Double Entendre / Live-Action TV

  • Game of Thrones:
    • While discussing Shae's cover story as his personal cook, Tyrion suggests Varys should taste her fish pie.
    • Tyrion rewards Podrick for sticking a spear through a would-be assassin with a "spear handler" of another sort.
  • Our Miss Brooks: Miss Brooks' letter to Mr. Conklin requesting flower pots for her windowsill gets mixed up with a love letter in "Bones, Son of Cyrano". Cue a flurry of double entendres when Mr. Conklin questions Miss Brooks.
  • Geoff Peterson on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson likes to hang a lampshade on double entendres with, "Is that code?" Then again, he likes to make 'em as well.
  • In Smallville Lois is explaining to Clark how to wear cufflinks "make sure this part sticks up straight then it slides right in" judging by her face it seems that she only noticed the double entendre after she said it.
  • A non-sexual example can be found in the title of The Twilight Zone (1959) episode "To Serve Man" (based on a short story by Damon Night). The title can mean either "to perform a service for humanity" or "to serve the meat of a human as food." Given the show, guess which one they're talking about here.
  • In How I Met Your Mother Robin and Barney are having dinner in a restaurant, and as he is being abnormally nice, clean and appropriate (he has recently fallen in love with her and wants to show her that he's not always a sleazy womanizer), she tries to set him back in his old ways by telling him about her day in a suspiciously crude manner. It doesn't work:
    Robin: Hey, so I went to the chiropractor yesterday... That guy bent me over the table and pounded me for a good hour...
    Barney: Insurance gonna cover that? Sometimes they don't.
    Robin: That's it?
    Barney: (polite smile)
    Robin: Okay... Well, um, today, I was at the dentist, that guy drilled me. All day long.
    Barney: (polite nod)
    Robin: He drilled me hard.
    Barney: (polite nod)
    Robin: He filled all of my cavities... Come on, man!
    Barney: Well your teeth look fantastic.
    • The series loves this trope. Most of the time though, it's unintentional, and the characters realize the Squick potential a little too late.
    Ted: Alright, I'm gonna head upstairs and keep working. I gotta find a way to introduce some wood in Bilson's dark atrium.
    Ted: I think you know what I meant.
    • At one time, Ted's boss is designing a skyscraper that is clearly a giant penis.
    Druthers: [about the model trees Ted made to surround the tower] Too green.
    Ted: Too green?
    Druthers: I want them to be more of a natural brown color. Almost a brunet. Also, they need to be bushier
    Ted: Bushier?
    Druthers: I want this tower to emerge from a thicket of unkempt brunet shrubbery. Can you picture it, Ted?
    Ted: I can't unpicture it, sir.
  • Are You Being Served? lives and breathes double entendre, most notoriously those involving Mrs. Slocombe's pussy (cat). Then there's the mild one right in the title.
  • iCarly: Despite being a kids show, the writers can be mercilessly subtle with such dialogues.
  • Arrested Development
    • Tobias' homosexual tendencies are a running joke in the show; he makes frequent sexual double-entendres to which he seems completely oblivious.
    Tobias Funke: ... even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
    • While talking to Michael after preparing to audition for the Blue Man Group with full makeup:
    Tobias Funke: I just blue myself!
    • Then there's when he accidentally used a gift card whilst thinking it was just a preview of what he could get for it.
    Tobias: Well, yes, but Im afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now Im afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
    Michael: There's just... so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
    Tobias: Oh, Tobias, you blowhard.
    • In viral marketing for the fourth season, on a website called "Insert Me Anywhere", Tobias reveals he botched a commercial audition for a mango juice ad.
    Tobias: It's like having a man-go in your mouth!
  • Pee-wees Playhouse, which was ostensibly a children's show, thrived on subtle double entendres.
    • One of the best ones:
    Cowboy Curtis: You know what they say about a man with big feet?
    Cowboy Curtis: He needs big shoes.
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
    • The show featured a number of double entendres based around Kendra's pet name for her favorite stake, "Mr. Pointy".
    • Depending on who you ask, this was either this trope or Accidental Innuendo. In Season 8, after Xander is forced to ride Centaurette Dawn (causing her to get soaking wet), this exchange happens:
    Xander: How're you feeling?
    Centaurette!Dawn: Like I was ridden hard and put away wet.
    Xander: AGH! Dawn, that's dis — oh. No. It's just true.
    • Also when Buffy talks to her mother about Angel's true nature.
    Buffy: He was my first. (Joyce is shocked) My only!
    • For a non-sexual example, in the final episode, Buffy has just ripped a man in half using an axe. When her ex boyfriend asks what happened to the man, she tells him that he had to split. This is followed by Buffy laughing.
    • Referenced in "Phases":
    Larry: Man! Oz, I would love to get me some of that Buffy and Willow action, if you know what I mean.
    Oz: That's great, Larry. You've really mastered the single entendre.
    • Also, Larry is actually gay, so the above line works pretty well for a gay guy trying to hide his gayness.
    • The end of Willow and Tara's song in "Once More With Feeling" with lyrics like I can feel you inside and Lost in ecstasy, spread beneath my Willow tree. Joss later admits in the commentary, "OK, this is porn."
    • "Once More With Feeling" is riddled with it. The song with Xander and Anya have a few: "You're the cutest of the scoobies with your lips as red as rubies and your firm yet supple.. tight embrace"
    • A non-sexual one from the same episode: (in the middle of a tense musical confrontation of the villain) "[Buffy] needs backup. Anya, Tara." They both hurry take their places as back-up dancers.
