Funny / Monsters, Inc.

How a fan supports his favorite Scarer: biting the hand that feeds him.

Moment pages are Spoilers Off. You Have Been Warned.

For a movie about monsters, it sure delivers a lot of laughs. Heck, it's basically the the closest movie Pixar has made that focuses only on comedy (though it has its emotional tones).

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• The opening sequence wherein a monster walks into a child's bedroom, gets scared by the child's scream and starts knocking things over. And it rapidly escalates from there. After that, it's revealed we're in the training simulator, where Ms. Flint, the training instructor, immediately begins critiquing him on his mistakes.
  Ms. Flint: All right, Mr. Bile, is it?
  Bile: Uh, my friends call me Phlegm.
  Ms. Flint: Uh-huh. Mr. Bile, can you tell me what you did wrong?
  Bile: I fell down?
  Ms. Flint: No, no, before that. [turning to the trainees behind her] Can anyone tell me Mr. Bile's big mistake? Anyone?
  Trainees: [confused look, one coughs]
  Ms. Flint: [playing the footage on the screen of Bile entering the room] Ugh! Let's take a look at the tape. Here we go... Uh, right... pa-pa-pa-pa— ah! There, see? The door! You left it wide open. And leaving the door open is the worst mistake any employee can make because...?
  Bile: Uh... it could let in a draft?
  Waternoose: It could let in a child!
  • In an alternate version of the scene, one trainee comments, "If I let in a kid, I bet I could catch it," only for Waternoose to point out that children are toxic.
• Mike drilling Sulley during in his morning workout. It starts with...
  Waternoose: I need Scarers who are confident, tenacious, tough, intimidating. I need scarers like... like... James P. Sullivan.
  (Cut to Sulley sleeping in bed.)
  Mike: [imitating a radio reporter] Hey! Good morning, Monstropolis! It's now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. in the big monster city. Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees - which is good news for you reptiles - and it looks like it's gonna be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in, or simply (normal voice) WORK OUT THAT FLAB THAT'S HANGING OVER THE BED! GET UP, SULLEY! [blows an airhorn in Sulley's face]
  Sulley: AAAAH! AAAAH! [crouches like a scared cat]
  • "Scary feet scary feet... ooh! The kid's awake!" Sulley drops flat onto his belly. "Alright, Scary feet scary feet... kid's asleep!'' Sulley roars.
  • "Twins! In a bunkbed!" Sulley mimes alternating lunges between bunks. "Ooo, thought I had ya there!"
  • "Come on, fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque!" (said by Mike while Sulley is brushing his teeth.)
  • Eventually culminating in Sulley doing pull ups from the ceiling:
    Mike: 118. Do you have 119? Do I see 120? Oh, I don't believe it!
    Sulley: I'm not even breaking a sweat!
    Mike: Not you! Look! The new commercial's on!
    Sulley: Huh? YAAH! [falls to the floor]
  • The commercial itself is utterly cheesy and full of Bad "Bad Acting". Special mention goes to the simulation of the difficult-to-scare child watching what sounds like a violent movie while sleepily eating a bowl of cereal and Mike's face getting covered up by the logo at the end, followed by his reaction.
    Mike: I can't believe it... I... was ON TV!!!
• The scene at a crosswalk, when Mike and Sulley are walking to work. In the original English version, the crosswalk signal says, "DON'T STALK", then changes to "STALK". In the international versions, the crosswalk signal shows a four-clawed red hand spread out for "DON'T STALK", and a two-headed green monster walking for "STALK".
• Needleman and Smitty's intro.
  [Needleman realigns one of the Monster of the Month photos—all of which depict Sulley.]
  Smitty: Hey, it's still leaning to the left!
  Needleman: Is not!
  Sulley: Hey, fellas!
  Needleman & Smitty: Hey, Mr. Sullivan.
  Sulley: Guys, I told ya, call me Sulley.
  Needleman: I don't think so.
  Smitty: We just wanted to wish you good luck today.
  Mike: Hey, get lost, you two. You're making him lose his focus.
  Sulley: See ya later, fellas! [Sulley and Mike leave]
  Smitty: Go get 'em, Mr. Sullivan!
  Needleman: Quiet! You're making him lose his focus!
  Smitty: Oh, no! Sorry!
  Needleman: SHUT UP!
• Sulley matter-of-factly picking up Mike's bag because his friend is too busy singing to Celia to carry it himself.
  • Also Sulley making gagging noises when Mike and Celia greet each other with their pet names.
