Funny / Feeding the Trolls

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2011- 2012

MonkeyGameGuides

• "DIE, YOU FUCKING CAMERA! DIE!"
• Regarding Monkey's frequency of calling things "gay":
  Monkey: Y'know, the guy from Gay of Thrones!
  Weasel: 'Kay, so...Sean Bean's gay, Patrick Stewart's gay, Jauffre is gay, Oblivion's gay, and Sky...okay, what isn't gay in your world? You have gay censored all going on, anything with a "G" automatically gets changed to "gay"—you have a copy of The Giving Tree—it's not The Giving Tree, it's The Gay Tree! It's not "give a little love", it's "gay a little love"! It's not Good Morning America, it's Gay Morning America! Gay of Thrones...actually, yeah, Game of Thrones is gay.

MonkeyGameGuides again

MonkeyGameGuides one more time

• Despite being in a completely different format from the rest of the series, he still makes it funny by making the video a parody of MonkeyGameGuides' videos, complete with him grinding his teeth and speaking in a gritty British accent.
  • There's also the two Flat "Whats" he drops during the episode, the first time when he reads about how Ratchet5 is one of MonkeyGameGuides' enemies for "making Crash Bandicoot race against time", and the second time after he reads MGG's name, Skittlez I AM NOT MONK MONK!

Exposingthecults

• Seeing Weasel trying to find all of the verses that James was listing off.
• The ending, which Weasel calls "James The Preacher: Out of the Butter, and Into the Frying Pan".

Exposingthecults again

Mario Teh Plumber

• Weasel trying (and failing) to teach Mario how to say "morons".
  Mario: (after smashing his Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage! disc with a hammer) Fuckin' GAY, you MORANS!
  Weasel: It's pronounced "moron".
  Mario: MORANS!
  Weasel: No no no, moron.
  Mario: MORANS!
  Weasel: Moron, say it with me... mor... ron.
  Mario: MORANS!
  Weasel: Moron.
  Mario: MORANS!
  Weasel: Moron!
  Mario: MORANS!
  Weasel: Moron!
  Mario: MORANS!
  Weasel: Fuck you!
  Mario: MORANS!
  Weasel: (gives a Disapproving Look)
• Weasel demonstrating how irritating it is how Mario's background music from Super Mario Bros. 2 drowns out his (already loud) voice by delivering a long explanation that gets drowned out by the Super Mario Bros. theme.

xxxallyssaownsallxx

Weasel: You're right; it is too easy to get into Heaven. That place oughta have a litmus test.

• As well as the proceeding segment, featuring God Weasel.

• During xxxallyssaownsallxx's video on why The Twilight Saga is better than Harry Potter:
  Video: Why would anyone do that? Only idiots enjoy adventures.
  Weasel: Yeah, and only little whiny teenagers enjoy Twilight. You're welcome.

jeuciel/Coppercab

• The fakeout episode starts with him trying to feed a troll who is clearly acting trying to get attention. Weasel gives up halfway though, complaining that such transparent trolls aren't any fun. Cue Coppercab. The "Gingers have souls" guy.
  Weasel: Ah yes...the pasty orange-haired bloated one...I do enjoy his antics.
• In response to Jeuciel asking why people like Anime and not Duke Nukem Forever, Weasel flashes onscreen an extremely Long List of why the game sucks.
• The Coppercompilation, rounded off by Coppercab stating: "I am not a violent person."

MagicalPockyUsagi

• The episode's completely out-of-left-field "DIE-DIE-DIE-DAISUKE" moment.
  Weasel: Okay, someone else fucking saw that, right?!?
• The Universe Error.

Mario Teh Plumber again

• MarioTehPlumber yelling into his microphone so loudly that Weasel tries guessing what he said Chinese Whispers-style.
  Mario: I'LL GET A LAWYER TO REMOVE THE VIDEOS!!!
  Weasel: What?
  Mario: I'LL GET A LAWYER TO REMOVE THE VIDEOS!!!
  Weasel: Get a log to remove Tostitos?
  Mario: I'LL GET A LAWYER TO REMOVE THE VIDEOS!!!
  Weasel: Eat some mouldy mash borritos?
  Mario: I'LL GET A LAWYER TO REMOVE THE VIDEOS!!!
  Weasel: Kill a man with a rope made of Fritos?
  Mario: I'LL GET A LAWYER TO REMOVE THE VIDEOS!!!
  Weasel: Ah, make sure Han doesn't shoot Greedo. I'm sure all we have to do is wait for the next Special Edition.
• Weasel's demonstration on how to accidentally insult someone:
  Weasel: Dear MarioTehPlumber, your a stupid dumbasshole idiot head. Send... oh, shit!

