Funny / A Dose Of Buckley

Doses

  • From a video called "Respect" about the Penelope Soto contempt of court case:
    Judge: How much is your jewelry worth?
    Penelope Soto: It's worth a lot of money.
    Judge: How much?
    Penelope Soto: Like...Rick Ross.
    Buckley: It's worth Rick Ross...you loopy cunt!
  • Stop. Fucking. Raping.
  • From his video on Rob Ford, the then-mayor of Toronto:
    • "Does this guy look like a crack addict to you? (shows a picture of a female crack addict) Most crack addicts are twitchy, skinny fuckers. (shows a picture of Rob Ford, with the caption "Stereotypical Bacon Addict") But Rob Ford looks like he has never missed a meal; it looks like he's invented a few others".
    • "Everyone seems to have an opinion, ranging from having him removed from office to public hanging, which you really need some strong rope for. Plus, he doesn't even have a neck."
    • Later, in the "Body Shaming" video, Buckley shows two photos of a person holding a beer, one with Rob Ford and the other with a bikini-clad girl. Buckley then asks "Which one of these photos makes you more excited to have a beer?", and claims "If you said the Rob Ford one, you're a filthy fucking liar".
  • His video about the KFC charity hoax begins with the intro of his "Scumbags of the Internet" series, right before moving on with the regular dose.
    "May the Colonel himself rise from the dead to deep-fry my balls and season them with eleven herbs and spices."
  • In "Justin Bieber: A Year In Review", Buckley comments on how lame Justin's drag race was (going 60mph in a Gallardo) and says he should arrested for "acting like a pussy in a badass vehicle"
    • This gem
    Buckley: Bail is set at a laughable $2500, which is probably why he was smiling like a smug asshole in his mugshots."
    (Gilligan Cut to Justin's mugshot with a speech bubble)
    Justin: 2500?! Where will I come up with that kind of money? Oh wait, did one second pass? I just made another $10000.
  • His "Jocks vs Nerds" video
    "They're laughing at how obsessed you are over sweaty men who shower together after they spend all day falling on top of each other."
  • The entire' "Buckley Sells Out" segment in "Selling Out". From Buckley's cursing being censored (to where it becomes a Cluster Bleep Bomb), to his endless shilling of Burger King and bashing on McDonald's (to the point where the red/white cross symbol in "DOSE" is replaced by the Burger King logo), it's a downright hilarious depiction of what would happen if Buckley really did sell out.
  • This small bit from Apple's Diversity Report:
    Buckley: "'Paulk has a medical condition that impairs her vision and hearing, and her guide dog, Gemma, is referred to as the "seeing iDog."' (laughs) Oh, man, 'seeing eye dog'... FUCK YOU, TIM! FUCK YOU!"
  • In the Kaley Cuoco video, he rips on a particular part of Redbook which says to "add an avocado to your sandwich" as one of 28 things to do in February, and emphasizes that people who look for intellectually stimulating arguments about advancing females in today's society, in Redbook, are dumber than people who need a whole page to figure out how to add an avocado in their sandwich.
  • The ending of His "Fines For Bad Reviews Video. Wrong on so many levels? Yes. Funny? Hell yes. Especially the creepy laugh that gives The Joker a run for his money.
  • From the "Etsy" video:
    • Buckley attempts to pronounce the mineral unakite as Unikitty, and said character appears with the caption "Please don't use me for 'self-love'".
    • In the same "healing stone" listing, the seller claims that obsidian is used to bring good fortune and prosperity, and Buckley states it can also be used to build a portal into the Nether.
  • The existence of Larry, The Legal Eagle. For a good cause, of course, but worth a giggle or two simply because of the musing of an eagle giving you various bits of legal advice.
  • In "Child Molesting Priests", he puts up a list of the World's Most Disturbing Crimes where he lists "Forcing Someone to listen to Kesha" as one of them.
  • In his first video on gay marriage, he points out the irony of New York Giants player David Tyree complaining about gay marriage as he has made a living off "catching and not letting go of balls" while showing pictures of football players tackling each other.
  • In his video about rap dances, he showcases several rap-dances and comments on them
    • Saying that the dance based off Weekend at Bernie's looks like someone having a stroke and if he saw someone doing it, he'd call 911.
    • Stating that the "Stanky Leg" sounds like someone has a smelly, wounded leg
  • In his "Valentine's Day" video:
    Buckley: (in a calm voice while piano music plays in the background) Buy your girlfriend a $30,000 ring because it's the middle of February. Looking for the perfect gift for your sweetheart this year? Get them a fucking car. Nothing says "I love you" than spending as much money as you can.
  • From the "Gangnam Style" rant:
    • His "NOT a Musical Autopsy" of the song has the lyrics in Korean.
    • In a "blink and you'll miss it" slide: "Oppa Gundam Style".
    • In his closing remarks, he claims that South Korea's national sport may as well be Starcraft.
    "The rest of the world knows, if you log into a server, and you're matched up head-to-head with a Korean, you have two options: quit or lose."
  • From his video on George Lucas, Buckley displays Rey's name as "Rey Somethingorother"
  • In his video about "Buzzfeed vs. White Men":

