Funny / A Dose of Buckley

Doses

• From a video called "Respect" about the Penelope Soto contempt of court case:
  Judge: How much is your jewelry worth?
  Penelope Soto: It's worth a lot of money.
  Judge: How much?
  Penelope Soto: Like...Rick Ross.
  Buckley: It's worth Rick Ross...you loopy cunt!
• Stop. Fucking. Raping.
• From his video on Rob Ford, the then-mayor of Toronto:
  • "Does this guy look like a crack addict to you? (shows a picture of a female crack addict) Most crack addicts are twitchy, skinny fuckers. (shows a picture of Rob Ford, with the caption "Stereotypical Bacon Addict") But Rob Ford looks like he has never missed a meal; it looks like he's invented a few others".
  • "Everyone seems to have an opinion, ranging from having him removed from office to public hanging, which you really need some strong rope for. Plus, he doesn't even have a neck."
  • Later, in the "Body Shaming" video, Buckley shows two photos of a person holding a beer, one with Rob Ford and the other with a bikini-clad girl. Buckley then asks "Which one of these photos makes you more excited to have a beer?", and claims "If you said the Rob Ford one, you're a filthy fucking liar".
• His video about the KFC charity hoax begins with the intro of his "Scumbags of the Internet" series, right before moving on with the regular dose.
  "May the Colonel himself rise from the dead to deep-fry my balls and season them with eleven herbs and spices."
• In "Justin Bieber: A Year In Review", Buckley comments on how lame Justin's drag race was (going 60mph in a Gallardo) and says he should arrested for "acting like a pussy in a badass vehicle"
  • This gem:
  Buckley: Bail is set at a laughable $2500, which is probably why he was smiling like a smug asshole in his mugshots."
  (Gilligan Cut to Justin's mugshot with a speech bubble)
  Justin: 2500?! Where will I come up with that kind of money? Oh wait, did one second pass? I just made another $10000.
  • "Justin Bieber in: The Slow and the Not-so-Furious."
  • In the same video when he wonders why Justin Bieber would waste money at a brothel considering the number of rabid female fans he has
  "Justin Bieber has thousands upon thousands of legal girls who would let him fuck them in the ear and call them grandma if that's the type of thing he's into."
• His "Jocks vs Nerds" video
  "They're laughing at how obsessed you are over sweaty men who shower together after they spend all day falling on top of each other."
• The entire "Buckley Sells Out" segment in "Selling Out". From Buckley's cursing being censored (to where it becomes a Cluster Bleep-Bomb), to his endless shilling of Burger King and bashing on McDonald's (to the point where the red/white cross symbol in "DOSE" is replaced by the Burger King logo), it's a downright hilarious depiction of what would happen if Buckley really did sell out.
• This small bit from Apple's Diversity Report:
  Buckley: "'Paulk has a medical condition that impairs her vision and hearing, and her guide dog, Gemma, is referred to as the "seeing iDog."' (laughs) Oh, man, 'seeing eye dog'... FUCK YOU, TIM! FUCK YOU!"
• In the Kaley Cuoco video, he rips on a particular part of Redbook which says to "add an avocado to your sandwich" as one of 28 things to do in February, and emphasizes that people who look for intellectually stimulating arguments about advancing females in today's society, in Redbook, are dumber than people who need a whole page to figure out how to add an avocado in their sandwich.
• The ending of His "Fines For Bad Reviews Video. Wrong on so many levels? Yes. Funny? Hell yes. Especially the creepy laugh that gives The Joker a run for his money.
• From the "Etsy" video:
  • Buckley attempts to pronounce the mineral unakite as Unikitty, and said character appears with the caption "Please don't use me for 'self-love'".
  • In the same "healing stone" listing, the seller claims that obsidian is used to bring good fortune and prosperity, and Buckley states it can also be used to build a portal into the Nether.
• The existence of Larry, The Legal Eagle. For a good cause, of course, but worth a giggle or two simply because of the musing of an eagle giving you various bits of legal advice.
• In "Child Molesting Priests", he puts up a list of the World's Most Disturbing Crimes where he lists "Forcing Someone to listen to Kesha" as one of them.
• In his first video on gay marriage, he points out the irony of New York Giants player David Tyree complaining about gay marriage as he has made a living off "catching and not letting go of balls" while showing pictures of football players tackling each other.
• In his video about rap dances, he showcases several rap-dances and comments on them
  • Saying that the dance based off Weekend at Bernie's looks like someone having a stroke and if he saw someone doing it, he'd call 911.
  • Stating that the "Stanky Leg" sounds like someone has a smelly, wounded leg
• In his "Valentine's Day" video:
  Buckley: (in a calm voice while piano music plays in the background) Buy your girlfriend a $30,000 ring because it's the middle of February. Looking for the perfect gift for your sweetheart this year? Get them a fucking car. Nothing says "I love you" than spending as much money as you can.
• From the "Gangnam Style" rant:
  • His "NOT a Musical Autopsy" of the song has the lyrics in Korean.
  • In a "blink and you'll miss it" slide: "Oppa Gundam Style".
  • In his closing remarks, he claims that South Korea's national sport may as well be Starcraft.
  "The rest of the world knows, if you log into a server, and you're matched up head-to-head with a Korean, you have two options: quit or lose."
• From "The CRTC vs Porn":
  Buckley: "I mean how do you even caption a girl gagging on a dick anyway?"
  blowjob sounds played over a "censored" screen with "gak gak gak gak" captioned at the bottom
• From his video on George Lucas, Buckley displays Rey's name as "Rey Somethingorother"
  • Buckley creating a mock DVD case for The Force Awakens with his review quote: "It's pretty fuckin' good"
  • Buckley stating that Lucas shouldn't give people other reasons to hate him as he's already given fans Greedo shooting first, Jar-Jar Binks, Midi-chlorians, an annoying young Anakin, Padme dying of a broken heart, Vader's weird yelling and the entirety of Attack of the Clones
• In his video about "Buzzfeed vs. White Men":
  • Buckley speaks with an exaggerated Canadian accent when Buzzfeed announces openings for Canada-centric writers.
    "I can spew oot some drebbell aboot the ev-ah-lution of poutine for a few loonies and toonies, eh? Get some gas money for my kare, so, where do I sign up, eh?"
  • When Buckley finds out in the posting that white male writers need not apply.
    "Well, fuck my caribou and call me Caillou, I'm both of those things! So, you want a Canadian writer, who can write about Canada, but you want to exclude about 40 percent of Canadians, possibly closer to 81 percent if you said 'no white people at all', not even women."
• His "President Trump" video begins with him laughing over the fact that Americans elected Donald Trump as president.
• From his "Harry Styles' Fans vs Spotify" dose, Buckley refers to Fifty Shades of Grey as "Fifty Shades of Mom Porn".
• In his "Target in Canada" video, Buckley's explanation for why Target Canada failed: "Basically, because Canadians are fucking morons!"
• In the "90s Rap: Honestly? Not Much Better", Buckley's rapsona Lil [QuikSkope42069] ^note read as Lil Square Brackets Quick Scope 42069 and his single "Cummin' Buckets".
  • A year later he would go on to record and release a full version.
• From "K-Pop: Corrupting The Youth"
  Buckley: "DPRK-pop. You'll love it! *creepy voice with red screen* Or else!"
• In "YouTube's New Monetization Policy: You Get Nothing", Buckley portrays YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki as a pimp and content creators as her hoes.