Gligar 13 Vids

• The bit about how a brony would probably play a game as violent as Team Fortress 2:
  Brony: It's okay, dude. I'm a total pacifist.
  (he then violently kills the enemy soldiers)
  Brony: Those were peace bullets.

Caiden Cowger

• Weasel's skit where he plays two posh gentlemen, one of whom spontaneously decides to be gay just to highlight how Caiden's fears of kids "becoming" gay is ridiculous.

xXMysteriousManXx

• Weasel's amusement over how MysteriousMan sounds like Nicolas Cage.

falsegospelmocker

Coppercab and Pot

• "NOT FUNNY AT ALL"
  Cutefuzzyweasel: It's kind of funny.
• The skit where Coppercab's humility about sending his pot-addicted friend to rehab...sending said friend back to smoking pot.
• Weasel believes that Coppercab could actually survive a hypothetical zombie apocalypse. Why? "Zombies normally eat brains."

PeckcellaVonPeter

• Weasel doesn't even make many real jokes in the video: his utterly horrified gawking at the spectacle unfolding before him is gold in and of itself.

IntelligentCoDFanboy

• The video Weasel covered was entirely sideways. Weasel reacts to it in absolute shock.
• Weasel replacing the music in the source video with "something more appropriate," specifically a baby's lullaby.

ricksatan972

• "Middle-Earth isn't real?"
• Weasel demonstrating what The Lord of the Rings would be like if it was condensed into ten seconds:
  Weasel (As Gandolf; Drunkenly): Frodo... Frodo, here's a fucking ring

ConservativeElite

• Weasel's realization that ConservativeElite might actually be flirting with Caiden Cowger.
• PREVIOUSLY ON FEEDING THE TROLLS:
  Weasel: Have a nice day and see you in Part 3.
  AND NOW, PART 3
• Conservative Elite claims that Obama being related to the Devil wouldn’t shock him to which Weasel sarcastically retorts that Obama is his third cousin that occasionally shows up at family get togethers only they’re really awkward because Satan voted for Paul McCain.

Halloween Special!/Coppercab

• The special guest is Satan in all of his hammy glory.
• When Weasel sets out to save Coppercab from Zombies, Satan is too distracted playing Angry Birds to notice and appears to be losing.

MyBroncos12

ELRealBoredMario64

• Weasel’s exasperation that the topic of the video he’s covering is about porn. More specifically porn of MLP.
• When Real Bored Mario mentions the word “Clopper” Weasel asks what it is and looks it up. Cut to Weasel with a “I’m Fed Up With This World” look on his face, complete with a Kubrick Stare.
  Weasel: What the Fuck is a Clopper?
• Weasel’s Brain Bleach reaction to all of the (thankfully censored) porn and graphic descriptions.
• The Running Gag of Weasel being attacked by Pony porn. Prompted when he claims that Pony porn is not everywhere only to be immediately proven wrong, mid-sentence.
  Weasel: This shit is everywhere.

0u75p0k3n

• "I win internet." ^note 0u75p0k3n believes that by not masturbating, not only is he a perfect Christian, but he has beaten the Internet.
• The insanely long list of masturbation slang that Weasel rattles off.
• Just the fact that 0u75p0k3n claims to relieve his urges to masturbate by punching himself in the nuts.
• 0u75p0k3n apparently relieves his boners by watching CNN, to which Weasel cringes and agrees that'd get the job done.
  Weasel: This is CNN. Stopping masturbation for over 40 years.

illuCodnati

• Weasel's reaction to the emotionless, brain-dead people in the crowd.
  Weasel: Wait a minute...that guy, that thing that looks like Ron Paul...it has no EYES!
• Weasel wonders what would happen if the people in the crowd just sat there until they died:
  Weasel: I'm sorry, but I just kinda get the impression they're gonna sit their 'till they die! Can you imagine being the guy who walks in on that a few days later?
  (Weasel, dressed as a janitor, walks into an empty room while whistling, where he sees the crowd is dead and rotting. Creeped out by this, he walks away still whistling)

Holiday Special/MegaSage

• He dubs the troll "Cajun Santa", and compares his accent to the Pepperidge Farm man.
• Weasel going completely batshit insane near the end of part 1.