Ten Worst Songs of the Year

  • "Ten Worst Songs of 2010":
    • After introducing Katy Perry's "Peacock":
    "Wow! I wonder what this song is about. Katy Perry wants to see my brightly-coloured Indian bird? No, it's definitely her desire to see penises."
    • Commenting on Soulja Boy's delivery: "He sounds like the wheelchair kid from Malcolm in the Middle. (doing an impression) This...right here...is my...swag."
    • Describing the dance for YG's "Toot It and Boot It" as "Trying to force a deuce and then kick someone in the shin." His interpretation of the song: YG farting on a woman and running away after banging
  • "Ten Worst Songs of 2011":
  • After a string of backlash he got from angry fans of the songs he listed on his Worst Songs of 2010 & 2011 videos, he took their hate comments and made them eat their own words with comedic results.
  • "Ten Worst Songs of 2012":
    • On Madonna's "Give Me All Your Luvin'":
    "[Madonna] had better give up now, call it a career, before she releases 'Like a Geriatric'."
    • Buckley comments on what "Whistle" is about
    "How fucking novel. It's a song about blowjobs."
    "Good one, Flo Rida, now soccer moms are singing along to songs about blowjobs with their 8-year-old kid in the back seat."
    • While discussing Rihanna's "Birthday Cake":
    Rihanna: "Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake."
    Buckley: (After listening to another verse) "Hmm, wonder what the next line's going to be?"
    Buckley: "Brutal."
    • On Future's "Turn on the Lights":
    Buckley: "He's off-beat. He's off... key, I guess, if there's a key that this is in. I'd say that in this case, they should have auto-tuned him; but it sounds like they did - it just didn't work!"
    (Gilligan Cut to an auto-tune machine with two speech bubbles from off-screen technicians)
    Technician 1: "Is it broken?!"
    Technician 2: "No, there's just no setting to fix this guy's voice!"
    • The sheer fact that the Number 1 Position wound up being a FOUR-WAY TIE between four different Nicki Minaj songs
    Buckley: "And there it is, the 10... well, 13... Worst Songs of 2012."
    • He compares the beat for Pound the Alarm to the sound of someone raping a squirrel with a ziptie.
  • "Ten Worst Songs of 2013":
    Tyga: OK, open up your Bubba Gump, let me see your bumper
    The booty so smooth, can't believe is not butter
    I go in from under, she wetter than a surfer
    I ate the pussy fast, I'm about to start burpin'-
    Buckley: (Still deadpan, but clearly Squicked out) Oh, and that. Thanks for that image, Tyga.
    • This gem at the end of his Honorable Mentions, on Ace Hood's "Bugatti":
    Ace Hood: "I woke up in a new Bugatti! (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!) I woke up in a new Bugatti-!"
    Buckley: "Well get the fuck out of it, and stop passing out at the luxury car dealership! Get your own fucking home!"
  • "Ten Worst Songs of 2014":
    • After pointing out that both Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger wrote "Hello Kitty" (the #1 song on the list), he shows a huge plea written to them, asking—nay, begging—them to never, ever, EVER have sex.
      • Then he says that the offspring (or rather the material it'll produce) would be more horrifying than a horde of Directioners surrounding you while you're holding a single signed photo of a shirtless Niall.
      • Even better is how all of this is hilariously prophetic.
    • On Meghan Trainor's "All About That Bass":