The Worst Songs of 20XX

2010:

• Commenting on Soulja Boy's delivery: "He sounds like the wheelchair kid from Malcolm in the Middle. (doing an impression) This...right here...is my...swag."
• On Kesha's "We R Who We R":
  • "(before playing the first notes) Cue the Nintendo sounds."
  • "I don't think Jesus would appreciate being on your necklace Kesha, considering most nights, it's probably replaced with a pearl one, if you know what I mean. And if you don't, I mean jizz... on your neck. Whore."
• After introducing Katy Perry's "Peacock": "Wow! I wonder what this song is about? Katy Perry wants to see my brightly-coloured Indian bird? No, it's definitely her desire to see penises. We get it Katy Perry, your character is an Attention Whore, emphasis on the whore."
• Describing the dance for YG's "Toot It and Boot It" as "Trying to force a deuce and then kick someone in the shin." His interpretation of the song: YG farting on a woman and running away after banging.

2011:

• On Beyonce's "Run the World":
  • Buckley posts the definition of "misogynist", listing himself as a synonym.
  • After explaining that out of 204 recognized sovereign states in the world, only 14 of them (in December 2011) had a female head of governement.
    "'Girls, we run 6.86% of the world' wasn't quite catchy enough."
• On Hot Chelle Rae's "Tonight, Tonight":
  • "Bet you never thought a rock song would appear on one of these lists, right? Well, it still hasn't."
  • Buckley's Imagine Spot for how Hot Chelle Rae came up with the lyrics for the second verse...
    HCR Guy 1: Hey bro, I got a sick idea for that "Tonight, Tonight" song.
    HCR Guy 2: Bro, let's not mess with it too much. We gotta say "Whoa" and "La La La" as much as we can in three and a half minutes.
    HCR Guy 1: Hear me out, though, bro. I was just watchin' The Hangover for, like, the 258th time last night. You know that big guy with the beard?
    HCR Guy 2: Yeah, bro! Zach Galifianakis; that guy is fucking hilarious! One man wolfpack, bro!
    HCR Guy 1: I know, bro. So, let's put a line in the song where, like, I got a tattoo that looks like this crazy chick I was datin', but it's a cross between her and that dude.
    HCR Guy 2: Fucking sick idea, bro!
• "(imitating Nicki Minaj's "Roman" voice) She choking on a cock as big as a thigh!"
• During the dissection of Y.C.'s "Racks" in the worst songs of 2011, he illustrates the existing meanings of the word "rack". It ends with him photoshopping Katy Perry's cleavage on cleavage on cleavage.
• On The Rej3ctz' "Cat Daddy":
  • "For years, black people have accused white people of copying shit from them. And for the most part, the African-American community is quite correct. Whitey took Rhythm And Blues and created Rock & Roll. Whitey took Rap, made Nu Metal. So when black people decided to steal something from white culture, why in Lord Buddha's name did they choose Hipsters, the most hated thing in white culture?"
  • "Much like Cali Swag District's 'Teach Me How to Dougie', 'Feline Father' here will be the only song The Rej3ctz do that anyone will ever care about. So, I hope they save their money; those Hot Topic shirts aren't cheap."
• On his #1 song, Kreayshawn's "Gucci Gucci":
  • Buckley throws up his hands and says "I give up. I seriously give up on humanity".
    Image caption: Fuck you, humanity!
  • "Ooooh, you sell Adderalls! Nuthin' more gangsta than selling perscription ADD pills. Watch out for this girl!"
  • Buckley attempts to decipher the background sample.
    Buckley: What the fuck is that thing that repeats over and over during the song?
    Sample: One big room, full of bad bitches.
    Buckley: One big pool, full of bad fishes? (Sample is played again) One big room, full of fat bitches? (Sample is played for a third time) One big girl, full of sandwiches?