2013

YoureCommentIsInvalid

• Weasel helps YoureComment remember his lines.
  YoureComment: Hold on, I'm thinking. I forgot my lines.
  Weasel: Oh, shit. Hold on, hold on.
  (Weasel walks off-screen for a bit and then comes back with a script. He then fumbles through the script to find YoureComment's next "line.")
  Weasel: (whispering) OK, you're supposed to say, "the PC's garbage."
  (cuts to YoureComment grabbing his own script and looking at it.)
  YoureComment: Oh yeah. (tosses script) PC SUCKS BALLSACK, NIGGA!
  Weasel: (tosses script) YOU GOT THE LINE WRONG AND YOU WERE LOOKING AT THE SCRIPT!? ALRIGHT, CUT, CUT! The whole thing, let's start over!
• YoureComment claims his friend bought his computer for $80,000 dollars.
  YoureComment: That's what they have... other stuff for, nigga, but the PC is trash, its not good for nothing, its not worth the eighty thousand dollars you gotta pay!
  Weasel: Eighty thousand dollars!? What the fuck did your friend buy, a ICBM targeting computer!?
• Then YoureComment goes on about his Xbox 360:
  YoureComment: I'm playing my superior, ultimate Xbox 360 with its eight billion core processor...
  Weasel: (in disbelief) Eight billion cores? Your Xbox... has eight billion cores? Shouldn't I be able to see your Xbox from space then?

Jared Milton

• After Jared states that the September 11 attacks were because of video games, Weasel asks if it's because Osama bin Laden wasn't able to beat the high score on Pac-Man. Made even funnier when you realize Pac-Man is Japanese.
  Osama!Weasel: Ahh!! Fucking ghosts! That is it, I will destroy the Americans
  Off-screen operative: But sir, do you not have any quarters?
  Osama!Weasel: No, I do not have any more quarters!
• Weasel praises a door in the background for doing a good job being a door.

FalseGospelMocker (James the Preacher)

MTPmoranguides

AdvancedEdition

Apologetics

• "Filthy sodomites! I hate you!"
• After a long series of insults towards gay people, Apologetics says that her song/poem is "not to discriminate." Cut to a completely dumbfounded Weasel dropping an empty soda can in shock.
• The return of the Universe Error as the result of her aforementioned claim.
  Weasel: You just got done...calling gay people, essentially, lying, disease-addled, sub-human, VERMIN. AND THAT WASN'T DISCRIMINATORY!? I...I... (a strange symbol noise starts playing) PARADOX! PARADOX! PARADOX! PARADOX! PARADOX! PARADOX! (falls off chair while continuing to chant)
  (Universe Logic Error)
• After the Universe Error:
  Weasel: You cannot say that you advocate for discrimination, and it not be discriminatory! This is like Dividing By Zero, you just can't do it!

Glenn Beck

• Cutefuzzyweasel prays to {God} when faced with the dilemma of playing one of two Call of Duty games. God turns out to be IntelligentCODFanboy.
• This is actually pointed out in the comments, but while Glenn Beck reminisces about the farm his children would play on and how it's much better compared to violent video games, a photo of one of Beck's children can be seen in the background...firing a rifle.

50 Shades of Stupid (Apologetics)

• Throughout the passive-aggression to flat-out rage, one instance of calling out the Insane Troll Logic of the video stands out:
  Weasel: (keeping tally of on-topic points) 0 to 7 and fuck you, dickhead! Way to try and be there for your kids. (imitates Southern accent) "What, you're havin' some kinda sexual identity issue? You an embarrassment to this here family! And I's just saying that because I'm a lovin' father!"

TrishaGrindhouseBarbiePaytas

• Cutefuzzyweasel's reaction to Trisha admitting that she found John F. Kennedy hot.
  Cutefuzzyweasel: So that's what Lee Harvey Oswald was thinking about? While he was looking down his gun in the Book Depository he was going, "My god, that man is sexy"?
• Weasel interpreting a faraway sound of an airplane as Trisha's brain shutting itself down.

Brutal Doom Sucks

• When Weasel sees the lifeless clones again, he wonders if the whitehouse staff replaced the old clones with new ones and crammed the old ones into a meeting room:
  (Weasel, as a janitor, is cleaning up the hallway while whistling when he sees the dead bodies crammed everywhere across the hall)
  Weasel: You know, I really don't like working here anymore.
• BrtualDoomSucks: ...including great one authors^note Most likely he meant ".WAD Authors", referring to the type of file that Doom levels are saved as. like Joey and Ogre.
  Weasel: What the hell is one author? Is that someone who makes wonton soup?
• "GoAnimate, we provide trolls with an easy way to make shitty videos!"

