- The scene in the sushi restaurant, and the TV interview with the "witnesses".
Well, the kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision
- It's even funnier in the Latin American dub, because they gave him an Argentinian accent.
- There's also a witness, who is a large slug with a southern accent.
Slug Monster: I tried to run from it, but it picked me up with its mind power and shook me like a doll.
Many-eyed Monster: It's true! I saw the whole thing!
- "Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical." (For added hilarity, during the credits a musical with that name is enacted...)
Mike: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me, so help me, and cut!
Mike: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me! Get that thing away from me you guys! Put that thing back where it came from! Or I'll poke myself in the eye!
- Later, after Boo is missing:
Mike: What are you worried about?? She's out of our hair!!
(the two of them smash into Randall)
Randall: What are you two doing?!
Random Employee: They're rehearsing a play!
Mike: (singing) SHE'S OUT OF OUR HAIR!!
- For an added bonus, there was even a pamphlet about the musical in the DVD extras. Mike got credit for everything and the musical has gotten some bad reviews (except from Mike's ma, of course), which kinda contrasts the audience's opinion of the show in the end credits.
- " I'm watching you, Wazowski, ALWAYS WATCHING. ALWAYS."
Mike: Ooh, she's nuts!
- Mike drilling Sulley's morning workout it starts with...
: I need Scarers who are confident, tenacious, tough, intimidating. I need scarers like...like...James P. Sullivan.
(Cut to Sulley sleeping in bed.
(imitating a radio reporter): Hey! Good morning, Monstropolis. It's now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. in the big monster city. Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees - which is good news for you reptiles -and it looks like it's gonna be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in, or simply...WORK OUT THAT FLAB THAT'S HANGING OVER THE BED!
GET UP, SULLEY! [blows a airhorn in Sulley's face, promptly awakening him
- "Scary feet scary feet..kid's awake! Scary feet scary feet...kid's asleep!''
- Eventually culminating in Sulley doing pull ups from the ceiling
Mike: 118. Do you have 119? Do I see 120? Oh, I don't BELIEVE it!
Sulley: I'm not even breaking a sweat!
Mike: Not you! Look! The new commercial's on!
Sulley: [yells and falls to the floor]
- This gem
Using mainly spoons
, we dig a tunnel under the city, and release it into the wild! Sulley: ...Spoons. Mike
Thats it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed.
Randall: Say hello to the Scream Extractor.
- When Mike decides to come back from exile and tries to have a heart-to-heart with Sulley, oblivious to the fact he's being choked to death by an invisible Randall. Annoyed, he throws a snowcone at him but hits Randall, who Sulley quickly backhands.
Sulley: [is fighting the invisible Randall when he is hit with a snowball] Mike?
Mike: Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid.
Sulley: Mike, you don't understand.
Mike: Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but you shouldn't have left me out there.
Sulley: I'm being attacked!
Mike: No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest, just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.
(Boo approaches Mike, frightened)
Mike: I-I-I know, kid. He-he's too sensitive.
(Sulley is being strangled)
Mike: Come on, pal. If you start crying, I'm gonna cry, and I'll never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now. Hey, Sulley, I am baring my soul here. The least you can do is pay attention!
(Throws snowball; it hits Randall, making him visible enough for Sulley to punch him in the face)
Mike: Hey look, it's Randall- ohhhhhh...'
- When Mike is trapped in the scream extractor, and tries to bribe Fungus to release him by offering... a ride in his car.
Randall: Where is she, you little one-eyed creh-tin?
Mike: Okay, first of all it's "cree-tin". If you're going to threaten me, do it properly.
- "I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall says I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot."
- Mike's discovery that Randall has more on his mind than the top scarer competition:
You're nuts if you think kidnapping me
is gonna help YOU cheat your way to the top. Randall: [Evil Laugh]
You still think this is about that stupid scare record? Mike: [Faltering]
Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.
- This hilarious bit when Sulley and Boo are in the bathroom.
Sulley:"Ready or not, here I come! I'm getting warmer. Any second now! (crawling along the floor, deep voice) FEE FI FO—"
Mike: (comes in) "What are you doing?!"
- That's funny on it's own, but imagine just how awkward that would have been if someone else had come in instead of Mike.
- Sulley watching what he mistakenly thinks is Boo getting mashed in the trash compactor.
- Made even better if you're a die-hard Looney Tunes fan, as the entire scene is basically one long Shout-Out to Chuck Jones. The icing on the cake is when Sulley stops the compactor after everything is over - why didn't he think of that from the very beginning?
- The gaggle of monster-children and "Mike Wazowski!" Chomp!
Mike: That thing is a KILLING MACHINE!
Boo: [Dancing around in a circle happily] La la la la. *giggle*
Mike: That face of hers, it just makes my heart go- YIKE!!!
Roz: Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight?
Mike: Well, as a matter of fact-
And I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly, for once?
(Mike gulps) Your stunned silence
Pete "Claws" Ward: The kid almost touched me! She got this close to me!
Assistant: She wasn't scared of you? She was only six!
- Bonus points for the rock music coming out of the closet before he slams the door. Must've been one hell of a kid...
- Mike going all smug as he reveals Waternoose's plot... The expression on his face is the best part.
Mike: Let's watch my favorite part again... shall we?
- "23-19! We have a 23-19!"
- "Oh dear..." (gets tackled)
- On the second time, a squad of CDA agents happen to be in the locker room in the bathroom stalls.
- For bonus points, George catches on the third time and stuffs the sock into Charlie's mouth before tossing him through the door and closing it.
- The Abominable Snow Man and his snow cones.
- Later on, when Sulley and Mike have a moment he says this to excuse himself.
- The really funny part, however, is that it wasn't just an excuse - he really DID go make new ones.