  • "Hi, Celia... W-Welia." (Sulley says this after Celia calls him Sulley-wulley).
  • Mike tells Celia to think "romantical (sic) thoughts", then walks away backwards singing a love song. Later, in the locker room, Mike is still ranting about how Celia's "the one" and Sulley mentions, deadpan, that he filed the reservations under Celia's pet name for Mike, "Googly Bear".
    Mike: Oh good id— You know, that wasn't very funny...
  • The song itself is hilarious, particularly thanks to Mike's performance of it:
    "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU AND MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, ME AND YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU, BOTH OF US TOGETHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!"
• This glorious line from Randall. The way Steve Buscemi delivers the line is what makes it:
  "Do you hear that? It's the winds... of change."
  • Followed by Mike mocking Randall once Randall has walked away:
    Mike: [mockingly] "You hear that? You hear the winds of change?" [normal voice, to Sulley] Oh, what a creep. One of these days, I am really...gonna let you teach that guy a lesson.
  • The way he appears for the first time:
    [Mike's locker suddenly closes by itself]
    Mike: Huh? [opens it]
    [The locker closes again]
    Mike: What the...?
    [Randall standing nearby becomes visible and abruptly leans over to him.]
    Randall: WAZOWSKI!
    Mike: WAAAAH!!! (falls to the floor)
    Randall: Whaddya know! It scares little kids and little monsters!
    Mike: I wasn't scared! I have... allergies. [fakes cough]
    Randall: Uh-huh, sure...
• When Mike walks away from Roz's desk, she says, "I'm watching you, Wazowski, always watching. Always."
  Mike: Ooh, she's nuts!
• Pete "Claws" Ward goes into a door but the kid apparently fails to be scared.
  Assistant: What happened?
  Pete "Claws" Ward: (sobbing) The kid almost touched me! She got this close to me!
  Assistant: She wasn't scared of you? She was only six!
  Pete "Claws" Ward: (grabbing assistant) I could've been dead! I COULD'VE DIIIIIIED!
  Assistant: (slaps him) Keep it together, man!
  • Bonus points for the rock music coming out of the closet before he slams the door. Must've been one hell of a kid...
  • The kid in question also has a poster from Sid's room. Food for thought...
• Randall becoming Top Scarer of the day for a brief moment, only to be interrupted by a sudden cacophony of screaming from another door. Cut to Mike filling up several canisters, rapid-fire, before Sulley comes out, cracks his knuckles and turns smugly to Randall. It also doubles as an Awesome Moment.
  Sulley: Slumber party.
  [Numbers adjust, and Sulley's back on top on the scare board]
  Celia: Never mind.
• "23-19! We have a 23-19!" (This is said whenever George is seen with human belongings on him).^note The 23rd letter of the alphabet is W, and the 19th letter of the alphabet is S; the first time George gets tackled he has a white sock on his back. Thus, "23-19" could stand for "WS", which in turn would stand for "white sock".
  • "Oh dear..." (gets tackled)
    • On the second time, a squad of CDA agents happen to be in the locker room in the bathroom stalls.
  • For bonus points, George catches on the third time and stuffs the sock into Charlie's mouth before tossing him through the door and closing it, then casually walks away whistling. Needless to say, he didn't wanna go through the treatment the CDA gave him.
• Mike talking to Sulley about his date that evening with Celia.
  Mike: I gotta tell you buddy, that face of hers, it just makes my heart go—[turns and comes face to face with Roz] YIKES!!!
  Roz: Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight?
  Mike: Well, as a matter of fact—
  Roz: Then I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly... for once. (Mike freezes) Your stunned silence is very reassuring.
• The entire scene where Boo meets Sulley. The sheer irony of a big, lumbering, and hairy monster freaking out at the sight of a little girl is very amusing indeed.
  • Sulley placing Boo in her room, he closes the door, turns around...and Boo's right in front of him! Becomes even funnier when he glances at her door in confusion and then at her.
  • The scene in the locker room where Sulley just walks away, not even realizing that Boo is hanging onto his back until he goes around a corner and then runs away screaming. And just to make it even more funnier, part of the Psycho theme is playing.
• At the sushi restaurant when Mike tries to woo Celia right before Sulley shows up.
  Mike: Just the other day somebody asked me who I thought was the most beautiful monster in all of Monstropolis, and do you know what I said?
  Celia: What did you say?
  Mike: I said... (sees Sulley out the window) Sulley?
  Celia: Sulley?!
