourishment from humans to grow and awaken. Human ranches are Exsphere manufacturing plants. Why else would we spend our time raising and taking care of these inferior beings?

Chuck: Alright, good. So, after we've been staying there for a couple of weeks, we heard about a large number of Gijinkas immigrating to Hoenn recently, but because that Hoenn didn't have any native gijinka up until then, they were, um... having problems with getting integrated properly, to say the least...
Kris: ...Hmm?
Asagi: ...It's like if a bunch of aliens showed up on a planet where only humans have been living for the past millennia and decided, "Let's start colonizing".
Chuck: Yeah, what Asagi said, basically? And, um, some of the natives of Hoenn weren't very friendly or welcoming at all.
Kris: ...Oh...
Chuck: You see. There was a lot of gijinka-based hatred going on in Hoenn at that time. Garcie and Luca and Imca didn't have it very easy because of that either, despite not really being part of the group of immigrants.
Asagi: And the racism swung on both sides of the door.
Chuck: Eeyup. That definitely didn't help things either.
(Chuck looks upset.)
Kris: ...Why did they hate gijinkas...?
Asagi: Pokemon world. Pokemon Gijinkas. Irrational fear of the unknown. You do the math.
Chuck: And what's worse, upon seeing those pokemon people, many decided to focus more on the "pokemon" part than on the "people" part. They managed to get their hands on pokeballs specifically designed to catch gijinkas...

"Obviously, as Moorcock and Mievelle and many others show, it doesn't have to be like that, but when so much shit fantasy accepts turning foreigners into monsters and having your heroes slaughter the fuckers as a standard trope, it's problematic. As much as Tolkien's work lies right at the heart of me as a writer, I'm aware that if I was living in Middle Earth, I'd be an orc. I'd be working in one of those smelting pits until some elf decides to shoot me."

Chin up! Even if you're not adopted
It's not because you are unwanted
But it might help if you were magic
Not just a boring ugly pink earth pony who nopony will ever love because you're unworthy!

"It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, whether you're white, black, or Sasquatch, even. As long as you follow your dream, no matter how crazy or against the law it is... except for Sasquatch. If you're Sasquatch, the rules are different."

"It's because I'm green, isn't it?"

Couples of all genders, sizes, and sexual orientations are common. The cultural history of the Ninth World is so different from our own—from religious influences to the aftereffects of global conflicts— that nothing we know today about discrimination applies. (This isn’t to say that discrimination doesn’t exist. It does—but against different things and for different reasons.)
Numenera, supplement Love and Sex in the Ninth World

Interviewer: What do you think are the advantages, if any, to the society you’ve created in Divergent?
Roth: All the advantages I see only seem like advantages to me because I live in our current society. For example, the members of their society don’t focus on certain things: race, religion, sexual orientation, political affiliation, etc. I mean, a world in which you look different from the majority and no one minds? That sounds good to me. But when I think about it more, I realize that they’re doing the exact same thing we do, but with different criteria by which to distinguish ourselves from others. Instead of your skin color, it’s the color of your shirt that people assess, or the results of your aptitude test. Same problem, different system.
— An interview with Veronica Roth, the author of Divergent

SpongeBob:(trying to come up with an fake emergency for staying out of the water) Uhh... there are sharks in there! (a family of sharks is shown in the crowd)
Father Shark: Hey, that's my family you're talking about!
SpongeBob: Uhh... sea monster! (a giant, green sea monster walks over)
Sea Monster: You know, we sea monsters have made great strides in the fields of science and literature. (walks off as he smacks SpongeBob with his tail)

Narrator:He who speaks with forked tongues should never be trusted.
JonTron: Blatant racism.

Gabriella: This is insane! You're acting like a crazy person! This isn't even a war... It's goddamn MANSLAUGHTER!
Four: Hee Hee... Ha ha ha ha ha!
Gabriella: What's so funny!?
Four: Manslaughter... We're fighting elves, remember? So it can't be MANslaughter! Hee hee!
Gabriella: Unbelievable...
Four: Oh, and that's not all! This is a pirate ship, not some pleasure craft! Pirates are evil! And it's FINE to kill evil people! As long as the're not civilians, they're fair game! This is the hammer of justice at work. We're always in the right. Now keep attacking! Move it!