Film: BloodRayne

If you thought Twilight was the worst disservice to vampires the world has ever is, but this one's pretty bad, too.
Linkara during the Nostalgia Critic's review of this movie

Based on the game of a same name, BloodRayne is the third video game movie by Uwe Boll, released in 2005, starring Kristanna Loken, Michelle Rodriguez, Michael Madsen, and Ben Kingsley.

A pseudo-Prequel to the games, the film centers around the Dhampyr Rayne seeking to bring down her vampire father, Kagan. Instead of centering around killing Nazis, the first film is set around the Middle Ages and features a more laid back Rayne compared to her video game counterpart. But afterall, Uwe Boll made this film and his faithfulness to source material has always been lacking.

Bloodrayne pretty much became the first franchise of films by Uwe Boll, as there are two sequels, BloodRayne II: Deliverance and BloodRayne: The Third Reich , and a fourth film is in development, rumored to be set in modern times.

This film contains the examples of:

  • Archnemesis Dad: Kagan to Rayne.
  • Attempted Rape: Rayne is almost raped by the one of the circus workers, but during the quarrel some blood is drawn and her powers are awakened.
  • Bare Your Midriff: Rayne and Katarin.
  • Big Bad: Kagan.
  • Blade Below the Shoulder: Rayne's signature weapons, which are inexplicably replaced with swords in the third film.
  • Child by Rape: According to Rayne, she was conceived by Kagan raping her human mother.
  • Coitus Ensues: There's a sex scene between Rayne and Sebastian, with no build up beforehand.
  • Dhampyr: Rayne, obviously.
  • Drop the Hammer: One of the vampire bodyparts is guarded by a deformed monk who uses a mallet and spiked clubs to fight.
  • Dual Wielding: Rayne wields two blades, just like in the games.
  • Dull Surprise: You'll be amazed how nonchalant people can be about being stabbed or dismembered.
  • Evil Is Hammy: Meat Loaf as Leonid.
  • Fortune Teller: Rayne finds out about her Chosen One status when she meets one after she breaks free from the circus.
  • In Name Only: The movie (and its sequel) has very little in common with the game, aside from the protagonist being a female Dhampyr named Rayne who fights her vampire father.
  • Make Sure He's Dead: The protagonists decapitate fallen vampires to make sure they're really dead.
  • Major Injury Underreaction: Vladmir gets captured and then stabbed through the heart and throughout his emotionless expression doesn't change at all.
    Linkara: My god, man, you're being stabbed! Don't you care?!
  • No Sell: The three body parts each make a vampire immune to one of their natural weakness.
  • Not Even Bothering with the Accent: No one really sounds Romanian, but some of the cast - Michael Madsen, Matt Davis, Meat Loaf, and others - don't even try to disguise their modern American accents.
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Unlike some of her castmates, Michelle Rodriguez at least tries to put on an accent. Unfortunately, it keeps fading in and out not only between scenes but sometimes even during one line of dialogue.
  • Our Vampires Are Different: For one thing, plain; ordinary water acts like Hollywood Acid on them.
    • And, according to at least one shot, it also acts like it on their SHOES.
  • Plot Coupon: Rayne and Kagan are looking for the holy (unholy?) body parts of an ancient vampire, that take away their weaknesses.
  • Sad Times Montage: In the last 5 minutes of the Unrated Director's Cut, after Rayne kills Kagan and sits on the throne, the viewer is treated to about 3-4 minutes of slow motion shots of many of the gory kills in the film. But it seems more like a special effects montage showcasing the over-the-top gore effects and the fight choreography.
  • Shout-Out (may be a Whole Plot Reference): Rayne's quest for the enchanging bodyparts is one to Castlevania II: Simon's Quest, where one must collect Dracula's body parts.
  • Sword Fight: Plenty of it, even the climactic action scene is one.
  • Weakened by the Light: Leonid is destroyed by sunlight.