Hate Comments response video:

• After a string of backlash he got from angry fans of the songs he listed on his Worst Songs of 2010 & 2011 videos, he took their hate comments and made them eat their own words with comedic results.
• Several of the comments are poorly written; however, this example written in ALL CAPS takes the cake:
  Comment: JUSTIN BIEBER IS AWOSME UR A WERDI ONE U HAVE NO STASTE IN MUSIC JUSRT CAUZ UR NOT FAMOUS IR JUST JEALOUS
  Buckley: I'll have to buy a Mongoloid-to-English dictionary before I can respond to that one.

2012:

• Toby Keith's "Red Solo Cup" is summarized as the singer "professing his love to a goddamn piece of disposable colored plastic drinkware".
• On Madonna's "Give Me All Your Luvin'":
  "[Madonna] had better give up now and call it a career, before she releases 'Like a Geriatric'."
• Buckley comments on what "Whistle" is about:
  "How fucking novel. It's a song about blowjobs."
  "Good one, Flo Rida, now soccer moms are singing along to songs about blowjobs with their 8-year-old kid in the back seat."
• While discussing Rihanna's "Birthday Cake":
  Rihanna: ♪ Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. ♪
  Buckley: (After listening to another verse) Hmm, wonder what the next line's going to be?
  Rihanna: ♪ Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. ♪
  Buckley: Brutal.
• On Future's "Turn on the Lights":
  Buckley: He's off-beat. He's off... key, I guess, if there's a key that this is in. I'd say that in this case, they should have auto-tuned him; but it sounds like they did - it just didn't work!
  (Gilligan Cut to an auto-tune machine with two speech bubbles from off-screen technicians)
  Technician 1: "Is it broken?!"
  Technician 2: "No, there's just no setting to fix this guy's voice!"
  Buckley: That's right, he somehow managed to fuck up the tune - while using auto-tune!
• On Juicy J's "Bandz A Make Her Dance":
  • Buckley snarks about him throwing thousand-dollar bricks of money at strippers when he can just get free porn from the Internet.
  Buckley: Someone needs to tell Juicy J about the Internet. There's all sorts of free tits on there.
  (image shows a Google search for "tits" with 521,000,000 results and the caption "That's a lot of tits!")
• The sheer fact that the Number 1 Position wound up being a FOUR-WAY TIE between four different Nicki Minaj songs.
  Buckley: And there it is, the 10... well, 13... Worst Songs of 2012.
  • He compares the beat for Pound the Alarm to the sound of someone raping a squirrel with a ziptie.
  • In response to the lyric, "Bad bitches like me is hard to come by," from Minaj's "Starships", Buckley quips, "If only it were a little bit harder..."
  • When Minaj uses lyrics from "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in "Starships", Buckley jokes that Minaj forgot most of the lyrics.
    Caption: You know the lyrics (though apparently Nicki forgot the rest)

2013:

• Anything involving Icona Pop crashing their car into bridges. Complete with a picture of a bridge saying, "What did I ever do to you, Icona Pop!?"
• From Kesha's "Crazy Kids":
  • "I do not like Black Eyed Peas and ham. I do not like them, will.i.am."
  • When Buckley attempts to transcribe will.i.am's verse, it's so incomprehensible he writes "What... The... Serious... Fuck".
• While discussing Taylor Swift's "22":
  Buckley: Never mind forever 21, this girl is forever 13!
  • Followed by this:
  Buckley (speaking): Mr and Mrs. Swift, your daughter might be bipolar and have a developmental disorder where she believes that she's still a teenager. Please, use some of her pop star riches to get her a therapist. I know she's lived an overly-sheltered life of vacation homes and homeschooling and whatnot, but at some point, she needs to become an adult. This whole act is starting to not be cute at 22, now 23, years old. It's gonna be really fuckin' creepy when she's 30.
  Buckley's letter:
  An open letter to Taylor Swift's parents
  Dear Mr. and Mrs. Swift: Tell your fucking child she's an adult!
• While discussing Cher Lloyd's "I Wish":
  Buckley: "Oh, I'm skinny and only 5'2"; no man will ever want me." Give your fucking head a shake!
• While tearing into Drake's "Started from the Bottom" Buckley points out that Drake hardly knows what the bottom looked like, considering he grew up in lower middle-class with a single mother who worked as a teacher, and Drake himself was on Degrassi: The Next Generation as a teenager, which is the most well-known Canadian TV series south of the border along with Trailer Park Boys. So that's not exactly "starting from the bottom"...
  Buckley: I guess (imitating Drake) "Started from the middle, caught a few lucky breaks along the way, and now I'm here" just doesn't have much flow to it, though.
• His entire tearing up of Karmin's "Acapella", and concluding that "Everything about this song is wrong on so many levels that it's a miracle it's not higher on this list. But it's not... because the final three manage to be even. Fucking. Worse."
  • A meta one in that while dressing down the song he points out how Karmin doesn't know what "Acapella" means and explains what it is before referring to Rockapella's "Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego" and saying you're welcome for that Ear Worm now stuck in your head. If you look it up on YouTube you'll find a few comments that say either "Buckley brought me here" or "Thank you Buckley."
• On Major Lazer's song "Bubble Butt":
  • After hearing the hook...
    Buckley: Do I actually have to give you an explanation for this?!
    Caption: No! We paid $0 for this and are entitled to more! Keep talking, puppet!
  • His Sarcasm Failure at the song being about... well, women with fat asses. And then Tyga jumps in... (spoilered to protect you from Squick. You have been warned...)
    Tyga: OK, open up your Bubba Gump, let me see your bumper
    The booty so smooth, can't believe is not butter
    I go in from under, she wetter than a surfer
    I ate the pussy fast, I'm about to start burpin'-
    Buckley: (Still deadpan, but clearly Squicked out) Oh, and that. Thanks for that image, Tyga.
    Tyga: <burps> You're welcome!
• "Ways Trinidad James may have become rich before starting his rap career" (in regards to how "All Gold Everything" is bragging about his wealth... even though it's basically his first commercialized song)
  • Was he secretly a doctor by day and investment banker by night before he started his rap career?
  • Or, was his previous income from, let's say, 'Less-than-legitimate sources'. (caption: "Stuff you don't need to know about and won't ask about if you know what's good for you")
  • Or, Option 3; is he full of fucking shit?! (caption: "He's not")
• At the Number One position was Miley Cyrus' "We Can't Stop". How bad was it? After listening to the first verse, Buckley was so bored that he fell asleep!!
  Buckley: (snores) No, Father O'Malley, please don't touch me there... (snaps awake) Huh, what?! Fuck! Oh shit, I'm still recording.
• This gem at the end of his Honorable Mentions, on Ace Hood's "Bugatti":

