Given that the subject of the entire series is a near-constantly inebriated overweight man who may or may not actualy have Tourettes but nonetheless cusses like a sailor at the first sign of inconvenience (and often cusses anyway even if something isn't going wrong), there are a lot of moments to choose from.
- One notable instance is where one of Danny's curses is "Bob Saget!" Whether it be dropping his beer on the table, getting distracted by a car horn while playing pool and missing his cue, or mowing the lawn through a swarm of bees.
- Even Saget himself has heard of it
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- Even Saget himself has heard of it
- While eating at a friend's house:Friend: Does it taste all right?
Danny: It's pretty good. (glances and gestures at a picture) Who's that faggot with the tuba?
Friend: (offended) THAT'S OUR DAD!
Woman: Watch your mouth!
Friend: DANNY!
Danny: Oh, SHIT! Sorry! - Danny really loves Total.Son: Dad, there's nothing to eat for breakfast.
Danny: There's some cereal right here.
Son: Oh, that's Total. I don't really like that.
Danny: (Death Glare) Don't talk shit about Total. - Every time Danny hears a phone ring, he growls "Fashion Bug". By the third time:Danny: I'd like to meet the motherfucker who named it Fashion Bug and shove a broom up his ass! Bitch!
- From the same scene, Danny's son questions about some "white stuff" on the kitchen floor.
Danny's son: (pointing downwards in Danny's direction) Dad, there's some white stuff on the floor.
Danny: THAT'S MY ASS! - How Danny responds to a ringing phone: "Piss."
- The bit where Danny calls Colgate to complain about its toothpaste:Danny: Yes. I bought your Colgate toothpaste. The one with tartar control. AND IT MADE ME FEEL... LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT!
Operator: Sir?
Danny: This is BULLSHIT!
Operator: Sir, hold on one moment.
(Danny gets put on hold, and "Every Breath You Take" - which was heavily sampled by Puff Daddy's "I'll Be Missing You" - starts to play)
Danny: I hope this is the Puff Daddy version of this song! Not that Sting piece of shit!
(Danny bobs his head to the music and then pauses...)
Sting: Every breath you take...
Danny: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! DAMN IT! HOLY SHIT!
Operator: Sir?
Danny: BALLS!- As well as what happens immediately after:
Operator: Sir, if you would like a refund—Danny: I PISSED!(the camera pans down to Danny's crotch, where there is a wet spot in the middle. The operator hangs up)Danny: Fucking hung up on my ass! - A conversation between Danny and one of his neighbors:Danny: My son bought home some cases of pickles from the cannery. I was wondering if I could store them at your place.Neighbor: What? Why? Well, how many pickles are you talking about?Danny: It's about thirty cases.Neighbor: Thirty cases of pickles?! You want me to... I-I don't know, my house is gonna smell like pickles.Danny: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!
- In one scene Danny takes a shower with Head and Shoulders and, because he gets burned, ends up cursing out the bottle for a LOOONG time. See it for yourself.
- Danny hears a loud grinding noise coming from the kitchen while he's talking on the phone. He walks into the kitchen to investigate.Danny: Shit! Ah, shit! Shit! Shit! What's all the damn noise?!Danny's Son: It's the garbage disposal.Danny: Sounds like Chewbacca taking a shit! (does a surprisingly good impression of the Chewbacca growl)Danny's Son: No, it doesn't.Danny: Yes, it does!Danny's Son: No, it doesn't!Danny: Yes, it does! (does another Chewie impression)Danny's Son: Shut up! (throws a blue sponge at Danny)Danny: Aw, fuck you! You're grounded!Danny's Son: What for?!Danny: 'Cause you don't think the garbage disposal sounds like Chewbacca taking a shit, that's why! Now Go to Your Room!Danny's Son: Oh. Shit!
