Funny: A Dose Of Buckley

Rants

  • From a video called "Respect" about the Penelope Soto contempt of court case:
    Judge: How much is your jewelry worth?
    Penelope Soto: It's worth a lot of money.
    Judge: How much?
    Penelope Soto: Like...Rick Ross.
    Buckley: It's worth Rick Ross...you loopy cunt!
  • Stop. Fucking. Raping.
  • From his video on Rob Ford
    "Everyone seems to have an opinion, ranging from having him removed from office to public hanging, which you really need some strong rope for. Plus, he doesn't even have a neck."
  • His video about the KFC charity hoax begins with the intro of his "Scumbags of the Internet" series, right before moving on with the regular dose.
  • In "Justin Bieber: A Year In Review", Buckley comments on how lame Justin's drag race was (going 60mph in a Gallardo) and says he should arrested for "acting like a pussy in a badass vehicle"
    • This gem
    Buckley: Bail is set at a laughable $2500, which is probably why he was smiling like a smug asshole in his mugshots."
    (Gilligan Cut to Justin's mugshot with a speech bubble)
    Justin: 2500?! Where will I come up with that kind of money? Oh wait, did one second pass? I just made another $10000.
  • His "Jocks vs Nerds" video
    "They're laughing at how obsessed you are over sweaty men who shower together after they spend all day falling on top of each other."
  • The entire' "Buckley Sells Out" segment in "Selling Out". From Buckley's cursing being censored (to where it becomes a Cluster Bleep Bomb), to his endless shilling of Burger King and bashing on McDonald's (to the point where the red/white cross symbol in "DOSE" is replaced by the Burger King logo), it's a downright hilarious depiction of what would happen if Buckley really did sell out.
  • This small bit from Apple's Diversity Report:
    Buckley: "'Paulk has a medical condition that impairs her vision and hearing, and her guide dog, Gemma, is referred to as the "seeing iDog."' (laughs) Oh, man, 'seeing eye dog'..."
    • FUCK YOU, TIM! FUCK YOU!
  • In the Kaley Cuoco video, he rips on a particular part of Redbook which says to "add an avocado to your sandwich" as one of 28 things to do in February, and emphasizes that people who look for intellectually stimulating arguments about advancing females in today's society, in Redbook, are dumber than people who need a whole page to figure out how to add an avocado in their sandwich.
  • The ending of His "Fines For Bad Reviews Video. Wrong on so many levels? Yes. Funny? Hell yes. Especially the creepy laugh that gives The Joker a run for his money.
  • Anytime Larry the Legal Eagle shows up. Both informative and funny!

Worst Songs of the Year

  • From the worst songs of 2010 video:
    "Wow! I wonder what this song is about. Katy Perry wants to see my brightly-colored Indian bird? No, it's defiantly her desire to see penises."
    Commenting on Soulja Boy's delivery: "He sounds like the wheelchair kid from Malcolm in the Middle. (doing an impression) This...right here...is my...swag."
  • Describing the dance for YG's "Toot It and Boot It" as "Trying to force a deuce and then kick someone in the shin."
    • His interpretation of the song: YG farting on a woman and running away after banging
  • From the worst songs of 2011:
  • From the worst songs of 2012 video:
    "[Madonna] had better give up now, call it a career, before she releases 'Like a Geriatric'."
    • Buckley comments on what "Whistle" is about
    "How fucking novel. It's a song about blowjobs."
    "Good one, Flo Rida, now soccer moms are singing along to songs about blowjobs with their 8-year-old kid in the back seat."
    Rihanna: "Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake."
    Buckley: (After listening to another verse) "Hmm, wonder what the next line's going to be?"
    Buckley: "Brutal."

    Buckley: (On Future's "Turn on the Lights") "He's off-beat. He's off... key, I guess, if there's a key that this is in. I'd say that in this case, they should have auto-tuned him; but it sounds like they did - it just didn't work!"
    (Gilligan Cut to an auto-tune machine with two speech bubbles from off-screen technicians)
    Technician 1: "Is it broken?!"
    Technician 2: "No, there's just no setting to fix this guy's voice!"
    • The sheer fact that the Number 1 Position wound up being a FOUR-WAY TIE between four different Nicki Minaj songs
    Buckley: "And there it is, the 10... well, 13... Worst Songs of 2012."
    • He compares the beat for Pound the Alarm to the sound of someone raping a squirrel with a ziptie.

  • From his "Worst of 2013" list:
    Tyga: OK, open up your Bubba Gump, let me see your bumper
    The booty so smooth, can't believe is not butter
    I go in from under, she wetter than a surfer
    I ate the pussy fast, I'm about to start burpin'-
    Buckley: (Still deadpan, but clearly Squicked out) Oh, and that. Thanks for that image, Tyga.
    • This gem at the end of his Honorable Mentions, on Ace Hood's "Bugatti":
    Ace Hood: "I woke up in a new Bugatti! (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!) I woke up in a new Bugatti-!"
    Buckley: "Well get the fuck out of it, and stop passing out at the luxury car dealership! Get your own fucking home!"
  • From "The Worst Songs of 2014":
    • After pointing out that both Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger wrote "Hello Kitty" (the #1 song on the list), he shows a huge plea written to them, asking—nay, begging—them to never, ever, EVER have sex.
      • Then he says that the offspring (or rather the material it'll produce) would be more horrifying than a horde of Directioners surrounding you while you're holding a single signed photo of a shirtless Niall.
    • The "SINCE WHEN IS THIS (shows a treble clef) MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN THIS (shows a bass clef)?" poster.
      • Also, instead of displaying the lyrics to "All About That Bass" when it plays, he writes "You know it by now... you fucking know it..."
    • Comparing "Hangover" to an actual hangover.