Krapplefag

Irvin Baxter

CoachDaveTV

• The preview of the video was a supercut of Coach Dave saying sodomy, with a count reaching double digits.
  • It spreads to the rest of the video.
  Weasel: Stop right there! Right there, what the fuck is that in the corner? "Sodomized by the left"? Suddenly I'm really sure I'm not going to like this video, because this is going to be one of those times when my brain starts... (pics of Coach Dave and Michael Moore come together, turns to censor bar) No nononono ARHHHH!
  • It continues with Jon Stewart and Tom Hanks.
• Weasel: Okay Coach, let me see if I get the gist of the video so far. Environmentalist pagans are coming into your home at night and sodomizing you. God, that must be one hell of a time.
  Intruder!Weasel: Oh yeah! Oh, help protect the trees!
  Coach Dave: We are being sodomized by the left.
  Intruder!Weasel: Oh! Social and welfare reform!
  Coach Dave: The values of the left have been in fact, SHOVED! DOWN! OUR! THROAT!
  Intruder!Weasel: Oh, the spirit of the woodlands cries out in agony at man's environmental destruction.
  Coach Dave: Oh wow wow wow...
• Coach Dave: ...and good has become evil, and evil has become good.
  Weasel: And up has become down! And sky has become ocean! And there are earthquakes, rivers of blood, forty years of darkness! Dogs and cats, living together, mass hysteria!
• At one point, Coach Dave claims that the left has emasculated men through name-calling. Weasel then proceeds to spend the next three minutes calling Dave a pussy, in which he coins the nickname "Crying Dave Daubenmire."

JaredMiltonTV once more

• "I LOVE THIS FUCKING SWAG!"

Louie Crunch

PS3inDaPleezle

• The beginning in the video already starts to go down hill with the Pretty Fly for a White Guy intro...
  PS3: Hey you wassup, its yo boy PS3inDaPleezle here..
  Weasel: (face-palming) Oh god no.... A wannabe gangster... This... this is what I got to do....

Mario Teh Plumber one last time

• This episode introduces us to Nassuman, who makes the episode more funny.
  • At the beginning of the episode, Nassuman tries and utterly fails to hijack the show from Weasel. To make it even more pathetic, after failing and being held at gunpoint by Weasel, he actually tries to ask Weasel for a ride because he lost his car. Weasel sums up the situation perfectly:
  Weasel: OK, so let me get this straight, you come in here, hijack my channel, claim creative rights over my best show...and call me a stain, and now you're saying you need me to drive you somewhere.
  Nassuman: (beat) (quickly turns to the audience) ....Mario Teh Plumber!
• Weasel and Nassuman's horrified reactions to Mario's Sonic "toy collection."
  Nassuman: Now, I'm no expert, but, but, but...I don't think you have Sonic in the Ice Chamber. I think you have...a Sonic toy...inside of a CUP.
• After Mario smashes a glass with a hammer.
  Weasel: Who keeps giving this guy tools?!
• Their baffled reaction to Mario dancing on his bed.
• Their interpretations on the various title cards Mario Teh Plumber uses for the list are good for a laugh too.

Halloween Special (machias Houlton)

• machias Houlton: Itsallashamanditsaveryprofitableonetoo.
  Weasel: Nexttimeyoumakeavideolikethisyoumaywanttoputanapostropheinyoursentencessoyourcharacterlookslesslikearobotwhenhetalks.
• machias Houlton: I have seen people grinding their teeth.
  Weasel: ANG ANG ANG ANG ANG ANG
  machias Houlton: I have seen people muttering incantations using torrial tongues.
  Weasel: Libby looby looby gooby looby gooby looby lam lam
  machias Houlton: I have heard horrible things.
  Weasel: HORRIBLE THINGS.
• Weasel: Can you imagine this guy actually trying to leave a party that's like, packed?
  machias!Weasel: Will you please excuse me I am trying to leave this party because it is being run by the devil excuse me I am trying to get away from your sinful ways. Halloween is the spawn of the devil and I am trying to leave this party. I am not animated very well because I am free.
• Weasel: Man! Halloween sounds like it was engineered by the who's who of conspiracy theorist villains!
  • After machias lists off the conspirators.
  Weasel: Damn! Us liberals have a lot of titles to live up to, don't we? I mean, according to this guy, I'm an atheist liberal environmentalist humanist satanic devil worshiping communist fascist. That's like seven things!

CoachDaveTV Lazer Battle

Holiday Special/MEEZYMURDERFACE

2014

CoachDaveTV Once More!