• Mike's Oh, Crap! moment when Boo is let loose in the restaurant.
  Mike: Celia, please try to understand!! I have to...(Boo escapes from the bag) DO SOMETHING!!!
• Harryhausen's getting "decontaminated".
  Mike: (as he, Sulley and Boo make a mad dash for home) Well, I don't think that date could have gone any worse!
  (Cue a gigantic, pulsating orb of plasma consuming a three-block radius around the restaurant)
  • There's also the original version available on Blu-Ray (which sadly had to be cut after 9/11) where they straight-up nuke the place. The original version can also be seen here.
• Just the entire Harryhausen scene in general due to the fact that a human child, barely able to speak, is somehow able to cause an entire district of adult monsters to break out in a hysterical, mass-panicking riot.
• The following scene with the "witnesses".
  Horrified Tall & Lanky Monster: Well, the kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision!
  • It's even funnier in the Latin American dub, because they gave him an Argentinian accent.
  • There's also a witness, who is a large slug with a southern accent.
    Slug Monster: I tried to run from it, but it picked me up with its mind power and shook me like a doll!
    Many-eyed Monster: It's true! I saw the whole thing!
  • Take a look in the background during the second witness: There's a monster waving at the camera. She takes her kid's hand and makes them wave too.
  • The news monster says, "It is my professional opinion that now is the time to PANIC!", flailing his extremities about at the last word. Then Boo accidentally pushes the TV over and smashes it, almost making it look like said monster was reacting to as much.
• The scene immediately after the restaurant chaos when Sulley and Mike are trying to deal with Boo in their apartment. For Sulley and Mike, it's like they've got a wild, lethal snake loose in the place. For Boo, it's basically the best game of peek-a-boo ever.
  • This bit:
    Mike: No! Don't touch those, you little— (Boo pulls out a CD from the middle of a tall stack; the entire thing collapses to the floor) Aww, now those were alphabetized! It's OK, it's alright. (removes his makeshift face guard) As long as it doesn't come near us, we're gonna be OK. (Boo sneezes on him, scaring him. Mike then sprays himself in the eye with disinfectant in his panic and screams in pain.)
• Sulley's song to stop Boo from crying, which was causing power surges in the apartment.
  Sulley: 'Oh, he's a happy bear, and he's not crying, and neither should you, or we'll be in trouble, 'cause they're gonna find us! (lights stop surging) So please stop crying...' (Boo reaches for the teddy, but Sulley suddenly screams, and grabs his hand, tossing the teddy over his shoulder in the process) AAH! SHE TOUCHED ME! SHE TOUCHED ME! (Sulley makes Boo cry causing another power surge)
  Mike: Sulley, the bear! The bear! Give her the— (The lights stop surging again while Boo quiets; Mike trips over a lamp pole) WHOA! (rolls like a bowling ball into an overturned trashcan, the impact causing the nearby shelf to tip over and send bunch of books falling into his mouth, then a speaker falls on top of his head. Boo begins laughing. She laughs so hard that she causes a city-wide blackout.)
  Sulley: What was that?
  Mike: (still in the trash can) I have no idea, but it'd be really great if it didn't do it again.
  Boo: Hehehehh!
  Sulley: Shh. Shh. Shh.
  Boo: Shh.
  Sulley: Shh.
  Boo: Shh... (grins sheepishly)
• Mike in regards to Boo:
  Mike: That thing is a KILLING MACHINE!
  Boo: [Dancing around in a circle happily] La la la la. *giggle*
  Mike: I bet it's just waiting for us to fall asleep, and then, WHAM! Oh, we're easy prey, my friend. Easy prey! We're sitting targets!
  Boo: [stops dancing, gets dizzy and flops on her back] La la laaa- oof!
• This gem:
  Mike: Okay, look, I think I have a plan here.Using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city, and release it into the wild!
  Sulley: …Spoons.
  (Beat)
  Mike: That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek!
  • Even funnier is Sulley's deadpan look, as well as the tone of his voice as if he were to say, "That has got to be without a doubt the stupidest idea you have ever came up with."
• Sulley informs Mike that Boo is tired. Mike's reaction completely sells it.
  Mike: Well, then why don't you find someplace for it to sleep...WHILE I THINK OF A PLAN!!!
• Sulley initially wants Boo to sleep on some newspaper, and when she climbs into his bed instead, he says, "No, hey, that's my bed! You're gonna get your germs all over it!".
• Sulley attempting to get Boo to sleep.