  Ace Hood: "I woke up in a new Bugatti! (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!) I woke up in a new Bugatti-!"

  Buckley: "Well get the fuck out of it, and stop passing out at the luxury car dealership! Get your own fucking home!"

2014:

• On Meghan Trainor's "All About That Bass":
  • Instead of displaying the opening lyrics to "All About That Bass" when it plays, he writes "You know it by now... you FUCKING know it...".
  • The "SINCE WHEN IS THIS (shows a treble clef) MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN THIS (shows a bass clef)?" poster.
• On Rae Sremmurd's "No Flex Zone":
  • "Yes, young African Americans believe they need to 'get to the money', when every song increases the amount of fucking chains that are in fashion. One was fine, then you needed two, now it's five. Inflation's hit the fucking ghetto hard!"
  • "The No Flex Zone for Everyone Except Rae Sremmurd Who Can Flex All They Want".
• Comparing "Hangover" to an actual hangover.
• After pointing out that both Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger wrote "Hello Kitty" (the #1 song on the list), he shows a huge plea written to them, asking—nay, begging—them to never, ever, EVER have sex.
  • Then he says that the offspring (or rather the material it'll produce) would be more horrifying than a horde of Directioners surrounding you while you're holding a single signed photo of a shirtless Niall.
  • Even better is how all of this is hilariously prophetic.

2015:

• On Justin Bieber's "I'll Show You":
  • On the opening line:
    Justin Bieber: ♪ My life is a movie... and everyone's watching. So let's get to the good part... and past all the nonsense.♪
    Buckley: If Justin Bieber's life is a movie and I was forced to watched it, I would've walked out 15 minutes in and asked for a refund.
  • Buckley changes the song's title to "I'll Show You How Many Excuses I Can Come Up with in 3 Minutes".
• On Sia's "Alive":
  • Buckley claims that Sia's singing is beautiful the same way that someone would call an ugly baby beautiful, "because you feel like you have to, or everyone will call you an asshole".
  • His reaction to her long, screechy, "I'm aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!"
    "You're alive and still breathing? Not for much longer by the sounds of it! Seriously, would someone please unclamp the car battery from her nipple?!?"
• On Rae Sremmurd's "Throw Sum Mo":
  • Buckley has to apologize for claiming that he would never have to worry about pronouncing Rae Sremmurd's again name after last year's list.
  • Buckley suspects that Nicki Minaj's part was recorded half-assedly on the very first take.
• On Meghan Trainor's "Dear Future Husband":
  • "Okay, seriously? Why would anyone want to marry this woman? Open doors for me and maybe I'll let you kiss me. By the way, the left side of the bed is mine, fuck your apnea."
  • Buckley fixing the description for Tumblr◊.
• On Ariana Grande's "Focus":
  • Buckley believes that the singer on the hook was Dr. Teeth from The Muppets.
  • Also, he suspects that the weird hook was done as a joke and was only supposed to be a scratch track until they recorded the real hook later, but got left in anyway.
• On Britney Spears' and Iggy Azalea's "Pretty Girls":
  • Buckley compares Iggy to a mannequin.
    One of these has life in its eyes. The other is Iggy Azalea.
  • "The 'We're just so pretty!' part in particular makes my fucking teeth hurt."
  • Buckley suggests replacing the "bees to the honey" line with "flies to the feces".
• On Manika's "I Might Go Lesbian":
  • Buckley calls Manika the "R-Rated Taylor Swift".
  • Because of the song's overprocessing, Buckley compares Manika's voice to Kesha meshed up with the girls from Clueless, with said impression done inside a running clothes dryer.
• Buckley's response to the opening line of "Bitch I'm Madonna".
  Madonna: ♪ You're gonna love this! ♪
  Buckley: You know, judging by its position on my list^note #2, I don't think I am.
• On Silento's "Watch Me", his #1 worst song for 2015:
  • Buckley lists off each rap dance featured in the song.
    "Wait, wait, hold on a second. Do I Whip, Nae-nae, Stanky Leg, Break My Legs, Bop, Yule, Superman, then Duff? Or do I Nae-nae, Whip, Bop, Stanky Leg, Duff, Yule, then Superman?"
  • "[Silento] sounds like Chris Tucker fucked Minnie Mouse, and their kid grew up to be a shitty rapper."
  • Buckley compares Silento to a little kid constantly telling his/her mom to watch them do a dive at the public pool.
  • Saying that "Watch Me" will be Silento's only hit and that he should save his money or the next thing he will be singing is "watch me sleep in this box, box, box, box, box".
  • Buckley comments on how Silento cannot live up to his name.