"Take my buddy, Bigfoot; when he was banished, he fashioned an enormous diaper out of poison ivy. Wore it on his head like a tiara. Called himself 'King Itchy'!"
- Mike's stand-up routine that fails to amuse a child.
Dodgeball was the best - I was the fastest one out there! Of course, I was the ball
... but I... was the ball.
- The kid's expression that practically screams Flat "What." is probably the funniest part.
- YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!!!
- The scene in the locker room where Sulley just walks away, not even realizing that Boo is hanging onto his back until he goes around a corner and then runs away screaming. And just to make it even more funny, part of the Psycho theme is playing.
- Sulley placing Boo in her room, he closes the door, turns around...and Boo's right in front of him! Becomes even funnier when he glances at her door in confusion and then at her.
Sulley: (using sign language) You...go...to...sleep. (mimics snoring)
Sulley: "Slumber party."
- A little context: Randall has just made Top Scarer of the day, only to be interrupted by a sudden scream from another door. Cut to Mike filling up several canisters, rapid-fire, from the aforementioned slumber party.
- Randall's fate. ("'nother gator? Gimme that shovel!" *whack* *bong* *noises of pain from Randall*)
- Mike's Oh Crap! moment when Boo is let loose in the restaurant.
: Celia, please try to understand!! I have to...(Boo escapes from the bag) DO SOMETHING!!!
- Like some other Pixar movies, the Hilarious Outtakes. See them here.
- Especially notable is Roz's continued appearance. Like when the bathroom stall is opened,
- The monsters falling over in slow-mo.
- "Go ahead. Go throw up."
- Sulley trying to turn a corner...only to skid off screen.
- Also the previously mentioned show from earlier on in the movie.
- As shown above, Needleman and Smitty trying to use the door shredder, only for it to shred the door way too fast and go out of control across the Scare Floor before eventually knocking the camera over.
- When the CDA first enter the Scare Floor through the windows, one window doesn't fly open, resulting in a CDA agent smacking against the glass and sliding down.
- Fungus pulling not only the wallpaper, but also an artistic portrait for Randall to blend into, making him look like he's wearing the outfit in the portrait, which Randall actually finds to be pretty funny himself, when out-of-character at least.
- During the international/interdimensional door chase, Mike and Sulley end up in a tropical paradise.
Mike: Why couldn't we get banished here!?
Sulley: (while trying to make Boo stop crying) 'Oh, he's a happy bear, and he's not crying, and neither should you, or we'll be in trouble, 'cause they're gonna find us. So please stop crying.
- "It's 'Bring An Obscure Relative To Work' Day!"
- The scene immediately after the restaurant chaos when Sulley and Mike are trying to deal with Boo in their apartment. For Sulley and Mike, it's like they've got a wild, lethal snake in the place. For Boo, it's basically the best game of peek-a-boo ever.
- Sulley and Mike banter with each other throughout the credits song "If I Didn't Have You", and it's all very funny (You can just hear Billy Crystal and John Goodman having a BLAST!)
Sulley: Yes, I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you
Mike: I know what you mean, Sulley! Because-
Sulley: I wouldn't know where to go
Mike: Me too! Because I-
Sulley: Wouldn't know what to do
Mike: Why do you keep singing my part?
- Also, when it sounds like they're dancing.
Mike: Don't you dare dip me! Don't you dare dip me! Ow, I should have stretched.
- This part towards the end of the song:
Mike: ONE MORE TIME! (music continues) IT WORKED!
- Mike going over different plans for getting rid of Boo.
"Hot-air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek!"
- When Mike reveals that he and the CDA were watching Waternoose's every move, he loops his "favorite part" of the security camera footage. It's Waternoose saying "I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die!—I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die!—I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die!" For some reason, the repetition of that line is hilarious.
Mike: Man, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face. I hope we get a copy of that tape.
- At the sushi restaurant when Mike tries to woo Celia right before Sulley shows up.
Mike: Why, just last week I was asked who I thought was the most beautiful monster in all of Monstroppolis and you know what I said?
Celia: What did you say?
Mike: I said, (sees Sulley out the window) Sulley?
- Sulley matter-of-factly picking up Mike's bag because his friend is too busy singing to Celia to carry it himself.
- Also Sulley making gagging noises when Mike and Celia greet each other with their pet names.
- "Hi, Celia... W-Welia."
- Celia angrily demanding that Mike tell her what's going on as they're running from Randall (dragging Celia behind them), so Mike does. This is what follows.
Celia: You expect me to believe that pack of lies, Mike Wasowski!?!?
Boo: (Pops up) Mike Wasowski!
Celia: (Screams and lets go)
Mike: (Meekly) I love you smoochy poo.
- Mike's response to Sulley claiming they're going to get Boo to her door, while they both ride a door into the door vault;
Mike: What a plan! Simple, yet insane!
- Mike meeting back up with Sulley, who is mourning over the cube of garbage after he thinks Boo ended up in the trash compactor.
: Sulley? That's a cube of garbage
. (One of her fake eyes bugs out) Uh oh.....
Sulley: (Tearfully) I can still hear her little voice!
Boo (off-screen): Mike Wazowski!
Mike: Wait, I hear her too!
Monster Children (off-screen): Mike Wazowski!
Mike: Hey how many kids do you got in there?!
- Actually, Sulley's over-the-top reactions to the various machines in the compactor are in and of themselves absolutely priceless...that is, unless you're one of the people who looks at it as Dude, Not Funny!, especially since they're a Shout-Out to the Warner Brothers short Feed the Kitty.
- As all the monsters watch Waternoose arrested and taken away
- "Come on, we did it! We got Boo home. Sure, we put the company in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?"
- Mike wearing a pair of mittens on his horns.
- How the hell has no one mentioned opening scene?! Words honestly don't describe how funny it is.