Musical Autopsies

  • From his Wiz Khalifa Musical Autopsy of "Black and Yellow":
    Buckley: By the same logic used by the illogical dipshits commenting on YouTube, "Black & Yellow" can be about a bee, Michael Keaton's Batman, a taxi, a tiger, fucking Pikachu!
    • Buckley's deviation from his normal "Musical Autopsy" catchphrase at the end:
    Buckley: This has been Musical Autopsy. Fuck your mother!
  • In the Musical Autopsy of True Love:
    Buckley: Lily Allen - the voice of an angel and the mouth of a sailor! What's not to love?!?!
  • From his musical autopsy of "Grenade":
    "This sounds like it was written by Dr. Seuss in his Emo years. 'I would get blown up by a grenade/I would impale myself on a blade/I would jump in front of a moving train/I'd even get shot right in my brain'.
    • Buckley's bafflement on Bruno Mars catching a grenade.
    "Are you trying to woo some girl in a warzone?!"
    • He claims that Bruno was high when he wrote the song.
  • His autopsy of "Dark Horse":
    • The rant about rapper shout outs.
    • About this song counting as a number 1 single for Juicy J note , even though most listeners are here for Katy
    Buckley: I could have been on this fucking track and it still would have been #1!
    • "Capable of anything and everything, huh? Well, there you go, boys! Katy takes it in the dumper!"
    • After listening to a lyric
    Katy: Boy, you should know what you're falling for.
    Buckley: It's nice of her to give the guy a warning that she's a psycho bitch.
    • Dissecting Juicy J's verse
    Juicy J: She'll eat your heart out like Jeffrey Dahmer
    Buckley: Jeffrey Dalmer ate more than just the heart.
  • His Musical Autopsy of "Fine China"
    Chris Brown: It's like all the girls around me don't have faces
    Buckley: Well, they don't when you get done with them.
  • From his autopsy of Pink's "True Love":
    "Also, are you really stealing lines from Kelly Clarkson? This is just as bad as when you were stealing lines from The Dark Knight. Granted you stole it from the dead guy so he's not going to miss it.
    • At the same time:
    Captions: The "You" (in "My Life Would suck without You) in this case referred to Cheeseburgers
    Speech bubble at the corner of the screen: That's not nice Buckley, she has struggled with her weight!
  • His Musical Autopsy of Call Me Maybe
    "She's just waiting for torn Levi's to give her a shout and already she's mental for him."
    (pauses song) "Okay. Now see, this is the point where she's gone fucking nuts."
  • Forensically dissecting the 'lyrics' of LMFAO and taking it all very seriously.
    "I don't remember a single Bruce Lee movie when he was at a nightclub rocking."
  • In the autopsy of "Stupid Hoe", he interpretates the line "I piss one bitches" literally and thinks that Nicki actually urinates on women
    • After hearing Nicki hold a long note, Buckley thought that nothing else was more annoying. Cue the chorus:
  • From his autopsy of "Automatic"
    • The human lifespan according to Buckley:
    First 5 years: Can't do shit, you're a shitty baby
    6 - 18 years: Can do limited shit, but you have no money to do fun shit
    19 - 70 years: Can do lots of shit
    70+ years: Can do limited shit because you're fucking old and gross
    Death: Can't do anything, you're dead. You're nothing
  • His autopsy of Meghan Trainor's "Title" suddenly turns into an installment of Advice No One Asked For, and he even plays the outro music before realizing he's reviewing a song.
    • Buckley stating that trying to get with someone who already has a significant other is like betting on a team that's down by 21 points in the final quarter.
  • In the Autopsy for Beyonce's "7/11", him trying to "dance" to the song on the floor.

Advice No One Asked For

  • His Flat "What." at the one writer saying how she is pregnant with her stepbrothers child.
  • His suggestion for dealing with a naming dispute with a mother-in-law: Abort baby. Blend fetus. Label jar with the desired name.
  • One writer complains about his wife's lack of libido. The fact that they only did it 9 times in a year sends Buckley into a laughter fit.

Other

  • Buckley reads tweets from rappers. It's exactly what it sounds like. And it is hilarious.
    • The parody of the Reading Rainbow theme in the intro.
    • Some of the tweets themselves
    Gucci Mane: I got picks of nikki n my bed I got tape off rocko begging 4 his ?got pix of 3sum k kaior. Dm asksem ciara kelly fantasia mya buffy maliah?

    Tyga: First off Let's address the Elephant in the room. Every 1 knows Burberry has HIV dats why nobody fuk with him.

    Gucci Mane: fucked bufy in d ass
    Buckley: Apparently, the Vampire Slayer likes taking it in the dumper.

    • After a particularly garbled and nonsensical tweet from Gucci
    Buckley: This appears to potentially be a stroke. I think Gucci should get some medical attention here.