2016

• In the intro, he claims that he broke part of the Geneva Convention after playing brief clips of annoying sounds in various pop songs released in 2016. Of the songs sampled, one made the list proper^note Kiiara's "Gold" and nearly half of them made "honourable" mentions^note Hailee Steinfeld and Zedd's "Starving", Maroon 5 and Kendrick Lamar's "Don't Wanna Know", Jon Bellion's "All Time Low" (which was later Autopsied), and Desiigner's "Panda".
• The conversation he assumes happened between a producer and an executive overseeing Flo Rida's "Zillionaire".
• After revealing that Taylor Swift has a writing credit on "This Is What You Came For", Buckley believes that she got the lyrics from an old Trapper Keeper of hers with a photo of a guy that has "you" scribbled on it a hundred times.
• On Rihanna's "Work":
  • Buckley is unable to make out the lyrics after the first line. The question mark on each subsequent line grows larger.
  • Calling Drake the least gangsta rapper since Will Smith.
    "The East Coast-West Coast feud in Canada is Drake versus a Canada goose that tried to eat some of his poutine while he was visiting Vancouver."
• While covering Yo Gotti's "Down in the DM", Buckley believes that Yo Gotti is attracted to a girl's bowel movements.
• On Kiiara's "Gold":
  • His utter confusion at the hook.
    "Ummm... what the fuck is this?"
  • Regarding the dripping noise and echoy vocals, Buckley believes that Kiiara recorded the song in a shower with a leaky faucet. He also calls it the audio version of Chinese water torture.
  • His slam poetry.
• On Shawn Mendes' "Treat You Better":
  Buckley: (using a stadium announcer effect for his voice) Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the r/niceguys National Anthem.
• On Iggy Azalea's "Team":
  • "You're already so artificial that if you were a food ingredient, health nuts would be trying to get you banned from cereal."
  • A "Greeaaat...." caption appears as Buckley states Iggy Azalea has a new album to be released in 2017.
• On Zay Hilfigerrr and Zayion McCall's "Juju on That Beat":
  • The captions accompanying Crime Mob's album cover both times it appears, where he ponders the semantics of the name of the title track, which has nothing to do with either song in question.
  • While outlining the steps to make a viral rap dance song, Buckley states that the fourth step is to write original, interesting lyrics.
    Zay Hilfiger: Hey! Hey! Okay! Okay!
    Buckley: Okay, that part's too hard, so we'll just skip it.
• On Meghan Trainor's "No", his #1 worst song for 2016:
  • The conversation he imagines will occur between Meghan Trainor and a man who tries to talk to her.
  • Buckley claims Meghan Trainor has enough SJW anthems to start a continent, which is followed by an illustration of the theoretical continent.
  • Buckley states he will henceforth refer to Meghan Trainor as "Meghan Tumblr".
• In his "honourable" mentions:
  • When adding Rae Sremmurd's "Black Beatles", he says that the duo aren't even the "Black Herman's Hermits".
  • He mentions that putting Desiigner's "Panda" on the list proper would've been cheating. Also, Buckley doesn't even bother listing the actual lyrics, instead listing "Drinkin' lean, driving expensive cars, fucking women in different states, having lots of money, drugs..."