  Sulley: (using sign language) You... go... to... sleep. (mimics snoring)
• Mike's incredulous reaction to Sulley saying he doesn't think Boo is dangerous, after putting her to sleep.
  Mike: Really? Well, in that case, let's keep it. I always wanted a pet… THAT COULD KILL ME!!!
• Mike's response when Sulley suggests just sending Boo back through her door;
  Mike: Is that a joke? Tell me you're joking. (Sulley just shrugs) Sulley, I'd like to think that given the circumstances, I've been extremely forgiving up to now, but that is a horrible idea! What are we gonna do, march right out into public with that thing? Then I guess we just waltz right up to the factory, right?
  (While Mike is talking, Sulley's eyes drift to his chair, where he gets an "I have an idea" expression". Zoom into the chair's pattern, then zoom out to show Boo is now wearing a costume made from the chair's fabric, carried by Sulley as he and Mike walk to Monsters, inc..)
  Mike: I can't believe we are waltzing right up to the factory!
• "It's 'Bring An Obscure Relative To Work' Day!" (what Mike says after Sulley claims Boo is his "cousin's sister's daughter").
  • And Waternoose bought it.
    Waternoose: Hm. Must've missed the memo.
• Mike trying to hide Boo in the locker room while he gets her door.
  Sulley: But she can't stay here; this is the men's room!
  Mike: (Beat) That is the weirdest thing you've ever said.
• Mike trying to get the key to Boo's door from Roz, only for his request to be denied because he forgot to turn in his paperwork.
  Mike: Listen, I need a favor. Randall was working late last night out on a scare floor. I REALLY need the key for the door he was using.
  Roz: Well, isn't that nice? But guess what? You didn't turn in your paperwork last night.
  Mike: He didn't-I...no p-paperwork?
  Roz: This office is now closed. [rolls security shutter down on Mike's fingers]
  Mike: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
• This hilarious bit when Sulley and Boo are in the bathroom.
  Sulley: Ready or not, here I come! I'm getting warmer. Any second now! (crawling along the floor, deep voice) FEE FI FO—
  Mike: (comes in) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
  • That's funny on its own, but imagine just how awkward that would have been if someone else had come in instead of Mike.
• As the Sulley, Mike and Boo hide in the bathroom, a tense scene takes place where Randall bashes open the doors, trying to find anybody hiding. What stops him from opening the door to them and continuing his search? Fungus showing the newspaper depicting Boo in a total panic. Mind you, this is after he already showed as much to Randall.
  • Doubly funnier is Randall punching the door to reveal the three, neither him and Fungus noticing as much before the door closes and the two head off.
• "Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, "Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me". It's a musical." (For added hilarity, during the credits a musical with that name is enacted...)
  Mike: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... (Bom, bom, bom, bom...) so help me, so help me, and cut!
  • In the bloopers:
    Mike: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me! Get that thing away from me you guys! Put that thing back where it came from! Or I'll poke myself in the eye!
  • "It's a work in progress! It's gonna get better!" It really doesn't...
• Later, after Boo is missing:
  Mike: Someone else will find the kid! It'll be their problem, not ours! She's out of our hair!!
  (the two of them smash into Randall)
  Randall: What are you two doing?!
  Random Employee: They're rehearsing a play!
  Mike: (singing) SHE'S OUT OF OUR HAIR!!
  Randall: Can it, Wazowski!
  • In a blink and you miss it moment just before that, Randall bumps into Sulley and suddenly gets colored just like him.
• For an added bonus, there was even a pamphlet about the musical in the DVD extras. Mike got credit for everything and the musical has gotten some bad reviews (except from Mike's ma, of course), which kinda contrasts the audience's opinion of the show in the end credits.
• Randall making his deal with a terrified Mike in the hallway. He proceeds mafia-style interrogation where he twists Mike's arms like a clock and even gives the "capisce" hand gesture when he asks Mike if he's made himself clear.
  [Mike sprints across the hallway. He hides behind a corner with a portrait of Waternoose behind. Mike sighs in relief. Suddenly, Randall materializes beside the portrait. Mike turns around.]
  Mike: YIKES! [Randall lunges at Mike, pinning him to the wall]
  Randall: WHERE'S THE KID?!
  Mike: Kid? What kid?
  Randall: It's here in the factory, isn't it?
  Mike: You're not pinnin' this on me! It never would've gotten out if you hadn't been cheating last night!
  Randall: CHEATING?! I— [calms down] Cheating. Right. Okay, I think I know how to make this all go away. What happens when the whistle blows in five minutes?