    • Buffy brings home chicken legs for the Scoobies.
    Willow (looking slyly at Tara): I'm a breast girl, myself."
    • Spike works in plenty during his covert relationship with Buffy, such as when Buffy won't let him inside the house for sex because Dawn is there.
    Spike: I can't go inside, so ... maybe the time is right ... for you to come outside.
    • Faith naturally gets in on the act, e.g. "Enemies" when talking to Buffy about her UST with Angel.
    Faith: The close-but-no-cigar thing with Angel. I don't know if I could handle, you know, the way you're not handling it.
    • Even 'nice boy' Riley does it in "Something Blue".
    Buffy: Cars and Buffy are, like...un-mixy things.
    Riley: It's just because you haven't had a good experience yet. You can have the best time in a car. It's not about getting somewhere. You have to take your time. Forget about everything. Just...relax. Let it wash over you. The air...motion... Just, let it roll.
    Buffy: We are talking about driving, right?
    • Another non-comic version is in "Fool for Love" when Spike is sparring with Buffy outside the Bronze while relating how he killed her predecessors. Spike's talk of 'dancing' (fighting to the death) with Buffy increasingly takes on sexual overtones until he's driven to make an actual pass at her. Buffy's disgusted rejection of the idea that Spike will be the one to kill her is played exactly like Buffy rejecting the idea that she will ever become his lover.
    • The scene between Willow and Spike in season 4 (just after he's been made unable to hurt people) when he tries to bite her and can't. Just replace every instance of "bite" know...
    • Jonathan, grab your magic bone!
    • In Season 9:
    Centaurette Demon: "Please mount me, great one."
    Willow: "There's just no way out of the double entendre with this one. "
    • Even before Willow and Tara's relationship was revealed, there were several references implying it in various ways:
      • In Restless:
    Xander: Sometimes I think about two women doing a spell, and...then I do a spell by myself.
    • In Who Are You:
    Faith (in Buffy's body): So, Willow's not driving stick anymore.
  • Three's Company enjoyed a healthy dose. It was the premise of the show. In fact, almost every plot was an extended Innocent Innuendo.
  • Queer as Folk to an occasionally ridiculous degree, but the famous 'I'm coming' is never featured.
  • Almost every television series starring Rik Mayall (The Young Ones) featured a number of double entendres every episode; in fact, the original intent of calling one series Bottom was to force double entendre on the viewers: "I saw that 'Bottom' on telly the other night — no, wait, that's not what I meant." The original title of the show, "Your Bottom", made the double entendre even worse: "I saw Your Bottom on TV yesterday."
    • There a bit of this within-show, as well:"Now can we just get our equipment out? I mean, get our tackle out... no, I mean, get our GEAR out! Oh my God, you can't say anything without some dreadful double entendre lurking round the corner!"
      • Gleefully played with in one Bottom live show where characters, actors and audience all know of the (barely) double meanings. "For hours we clung to your sturdy organ as we were tossed about in the foamy... brine!"
    • Surprisingly, The New Statesman, for a Mayall series, is relatively free of double entendres, except for the lead character's name, Alan B'Stard. Maybe the rule regarding Mayall should be that he double-entendres himself to death in any role written by either himself or Ben Elton. His double-entendres as the various Lord Flashhearts on Black Adder are barely single entendres, and are the exemplars of this trope. 'Send a car. General Melchett's driver should do. She's used to hanging around with the big nobs so will be fine with a chap like me. Woof!'
  • Doctor Who:
    • The show featured a number of "unintentional double entendres" where neither meaning was sexual. At least once an episode, someone would say, "There is no plot!", "We must act!", or similar phrases.
    • Jamie's first line to fellow companion Victoria was "quick Miss Waterfield, up your passage!" Frazer Hines (Jamie), Deborah Watling (Victoria) and Patrick Troughton (the second Doctor) were quite keen on getting as many in as possible.
    • Both "Revenge of the Cybermen" and "Terror of the Zygons" (two consecutive stories) feature a virtually identical gag at the climax of the Doctor telling his companions about 'big bangs' and then eyeballing the people he's with significantly.
    • When feeding the Doctor wine in "The Brain of Morbius", Solon says 'I always knew I'd eventually have a guest with a head for such a fine vintage', referring both to the Doctor's appreciation for the wine and the Doctor having an appropriate head to put the brain of Morbius into.
    • The Doctor and the Master always seem to be doing this to each other:
    Master: I want the Doctor's body!
    • In The Two Doctors, Jamie and the Second Doctor spot a spaceship via the scanner screen.
    Jamie: Look at the size of that thing, Doctor!
    The Doctor: Yes, Jamie, that is a big one. note 
    • In "The Greatest Show in the Galaxy", the Seventh Doctor comments to Ace that the robot was 'just a device to get us involved'. This is a triple-entendre - it's a 'device' (a robot), a 'device' (a plot device) and a 'device' (a manipulation).
    • In "The TV Movie", Eight shows just how much of a Chaste Hero he is, even if he is the first Doctor to snog on camera, by innocently walking straight into one of these:
    Doctor: See, I told you it [a gadget] was small.
    Grace: What is it they say?
    Doctor: Yeah, they say that on my planet too.