- While Danny is in the shower, his ex-wife Shirlena comes to visit. After she bangs on the door several times, this happens:Danny: WAIT A MINUTE, YOU DICK!Shirlena: I don't have a dick, you prick!Danny: Shirlena? AWWW, SHIT!(afterwards...)Shirlena: (calling from the kitchen) Danny, what do you want for breakfast?Danny: (in a pleasant, conservative tone of voice) Bacon and eggs, dear.Shirlena: (Beat) ...What?Danny: (slam his hands on the chair and goes right back to yelling) OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I SAID BACON AND EGGS!(later on, they have an argument)Danny: I have to live in this hellhole! All you ever do is stay at home, and play with your tits, and look at your ass at the same time!(he walks away while doing an impression of his description and making a slurred noise. Shirlena throws a bowl of cereal at him)Danny: (nearly panicking) Aah! Ah, shit!(cuts to him on his hands and knees cleaning up the mess)Shirlena: I'll kick you in the BALLS!Danny: BITCH! (beat) I love you.
- Two moments take place when Danny takes his son to a job interview in a bad neighborhood. The first occurs when Danny's son offers him some Twizzlers:Danny's Son: Dad, you want some Twizzlers?Danny: No!Danny's Son: But Dad, they're really good!Danny: NO!Danny's Son: Come on Dad, just have some!Danny: NO!Danny's Son: But Dad, they're low-fat!Danny: *pounds his fists on the desk* BUTT FUCK!(A guy who was sleeping next to Danny the whole time wakes up, takes off his sunglasses, and gives him a rather unfriendly look. They then just sit and glare at each other.)
- About 10 minutes later, an absolutely furious janitor storms in the room ready to fight Danny because of a huge mess in the bathroom note
Janitor: Did you shit in the fuckin' toilet?! Did you shit in the fuckin' toilet and put all the toilet paper in there?!(Jump Cut)Danny: (Beat) (in a contented voice) ...That was a good shit.Janitor: *throws chair at Danny* BULLSHIT! Bullshit! You spilled all the fuckin' water!Danny: I needed to shit, bitch!Janitor: Then you threw toilet paper in there, motherfucker! You got a damn like...Danny: You're a bitch! *throws newspaper at janitor, who throws a chair in response* Fatass! *the janitor throws more chairs and about to walk away* Dickhead!Janitor: You wanna see a dick? *starts walking threateningly towards him* You wanna see a big black dick?!Danny: Kid about your shit!(Jump Cut)Janitor: Shit like a horse. You got a horse ass on you. Shit like a fuckin' horse.(if you listen closely, you can hear the cameraman snickering in the background amidst this)Danny: FUCK HORSES!Janitor Who been fucking you in your ass?Danny I don't give a shit about Kentucky D-! [[note]]Danny said "Kentucky Derby", which makes sense after yelling about horses. Although this could often be misheard as "I don't give a shit about your tiny d-!"- Special mention goes to Danny throwing a newspaper page at the janitor's face. It's a hilariously poor choice of weapon, seeing as how the janitor is throwing chairs.
- Going out for drive-thru is always an event with Danny.Danny: I want two cheeseburgers... and I want pickles and ketchup on 'em... *leans out the window towards the intercom*... and don't load it up with a bunch of bullSHIT!Cashier: Okay sir, that's two cheeseburgers with pickles and ketchup. Will there be anything else?Danny: I want a biggy fries... *leans out window again* ...and get me some SHIT... to DRINK!
- Danny owes money:Danny: (while swaying around with a beer in his hand) We're gonna be out of the butt... and into the fuck... if we don't come up with that 36 dollars. *passes out on the floor*
- "Who gives a shit about Bigfoot...? Men's asses!"
- Danny's cussing is always funny when he's shouting, but even more so when he's talking in a more normal tone of voice, such as when ordering a pizza and part of the phone falls on his groin.Danny: Oh, piss!... Sorry, this fucking phone just hit me in the goddamn balls... I'm sorry, I got fucked.