  Mike: Uh...I get a time out?
  Randall: Everyone goes to lunch! Which means the Scare Floor will be...
  [Beat]
  Mike: ...painted?
  Randall: EMPTY! [shakes Mike in frustration] It'll be empty, you idiot! [points at the clock hanging on the wall] You see that clock? When the big hand is pointing up... [forces Mike's arm up] and the little hand is pointing up... [forces the other arm up] the kid's door will be in my station. But when the big hand points down... [forces Mike's arm down; Mike groans in pain] the door will be gone. You have until then to put the kid back. Get the picture?
  Mike: [whimpering] Uh-huh...
  • What sells it is Mike tentatively forming the "p" sound while looking nervously, as if he was hoping Randall would say "Yes, it'll be painted."
  • Randall's answer to "painted" is even better in the Swedish dub.
  Randall: It'll be empty! Just as empty as your head!
  • For an extra dash of Fridge Brilliance, the clock is perfectly in Mike's line of sight if not slightly above it! Boy, for a guy with such a big eye he must have serious tunnel-vision.
• This conversation:
  Needleman: So I said, "If you talk to me like that again, we're through."
  Smitty: Oh! What did she say?
  Needleman: You know my mom. She sent me to my room.
• Sulley watching what he mistakenly thinks is Boo getting mashed in the trash compactor.
  • Made even better if you're a die-hard Looney Tunes fan, as the entire scene is basically one long Shout-Out to Chuck Jones. The icing on the cake is when Sulley stops the compactor after everything is over - why didn't he think of that from the very beginning?
  • Mike meeting back up with Sulley, who is mourning over the cube of garbage after he thinks Boo ended up in the trash compactor. Also sad too, since he thought Boo had perished.
    Mike: Sulley? That's a cube of garbage. (One of her fake eyes bugs out) Uh oh...
    Sulley: (Tearfully) I can still hear her little voice!
    Boo: Mike Wazowski!
    Mike: Hey, I can hear it too.
    Monster Children: (off-screen) Mike Wazowski!
    Mike: How many kids you got in there?
  • The gaggle of monster-children and "Mike Wazowski!", followed by the slug child biting Mike and Boo laughing again, causing Sulley to say, "Will you stop making Boo laugh?!".
  • When the daycare worker assumes Sulley is Boo's dad, he tries to say the "cousin's sister's daughter" line again but is interrupted.
• This when Randall finds out he captured Mike instead of Boo.
  Randall: WAZOWSKI?! Where is she, you little one-eyed creh-tin?! ^note He meant "cretin".
  Mike: Okay, first of all it's "cree-tin". If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping me is gonna help YOU cheat your way to the top!
  Randall: [laughs, incredulous] You still think this is about that stupid scare record?
  Mike: [faltering] Well... I did. Right up until... you chuckled like that. And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.
• Mike is strapped into the chair by Randall while Sulley and Boo watch from the shadows.
  Randall: I'm about to revolutionize the scaring industry. And when I do, even the great James P. Sullivan is gonna be working for me.
  [As he and Boo watch from nearby, Sulley's eyes go wide]
  Mike: W-w-well, somebody's certainly been a busy bee.
  Randall: First, I need to know where the kid is, and you're gonna tell me.
  Mike: I don't know anything!
  Randall: Uh-huh, sure.
  Mike: I don't! [An alarm blares] Uh-oh! [A gigantic machine lowers from the ceiling. It slowly moves closer to Mike] What's that? What is that thing?! That thing is moving! I don't like big, moving things that are moving towards me! Woah! Hey! Randall!
  Randall: Say hello to the Scream Extractor.
  Mike: Hello. [Randall makes his way to the control panel] C'mon, wait! Were you going? We'll talk! We'll have a latte!
• Mike nearly being subjected to the Scream Extractor is unsettling, but the way he attempts to keep his lips shut only for them to flap uncontrollably towards the approaching sucking tube and the Little "No" and fractured noise Mike makes while it happens can be hysterical Nightmare Retardant to some.
• When Mike is trapped in the scream extractor, and tries to bribe Fungus to release him by offering... a ride in his car.
  Fungus: I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall says I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.
• Sure, Mike's meltdown after he and Sulley are banished may be a Tear Jerker, but still has a bit of comedy shaved in:
  Mike: IT'S TOO LATE! WE'RE BANISHED, GENIUS! WE'RE IN THE HUMAN WORLD!! OH, WHAT A GREAT IDEA, GOIN' TO YOUR OLD PAL WATERNOOSE! TOO BAD HE WAS IN ON THE WHOLE THING! ALL YOU HAD TO DO, WAS LISTEN TO ME, JUST ONCE! BUT YOU DIDN'T! DID YOU?! ...YOU'RE STILL NOT LISTENING??!!