2017

• On Kesha's "Praying":
  • "[This song] is being lauded by actual music critics as this deeply personal, beautiful, artistic... fucking just jizz all over the album cover and be done with it!"
  • Buckley says he would much rather listen to "Tik Tok" and "We R Who We R", despite hating those two songs, 100 times rather than having to listen to "Praying" again.
  • "...because bad things maybe" (closeup of Dr. Luke's face) "okay, probably happened to her."
• On The Chainsmokers' "Paris":
  • Buckley interprets the line, "If we go down then we go down together," to mean the couple in the song are forming a "sex pact" and will only "69 each other" when performing sexual acts.
  • "I've never wanted lyrics to have a face so I could punch it before, but here we are."
• On Niall Horan's "Slow Hands":
  • Buckley puts on an exaggerated Irish accent while quoting a magazine article discussing the song.
  • The conversation he assumes happened between Niall's songwriters:
    "Quick! We need a simile for this song! It's about sex and we gotta record it in like 30 seconds!"
    "Oh, a song about sex, that's a new one. Okay, okay, uh, how about, uh...sweat..."
    "Yeah, sweat. Sweat's good."
    "...dripping down..."
    "Okay, yeah. Sensual. I'm with ya."
    "...our dirty laundry!"
    "...uh...wait, what? Like unwashed underwear that smells like balls?"
• On Sam Hunt's "Body Like a Back Road":
  • Buckley's terrible Southern accent, where he manages to sound like a 19th century plantation owner and Canadian at the same time.
    "All the things Ah likes in mah women, I tell you what! Hoo-wee, come here, girl! You got yourself a body like a back road! I only ride on you when there's too much traffic on the main roads, if you know what I mean! Bring your dusty, gravelly ass over here and let ol' Sam take a ride on it with the chains still on the tires 'cause no one cares!"
  • "I'd better finish this review before I end up calling him Sam Cunt...fuck, I just did."
• On Noah Cyrus's "Stay Together":
  • Buckley points out that the song is about drinking, smoking and partying at a nightclub, even though Noah would have been 16 or 17 when the song was recorded and not old enough to actually do these things. "Although she is already a little too old for Roy Moore."
  • Buckley parodying Taylor Swift's "Look What You Made Me Do" when assuming that the song was originally intended for Miley Cyrus:
    Caption: "Sorry, the old Miley can't come to the phone right now... Why? Oh... because everyone got bored of it and it wasn't making as much money anymore."
• On Post Malone's "Rockstar":
  • Buckley claims that ten Asher Roths exist for every Macklemore and Eminem. Cut to a slide with Roth's Wikipedia page.
    Caption: "What this Wiki editor meant to say was 'he is perhaps ONLY known for his debut single "I Love College".' "
• On Katy Perry's "Chained to the Rhythm" and "Bon Appetit", Buckley points out Katy's hypocrisy in making a Protest Song about how the music industry pacifies viewers with brainless pop songs ("Chained to the Rhythm") but releasing another brainless pop song immediately afterwards ("Bon Appetit").
  Buckley: Sorry, what was that about how Katy Perry no longer makes vapid pop songs about nothing? I couldn't hear you over this song about telling guys that it's TIME TO EAT HER PUSSY!!
• On Lil Pump's "Gucci Gang":
  • Instead of displaying the lyrics to the hook, Buckley displays, "See title, repeat several times... ."
    "How predictable was this? Like, tell me the first time you heard there was a song called 'Gucci Gang' by a person named Lil' Pump that you couldn't guess that the chorus would just be the words 'Gucci Gang' mumbled over and over? If you couldn't, you mind if I go live in the cave you just crawled out of?"
  • Because of Lil' Pump's mumbling, Buckley has to take Genius' word on the lyrics.
  • Buckley believes that Lil' Pump's inspiration for the song is the "Ten Worst Songs" series.
    Caption: "Where'd he get the inspiration for the song? I assume by watching every one of my Worst Songs lists for the last 8 years and going 'this guy retarted, Rack City, Racks, Teach Me How to Dougie, O Let's Do It, and Juju On That Beat go hard!' "
  • Buckley calls Lil' Pump "Lil Sewage Pump".
  • Buckley finishes the review by commenting that he'd like to go a whole year without generic "bitches-and-money" rap songs being popular, but that he'd also like to stumble across a $1 brothel containing 30 clones of Bebe Rexha. Which is hilarious, because the following year, he ended up putting her at the bottom of his yearly Worst Songs list along with Florida-Georgia Line.
• On Taylor Swift's "...Ready for It?"
  • Buckley introduces the song as "dot-dot-dot, Ready for It".
  • "Hey Taylor, when I said you should do something other than sing about boys, I didn't mean you should make shitty rap songs about boys!"
  • Buckley recycles his list on Swift's songs about boys, with a caption quipping that the constant reuse of the list constitutes a commendation from Greenpeace.
  • Buckley wonders if Swift only worked with yes-men when creating the song.
• On Iggy Azalea's "Mo Bounce", Buckley's number 1 pick for the year.
  • "Get ready for the last 6 Dubstep fans to comment 'Umm, Dubstep is still very popular, what about [insert unknown EDM artist here]?!' "
  • Buckley suspects that Jared Fogle directed the music video, which contains scenes of kids dancing with smash cuts to Iggy Azalea's buttocks.

2018

• On Bebe Rexha and Florida-Georgia Line's "Meant to Be":
  • "First line and FGL reveal their foot fetish. Foot fetish people are weird. I know it's 2018, and we're not supposed to judge, but you're weird. Fuck you, foot people!"
  • "[This] song straight up sucks serious salami."
• On Zedd, Mareen Morris, and Grey's "The Middle": "By the way, when three DJs are on the stage together, who even decides who gets to hit the space bar to start the song?"
• On Lauv's "I Like Me Better", more specifically, its hook:
  • "911? Yes, I believe I'm having a stroke..."
  • "What... the fuck... is that?! I know it probably a producer fucking around with a vocal or something, but it sounds like a violin before it needs to make a '#MeToo' allegation."
• On New Kids On The Block's "80s Baby": "Holy fuck, it's 'Buzzfeed: The Song'! When this got released, you know the Stopera brothers were erect for a full fucking week!"
• On Meghan Trainor's "Let You Be Right": "Oh, good. Meghan Tumblr's moved on from sounding like the 60s to sounding like the 70s; at this rate, she'll sound like a modern pop artist around...2035."
• On 6ix9ine's "Fefe":
  • When Buckley shows a photo of Murda Beatz, the producer of the song, Buckley comments that the "only thing he'd murder is a craft IPA".
  • Buckley thinks that 6ix9ine and (the late) XXXTentacion are Xbox gamertags of 12-year old pant pissers playing Fortnite. Buckley also wonders if the two rappers ever played Rocket League together.
  • Buckley pronounces 6ix9ine as "Six-ix Nine-ine".
  • Buckley refers to 6ix9ine's look as "a unicorn [shooting] a James Dean-grade rainbow load in his face".
  • Buckley calls 6ix9ine a "SoundClown rapper".
  • "Keep Lil Pumpin' them out" which leads to the next song on the list... Lil Pump's "Esskeetit".