    • Even when The Master isn't around, he isn't safe
    10th Doctor: Oh, he (The Master) just showed up again. Same as ever.
    5th Doctor: Oh no, really? Does he still have that rubbish beard?
    10th Doctor: No! No beard this time. Well...a wife.
    • The "Shada" reconstruction opens up with Tom Baker Adam Westing enormously while going through a bunch of Doctor Who props and informing them that he beat them. Then he says "I was irresistible in those days... irresistible" (referencing his notorious real-life womanising and debauchery with his "time-travellers").
    • From "The Christmas Invasion", Jackie's comment when Rose was explaining to her about how the Doctor has two hearts. This while she's eyeing him up and down.
    Jackie: Anything else he's got two of?
    • In "The Doctor Dances", dancing is used as a euphemism for sex, showing off the Doctor's problems with intimacy and Captain Jack's flexibility, among other things. In a rare visual double entendre, the Doctor literally slips Jack a banana. This is reused in "The Girl in the Fireplace", when Reinette asks the Doctor to dance with her. Notably, this episode also features the Doctor utilizing a banana. (He visits a really wild party, gets very drunk and may have invented the banana daiquiri. Except that he doesn't.)
    • River Song asks the Doctor to sonic her radio to boost the frequency. Amy, on the other hand...
    "Ooh, Doctor, you sonicked her!"
    • The Teller from "Time Heist" works at a bank, but can also "tell" what people are thinking.
  • Torchwood has quite a few by virtue of being... well. Torchwood. Example: Well, HE seemed to enjoy it...
  • The Benny Hill Show: Benny Hill built a career out of them.
  • A particularly transparent example from Friends involved a discussion between Chandler and a coworker about the inclusion of information from the "Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics" in the "Annual Net Usage Statistics" — that is, the insertion of the WENUS into the ANUS.
    • Another example from Friends when Monica is asked that why she sold her stock:
    Monica: Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down.
    Joey: This is so not my motto.
    • Joey apparently has a talent to make anything sound like innuendo. Take, for example, like "Grandma's chicken salad."
    • After reading the female-empowering, jargon-laced book, Be Your Own Windkeeper, Rachel pushes back on Ross demand that they leave for movie on time, resulting in this exchange:
    Rachel: "How do you expect me to grow if you wont let me blow?"
  • CSI has these from time to time. For example, Sara saying, out of the blue "I've got crabs.", with Gil looking at her funny, then she points at a piece of evidence she's examining, which has... crabs. (That was one of the ickiest episodes of all of CSI, which is famous for its levels of squick. Also one of the few with no B or C Corpses.)
  • In Scrubs, a character named Todd turns nearly everything said to him (or near him) into a double entendre. ("I'd like to double her entendre!")
    Patient: Doctor, I'm getting a little tired of the sexual innuendo.
    Todd: In-your-endo.
    • This is nearly the Todd's raison d'être. In at least one episode he mentions that he actually seeks out these opportunities, commenting, "People think I just luck into these situations, but it's really a lot of hard work. You know what else is hard?" "I should go."
  • Spin City would occasionally spend an episode leading up to an extended double entendre. For example, in this one, Carter is making a speech on prostitutes; unfortunately, Mike told him it was about libraries...
    Carter: You walk past them every day, and you never even notice them. I say use them. Take advantage of them.
    Reporter: Uh, Mr. Heywood, are you saying you've... used one?
    Carter: Why yes, I was in one just this morning. In fact, I was having such a good time I found it hard to keep quiet.
  • Open All Hours does this all the time, but memorably in this line:
    Arkwright: You have lovely knees, Nurse Gladys. Of course, my thoughts are above such things.
  • Noah's Arc: There are plenty, virtually all of the sexual variety. In fact, this is the main way Noah and Wade communicate their Unresolved Sexual Tension early on.
  • Brainiac:
    • Used completely unexpectedly in an experiment to see which hat would hold up to the most punishment. After describing the hard hat, Vic Reeves turns to the camera and says, with a perfect poker-face, "If you've ever had a hard on, you'll know it can be rock solid."
    • The "Professor Mayang Lee" segments are full of it. Let's just say that she is rather large in a certain area and it involves fruit.
    • Also the "How hard is your thing?" segment. PLUS, as a bonus, on one of the 'NASA didn't try...' segments (the car one), at the end Vic states that Braniac will be responsible for, and I quote "The first pilot of a rocket car to blast off on Uranus."
  • In one Beakman's World segment explaining rotational inertia, Beakman breaks out the Beakman Rotational Aerodynamic Thingies. Commence thingy-twirling jokes, and compound that with the fact that the girl wins...
  • Monty Python's Flying Circus
    • One sketch sees a Dirty Old Man go into a newsagents and interpret all of the adverts on the noticeboard as being adverts for prostitutes, eventually leading him to some truly ludicrous double entendres when he tries to get further details from the newsagent. ("I'd like a bit of pram, please!") Eventually, in frustration he demands the actual prostitute's advert, which is written in a fashion bluntly describing what is on offer (Sexy blonde prostitute, will perform all acts...) — and doesn't understand a word of it.
    • The Wink Wink Nudge Nudge guy, who turns everything said to him into a double entendre, no matter how forced it is, and then tries to force a double entendre into everything he says. In the end, the character admits it's because he's never had sex and wonders what that's like.
  • The British children's TV show Rainbow: Holyshit. No, the episode was never broadcast, it was just a joke among the staff.