• Mike wearing a pair of mittens on his horns.
• The Abominable Snowman and his snow cones.
  Abominable Snowman: Snowcone?
  Mike: Yuck!
  Abominable Snowman: No, no, no. Don't worry. It's lemon.
  • Later on, when Sulley and Mike's conflict reaches a boiling point he says this to excuse himself.
    "Oh, look, we're out of snow cones! Let me just go outside and get some more..."
  • The really funny part, however, is that it wasn't just an excuse - he really DID go make new ones.
• When Mike decides to come back from exile and tries to have a heart-to-heart with Sulley, oblivious to the fact he's being choked to death by an invisible Randall. Annoyed, he throws a snowcone at him but hits Randall, who Sulley quickly backhands.
  Sulley: [is fighting the invisible Randall when he is hit with a snowball] Mike?
  Mike: Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid.
  Sulley: Mike, you don't understand.
  Mike: Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but you shouldn't have left me out there.
  Sulley: I'm being attacked!
  Mike: No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest. Just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship. [Boo approaches Mike, frightened] I-I-I know, kid. He-he's too sensitive. [Sulley is being strangled] Come on, pal. If you start crying, I'm gonna cry, and I'll never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now. Hey, Sulley, I am baring my soul here. The least you can do is pay attention! [Mike throws a snowball; it hits Randall, making him visible enough for Sulley to punch him in the face] Hey, look, it's Randall- ohhhhhh...'
• Celia angrily demanding that Mike tell her what's going on as they're running from Randall (dragging Celia behind them), so Mike does: This is what follows.
  Celia: You expect me to believe that pack of lies, Mike Wazowski?!
  Boo: (Pops up) Mike Wazowski!
  Celia: (Screams and lets go)
  Mike: (Meekly) I love you Smoopsie-poo!
  • Before this, Celia furiously leaps at Mike upon seeing him again, screaming in anger while doing so, causing Mike to scream in terror.
• Mike's response to Sulley claiming they're going to get Boo to her door, while they both ride a door into the door vault;
  Mike: What a plan! Simple, yet insane!
• Mike and Sulley couldn't believe the size of the door vault until they find out their moving fast;
  Sulley: Hold on!
  (The door there riding starts to speed up)
  Mike: Woah!!!!
  Sulley: Woah!!!!
  Mike: Wow!
  Sulley: Don't look down!
  [Boo's bumping all over the place making sounds]
  (All of a sudden, there is a big drop)
  Mike and Sulley: (Their mouths start to open) WHOAAAA!!!!!!!!!
  Boo: (As they both stop screaming, Boo screams happily) AHHH!!!!
  (The red light on the door surges and overpowers with electrical sounds. Boo stops screaming in a couple of seconds causing the red light to lose its power.)
  Mike: I'm gonna be sick, I'm gonna be sick... (they reach a switch rail) Woah!! Oh, no! (the track sends their door in one direction and Boo's door in the other.)
  Sulley: No!!!
  Randall: Hmmm!
  Sulley: Boo's door!
  Mike: There it is! How are we supposed to get to it now?!
  (The door slides in to the storage area and comes to a fast stop)
• After Mike injures himself to make Boo laugh, they and Sulley escape through a door just before Randall can catch them. Randall then helplessly slams into the door.
• During the international/interdimensional door chase, Sulley and Mike end up in a tropical paradise.
  Mike: Why couldn't we get banished here!?
  • And when Sulley and Mike go through a door laying on the ground:
    Mike: (lands horizontally on the ground) That was weird.
    [Sulley then lands on him]
    Sulley: Mike? (looks down) Oh! Sorry, buddy.
    Mike: (dazed) Okay...
• During her beat-down of Randall, Boo doesn't, initially, use the baseball bat. It's only after Randall slips on it that she spots it. Then she decides to clobber him with it.
• Randall's defeat.
  Mike: Alright, come on! Over the plate! Let's see the old stuff here, pal! Come on, now! Chuck him, chuck him, baby! Hum, baby! Hum, baby! Here's the pitch!
  Randall: Hey! No, wait! No, please! Don't! Don't! No! NOOOOOOO...! (Sulley tosses him into the door and Mike slams it)
  Mike: And he is... OUTTA HERE!