- Danny's surprise birthday party:
- Funny things happen when Danny drinks, like the time he did his own version of Unsolved Mysteries."Tonight! On Unsolved Mysteries! Find out who gives a shit about Bigfoot! UPDATE! Apparently, nobody gives a shit, so FUCK HIM!
(later)
"UPDATE! Last night, somebody broke in and stole over $500 worth of SHIT from my place! That's right! Five hundred dollars worth of BULLSHIT!!" - "Return of the Tourettes Guy part 4" featured a segment dedicated to Danny saying "shit."
- *while vacuuming* "SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! OH, SHIT!"
- "Shirlena treated me like a shit."
- "You're a big-ass waste of shit!"
- "HURRY UP, YOU SHIT BOAT!"
- "TONIGHT, ON UNSOLVED SHIT!!!"
- *from outside, while retrieving keys to a locked door in his pocket* Shit!
- *seeing the clock on the wall is wrong* "That clock is full of SHIT!"
- Danny cussing out people on the phone is played over clips from The Lion King so it sounds like the characters in The Lion King are saying what Danny's saying."Big black woman with big tits, you can't miss her!""I'm gonna take a piss, and when I come back, I'm gonna talk about the Mighty Duck movies."
- Also, apparently something happens when Alex Trebek has a picture of a giraffe shoved in his ass during an earthquake.
- "Shit. If she was a car, she'd be a Four Door Ford Whore! ...Bitch."
- There's a scene where Danny is talking to Shirlena about his doctor and what he doesn't want his doctor knowing. He shouts into the phone:Danny: Don't you EVER! Talk about my DICK! Without my PERMISSION!
- What really sells the scene is the upbeat, out-of-place music in the background.
- Danny's opinion of Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah Winfrey's couch is fairly accurate: "He's not playing with a full dick."
- Danny has trouble with the microwave.Danny: BITCH! BIIIITCH!! (sticks his head in the microwave and goes crazy, with sounds of loud clattering dubbed over) Ah shit! Where's my fucking glasses?! Ahhh, SHIT!
(the cameraman laughs, causing Danny to briefly stare him down) - Danny watching ALF on DVD talking to his Grandma Jenelle on the phone:Danny: I'm watching the first season of ALF on DVD. Alf. ALF! You're 93 years old and you don't know what Alf is?! *hangs up phone* Piece of crap!
- This gem.
Danny: I love my Grandma Jenelle. She's the sweetest person in the entire world, and God bless her. BUT SHE'S OLD AS FUCK! - Danny's reaction to waking up to a giant M&M statue by his bed.
- Danny's son accidentally throws a roll of paper towels at Danny's crotch. Luckily, it wasn't hard... the paper towels, not his dick.
- The paper towels return when Danny carries down a year's supply of them and they fall out of the box, causing them and Danny to fall down the stairs.
- Danny hears Magnum, P.I. coming on as he's playing pool. He rushes to the living room while swearing, and he shoves his son out of the way ("GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY, BITCH!") to get to the couch! He also says this to an off-screen person before he hears the show's theme song:Danny: I'd like to see you try to walk a mile in MY SHIT!
- That time there was a bird in the house when being interviewed about gay marriage.Danny: I don't hate gays, but if some faggot ever tried to touch me, I'd—Danny's Son: (freaking out as he runs to him) DAD! DAD, DAD!Danny: (slams his hands on the chair as he turns to him) WHAT?!Danny's Son: Dad, there's a bird in the house!Danny: What do you mean, "a bird"?!Danny's Son: It just flew in when I opened up the door and-Danny: (jumps out of his chair) HOLY SHIT! (runs) OH, FUCK! AHH, DAMN IT! (utters something unintelligible, which is subtitled ???)
- There is a Smash Cut to Danny roaring as he throws a beer bottle at the bird, who is sitting on top of a clock. It shatters the clock and it falls to the ground, taking the bird with it! He then proceeds to swing at the bird with broom, and ends up hitting the cameraman. He then swings but misses and knocks a lamp off a table.