  • Mystery Science Theater 3000 explored this trope when the 'bots asked Joel why the actors in the movies were talking the way they were. Joel explained that by controlling the inflection of your voice you can make anything sound sexual. He went on to demonstrate with such phrases as "The Factory is still open, but they are making different stuff" or "Yep, My shoes are a little tight." She came back from the store with a bag of apples... and a loaf of bread!
  • The entire premise of Jack-of-All-Trades appears to be to string together as many puns and double entendres as possible.
  • Firefly includes some amusing examples. In the episode "War Stories", Jayne watches Inara kissing a female client — and right after he proclaims he's going to his bunk, Zoe orders him to "grab your weapon" for a potentially dangerous mission.
    • From Our Mrs. Reynolds: "Jayne. Go play with your rain stick."
  • Seinfeld had almost a ton of these. The contest episode in particular.
  • Saturday Night Live (which has been packed with double entendres since 1975) has this in early Celebrity Jeopardy sketches, in which Sean Connery would turn the categories into these. For example...
    Connery: I'll take Jap-Anus Relations.
    Trebek: That's "Japan-US Relations".
    Connery: I'll take The Rapists.
    Trebek: That's "Therapists".
    Connery: I've got to ask you about The Penis Mightier...
    Trebek: That's "The Pen Is Mightier".
    Connery: I don't care what you call it, I'm asking does it work?!
    Connery: I'll take Catch the Semen.
    Trebek: That's "Catch These Men".
    Connery: I'll take Anal Bum Cover.
    Trebek: That's "An Album Cover", you horrible, horrible man.
    Connery: HO, HO, HO, HO!
    Connery: I'll take Whore Semen. (Walks up to the board and points at the "Horsemen" category) See? "Whore"—like your mother—"Semen."
    • And then there's the "Delicious Dish" sketch in which Alec Baldwin's character, baker Pete Schweddy, introduces his dessert, "Schweddy Balls". Rapidly becomes an Overly Long Gag (and an obvious one), but they maintain perfectly deadpan delivery throughout while saying such lines as, "Wow. I can't wait to get my mouth around his Balls", and "Do whatever you want to, ladies. My Balls are here for your pleasure."
      • And then he comes back with Schweddy Weiners, which taste best if they're inserted into Schweddy Buns.
      • Betty White as confectionery rock star Florence Dusty and her Dusty Muffin.
    • There's also a sketch about a tour at a winery with Janet Jackson Finding out about Cork Soaking.(The sketch almost falls apart as Janet and the rest of the cast can barely hold it together, as Janet almost Blows the Line (wait I just Made one there.)
    • Also a series of parody campaign ads in which Pat Finger runs for city council of Butts, New York. ("In 1869, my great-grandfather, E. T. Finger fell in love with Butts and, well, there's been a whole mess of Fingers in Butts ever since.")
    • Robert De Niro played a CIA spokesman who read lists of suspected terrorists - "most of the calls have come from high school and college students nationwide". They include Hous Bin Pharteen ("a silent, but deadly killer"), I-Zheet M'Drurz ("when he was fleeing the scene of his last attack, he left skidmarks") and Apul Madeek ("who we believe will be targeting adult bookstores sometime in the near future")
  • In The Office (UK), Tim and Dawn amuse themselves with a perfectly innocent conversation about armed combat with Gareth.
    Tim: If a military man like you, a soldier, er, could you give a man a lethal blow?
    Gareth: If I was forced to, I could. If it was absolutely necessary, if he was attacking me.
    Tim: If he was coming, really hard?
    Gareth: Yeah, if my life was in danger, yeah.
    Tim: And do you imagine always doing it face to face with a bloke, or could you take a man from behind?
    Gareth: Either way's easy.
    Tim: So you could take a man from behind?
    Gareth: Yeah.
    Tim: Lovely.
  • The Thin Blue Line: Fowler and Grim make these all the time, usually unintentionally.
    • The show had what has to be one of the most egregious examples when Grim urges Fowler not to make any mistakes: "'cause you know what'll happen Raymond, don't you? It'll be your cock-up, my arse!" This phrase is also made as short as it can be while also displaying the importance of punctuation. "Your cock-up, my arse".

      The series as a whole seems rather fond of this joke. Compare; "It's my arse on the line here, and I don't want a cock-up!", and "I'll show them when Grim of Gasforth puts his arse on the line, they can't just stick two fingers up!"

      It happens almost Once per Episode. The different variations on the same theme are actually quite inventive. Possibly it counts as a Running Gag.
    • Fowler misty-eyed at Christmas as a kid, reducing Patricia to giggles "Dad would bring a fat bird home and tell mother to stuff it." (Bird being British slang for 'woman')
  • Groucho Marx was known for his quick wit in his talk show, You Bet Your Life. One interview with a woman with many children led him to ask why she had so many. She replied that she loved her husband. His reply: "Well, I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while!" Apparently everyone in the studio was in hysterics for some time. note 
  • We'd insert all the double entendres from Veronica Mars in here, but fun as it is we don't want to be doing this all day, and frankly it could be too long for the page to handle. Many of them are seriously Getting Crap Past the Radar—including a not-too-subtle Curse Cut Short involving Country Matters. You have to wonder if someone fell asleep on the job there.
  • The narrator and sometimes even the crew of Mythbusters seems rather fond of double entendres. "It's time to play hide the sausage" from the Salami Rocket myth, for example.