  (Cut to a trailer in a southeastern swamp at night; the silhouettes of Randall and two hillbillies can be seen from the windows)
  Hillbilly Son: Mama, 'nother gator got here in the house!
  Hillbilly Mom: 'Nother gator?! Gimme that shovel! C'mere! (repeatedly whacks Randall with the shovel)
  Randall: Ow! Ooh! Ouch!
  Hillbilly Son: Get him, Mama! Get that gator!
  Randall: Ow! Ow! Ow! AAAAH!
  • Even better: Randall's reaction, coupled with the boy's comment that "another" gator got in, implies that he's been through that closet before. Evidently, the kid there wasn't scared of him.
  • Even even better: It's the trailer with the bug zapper!!
• Mike trying to make Boo laugh again after the doors' power goes out.
  Mike: All right, I got a move here. It'll bring down the house. (does a flip, and lands with the beam between his legs)
  Sulley: (lifts up Boo's hood) Oh, sorry, she didn't see that.
  Mike: WHAT?! What'd you do?! Forget to check if her stupid hood was up, ya big dope?! (Boo crosses her arms, offended)
  Sulley: (sing-songy) Uncle Mike, try not to yell in front of her! You know we need her to laugh!
  Mike: Right. Hey, Boo! Just kidding. Look! (Slams the door on his own face; muffled) Funny, right? See, with the... (Boo doesn't laugh; she just continues to scowl) ...These are the jokes, kid.
• When Mike reveals that he and the CDA were watching Waternoose's every move, he smugly loops his "favorite part" of the security camera footage. It's Waternoose saying "I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die!—I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die!—I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die!" For some reason, the repetition of that line is hilarious; even Waternoose's reaction of complete shock adds more to it as he realized that he just exposed himself, resulting in his arrest.
  • The one CDA guy whose eye stalks exchange a look with one another while all this is going on.
• As all the monsters watch Waternoose arrested and taken away.
  Smitty: I bet we get the rest of the day off!
  Needleman: YOU IDIOT! They're gonna shut down the factory!
  (crowd gasps; cut to Sulley and Mike as they head out the factory door)
  Mike: Man, you should've seen the look on Waternoose's face. I hope we get a copy of that tape! (notices Sulley's sad expression) Hey, you all right? Come on, pal, cheer up, we did it! We got Boo home! Sure, we put the company in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now. Not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power. But hey, at least we had some laughs, right?
  Sulley: (his mood slowly brightens) Laughs...
• Mike's stand-up routine that fails to amuse a child.
  Mike: Dodgeball was the best - I was the fastest one out there! Of course, I was the ball... but I... was the ball.
  • That line has been made even funnier since Kingdom Hearts III came out, since Sora's team attack with Mike is throwing him like a bowling ball.
  • The kid's expression that practically screams Flat "What" is probably the funniest part.
  • Mike holding up his hand to the kid as if to say "Bear with me for a second" as he waits for the microphone he just swallowed to come back up.
• On the screen, during the now Laugh Floor sequence, there's a joke of the day, probably one of the old jokes in the book, but still pretty funny: "The doctor says to the patient, 'What seems to be the trouble?' Raising his arm, the patient says, 'It hurts when I do this.' The doctor says, 'Don't do that.'"
• Like some other Pixar movies, the Hilarious Outtakes. See them here.
  • Especially notable is Roz's continued appearance. Like when the bathroom stall is opened,
    Roz: Hello. Ah-hah-hah.
  • The monsters falling over in slow-mo.
    • A Funny Background Event shows Randall pointing and laughing at Sulley tripping until Randall trips himself.
  • "Go ahead. Go throw up." (Mike accidentally says this instead of "Go grow up", prompting Boo to laugh).
  • Sulley trying to turn a corner...only to skid off screen.
    Mike: (chuckling) Can we get a little more wax on the floor, please?
  • Also the previously mentioned show from earlier on in the movie.
  • Needleman and Smitty try to use the door shredder, only for it to shred the door way too fast and go out of control across the Scare Floor before eventually knocking the camera over.
  • When the CDA first enter the Scare Floor through the windows, one window doesn't fly open, resulting in a CDA agent smacking against the glass and sliding down.
  • Fungus pulling not only the wallpaper, but also an artistic portrait for Randall to blend into, making him look like he's wearing the outfit in the portrait, which Randall actually finds to be pretty funny himself, when out-of-character at least. And then he adds that he looks good in the outfit.
  • Rex makes a cameo in one of the outtakes.
  • This outtake with Needleman and Smitty.