Musical Autopsies

• From his Wiz Khalifa Musical Autopsy of "Black and Yellow":
  Buckley: By the same logic used by the illogical dipshits commenting on YouTube, "Black & Yellow" can be about a bee, Michael Keaton's Batman, a taxi, a tiger, fucking Pikachu!
  • Buckley's deviation from his normal "Musical Autopsy" catchphrase at the end:
  Buckley: This has been Musical Autopsy. Fuck your mothers!
• From his musical autopsy of "Grenade":
  "This sounds like it was written by Dr. Seuss in his Emo years. 'I would get blown up by a grenade/I would impale myself on a blade/I would jump in front of a moving train/I'd even get shot right in my brain'.
  • Buckley's bafflement on Bruno Mars catching a grenade.
  "Are you trying to woo some girl in a warzone?!"
  • He claims that Bruno was high when he wrote the song.
• From his autopsy of One Direction, Buckley compares One Direction to The Beatles, then goes on to justify his comparison:

"Oh, shit! How pissed are you right now? How fucking ready are you to stop this video, go to my channel, click 'unsubscribe', and comment how much you hate me right now? Comparing One Direction to The Beatles?! Blasphemy! But it's really not. I'm gonna bet that 99 percent of the people listening to this were not alive when The Beatles first performed in the USA in 1964. Their first big singles, "I Want to Hold Your Hand", "She Loves You", and "Love Me Do", are poppy songs with incredibly simple lyrics designed to dampen the panties of teenage girls everywhere. If you had been the same age you are now and you currently don't like One Direction, Justin Bieber, or any other male pop act, you would have hated The Beatles at the time... When they hit the shores of North America in 1964, they were no better than the boy bands of today, and anyone who disputes that is simply in denial."

• From his autopsy of Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble":
  • "Drop that beat, Taylor!".
  • "You don't need [a telescope] to see this coming a mile away", referring to Taylor yet again writing another song about feeling sad about boys.
  • Buckley refers to Taylor's entire discography (as of 2012) as "I'm Sad About Boys Vol 1-4".
• His autopsy of "Dark Horse":
  • The rant about rapper shout outs.
  • About this song counting as a number 1 single for Juicy J ^note  He's the featured artist , even though most listeners are here for Katy
  Buckley: I could have been on this fucking track and it still would have been #1!
  • "Capable of anything and everything, huh? Well, there you go, boys! Katy takes it in the dumper!"
  • After listening to a lyric:
  Katy: Boy, you should know what you're falling for.
  Buckley: It's nice of her to give the guy a warning that she's a psycho bitch.
  • Dissecting Juicy J's verse
  Juicy J: She'll eat your heart out like Jeffrey Dahmer
  Buckley: Jeffrey Dalmer ate more than just the heart.
• His Musical Autopsy of "Fine China":
  Chris Brown: It's like all the girls around me don't have faces
  Buckley: Well, they don't when you get done with them.
• From his autopsy of Pink's "True Love":
  "Also, are you really stealing lines from Kelly Clarkson? This is just as bad as when you were stealing lines from The Dark Knight. Granted you stole it from the dead guy so he's not going to miss it.
  • At the same time:
    Captions: The "You" (in "My Life Would suck without You) in this case referred to Cheeseburgers
    Speech bubble at the corner of the screen: That's not nice Buckley, she has struggled with her weight!
  • Commenting on Lily Allen's feature:
  Buckley: Lily Allen - the voice of an angel and the mouth of a sailor! What's not to love?!?!
• His Musical Autopsy of "Call Me Maybe":
  "She's just waiting for torn Levi's to give her a shout and already she's mental for him."
  • Buckley thinking that Carly Rae wants her prospective man to call her Maeby.
  • His Alternate Character Interpretation of the entire song is that it's a Tsundere Jumping Off the Slippery Slope and becoming a Yandere.
  (pauses song) "Okay. Now see, this is the point where she's gone fucking nuts."
• Forensically dissecting the 'lyrics' of LMFAO and taking it all very seriously.
  "I don't remember a single Bruce Lee movie when he was at a nightclub rocking."
  • This accompanied by a picture of Bruce Lee with the words "Bruce Lee in... Enter The Nightclub!
  • Buckley responds to the lyric, "I'm running through these hoes like Drano."
  Buckley: Like Drano through hoes? Wouldn't that kill them?
• From his musical autopsy of "Stupid Hoe":
  • Buckley states that when he first heard the song's title, he thought the title was that of Nicki Minaj's autobiography.
  • He interprets the line "I piss one bitches" literally and thinks that Nicki actually urinates on women.
  • After hearing Nicki hold a long note, Buckley thought that nothing else was more annoying. Cue the chorus:
  Buckley: Well, I fucking imagined wrong, didn't I?
  • During the closing remarks:
    Minaj: I am the female Weezy!
    Buckley: Not something to be proud of.
• From his autopsy of "Automatic"
  • The human lifespan according to Buckley:
  First 5 years: Can't do shit, you're a shitty baby
  6 - 18 years: Can do limited shit, but you have no money to do fun shit
  19 - 70 years: Can do lots of shit
  70+ years: Can do limited shit because you're fucking old and gross
  Death: Can't do anything, you're dead. You're nothing
• His autopsy of Meghan Trainor's "Title" suddenly turns into an installment of Advice No One Asked For, and he even plays the outro music before realizing he's reviewing a song.
  • Buckley stating that trying to get with someone who already has a significant other is like betting on a team that's down by 21 points in the final quarter.
• In the Autopsy for Beyonce's "7/11", him trying to "dance" to the song on the floor.
• In the "Pop Princesses" autopsy, Buckley makes jokes about Selena Gomez' babyface.
  Buckley: Did you see that photoshoot from V magazine? They've got her posing topless with makeup on that makes her look like a fucking child pageant contestant, like JonBennet Ramsey rose from the dead and became part Mexican.
• Although it may be a tad horrifying when you stop to think about it, him saying that "beating bitches" gets the Rihanna seal of approval in his review of her song "Bitch Better have my Money" is surprisingly humorous.
• In the autopsy for Omi's "Cheerleader":
  Omi: She is always in my corner right there when I want her...
  Buckley: Hey, isn't that nice? It's a song about a guy who likes a girl that he's with. How could this possibly go wrong?
  Omi: All these other girls are tempting, but I'm empty when you're gone...
  Buckley: Uh-oh! (scene switches to a Pokémon-style view of Omi as the lead "Pokemon" and the "other girls" as the battling "Pokemon") Other girls appear; they use tempt! It's somewhat effective!
• Two moments from Alessia Cara's Here
  • A Dose of Buckley Karaoke
  • "Hey, I'll just wait out here for you to give me a ride home while you finish getting drunk and stoned! I've always wanted to be part of a PSA!"
• From Taylor Swift's "Look What You Made Me Do":
  • Responding to Swift's defenders, who note that "people pick on her!":
    Buckley: Boo-fuckin'-hoo. [Swift] can cry herself to sleep on a pile of money, and somehow wake up on an even bigger pile.
  • Buckley compares the buildup and beat drop to "a buildup to the most boring and unsatisfying orgasm ever."
  • Responding to the lyric "I got a list of names and yours is in red underlined. I check it once; then I check it twice," Buckley refers to Swift as "Santa Cunt".
• From Dua Lipa's "New Rules":
  • Satirizing the repetitive lyrics:
    Buckley: What does she tell herself, she tell herself?
  • In response to the chorus' unintelligible lyrics, Buckley suspects Dua Lipa attended the "Sia School of Enunciation".
  • Buckley compares the chorus' background instrument to a nuclear facility's alarm.
  • Buckley suggests ideas for Dua Lipa's theme of "responsible pop," such as a new budget and getting to work on time.
• From G-Eazy's "Him & I" featuring Halsey:
  • Responding to Halsey's claim of being an alternative artist:
    Buckley: If [Halsey] meant alternative to good, sure.
  • Buckley believes G-Eazy is as generic as store brand paper towels.
  • Buckley explains he digitally removes all breaths from the audio of his videos.
    Buckley: You never hear me breathe because I remove them all. Now that you know this, you'll never not notice it again.
• From Nicki Minaj's "Yikes":
  • After the intro, which contains the line, "Drop the strings on 'em," Buckley comments on how the song features no stringed instruments.
    Buckley: Sorry, where are the strings? I'm hearing three piano keys over top of a trap beat. I guess "string" is rap slang for "not having any stringed instruments in a song at all."
  • Discussing the line, "All you bitches Rosa Parks, uh-oh, get your ass up, uh," Buckley sneaks a visual gag with the caption "Yikes, indeed... ."
  • During Buckley's "all entertainers are clowns" rant, he photoshops clown make-up and a clown nose on Minaj's face.
  • Buckley ends the autopsy with the same line he used in his "Stupid Hoe" autopsy.
    Minaj: Ooh, I've been the same. Ain't shit changed. This ain't nothing new.
    Buckley: Not something to be proud of.
• Buckley's Luke Bryan impression during his autopsy of "Most People Are Good." He sounds like a southern Kermit the Frog.