• Coach Dave: SUCK IT UP BABY!

3PACTVHD

• 3PAC: Yeeh...I've been doin' mah thang for a while now, you know I be fuckin' up the game 'n shit...
  Weasel: Yeah, son, I fuck up games too, yo. One time in preschool I lit the Candy Land board on fire. DAAAAAA-!
• The ending.

Trisha Paytas

xXtheamazingmasterofswagXx

• The title card:
  Card: Letting you know that xbox is the best and will always win
  Weasel: In its fight against Communism!
• His bafflement of the text to voice program's high pitch.[[labelnote]]The same program text to voice was used on Bonzi Buddy[/note]
  Weasel: (in a cracked voice) I am the best video producer on YouTube ever. I sound like a Borg drone that was made out of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. Like, Resistance Is Futile.
  • When the program tries to emote, it ends up flat.
  xXtheamazingmasterofswagXx: I am just spreading the truth and trying to keep everyone on this site safe!
  • Weasel's conclusion is that the voice synthesis program sounds like a whiny toddler.
  Toddler!Weasel: If you guys don't stop making fun of me, then I'm gonna make my teacher IP ban you from the swings and you'll never be able to swing in the playground again!
  • He shows what it's like if companies sold their product with the voice.
• xXtheamazingmasterofswagXx: No? Well then I'm also am very powerful thanks to the fact that I am the teacher of gaming.
  Prof!Weasel: Yes, I am Professor xXmasterofswag, your professor and I am here to teach you the master-ship of gaming. Look to the pupil to your left, now to your right. One of you will not pass my class.
• xXtheamazingmasterofswagXx: You guys are such hypercritical idiots!
  Weasel: Not just hypocritical, hypercritical. You see a regular hypocrite might last a few million years and then explode into a hypocritical nova. But a hypercrite has so much mass that it actually collapses in on itself and becomes Ted Nugent.
• xXtheamazingmasterofswagXx: OMG I am so angry.
  Weasel: (laughs) He's so annngggrrryy.
  (repeats two times)
  Weasel: I want to do an autotune episode now.
• xXtheamazingmasterofswagXx: So what? Are you afraid with me now?
  Weasel: I'll have to go with carrots..... I mean, no

Ted Nugent

• This episode has many funny moments. For starters, there's Weasel's skit concerning Ted Nugent's stance on hunting, complete with him killing plenty of animals with a gattling gun.
  Weasel: Ahhhhh! Thank God for all these creatures or I'd have to act like a fucking human being! Ahhhhhh!
  Weasel: Thank God for this bountiful harvest of gore! (maniacal laughter ensues)
  Weasel: If you don't like doin' this, you're fucking insane! Now where the hell are those Goddamn koalas? There they are! Ahhhhh!
• There's also this gem.
  '''Weasel (as Nugent): Ah shit. I've run out of crap to talk about. Oh maybe I'll just spin the wheel of conspiracy theory here. Ahh Benghazi!
• Although the funniest moment is hands-down his tangent mocking far right-wing conservatives as a whole.
  Weasel (With Southern Accent): And if you ain't wavin' your guns around in public, Obama and his gay lasers is gonna turn you into a gay, and then you're gonna like dick! Oh, God! And then you're gonna want health care for poor people! Sonuvabitch! The Commis are comin' for us! The Commis and the Mexicans! Care Bears are a sign of the devil! So is Fraggle Rock, and all them Communist-central shows! They's all come from the devil! The devil and Obama! They all over the place! I feel them crawlin' on me!

Captain Crazification...ish

• Weasel begins to do an episode on Captain Crazification, only for a little green gremlin to appear and explain why he doesn't deserve it.
  Gremlin: Rarrarararr!
  Weasel: He doesn't deserve it?
  Gremlin: Raaar!
  Weasel: Because he's an asshole? You know Mr Gremlin, you make a persuasive argument.
  • He then immediately regrets choosing not to do Captain Crazy when... Eugh... Peckella Von Peter appears on screen giggling. You can practically hear the despair.
  Weasel: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! (One intro later) MOTHERFUCKER! I can't escape, CAN I?! It's either one or the fucking other, isn't it?!
• This:
  Peckella: OH. EM. GEE.
  Weasel: NO. You have NO god.
  • And this:
  Peckella: I love Google+!
  Weasel: Proof it's from the devil, right there!
  • Really, the entire episode, especially considering how instead of horror, Weasel replies with barely restrained rage filled snarking.