    Smitty: Go get 'em, Mr. Solimen!
    Needleman: You idiot! It's Sullivan, not Solimen!
    Smitty: What?
    Needleman: You're messin' up the scene!
    Smitty: Sorry!
    Needleman: We're never gonna work in Hollywood again!
    Smitty: Lemme do it over!
    Needleman: SHUT UP!
    Smitty: Keep rolling!
    Needleman: YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!!!
  • Sulley flubbing one of his lines. The banter that ensues sounds so genuine it makes you wonder if John Goodman actually flubbed the line and Billy Crystal's riffing was a legit reaction.
    Sulley: Look-lay in the bag-bay.
    Mike: I think you mean 'ook-lay in the ag-bay'.
    Sulley: What? Didn't I, uh...
    Mike: Well, maybe you should take a minute to ead-ray your ipt-scray.
    Sulley: (chuckles)
• Sulley and Mike banter with each other throughout the credits song "If I Didn't Have You", and it's all very funny (You can just hear Billy Crystal and John Goodman having a BLAST!)
  Sulley: Yes, I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you
  Mike: I know what you mean, Sulley! Because-
  Sulley: I wouldn't know where to go
  Mike: Me too! Because I-
  Sulley: Wouldn't know what to do
  Mike: Why do you keep singing my part?
  • Also, when it sounds like they're dancing.
    Mike: Don't you dare dip me! Don't you dare dip me! Ow, I should have stretched!
  • This part towards the end of the song:
    Mike: ONE MORE TIME! (music continues) IT WORKED!
• This trailer for the film meant to played in theaters showing Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, which was released at the same time as Monsters, Inc.:
  • Mike and Sulley are playing charades, with Sulley getting Harry Potter. His attempts to get Mike to figure it out involve gesturing to his fur ("Harry") and putting dirt in a flower pot. Mike's continued inability to figure it out even when Sully goes so far as to sit on a broom with a paper lightning bolt on his forehead while holding an owl eventually frustrates Sulley to the point where he just gives up, at which point, Mike finally figures out what it is but is cut off by a cut to black showing the Monsters, Inc. title.
  • One of Mike's first guesses once he figures out the "Harry" part is When Harry Met Sally....
  • His guess to Sulley's above attempt to spell it out with the broomstick and lightning bolt-forehead? The Sound of Music.
  • The ending of the trailer: "Now showing at a theater near you. Really near you. Like, maybe, right next door."
  • The Stinger in which it's now Mike's turn to act out charades and Sulley easily guesses that it's Star Wars before Mike even has a chance to act it out. Even more Hilarious in Hindsight after Disney bought the franchise.
    Mike: How do you do that?
• The early trailer, showing Mike and Sulley trying to get into a kid's bedroom but the door won't open, forcing them to jimmy it using a credit card. Things don't get better when Mike's misread the notice. Really misread.
  Mike: Outer Magnolia?
  Sulley: Magnolia? Gimme that. (takes Mike's board and reads it) It says "Mongolia". (gesturing around the decidedly non-Mongolian looking bedroom) Does this look like Mongolia to you?
  Mike: Uh, well, well...
  Sulley: (over Mike's continuing objections) Remember the fifth grade, when you spent all your time passing notes to Susie Boyle? The rest of us were studying geography! This is not Mongolia!
• An early CGI test for the movie involving Mike (who has no arms here) and Sulley (named Johnson at the time) picking out a tie for Johnson to wear.
  Mike: (pointing to a tie with his foot) That one!
  Johnson: Oh. Really? Because I wasn't even sure I should have put that one out.
  Mike: Oh, you always do this! You ask me for my opinion and then you ignore it! Besides, it's just a tie!
  Johnson: Just a tie!? Neck-wear can make a very important first impression! You wouldn't understand.
  Mike: Oh, I wouldn't understand. *angrily jumps at Johnson* Just because I can't wear a tie, you think I wouldn't understand, is that it!?
  Johnson: No no no! Not at all! Uh, here, is this the tie you wanted?
  Mike: That's the one! That's the babe magnet!
  Johnson: It's kind of, uh... big.
  Mike: Proportions, Johnson, proportions! It's attitude that makes the monster! *puts on an oversized cowboy hat* Come on, let's go.
• The Sound Effects Mix of the film. An alternate soundtrack to the film, but with only the sound effects playing. No music, no dialogue, just sound effects.
• The simple fact that monsters, many of whom are enormous with giant teeth and claws, are utterly terrified of children.

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