Danny: (readjusting his glasses) Oh, fuck!
Danny's Son: (upset) Dad, you're gonna break everything in the whole house!
Danny: I'M TOO PISSED TO GIVE A SHIT!
(the bird flies into his face)
Danny: (falls down) AH, FUCK! DAMN IT! - Danny carrying a hot casserole dish without oven mitts. And he lets loose an appropriate Cluster F-Bomb, to boot! When he gets back up after putting it down on the table, he hits his head on a chandelier. When he stumbles out of the room, he unleashes a loud '''FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!'''
- Ronald McGoddamn Donald! He says this at a Ronald McDonald bench.
- As his ex-wife tells him about her grandfather ended up lost in a K-Mart due to Alzheimer's (and started taking his clothes off), Danny does his best to hold in his laughter. She finally notices him giggling:Shirlena: DANNY, ARE YOU LAUGHING?!Danny: (laughing) AHAHAHA YOUR GRANDPA'S AN ASS!
- "When I die and go to heaven and see God, I'm gonna say, 'Shit!'"
- After cleaning out the attic, without his Tony the Tiger shirt for once:Danny: I don't have time for this chicken-shit bullshit. (drinks beer)Danny's Son: (pointing to the sweat stains on Danny's shirt) Dad, is that a Mickey Mouse T-shirt?Danny: The fuck you talkin' about?Danny's Son: Look, that's his ears there, and there's his face.Danny: (after looking at his shirt back and forth) That's not Mickey Mouse, that's just tit dirt!
- Danny and his son go shopping at a supermarket:Danny's Son: Dad, can we get some of this movie theater butter popcorn?Danny: How much is it?Danny's Son: Is just two for five dollars.Danny: Oh, what the hell, I guess so.Danny's Son: You mean it? OH, YES! YES! (starts jumping up and down)Danny: Calm down! Calm down! Don't get a big DICK!
- Later, during the same grocery store trip.
Store clerk: Peter Pan Peanut Butter has been pulled from the shelves due to a "Peter Pan Peanut Butter Alert (salmonella poisoning)".Danny: What the hell do you mean, a "Peter Pan Peanut Butter Alert"?- While riding a mobile cart, he suddenly yells "HOLY SHIT!", scaring a family nearby (but amusing the kid). When he backs up after getting beer, he crashes into a shelf, then a cardboard display comes loose and hits him on the head!
- Danny going to some extreme to locate the store's bathrooms. By that, we mean that he loudly barges into one of the back doors.
Danny's Son: (complaining) Dad, you're not allowed to go back in there.
Danny: I don't give a shit-shit-SHIT!
(crashes through the back door, startling the workers behind it)
Danny: Where'd the assholes who built this place put the BATHROOMS?!- Danny's total ends up being $109.19, but he only has forty dollars on him. The cashier helps him by removing some items.
Danny: Don't put the beer back.Cashier: We'll put the Tide back, we'll put the napkins back, we'll put the juice back, we'll put the marshmallows back-Danny: NOOOO!!! (slams his hand down on the marshmallows) - Danny's dad has only appeared thrice, but each appearance is absolutely hilarious.
- On Thanksgiving Day, everybody was supposed to bring food... but almost everybody brought mashed potatoes. Danny's dad is not amused.
Danny's Dad: WHAT IS THIS?! *slams pot on table* "Shitload of Mashed Potatoes Day"?! *leans in closer and screams in Danny's face* HUH?!- We then see Danny's dad rummaging around in a kitchen drawer.
Danny's dad: There's gotta be something else to eat in this damn house... aw hell, he's got some corn, some green beans, some oats, some saltines... *pulls out a box of Count Chocula cereal◊ and pauses to look at it* What the hell's THIS shit?- Later, during a game of pool, a falling curtain causes Danny's dad to fall. The camera man goes to help him to his feet, but accidentally drops him when his cussing cause him to laugh. Not as amused, Danny's dad chases the cameraman through the house. Thankfully, the cameraman escapes in his van, leaving Danny's dad to curse him as he drives away.