    • The less said about Adam riding the giant chicken cannon, the better.
  • Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs is fond of these as well.
  • Babylon 5 is not averse to these.
    Garibaldi: (faced with a pack of Drazi missionaries, early in the third season) Zack, do me a favour and explain the missionary, ah, position to these folk.
  • Tyrone F. Horneigh, the recurring Dirty Old Man character in Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In.
    Horneigh: Say, do you believe in the hereafter?
    Woman: Yeah.
    Horneigh: Well, now you know what I'm here after.
  • Half the jokes in On the Buses revolve around Jack and Stan cracking double entendres.
  • Corner Gas
    • An episode is based around the male characters all trying to buy better cell-phones than each other. The following dialogue occurs between one of said men and an unsuspecting local.
    "Do you think my new cell phone is small? Brent's got a smaller one. I mean, I wasn't looking at it on purpose, or anything. He had it out and I just sort of... glanced at it. You know, you get an inaccurate idea because you see smaller ones in movies and magazines and stuff. But for a normal person's cell phone, mine is small. Smaller than average. Right?"
    "I don't think anyone cares as long as it works."
    • The episode involving Davis, the Cosmo-reading somewhat Ambiguously Gay police officer, being locked in a jail cell with Hank, the village idiot. Davis ends up escaping, which leads to this exchange between Karen (Davis' partner) and Hank:
    Karen: Davis is out?
    Hank: Well, that's not for me to say, really...
    • A drug one when half of the cafe letters fall down
    Hank: Hey, where's your F 'n' E?
    • The episode with the female doctor coming to town involved the doctor taking everything the locals said as a double entendre. Hilarity Ensues.
  • Rules of Engagement features more than a few, usually delivered by Russell. However, one of the funniest episodes features a woman who speaks in nothing but double entendres, seemingly without realising what she is doing, and this drives Russell nuts. Her best effort occurs when she is talking about the new nightclub she is starting:
    "You guys should totally check out my opening. It takes a while for things to warm up down there, so try not to come too early."
  • The title doctor of House is also fond of double entendres.
    • Though in season 4's "Whatever it Takes" he fails, saying: "You know, I happen to have a position available on my penis... Wait a second, I think I screwed up that joke."
    • An example played straight in season 4 from "Don't Ever Change": House asks Thirteen, "You do it both ways, right?" Earlier in the episode she is revealed to be bisexual. House claims he was referring to two ways of doing an ultrasound.
  • It also qualifies as an instance of Getting Crap Past the Radar, but one episode of Supernatural (s2 ep6) features a female character squeezing by Dean in a tight space between walls of an apartment complex. Dean mutters "Should've cleaned the pipes." When he is asked what that meant, he quickly shines a flashlight over to the plumbing and stammers something out.
    • Being that Season 7's Big Bad was named Dick, the entire season was sprinkled with puns on his name.
  • This particular segment on The Colbert Report, about someone who was caught working in the nude.
  • Bill Nye the Science Guy had one in an episode about Volcanoes. It showed a family of three sitting at a table, and the dad had made his mashed potatoes into a tall, semi-cone shaped blob. He then took a large spoonful of gravy and poured it onto the top and watched it drip down the sides. And then he talks to his wife while continuing to pour gravy on it:
    Dad: Honey... What does this remind you of? (eyebrowquirk)
    Mom: (smirk) Oh honey, you KNOW what that reminds me of.
    Dad: C'mon honey, I wanna hear you say it. What does this remind you of?
    Mom: Honey! It's embarrassing!
    Dad: (stares)
    Mom: Oh, alright... If you insist... (suddenly very serious) It reminds me of a Strata Cone Volcano, which builds up in the Earth's crust to make it BIG.... and STRONG... (sexy hissing)
    Son: ... Dad?... May I please be excused from the table?
  • My Boys had one. The protagonist's old friend visits her, bringing her Sex and the City look-a-like friends. The one that acts like Samantha speaks in so much innuendo that no one understands her.
  • Power Rangers RPM. Ziggy has recently learned that Dr. K is a girl. Watch what happens:
    Ziggy: I would have layed odds that you were a dude.
    Dr K:... Sorry to disappoint you.
  • Will & Grace is built on double entendre.
  • The Brazillian show Casseta e Planeta: urgente was known to use a joke about a woodman that remove latex from wood. The joke was about him removing "milk" (the latex) from wood. Wood in portuguese means "pau", that is also an euphemism for cock. In context, it means he was having a handjob. It's was a little subverted because the woodman called the double entendre just moments before was said. It reached extreme levels when he interrupted a commercial about a satellite that could take pictures of all over the world (possibly the google earth) and complained about the overusing of the joke while LOOKING STRAIGHT to the satellite.
  • NCIS
    • This exchange between Tony and Ziva whose whole relationship seem to based on. After a cat has run out the pet door and Tony jumps startled:
    Ziva: Tony, I never knew you were afraid of a little pussy... cat.
    • Another such example was during another of Tony and Ziva's bantering sessions, where Ziva says, "Tony, I've told you, I like to have fun in ways." It turns out that she's talking about reading, but it's understandable why people might initially interpret it in a very different way.
  • Deadliest Warrior has this bit of smack talk in the Viking vs Samurai episode when they were about to test the Viking Shield:
    Viking Expert: That's the biggest piece of wood your samurai has ever seen.