      • The "SINCE WHEN IS THIS (shows a treble clef) MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN THIS (shows a bass clef)?" poster.
      • Instead of displaying the lyrics to "All About That Bass" when it plays, he writes "You know it by now... you fucking know it..."
    • Comparing "Hangover" to an actual hangover.
    • "The No Flex Zone for Everyone Except Rae Sremmurd Who Can Flex All They Want".
  • "Ten Worst Songs of 2015":
    • On Justin Bieber's "I'll Show You":
      • On the opening line:
      Justin Bieber: ♪ My life is a movie... and everyone's watching. So let's get to the good part... and past all the nonsense.♪
      Buckley: If Justin Bieber's life is a movie and I was forced to watched it, I would've walked out 15 minutes in and asked for a refund.
      • Buckley changes the song's title to "I'll Show You How Many Excuses I Can Come Up with in 3 Minutes".
    • On Sia's "Alive":
      • Buckley claims that Sia's singing is beautiful the same way that someone would call an ugly baby beautiful, "because you feel like you have to, or everyone will call you an asshole".
      • His reaction to her long, screechy, "I'm aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!"
      "You're alive and still breathing? Not for much longer by the sounds of it! Seriously, would someone please unclamp the car battery from her nipple?!?"
    • On Rae Sremmurd's "Throw Sum Mo":
      • Buckley has to apologize for claiming that he would never have to worry about pronouncing Rae Sremmurd's again name after last year's list.
      • Buckley suspects that Nicki Minaj's part was recorded half-assedly on the very first take.
    • On Meghan Trainor's "Dear Future Husband":
      • "Okay, seriously? Why would anyone want to marry this woman? Open doors for me and maybe I'll let you kiss me. By the way, the left side of the bed is mine, fuck your apena."
      • Buckley fixing the description for Tumblr.
    • On Ariana Grande's "Focus":
      • Buckley believes that the singer on the hook was Dr. Teeth from The Muppets.
      • Alternatively, he suspects that the hook was done as a joke and was only supposed to act as a placeholder, but got left in anyway.
    • On Britney Spears' and Iggy Azalea's "Pretty Girls":
      • Buckley compares Iggy to a mannequin.
      • "The 'We're just so pretty!' part in particular makes my fucking teeth hurt."
      • Buckley suggests replacing the "bees to the honey" line with "flies to the feces".
    • On Manika's "I Might Go Lesbian":
      • Buckley calls Manika the "R-Rated Taylor Swift".
      • Because of the song's overprocessing, Buckley compares Mainka's voice to Ke$ha meshed up with the girls from Clueless, with said impression done inside a running clothes dryer.
    • Buckley's response to the opening line of "Bitch I'm Madonna".
    Madonna: ♪You're gonna love this!♪
    Buckley: You know, judging by its position on my listnote , I don't think I am.
    • On Silento's "Watch Me", his #1 worst song for 2015:
      • Buckley lists off each rap dance featured in the song.
      "Wait, wait, hold on a second. Do I Whip, Nae-nae, Stanky Leg, Break My Legs, Bop, Yule, Superman, then Duff? Or do I Nae-nae, Whip, Bop, Stanky Leg, Duff, Yule, then Superman?"
      • "[Silento] sounds like Chris Tucker fucked Minnie Mouse, and their kid grew up to be a shitty rapper."
      • Buckley compares Silento to a little kid constantly telling his/her mom to watch them do a dive at the public pool.
      • "Watch me sleep in this box, box, box, box, box."
      • Buckley comments on how Silento cannot live up to his name.