Danny's Dad: YOU COCKSUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
(Special thanks to the Doppler effect.) - Danny to his dad: "Fuck you and every mall Santa that looks like you!"
- Hell, the whole damn exchange is hilarious. It starts with a cursing battle between Danny and his ex:
Danny: (pounds table) Fuck you!Shirlena: Fuck you!Danny: FUCK YOU!Shirlena: FUCK YOU!Danny: I said "fuck you" first, so fuck you!Danny's Dad: Hey, there's a whole lot of fucking going on in this room!Danny: Fuck you!Danny's Dad: Well, fuck you!Danny: Fuck you!Danny's Dad: Fuck you!Danny: Fuck you and every mall Santa that looks like you!- Followed by Danny's dad looking himself over and realizing that yes, he does look like Santa.
- Followed immediately thereafter by Danny's dad with his son in a headlock.
- FUCK SALT!
- Danny is apparently a fan of Captain Planet.Danny's Son: They took all the fishing poles from the backyard and they left a bunch of beer cans and garbage.Danny: Damn it! I'm getting all sick and all goddamn tired of all these looters... and polluters!
- Later, during the same segment, Danny has a Freudian Slip while talking on the phone.
Danny: "I talk to my son on a DICK! (Beat) ...DAILY BASIS!!" - In-universe example. Danny is talking on the phone about his appointment with a Dr. Rhodes, and says to the receptionist on the phone "Remember that fat wrestler from the 1980s named Dusty Rhodes? Man, he was a piece of shit!" The cameraman then falls over on the floor laughing while Danny gives him a dirty look.
- Two words: "HORSE MANURE!!!"
- While shopping around at Walmart, Danny's father comes across a black woman with a HUGE ass. After some persuasion from Danny's son, he decides to hit on her. By talking like a black guy. It goes just as well as you'd expect it to go.Danny's Dad: DAAAAMN, bitch! You've got a stupid fat ass!(The woman slaps him, causing him to fall to the ground)Danny's Dad: Damn, bitch!
- Danny's dad is in line at what appears to be a McDonald's, when this happens:Danny's Dad: Oh, shit.Bystander: What, did you forget your wallet?Danny's Dad: No. I mean MOVE, I GOTTA SHIT! (Shoves him out of the way and runs for the bathroom)
- "I'M NOT AFRAID OF SHIT! (Beat) ...Except snakes."
- "Random Jail Story":Danny: And then I had to use the bathroom, AND FIFTY PEOPLE WAAAAATCHED!
- Danny starts choking on popcorn. Even while coughing, he keeps eating it and cussing:Danny: (cough cough) Dick. (cough cough cough) Balls! (coughs, waves a piece of popcorn in the air as if making a point) Cock! (eats it)
- Danny was going to appear on Wheel of Fortune, but got "bumped." He took it about as well as one would expect."You guys really pissed me off! I told my whole family I was gonna be on! SHIT! I just don't give a SHIT about Wheel of Fortune anymore! If I ever see Vanna White in person, I'll call her a bitch! Then I'll tie Pat Sajak to a telephone pole and let a UPS guy BUTT FUCK him!"
- Danny chews out his cable company on camera for charging him for Showtime even though it was supposed to be free for three months, and also for charging him a "franchise fee." The camera gradually zooms in on his face during the last part of his rant for a hilarious and genuinely intimidating effect.Danny: If I don't get a full refund, I'm gonna take you to small claims court, and take my business to Comcast! And once you see my dick, YOU WON'T WANT IT!
- Danny on the phone with tech support:Danny: You motherfuckers! PIIIIIIIISSSS!! (the top page of a wall calendar comes loose and falls back down, changing the calendar to the previous month) Go count your dick!
