Get Help With English Here

Oh, OK. Thanks Tropers Michael Katsuro

"No matter how bad the heroes can get or how bad the situation is, we're sure we can overcome it and get our happy endings..."

Oh, OK. Thanks Michael Katsuro

"No matter how bad the heroes can get or how bad the situation is, we're sure we can overcome it and get our happy endings..."

BTW, Michael Katsuro, have you checked my recent posts for MGCM?

"No matter how bad the heroes can get or how bad the situation is, we're sure we can overcome it and get our happy endings..."

The Phantom Menace

• Non-Dubbed Grunts: Obi-Wan's Big "NO!" when Qui-Gon gets stabbed isn't dubbed in the French dub of the movie. Likely because it already sounds a bit like the French word "non".

Telepath RPG

• Sliding Scale of Gameplay and Story Integration: The ability to see your opponents attack moves and stats is justified by your main characters' telepathic powers allowing them to read their opponents minds.

(Note: the protagonist's gender is ambiguous so "their" is correct)

• Telepathy: A common power in this game's universe. Shadowlings always use this to communicate, despite having mouths.

(Note: Shadowlings are a species, do I need to remove the S for plural for fictionnal species ? And does the first letter always need to be capitalised like I did ?)

Henry Stickmin Series

• Bling-Bling-BANG!: A previous leader of the Toppat clan named Jaques Kensington used to always carry a golden pistol around. He kills Henry with it if Henry enters his painting à-la Super Mario 64.
• Ironic Name: Discussed in the bio of a Toppat member named Peanut who have a Peanut allergy.
• Poor, Predictable Rock: Discussed in the bio of a backgound Toppat member named Gone Hunter who is said to always pick rock when playing Rock, paper, scissors. He doesn't mind losing however.

Edited by jOSEFdelaville on Aug 10th 2020 at 2:10:34 PM

I want to make a Late-Arrival Spoiler warning for MGCM:

For those who only played the English version, beware of late arrival spoilers from the Japanese version!

Edited by Minorica on Aug 10th 2020 at 8:40:55 PM

"No matter how bad the heroes can get or how bad the situation is, we're sure we can overcome it and get our happy endings..."

That's an interesting one. Grammatically it's perfect, and you can just go ahead and add it. Has the Japanese version more released episodes than the English one?

May I request my sandbox be Beta read?

Michael Katsuro, yes. The Japanese version was released a year ago, so there are more main story chapters, dress stories, limited time event stories than the English one.

Edited by Minorica on Aug 11th 2020 at 12:41:35 AM

"No matter how bad the heroes can get or how bad the situation is, we're sure we can overcome it and get our happy endings..."

Before MGCM was released, Magical Girl Raising Project came out, which has some things in common with MGCM. The magical girls are scouted through the smartphone app, they fight demonic entities, they have hitatsus and kiais, there's magical girls battling each other, they get into very lethal troubles, there's a blob-shaped mascot, and the girls also have weirdly shaped weapons. Coincidence? Though one difference is that the magical girls from MGCM are heavily implied to be Non-Lethal K.O.-ed when defeated in battle between magical girls. On the other hand, in Magical Girl Raising Project, the losers just die.

There's no need to put the final info in a note.

(It's not Hilarious in Hindsight that one game is influenced by another, but it's probably some trope, so I fixed it and maybe the Trope Finder can help find this out.)

I skipped Not Allowed to Grow Up, because that's a different trope than what you mention here. Vague Age isn't quite right either.

• Status Quo Is God: The magical heroines might get hit with the Conflict Ball, be separated, die (and sometimes be corrupted into demons after dying), but in the end, everybody will be alive and on friendly terms anyway. Often, this is thanks to the Time Loop or rather, Omnnis's dimension-hopping.''

Edited by MichaelKatsuro on Aug 11th 2020 at 12:11:52 PM

So, can someone tell me if there is anything to correct ?

I just wonder, can I ask for a possible English check for an entire new page at this forum?