  • At least 70% of Chuck Bass's dialogue on Gossip Girl consists of this. Example:
    Georgina: No thank you, the Lord cannot enter the body solely by alcohol.
    Chuck: That's good, because I prefer to be the one doing the entering.
  • When Richard Woolsey on Stargate Atlantis discovers that a new (gorgeous female) team member is standing in the area of the city he uses to reflect on his thoughts:
    Woolsey: You poached my private spot!... Uh, what I meant to say is: you discovered my little personal area... Uh, this is where I come to be alone with my thoughts.
    Conrad: Do you mind sharing it?
    Woolsey: Not at all.
    • Made even worse when you find out he actually is talking to himself.
  • A staple of Lexx, from the blatant to the subtle.
    We'll lick those aliens... or go down like men.
  • Two and a Half Men is also fond of using this, sometimes excessively, which shows in this example of Charlie talking to Herb in the garden.
    Charlie: You know, Herb, that is a fine, fine hat.
    Herb: Gotta wear it. Otherwise I freckle like a banana.
    Charlie: Well... I wouldn't want your banana to get freckled.
    Alan: Let's go, Charlie.
    Charlie: Hang on! Hang on. We're having a real interesting conversation here. Hey Herb, tell Alan what you told me about how you plant seeds.
    Herb: Well, first I make sure the soil is moist.
    Charlie: Uh-huh. And tell him how you do that.
    Herb: Well, I just stick my finger in the old Mother Earth. If it comes up dry, I just whip out my hose and give it a good spritz.
    Charlie: And then?
    Herb: And then I carefully plant the seed in the soil.
    Charlie: Carefully? Why carefully?
    Herb: Because if you just fling that stuff around, half of it's wasted!
    Charlie: You hear that, Alan? If you fling your seed around it gets wasted.
    Alan: Fascinating. Let's just go.
    Charlie: Now hold on, hold on... How do you feel about bushes, Herb?
    Herb: Well, I like a full bush. The way God intended.
    Charlie: I like 'em trimmed. What about you, Alan?
    Alan: We're going! Bye Herb.
  • Nice one (possibly unintentional, but who can tell?) from kid's show The Hoobs in the episode "Ba-Boom". When Iver finds out that that noise in his chest is actually his heart, the Hoobs all listen to each other's heartbeats. Groove sticks his 'ear' next to (female Hoob) Tula's chest and exclaims "Great ba-booms, Tula!"
  • Done in Top Gear in the form of Innocent Innuendo (after segueing from a discussion about car firms putting their badges on any old merchandise)
    Hammond: It does work, this sort of branding. This wizard's sleeve for instance. (holds up a literal sleeve from a wizard costume with a Ferrari logo on it)
    May: This pork sword... (holds up a fencing foil with a load of sausages speared on it)
    Clarkson: This cock... (holds up a stuffed chicken with an Audi logo on it)
    Hammond: Has it got four rings on it?
    Clarkson: Yes it has! Put this cock in your wizard's sleeve.
    • They also pointed out the "minefield of double entendres" that cropped up when they made a kit car.
    Clarkson: The nipple is off. The tube is in the hole.
    Clarkson: We'll be needing some pump.
    May: You should feel it go stiff now.
    Clarkson: Pump, man. Pump!
    Hammond: Oh yeah, that much better. Yeah, that's hard.
    • Then there's the review of a car where they picture a situation where a family seating arrangement has the mother in the front seat with the kids and her husband sits in the back seat:
    Clarkson: It's the most pitiable sight you can see.
    May: She's effectively saying "You've given me the baby, now get in the back!"
    Hammond: Yep.
    Clarkson: (bursts out laughing)
  • Cloudcuckoolander Dave from Titus thinks he hears these often. Or can make the audience make them. Papa Titus frequently makes them as well.
    Titus: Dad, you're not in love with her. It's a heart attack rebound thing. It's the angina talking!
    Dave: It TALKS?!
  • A Bit of Fry and Laurie straddles the line between this and Refuge in Audacity frequently. See attached:
  • There's a rather clever one in the Easter 2010 Jonathan Creek special - while talking about carpentry, The Vicar states "if I have a vice, it's to be screwed on the edge of a bench." before adding "that's got me into trouble on more than one occasion."
  • Castle
    • In the first episode there's the line "we could go to dinner, debrief each other"
    • From season 3:
    Castle: We should savor this moment and—
    Beckett: Let's just stick it in and get it over with.note 
    • And then in season 5, after Castle recalls that line during a flashback:
    Beckett: That's not how I meant it. I can't help it if you get off by putting things in my mouth.
  • In Eureka season 4:2, Dr. Grant is locked in Carter's jail cell and Andy greets Carter. Grant is staring in wonder at Andy for being a robot, and his final line in the scene is 'I'd love to see underneath your uniform.' (meaning he wants to see the mechanics). Andy doesn't even try to hide his comprehension of the innuendo by making a sidelong glance.
    • Also in the last episode of Season 3 we get this one:
    Carter: I love it when you talk nerdy to me.
  • Married... with Children was quite generous with the double entendres, perhaps the funniest when Al and Jefferson are trying to assemble a work bench and Al is frustrated with trying to align two "L" brackets:
    Al: I can't find the hole! (Peggy, nearby, flashes a shit-eating grin)
  • In one episode of The Goodies, the lads' apartment are encased in concrete with no connection to the outside world. Tim, off-hand, mentions "building a better world for our children". Cue Bill explaining to him that they're not going to have any children, are they, culminating in this:
    Bill: Let's face it, for the next three years, we three are doomed to be bachelors gay. (puts his hand on Tim's shoulder, grinning) That's an idea, isn't it?