Caiden Cowger again

Battlefield 315

• He and a friend of his did a short skit mocking how robotic and unnatural the video maker's conversation looked.
  Nasuman: Hello, I believe in grilled cheese sandwiches.
  Weasel: Oh no, why?

Glenn Beck Still Hates Video Games

• As Beck declares that Watch_Dogs teaches people to hack into mobile devices to see inside other peoples' bedrooms, Weasel sarcastically declares that people really want to see naked Glenn Beck.
• Weasel is flabbergasted upon noticing that there's a skull prop in Glenn Beck's studio.

Christmas Special

• At one point, Weasel gets so exasperated that he wishes that Christmas didn't exist. So a drunken Santa appears to show him what his life would be like if there was no Christmas. The alternate version of himself is doing a Hanukkah special, and then wishes that Hanukkah didn't exist. Then Jewish Santa appears to show that other version of weasel what his life would be like if Hanukkah didn't exist, where they find another version of Weasel lamenting the existence of "Non-Celebration December Day".
  • Not to mention Weasel lampshading that they skipped all the other holidays around christmas
• Everything to do with Lord Sagan
• "SAY THAT AGAINNNNNNN!"

2015

Pat McCrory

• Weasel starts the episode by angrily calling his subject a variety of colorful insults in place of his name.
• He mockingly portray’s [McCrory plan to deal with pollution as being to let it wipe out low income neighborhoods to build more oil wells.

JimProfitBolshevik

• Weasel eventually drops any pretenses of taking JPB seriously after he unironically uses the word “Bourgeois” to describe business owners.

Clevon America

• Weasel comments that Clevon’s lighting makes him look like a zombie, which makes him question why he would want alcohol banned if he was a zombie since it would help keep him preserved.
• “All. Alcoholics. Drink. Booze.” This line causes Weasel to laugh uncontrollably on-and-off for over a minute.
  Weasel trying to stop laughing: The line I’m gonna say is “No Shit”

Kill The Fear

• Weasel spends as much time in an uproar about Kill The Fear doing yard work while making his video as he does his actual points.

DAVE JOHNSON

• Because of the turn of event on this troll's conspiracy theory, Weasel concludes that Bruno Mars did WTC.
• When Johnson makes a cookie jar analogy when talking about a Civil War picture, Weasel chides him for making him hungry for cookies while he’s on a diet.
  • Johnson continues to make the cookie jar analogy and it cuts to Weasel eating cookies.:
  Weasel With His Mouth Full: Man, Fuck You

GMGameplays

• In the Mac Vs PC debate, Weasel compares PC to an Acrofatic asthmatic kid, Mac as The Smart Guy but freaks out with no task, and Ubuntu as the quiet goth kid.

The Vigilant Christian

• The fact that Vigilant Christian kept mistaking Superman and Batman as properties of Marvel is laughable in itself.

Uwe Boll

• Weasel mocking Uwe Boll's bashing of George Clooney's documentary on the Darfur conflict by addressing that he's basically throwing a tantrum over his own Darfur movie not being as successful.
  Weasel: So to translate this, what you're saying is you made a movie about Darfur and then George Clooney made a documentary about Darfur and then George Clooney's documentary did better than your Darfur movie, for obvious reasons, and instead of just being glad that word was getting out about Darfur, you're like "NO! MY MOVIE WAS THE BETTER DARFUR GENOCIDE MOVIE! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!"
• After hearing Uwe Boll state that he focuses on the movies when he makes his movies, Weasel responds by laughing hysterically and questioning Boll's claim while pointing at the posters of The Final Storm, Far Cry, House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark (2005) and Alone in the Dark II.

2015 Halloween Special!

• Throughout the video, Weasel mistakenly refers to the iPad that Jennifer gave her kid as an iPod. During the last third of the video, Weasel, as he's editing the video, interrupts the feeding to insult his past self for this mistake.
  Weasel: Oh, yeah, be high and mighty, Mrs. I-Gave-My-Kid-An-iPod.
  Post-Production!Weasel: (voiceover) Damn it, past me! Stop calling it a fucking iPod! It's an iPad! (cuts to him in his editing room) Why would you ever think that she was saying fucking iPOD!? NO ONE OWNS A FUCKING iPOD ANYMORE, YOU FUCK!

2016

Ray Comfort and Friends

• "You think YOU'RE nice?"
  Weasel: No.
  • "This guy is REALLY nice!"
    Weasel: Unless it's Purge Night.
• When Mr. Nice Guy's nose grows longer:
  Weasel: Oh shit! That's really aggressive cancer!
  • "Yeah you just push that face-boner back in, young man!"
• "Who hasn't [lied]?"
  Weasel: Danny Trejo.