I have been working on a new works page that is finally starting to resemble something presentable, but as I have really been the only one working on it and I tend to have my quirks with the English language I could use someone more native to double check. (Also, I still suck at descriptions.)

If the answer is yes then the thing I want checked is the Avesta of Black and White segment of my Sandbox page. (As I am not sure you should post a full work page here on the forum.)

Edited by matteste on Aug 11th 2020 at 7:16:51 AM

Oh, thanks Michael Katsuro. However, there are birthday episodes in that game, so I’ll write Ageless Birthday Episode later.

"No matter how bad the heroes can get or how bad the situation is, we're sure we can overcome it and get our happy endings..."

jOSEFdelaville:

"who have a Peanut allergy" should be "who has a peanut allergy."

"Shadowling" doesn't need a capital S.

"backgound" should be "background".

There should be a comma before "however".

Edited by MichaelKatsuro on Aug 11th 2020 at 5:15:08 PM

Shyhero: One piece of advice I'd give you is to have a period at the end of sentences. You forget that sometimes.

Alright so if I understand it well, fictional species doesn't need to have the first letter capitalised and can take a plural S just like any real species. I don't know why but I though I heard that it shouldn't be the case.

Some writers use capital letters for fictional species, like in the Harry Potter series. It doesn't really make any sense—we don't capitalize "lion", "tiger" or "bear," so why capitalize "Hinkypunk?"

Yeah I had always found this weird myself but I remember people teaching me to threat fictional species as first name for some reason. At least it's convenient for me if this site goes in the way that's logical from my point of view about this subject. Though there are some pages here who capitalize fictional species name, should any future edit on them capitalize the name too for consistence ?

Edited by jOSEFdelaville on Aug 11th 2020 at 8:27:43 PM

In fantasy circles, it's common for fantasy races (like Elfs, Dwarfs) and so on to be capitalized. But if you ask me, that doesn't make sense, and anyway, a quick Google-search showed that that's not what's done with shadowlings.

From page 304, @stardust120:

Luke blames himself for the destruction of Southvein, the many lives lost after being manipulatived by Senegal, and not listening to Kanata and the others' warning about him.

In Abyss, Jade blames Luke for the destruction of Akzeriuth, leaves him and it takes a long time for Jade to trust him again. In Crestoria, he wasn't angry at or blaming Luke for the destruction of Southvein. He instead helps Luke another way to atone for his sins instead of giving up living.

x 16 @jOSEFdelaville

Obi-Wan's Big NO when Qui-Gon gets stabbed isn't dubbed in the French dub of the movie,<- comma likely because it already sounds a bit like the French word "non".

^ This is one sentence improperly split up into two sentences. You know that because the second sentence is a sentence fragment: it can't stand by itself.

The ability to see your opponents' attack moves and stats is justified by your main character's telepathic powers allowing them to read their opponents' minds.

(Note: Shadowlings are a species, do I need to remove the S for plural for fictionnal species ? And does the first letter always need to be capitalised like I did?)

In this specific case, you must capitalize "Shadowlings" because it's the first word in the sentence. More generally, whether you capitalize the name or not depends on whether it's a proper noun/name or a common noun.

It appears that whether a fictional species name is capitalized or not depends on whether the species is as intelligent as a human or not.

For example, in the Star Trek universe the names Klingon, Romulan, Horta, Bajoran, Breen, Organian and so on are capitalized because these alien races are intelligent. The names of species with only animal-level intelligence are not, e.g. the mugato (a gorilla-like alien), tribble etc.

So whether "Shadowlings" is capitalized would depend on whether they have human-level (or higher) intelligence or not.

Also, fictionnal -> fictional.

Discussed in the bio of a Toppat member named Peanut who has a peanut allergy.

Discussed in the bio of a background Toppat member named Gone Hunter who is said to always pick rock when playing Rock, Paper, Scissors. He doesn't mind losing,<- comma however.