Musical Autopsies

  • From his Wiz Khalifa Musical Autopsy of "Black and Yellow":
    Buckley: By the same logic used by the illogical dipshits commenting on YouTube, "Black & Yellow" can be about a bee, Michael Keaton's Batman, a taxi, a tiger, fucking Pikachu!
    • Buckley's deviation from his normal "Musical Autopsy" catchphrase at the end:
    Buckley: This has been Musical Autopsy. Fuck your mother!
  • In the Musical Autopsy of True Love:
    Buckley: Lily Allen - the voice of an angel and the mouth of a sailor! What's not to love?!?!
  • From his musical autopsy of "Grenade":
    "This sounds like it was written by Dr. Seuss in his Emo years. 'I would get blown up by a grenade/I would impale myself on a blade/I would jump in front of a moving train/I'd even get shot right in my brain'.
    • Buckley's bafflement on Bruno Mars catching a grenade.
    "Are you trying to woo some girl in a warzone?!"
    • He claims that Bruno was high when he wrote the song.
  • From his autopsy of Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble":
    • "Drop that beat, Taylor!".
    • "You don't need [a telescope] to see this coming a mile away", referring to Taylor yet again writing another song about feeling sad about boys.
    • Buckley refers to Taylor's entire discography (as of 2012) as "I'm Sad About Boys Vol 1-4".
  • His autopsy of "Dark Horse":
    • The rant about rapper shout outs.
    • About this song counting as a number 1 single for Juicy J note , even though most listeners are here for Katy
    Buckley: I could have been on this fucking track and it still would have been #1!
    • "Capable of anything and everything, huh? Well, there you go, boys! Katy takes it in the dumper!"
    • After listening to a lyric
    Katy: Boy, you should know what you're falling for.
    Buckley: It's nice of her to give the guy a warning that she's a psycho bitch.
    • Dissecting Juicy J's verse
    Juicy J: She'll eat your heart out like Jeffrey Dahmer
    Buckley: Jeffrey Dalmer ate more than just the heart.
  • His Musical Autopsy of "Fine China"
    Chris Brown: It's like all the girls around me don't have faces
    Buckley: Well, they don't when you get done with them.
  • From his autopsy of Pink's "True Love":
    "Also, are you really stealing lines from Kelly Clarkson? This is just as bad as when you were stealing lines from The Dark Knight. Granted you stole it from the dead guy so he's not going to miss it.
    • At the same time:
    Captions: The "You" (in "My Life Would suck without You) in this case referred to Cheeseburgers
    Speech bubble at the corner of the screen: That's not nice Buckley, she has struggled with her weight!
  • His Musical Autopsy of "Call Me Maybe":
    "She's just waiting for torn Levi's to give her a shout and already she's mental for him."
    (pauses song) "Okay. Now see, this is the point where she's gone fucking nuts."
  • Forensically dissecting the 'lyrics' of LMFAO and taking it all very seriously.
    "I don't remember a single Bruce Lee movie when he was at a nightclub rocking."
  • In the autopsy of "Stupid Hoe", he interpretates the line "I piss one bitches" literally and thinks that Nicki actually urinates on women
    • After hearing Nicki hold a long note, Buckley thought that nothing else was more annoying. Cue the chorus:
  • From his autopsy of "Automatic"
    • The human lifespan according to Buckley:
    First 5 years: Can't do shit, you're a shitty baby
    6 - 18 years: Can do limited shit, but you have no money to do fun shit
    19 - 70 years: Can do lots of shit
    70+ years: Can do limited shit because you're fucking old and gross
    Death: Can't do anything, you're dead. You're nothing
  • His autopsy of Meghan Trainor's "Title" suddenly turns into an installment of Advice No One Asked For, and he even plays the outro music before realizing he's reviewing a song.
    • Buckley stating that trying to get with someone who already has a significant other is like betting on a team that's down by 21 points in the final quarter.
  • In the Autopsy for Beyonce's "7/11", him trying to "dance" to the song on the floor.
  • In the "Pop Princesses" autopsy, Buckley makes jokes about Selena Gomez' babyface.
    Buckley: Did you see that photoshoot from V magazine? They've got her posing topless with makeup on that makes her look like a fucking child pageant contestant, like JonBennet Ramsey rose from the dead and became part Mexican.
  • Although it may be a tad horrifying when you stop to think about it, him saying that "beating bitches" gets the Rihanna seal of approval in his review of her song "Bitch Better have my Money" is surprisingly humorous.
  • In the autopsy for Omi's "Cheerleader":
    Omi: She is always in my corner right there when I want her...
    Buckley: Uh-oh! (scene switches to a Pokémon-style view of Omi as the lead "Pokemon" and the "other girls" as the battling "Pokemon") Other girls appear; they use tempt! It's somewhat effective!
  • Two moments from Alessia Cara's Here
    • A Dose of Buckley Karaoke
    • "Hey, I'll just wait out here for you to give me a ride home while you finish getting drunk and stoned! I've always wanted to be part of a PSA!"