CuteFuzzyWeasel

• The entire episode, which is abound with Self-Deprecation.
  UglyBaldBadger: IT'S TIME TO AGREE WITH THE TROLLS!!!
• The ending:
  CuteFuzzyWeasel: Man, pocket dimensions are weird.

Roosh V

Spirit Science

Once You Go Flat

• The absurdity of the situation is enough to give Weasel pause. The troll he's feeding is a flat-earthier, AND a holocaust denier!
  Troll: Anyway; It's me, it's the guy with the eye version 2-point-3.
  —>CuteFuzzyWeasel: Full disclosure; I watched that part like ten different times and I still have no idea what the fuck he's saying.

Tai Lopez (Pirate Edition)

Irwin Baxter (again)

2017

Gazi Kodzo

Paul LePage

Prager U

• Construction Worker!Weasel building a giant Strawman.
  Worker!Weasel: It's too top, I told you to reinforce the neck!
• When Dennis brings up how humans are infinitely valuable because they are all made in God's image, Weasel uses a picture of Morgan Freeman and someone made-up to look like Morgan Freeman as visual aids for his retort.

QuasiLuminouis

Mark Cuban

Rated D

• The Running Gag of Weasel ranting about the guy’s “Douchebag Music”.
  • It eventually gets to the point of Weasel asking his audience if they’ve ever wanted to punch music before.

Masturbation is Bad

• The entire damn episode. Weasel himself even calls it “The most fun I’ve ever had doing Feeding the Trolls”
• The fact that the video’s narration is done with a text to speech program by someone who obviously isn’t fluid in English.
  • Weasel eventually does a skit acting out the makers of the video in intentionally poor English.
• The video claims that masturbation is encouraged by advertisements. Weasel doesn't buy it.
  Weasel: Budweiser, man, look at this penis!
• Weasel’s horrified reaction when the video shows a picture of a half-naked child (thankfully censored out with a picture of a Yak)
• All of Weasel acting out the claims made in the video.
• This Gem-
  Weasel Yeah I would imagine that it would hurt to jerk off with a propane torch. And you’re not Hank Hill
• To top it off the video shows a pic of a Guy with a hyper muscular Arm.
  Weasel It’s Fiddler Crab Man!

More Flat Earthers

• The fact that this another “Talk-Like-A-Pirate Day episode” creates the humorous implication that even Golden Age pirates know that the Earth being flat is bullshit.

Halloween Special/Extreme Prophetic Gospel

• Weasel does the usual Halloween Intro only to find out that his Jack-O-Lantern has rotted due to the video being months late. Que Weasel hurling into the trash.
• When EPG announces that they’re trying to resurrect the dead, Weasel panics and starts preparing for a Zombie apocalypse.
• The Running Gag of Weasel asking for progressively more powerful weaponry to deal with the zombies.
• EPG recants an anecdote about them going to a morgue and asking the coroner if they could try raising the dead with the Coroner agreeing leads Weasel to postulate on whether the guy was gonna make a run for it or just agreed to it for his own amusement.
• The ending where a Zombie Apocolypse breaks out for real. They’re all poorly animated.

2018

Ajit Pai

• Apparently the Zombie Apocolypse from the previous episode is still going on.
• Everytime Weasel interupts Ajit Pai trying to introduce himself to give him a derisive nickname.
• When Ajit Pai references Star Wars in the video Weasel tells him that the video is missing something only to edit the screenshot of the video to make Ajit Pai look like Emperor Palpatine

Logan Paul

Paul Joseph Watson

• The clip of Alex Jones screaming at the the top of his lungs and acting like a fool edited to make him go Super Saiyan
• Weasel is pretty sure that we’re living in a simulation.
• Weasel imitating Paul’s overblown manner of speaking
• He somehow forgets Paul’s name halfway through the video.

Generation Films

• Generation Films spends his entire video unironically defending Thanos, trying to justify his actions, and pain him as a hero who could do no wrong to the point of absurdity.
• All of Weasel impersonating Thanos.
• At one point he wonders if there was a flat out Barney version in theaters where Thanos kindly asked the Avengers for the Infinity Stones.