Advice No One Asked For

• His Flat "What" at the one writer saying how she is pregnant with her stepbrother's child.
• His suggestion for dealing with a naming dispute with a mother-in-law: Abort baby. Blend fetus. Label jar with the desired name.
• One writer complains about his wife's lack of libido. The fact that they only did it 9 times in a year sends Buckley into a laughter fit.
• The fact that the Google search "boobs bums and hoo hoos" actually found porn.

Other

• Buckley reads tweets from rappers. It's exactly what it sounds like. And it is hilarious.
  • The parody of the Reading Rainbow theme in the intro.
  • Some of the tweets themselves
  Gucci Mane: I got picks of nikki n my bed I got tape off rocko begging 4 his ?got pix of 3sum k kaior. Dm asksem ciara kelly fantasia mya buffy maliah?

  Tyga: First off Let's address the Elephant in the room. Every 1 knows Burberry has HIV dats why nobody fuk with him.

  Gucci Mane: fucked bufy in d ass
  Buckley: Apparently, the Vampire Slayer likes taking it in the dumper.
  • After a particularly garbled and nonsensical tweet from Gucci
  Buckley: This appears to potentially be a stroke. I think Gucci should get some medical attention here.

• In the One Direction edition of "Tweeting Rainbow":
  • Buckley claims he would haunt his hypothetical kids if they didn't mourn his death more than they mourned Zayn leaving 1D.
    Ghost!Buckley: Hey! Remember when Zids, or Xian, or Zork or whoever the fuck left that band, and you cried, and you couldn't eat or drink for like two days? And then I died a few years later, and you stopped for tacos after the funeral? Yeah, well fuck you! I'm gonna make sure every house you live in creaks and has doors slamming in the middle of the night until you end up in a fucking mental institution, which is where I wanted to put you back when you were crying about some pop singer, but your mom said "it was just a phase"!
  • His tombstone reads: "His last words were: 'how the fuck are there still no flying cars?!'"
  • Buckley pronouncing "TBH" as "tuh-buh".
• Buckley dresses up as Tourette's Guy for Halloween.
• From his YouTube's Copyright and Fair Use Policy parody:
  • The fake mascot, "Petey the Play Button".
  • Comparing YouTube to a snobby stripper at a gentleman's club, with Universal telling YouTube to take off "That Video I Don't Like".
  • When Buckley finds a Google representative used the wrong "you're"...
    Petey: Durr... English are hard!
• This video. Yes, that is Buckley's voice as the PA announcer. There's something about him sounding so cheery in contrast to his usual cynical self that you can't help but laugh.

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