    • Also, later on:
    Tim: (shocked) But a man isn't a man unless he exercises his right for fatherhood!
    Bill: You can exercise it all you want, mate, but it won't get you anywhere!
  • Mulder of The X-Files loves to do this to his stoic, uptight partner, Scully, because she gets visibly flustered by it. At least for the first few seasons. Then she just starts rolling her eyes and tuning him out. From "Syzygy":
    Mulder: (about handling evidence) Go ahead.
    Scully: No, you go ahead.
    Mulder: Nono, be my guest. I know how much you like snapping on the latex.
    • "Signs and Wonders":
      Scully: Snake handling... didn't learn that in Catechism class.
      Mulder: That's funny, I remember a couple of Catholic school girls that were experts at it.
    • In "Empedocles", a very rare Scully double entendre back at Mulder:
      Scully: (about a gift Mulder had brought) Is that for me?
      Mulder: Yeah.
      Scully: Nice package.
      Mulder (bemused): Thank you.
    • Another Scully example, from "Fire":
      Mulder: I was merely extending a professional courtesy to her.
      Scully: Oh is that what you were extending?
  • In Community episode Comparative Religion Jeff commends Pierce on not reacting to Shirley commenting on the Dean "shoving his PC-ness down my throat." Turns out the only reason was that Pierce didn't get it until Jeff pointed it out.
  • A 1974 telecast of Tattletales had the following question posited to the wives: "If I want something from my husband, to make sure I get 'yes' for an answer, I always approach him after he's had _______." (Gene Rayburn guest hosted that week as regular host Bert Convy was on the panel with his wife, so the question was posed a la Match Game.) Harvey Korman predicted his wife Donna would say "a drink." Donna's response: "It's either pizza or sex..." As the audience roared with laughter, Harvey topped it: "With or without sausage?"
  • In The Hollywood Squares, a lot of the "fake" answers were these.
  • In one episode of A Very Peculiar Practice, Doctor Rose Marie and the university director ("call me Jack... Rose") have a business conversation. The pauses, throaty voices and staring are an interesting addition.
    Rose Marie: You have... such a big desk, Jack.
    Jack: [Pause] It is kinda big.
    Rose Marie: I was wondering — I know you're awfully busy — but I thought you might come round to my flat one evening. [Laughs.] I know you'll think I'm silly, but I'd find it much less daunting there and we could really have a proper... talk.
  • Many of 3rd Rock from the Sun's episode titles are puns based on Dick Solomon's first name:
    • "Dick, Smoker"
    • "Assault With a Deadly Dick"
    • "Father Knows Dick"
    • "Much Ado About Dick"
    • "World's Greatest Dick"
    • "Gobble, Gobble, Dick, Dick"
    • "Will Work for Dick"
  • The 70s game show Match Game was notorious for these. And it got worse in the '90s remake.
  • Pick a segment-title from The Daily Show. Chances are pretty damn good that it's a Double Entendre.
  • In the That '70s Show episode "Jackie's Cheese Squeeze", Jackie feels neglected by her boyfriend, Kelso, and ends up kissing her boss at the mall where she works as a cheese maiden. Eric catches them, and later tortures Jackie by making double entendres in Kelso's presence:
    Jackie: I just came to get Michael. Come on.
    Eric: Oh, no, stay! We're just gonna hang out and fool around. We all know how much you like to... fool around.
    Eric: So, hey, Jackie, how's it going down at the cheese shop? You must be so tired from... giving it away at the mall.
    Jackie: Come on, Michael, let's go!
    Eric: No, let's stay! We could play Monopoly. Oh, but that wouldn't be much fun, since we all know that... Jackie cheats.
    • The whole scene is made even funnier by the fact that Kelso remains completely oblivious to the other meanings, even as Jackie becomes noticeably agitated by them.
  • At least a quarter of all the dialogue on 30 Rock is double entendres.
    • From season 6, Jack has realized that Liz has learned to talk business by watching his (Jack's) seminars. He is excited to be able to compete with someone who knows all the same tricks as him...
  • WKRP in Cincinnati - Les is going to do something drastic on hearing about a rumor. Jennifer warns him "Now Les, don't go off all half-cocked!" Les replies "I'm a newsman, Jennifer - I'm always fully cocked!" Jennifer gets a disturbing mental picture.
  • Law & Order: UK: A forensic expert is describing the evidence found on a victim as "stuff you might find in your mattress". DS Matt Devlin promptly turns to CP Alesha Phillips and cracks, "Not in my mattress". Granted, he could always be merely disagreeing with the forensics guy, but the look he's giving her seems to indicate another reason he's mentioning his mattress. . .
  • The Two Ronnies had many of these. Ronnie Barker once said that the thing about a joke with two meanings is that it can only possibly have one meaning.
  • 2 Broke Girls While "And the Pearl Necklace" revolves around an actual pearl necklace, when Caroline mentions it at the end Max assumes she's talking about fellatio.
    • Max likes to turn the word come (and its variations) as one quite frequently, usually after someone else uses the word.
  • In Series 7 of Russell Howard's Good News, one of the Mystery Guests had won the Best Sausage In Britian award and the entire conversation about sausages was littered with these, especially when a male audience member "whistled at [his] sausage".