Mr. Freeman

• Weasel ranting about how some guy cleared out the items he wanted to buy from a thrift store.
• “Welcome to Youtube/The Internet!”
• Weasel randomly asks how much does his audience think Mr. Freeman broke his arm jerking off before pondering the logistics of that since your bones get stronger with use.
• At one point Weasel realizes that the troll probably read Alan Moore and thinks he sounds smarter than he is. To punctuate this he cuts to him rubbing a copy of Watchmen against his chest while while moaning suggestively after the next time Freeman says something stupid.
• When Mr. Freeman crosses a red line in his animation Weasel mocks him by leaving to grab something he can use as a handbag he could clutch.
• At the end when Mr. Freeman dares people to leave a comment, Weasel obliges by unrolling a piece of paper and starts reading off a fairly typical Youtube comment in a Medieval English accent as if he was a Squire reading off a royal decree.
  Weasel (In a Regal Tone of Speaking) My comment is. As. Follows. Christ what a bunch of insipid winging. If I wanted to listen to the nihilistic rantings of a mid-2000s Hot Topic genetic disaster, I would go back in time and hang out with the dink from High School who talked non-stop about how Hitler was just misunderstood. Cool animation though.

Holiday Special

• Weasel mocks the use of text to speech programs instead of voice actors by portraying the characters as robots.
• “Power Cells are Love, Power Cells are Life.”
• One of the characters keeps asking the other about what religion he practices, going down the entire list which Weasel imitates the two with robot versions of religious deities.
• Said list includes the girl casually asking the guy if he follows the Church of Satan.

2019

Jesse Lee Peterson

• Weasel introducing his subject by calling him a “Real Life Talking Crab Anus”. The thumbnail even has one edited over Jesse’s face.

North Korea Isn’t Real

• The troll has a sense of humor about on par with a 13 year old boy, laughing at everything with the letter P in it because it has Peepee. Weasel himself even asks if he even needs to do anything as the troll is doing his job for him.

Extra Credits The Soul Collector

• Weasel’s disturbed reactions to the troll, which are eerily similar to his reactions to Peckcilla Von Peter
• At one point the Collector drinks fake blood from a wine glass. Que the squicked out reaction from Weasel.
  • Later on the Soul Collector mentions drinking pumpkin seed oil prompting an even worse reaction from Weasel.
• Weasel eventually stops being scared of the Soul Collector on account him constantly repeating himself throughout the video.
  • He ends the video by mocking the Soul Collector constantly repeating himself.

2020

Are You Screwed? Tom Bennet Halloween Special Holiday Special

2021

Owen Benjamin Chocolate Gentlemen James Ramsey

Other Videos

50 Reasons Trees Affect Society

• The entire video is hilarious, running entirely off of Insane Troll Logic take up to eleven. It helps that it’s a spot on parody of one of his homophobic troll’s videos (More specifically 50 Reasons Gay Marriage Affects Society), down to the voice and vocal mannerisms.
• Number 3-
  RepresentingTruthz “Trees are green and green is the color of Libya’s Flag under Gaddafi. Coincidence? I think not.
• Because a company takes cremated remains and plants a tree in them it’s only a matter of time before they start putting trees in babies.
• This gem.
  RepresentingTruthz Recent studies show that 69.312% of deaths by ax are caused by trees picking up axes and throwing them at passers by.
• On that note only flamethrowers and a lot of duck tape can stop the trees.

Joshua and the Promised Land

• Weasel's reaction to a particular snippet of wisdom from Danny the Perverted Doberman.
  Danny: Listen, Joshua, sometimes a "no" means "maybe," I'llz grant you that.
  (cuts to a stunned Weasel)
  Weasel: An Italian floating sparkling Doberman pedophile ghost just stole a young boy from his family of nudist, pig-skin catbone dolls and ripped him out of space-time to a poorly rendered Ancient Egypt to watch the Biblical Exodus as reenacted by people in badly fabricated fursuits, and you're going to argue the semantics of "no." (beat) I can't, I-I can't eve-.

• As a flock of birds are flying over the desert:
  Weasel: HOLY SHIT, IT'S THE BIRDEMIC! IF ONLY THE DYING CRILL AND THE ASH BORERS HADN'T PISSED OFF THE BIRDS SO MUCH! NOOOOO-!!!

Cutfuzzyweasel Reads: My Immortal

• Weasel gives Ebony/Enoby the voice of Emperor Palpatine.
• "The Big Book of Vogon Poetry"
• "MCR ROX!!"
• "'—and Hagrid'. [Beat] You stay the fuck away from Hagrid..."
• "THEY'RE ALWAYS FUCKING DEPRESSED! EVERYONE IN THIS GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT IS DEPRESSED!!"

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