- Danny plays Mortal Dick Head:Son: Dad, you're getting your ass kicked!Danny: Fuck you, there's a fly in here!
- Despite being only 45 seconds long, the Halloween 2014 video manages to be this for not just the viewer but Danny's son and the cameraman as well. Danny is pissed off, but what else is new?Danny: OH, JESUS CRAP!!!
- Funnier when Danny runs out of his house and starts screaming for help, causing his neighbors to call the cops. When he comes back inside the house, there are sirens wailing in the background.
- Then Danny inevitably yells at his son.
Danny: YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE!!! YOU SCARED SHIT OUTTA ME!!! - Danny's "road rage" in the Christmas 2014 video, which is him yelling things like "Yeah, you strut your stuff, you faggot!" and "Smell my ass!" at people on the sidewalk as he drives past.Danny: (passing by a group of road workers) Gentlemen! EAT SHIT!
Danny's Son: Dad! - The painfully forced and obviously faked clip where they have someone dress up in a poorly pixelated-out rubber mask (in all likelihood it's probably the same Freddy Krueger mask from the previous video) and pretend to be Shirlena's grandpa in a wheelchair, while Danny conspicuously unfurls a paper towel. Danny and his son sound like they rehearsed a skit and phoned the lines in.Danny's Son: Oh, what's that smell?Danny: Frank shit his wheelchair!
- Danny having another issue with bills, this time a credit card- and being outsourced to the dreaded Operator from India. But unlike many other times before, the infernal operator loses his patience and gets the last word:Danny: You know what, fuck you people! Kiss my ass! I'm going to a different credit card company!Operator: I don't give a sheet! (hangs up on him)Danny: SON OF A BITCH!!! OHHHHH!!! (slams phone repeatedly)
- This bit when Danny is eating with his dad, and his son comes in to tell them that both have to move their cars since Grandma Jenelle is leaving.Danny's Dad: There was like, five of these assholes...Danny's Son: Dad, Grandpa, Grandma Jenelle's leaving. You both need to move your cars.(Beat)Both Danny and his Dad: AW, SHIT!!!
- In the April Fools 2016 video, Danny's impression of Macho Man Randy Savage.Danny: OOOOHHHH YEEAAH! THE MACHO MAN'S GONNA EAT YOUR ASS! OOOOHHHH YEEAAH!
- When Danny tries out a bed at Sears, his only comment about it is "Triple H would shit his pants", without any indication of whether that means the bed is good or bad.
- Speaking of Wrestling, Danny watches some old wrestling matches and comes up with some introductory lines for the wrestlers.
- Mr. PerfectDanny: He thinks his shit doesn't stink!
- Hacksaw Jim DugganDanny: Now he'd be the first to tell you his shit stinks!
- Bad News BrownDanny: It looks like someone took a big-ass shit, and named it "Bad News Brown"!
[cameraman falls down laughing once again]
- Mr. Perfect
- Danny helps his son get ready to ask a girl out and offers him some sage advice.Danny's son: I don't think I can go through with this... what if she says no?
Danny: You gotta make confidence your bitch! - Danny gets into an argument with his doctor.Danny: This is absolute BULLSHIT! And I will be contacting my insurance company, my lawyer, my dog shit!
[The video freezes and the subtitles "I will be contacting my dog shit" drift into the middle of the video] - The funniest moment by far: Danny walking into a McDonald's, taking one look around, and saying this out loud:Danny: Look at these dumb motherfuckers.
(His son immediately makes a break for the exit)
Danny's Son: Dad! (hits his chin right into the glass door pane because he didn't pay attention to where he's going)
** The Stinger: an ad for Tourette's Guy Cologne: "Make Confidence Your Bitch".
- From the Christmas 2017 video:
- Danny having the hiccups and cursing throughout. He gets so annoyed that he seeks out Shirlena and barges in on her while she's in the bathroom simply to yell "FUCK THE HICCUPS!!!"Shirlena: Goddamn it! I'm on the fucking toilet! Get out!