Edited by Arivne on Aug 11th 2020 at 1:17:53 AM

Tales of Crestoria Characters

• Affectionate Nickname: Play straight and subverted.
  • Yuna calls Kanata, "Kanana" in a friendly manner.
  • Makina calls Kanata, "Kanny-kan" or Oni-chan in the Japanese version as either an insult, name calling or she doesn't care about remembering his actual name.
• I Will Find You: Yuna is currently looking for a transgressor and former test subject of Malholm named Genitz who may or may not be alive. The relationship between them is currently unknown and why she's searching for him in the first place.

Tales of Crestoria Fridge

• Fridge Brilliance: In Chapter 4, The reason Senegal falsely reports Luke as hero instead as a killer because if he reports Luke as a killer and Southmine's destruction, not only he will be branded as a transgressor, but it may lead to another war against Medagal or Luke's parents hired an assassin to kill him. It makes senses why Senegal have no intention turning Luke into a transgressor.

Fate/type Redline Characters

• Beauty Is Never Tarnished: Subverted. When Tsukumo is held captive by Assassin, she receives a broken nose, a head injury, and lose four of her left fingers from Assassin.

Edited by Stardust120 on Aug 12th 2020 at 8:33:56 AM

• Affectionate Nickname: Played straight and subverted.
  • Yuna calls Kanata <- no comma "Kanana" in a friendly manner.
  • Makina calls Kanata <- no comma "Kanny-kan" or Oni-chan in the Japanese version as either an insult, name calling or not caring about remembering his actual name.

Yuna is currently looking for a transgressor and former test subject of Malholm named Genitz,<- comma who may or may not be alive. The relationship between them is currently unknown,<- comma as is why she's searching for him in the first place.

In Chapter 4, the reason Senegal falsely reports Luke as a hero instead of as a killer is because if he reports Luke as a killer and Southmine's destruction, not only will Luke be branded as a transgressor, but it may lead to another war against Medagal or Luke's parents hiring an assassin to kill him. It makes sense if you know that Senegal has no intention of turning Luke into a transgressor.

When Tsukumo is held captive by Assassin, she receives a broken nose, a head injury, and the loss of four of her left fingers from Assassin.

^ I assume the character's name is "Assassin"?

Edited by Arivne on Aug 12th 2020 at 9:50:12 AM

The Key Is Behindthe Lock This might count.

In Stardew Valley If you want to give a gift to an NPC early in the game you might find yourself waiting outside of their room for them to leave so you can get to them. As soon as they leave you can give them the gift and potentially have access to their room.

Titeuf:

• Playing Sick: Titeuf tries to play sick so he won't go to school. His mother doesn't believe him but gives him a chance to prove it by giving him a thermometer. He puts it on a radiator when she leaves his room and when she come back she panic because the thermometer is boiling hot, she then gives a cold shower to Titeuf who ends up sick for real.

Boss Subtitles:

• Being a Parody of Super Smash Bros, Smash Bros. Lawl uses similar newcommer tagline to Super Smash Bros 4 and Ultimate for the fighters' moveset video's thumbnails on Youtube. Though not everyone has one.

(Note: At this point I would put a list but that's not relevant to the topic since it would be copy-pasting already written text)

Megamind - Characters (Minion):

• Dub Name Change: His French name is Nounou, meaning "Nanny".

Vomit Indiscretion Shot:

• In Warcraft II: ogres vomit when they die.

Inspector Canardo:

• Death Seeker: Lili Niagara wants to die for most of The Suave Death, but she specifically wants a quick death because she can't stand her pain.
• Driven to Suicide: At then end of The Suave Death, Canardo leaves his gun near a suffering Lili. Once he's far away, he hears her shooting herself.
• Mix-and-Match Critter: Shaggy Dog Story has a cat-bird hybrid named Faust. He is likely made by the mad scientist of the story.

Edited by jOSEFdelaville on Aug 14th 2020 at 6:46:39 PM

@Shyhero

In Stardew Valley,<- comma if you want to give a gift to an NPC early in the game,<- comma you might find yourself waiting outside of their room for them to leave so you can get to them. As soon as they leave,<- comma you can give them the gift and potentially have access to their room.