  • House of Cards (U.S. Remake): When Zoe wants to break off her sexual relationship with Frank, then sends him a text-message asking to see him (on the eve of an important House vote), Frank has this exchange with his wife:
    Claire: Going somewhere?
    Frank: Just for an hour or two. I've got one last holdout to whip.
  • Given the BP oil spill spread tarballs through the Gulf of Mexico, Jimmy Fallon decided to protest this in Late Show with the appropriately named song "Balls In Your Mouth". (the puns go further as guest artist Eddie Vedder reminisced about the track).
  • Baywatch: In this scene from "The Trophy", episode one of the girls on the beach tells Eddie Kramer "I go far when I go out." it's then lampshaded by one of the other girls when she says "Yeah! All the way!".
  • In this clip on Nashville Now there's this exchange between Reba McEntire and K.T. Oslin:
    Reba: What are you doing in my chair? You're supposed to be here tomorrow night.
    K.T. Oslin: Reba you and me are gong to talk. Tonight. Hustle your shapely fanny over here and we'll get to it after the commercial.And don't you go anywhere because you won't want to miss this.
  • Mad Men: Don is a plane with a gay coworker and he tells a coworker about an idea he has. He proposes an image of an attractive girl opening a rain coat infront of a man. The slogan, "London Fog: Limit your exposure." Don did seriously propose using the advertisement for the rain coat, and he seriously wanted his friend to know he was safe provided he kept out of trouble.
  • In the second part of the pilot for Legends of Tomorrow, Martin Stein, Jefferson Jackson, and Sara Lance, having traveled back in time to the seventies, visit Martin's younger self to get his help tracking alpha particles. They introduce themselves to young-Stein as a physicist and his two lab assistants. Young Stein asks them if they are more interested in theoretical or applied physics. Sara, in a deliberately over-the-top sexy voice, says "I just can't decide. I love them both." One gets the impression that she was not talking about physics.
  • The 2015/2016 New Year's Special for Sherlock has four in rapid succession, while Moriarty appears in Sherlock's apartment his mind palace.
    Sherlock: You'll forgive me for taking precautions.
    Moriarty: I'd be offended if you didn't. Obviously, I brought my own. *takes out a shiny, white gun*
  • Parodied in a That Mitchell and Webb Look sketch set in a "bawdy 1970s hospital" of the Carry On school. Unfortunately, one of the doctors doesn't fully understand the nature of double entendre, leading to some unfortunately Literal-Minded examples whenever he tries to contribute ("Shall I get my cock out?").
  • Carry On Laughing!: As with the films, the small-screen version is built on these.
  • MADtv: In a Chips spoof featuring several cast members from That '70s Show, Mila Kunis as Da Chief does a marvelous one:
    Things are gonna be different now that I'm in charge. Cause I'm really hands-on. I'm gonna be on top of you non-stop. I'm gonna be riding you so hard you'll be begging for mercy. There's no pulling out. I'm gonna work you all night long. You will wanna explode. But I won't let you quit until I'm satisfied!
  • Stranger Things: When Nancy and Jonathan spend the night at Murray's place, he offers them the guest room, and when they insist that they're not a couple, he rolls his eyes and says Jonathan can have the pull-out sofa bed. Then the next morning, after Nancy and Jonathan spent the night together in what they thought was a stealthy manner...
    Murray: How was the pull-out?
    Jonathan: [Spit Take] I'm sorry..?
    Murray: The sofa.
    Jonathan: Oh yeah... it was good.
    Murray: [grins] I bet it was.
  • The Great British Bake Off:
    • Paul's obsession with looking for moisture affecting the crispness of pastry bases — "soggy bottoms". Mel and Sue don't exactly dissuade him from using the term at every possible opportunity, and will do so themselves if he doesn't.
    • Inevitable in any episode featuring tarts or buns.
    • Successful Madeira cake should show a prominent crack. Mel and Sue pass up no opportunity for a crack-related comment.
    • Sue is generally very good at creating innuendos out of perfectly innocuous dishes. "OK, everyone, you've got half an hour! Let's get those lady-fingers soggy!"
      Sue: Good morning, bakers. The following signature challenge has been assessed by the Double Entendre Police and Im delighted to inform you that Paul and Mary would love you to make cream horns. And theres nothing fun to say about that whatsoever.
    • Mary pulls off a totally, hilariously innocent one during a challenge, inspecting a contestant's plans to use hemp flour: "What is hemp, exactly? A kind of grass, is it?"
      Sue: [clearly desperate to keep a straight face] It's the legal kind of grass, Mary, yeah...
    • Sue gets off a corker before the titles of series 7 have even started rolling, while she and Mel are going through a box of whisks, rolling pins and other assorted kitchen aids.
    Mel: What's that down there?
    Sue: That? That's from home. I don't know why that's there. Sorry.
    • While presenting her pub-themed Showstopper in the second episode of series 7, Candice invites Mel to 'grab her jugs' (that is, bring them up to the front table), and Mel pays it forward by inducing Mary to say how much she's looking forward to eating some (sticky gingerbread) carpet.
      • Candice seemed to pull one of these out every week in season 7, including 'nobody likes a small underfilled ball' during bread week, 'I don't even have lace pants' in batter week, and 'sometimes you just need to get your hands in there and give your sausages a good squeeze' in pastry week.