Danny: [slams door] Shit! [leaves]
Shirlena: Danny! The door didn't shut! Shut the fucking door! - While on the phone, Danny reaches for a pen that is all the way across the table. When he can't reach it, he yells "Shit!" repeatedly (at one point, in the phone) and he falls down.
- Danny gets into another argument with his son.
- More road rage from him:Danny: [to pedestrian] You look like Boss Hogg's cock!
- Danny is just sitting around and relaxing when there is a knock at the door. Danny doesn't scream or even seem all that angry when he says:Danny: Probably a fag.
- "Why does our broom closet smell like an ass?"
- Danny's son is concerned about the neighbors calling the cops for Danny's continuous outbursts.Danny's Son: Dad, the new neighbors are going to hear you cussing and yelling and call the cops again.
Danny: I don't really fuck (care)!
Danny's Son: Well, the neighbors do (care)! - Regarding Ice Cube:
- Danny on the phone with a smart-aleck salesman.Salesman: Well, you know what they say: you say "to-may-toes", I say "to-mah-toes." Ha ha.Danny: You can shove those to-mah-toes up your fat ass!
- Danny's thoughts on Charlie the Tuna: "He's an asswipe!"
- Danny apparently confronts the cameraman about allegedly trying to commit sexual assault on him. The video glitches in the beginning, and when he hits the camera, there is an ear-deafening sound.Danny: He comes to my house, has 6 pancakes, 6 sausages, and 3 glasses of orange juice! And then he gets in my bed and wants to play with my ass!
- Danny's son is constantly bugging about the time, so he gets really fed up:Danny: (covering phone mouthpiece) It's time for you to get a damn WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH!!! (accidentally uncovers mouthpiece) Dickhead! (gives son a "now look what you made me do!" look)
- Danny's son brings him Breakfast in Bed. When the son walks into his room, a mug falls from the tray and bounces down the stairs, shattering on the floor. The camera focuses on that, by the way.Danny's Son: Dad, I made you some shit.Danny: Get the fuck out of here!Danny's Son: But Dad, it's Father's Day.Danny: Fuck off!Danny's Son: Dad, I spent 30 minutes making breakfast.Danny: You're an asshole!Danny's Son: (finally fed up) Well, you know what, Dad? You're nothing but a no-good, inbred, drunk piece of crap![beat]Danny: Who isn't?
- Danny having the hiccups and cursing throughout. He gets so annoyed that he seeks out Shirlena and barges in on her while she's in the bathroom simply to yell "FUCK THE HICCUPS!!!"
- Danny's thoughts on Dom DeLuise:Danny: Dom DeLuise, he used to be a chef on TV, but now he just sits at home, with his ass up his ASS!
- Danny is sitting in his chair when a car blasting rap music passes the house. It's loud enough to be easily heard inside of the house for several long, awkward moments, but Danny is silent. But once it fades off, Danny starts blowing raspberries/poorly beatboxing for several moments to mock it before cussing it out.
- Danny's son offering to help him figure out what's wrong with the washing machine:Danny: You don't know how a washing machine works! How are you gonna figure out why it won't start?Danny's Son: I could take an educated guess...Danny: You couldn't take an educated SHIT!
- Danny won $250,000 from the lottery. Three years later, the entire house is littered with beer cans and pizza boxes, among other sorts of trash.
- When Danny is woken up to go to court, he shouts "AAAAWWWW, ASS!!" and slams his bed, making the camera momentarily glitch.
- There is something in the piles of beer cans, so when Danny investigates, his reaction is to hightail it out of there. He then comes back downstairs with a box fan.Danny: Hey, faggot!Cameraman: (looking up) Hmmm...?Danny: MOVE! (throws box fan at the cameraman)