Advice No One Asked For

  • His Flat "What." at the one writer saying how she is pregnant with her stepbrother's child.
  • His suggestion for dealing with a naming dispute with a mother-in-law: Abort baby. Blend fetus. Label jar with the desired name.
  • One writer complains about his wife's lack of libido. The fact that they only did it 9 times in a year sends Buckley into a laughter fit.
  • The fact that the Google search "boobs bums and hoo hoos" actually found porn.

Scumbags of the Internet

Other

  • Buckley reads tweets from rappers. It's exactly what it sounds like. And it is hilarious.
    • The parody of the Reading Rainbow theme in the intro.
    • Some of the tweets themselves
    Gucci Mane: I got picks of nikki n my bed I got tape off rocko begging 4 his ?got pix of 3sum k kaior. Dm asksem ciara kelly fantasia mya buffy maliah?

    Tyga: First off Let's address the Elephant in the room. Every 1 knows Burberry has HIV dats why nobody fuk with him.

    Gucci Mane: fucked bufy in d ass
    Buckley: Apparently, the Vampire Slayer likes taking it in the dumper.

    • After a particularly garbled and nonsensical tweet from Gucci
    Buckley: This appears to potentially be a stroke. I think Gucci should get some medical attention here.

  • In the One Direction edition of "Tweeting Rainbow":
    • Buckley claims he would haunt his hypothetical kids if they didn't mourn his death more than they mourned Zayn leaving 1D.
      Ghost!Buckley: Hey! Remember when Zids, or Xian, or Zork or whoever the fuck left that band, and you cried, and you couldn't eat or drink for like two days? And then I died a few years later, and you stopped for tacos after the funeral? Yeah, well fuck you! I'm gonna make sure every house you live in creaks and has doors slamming in the middle of the night until you end up in a fucking mental institution, which is where I wanted to put you back when you were crying about some pop singer, but your mom said it was just a phase.
    • His tombstone reads: "His last words were: 'how the fuck are there still no flying cars?!'"
    • Buckley pronouncing "TBH" as "tubuh".
  • Buckley dresses up as Tourette's Guy for Halloween.
  • From his YouTube's Copyright and Fair Use Policy parody:
    • The fake mascot, "Petey the Play Button".
    • Comparing YouTube to a snobby stripper at a gentleman's club, with Universal telling YouTube to take off "That Video I Don't Like".



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