Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. But it looks so good, everyone ends up jealous of it and kill you to have it themselves.

I wish I could visit the Super Smash Bros. World for a whole month.

Edited by VengefulBale on Nov 23rd 2018 at 12:54:24 PM

Granted. You fight, and fight, and fight UNTIL YOU DIE!

I wish I could have a pet baby Utahraptor for free and tamed and have the universe to not explode.

Granted. you explode instead.

I wish for chocolate flavoured fruit so can eat a more healthy alternative.

Edited by shackwave on Nov 23rd 2018 at 8:55:11 PM

Granted. However, the only fruits available in chocolate are durians.

I wish for no blizzards, ever.

Granted. The world is now a giant desert.

I wish Santa Claus was real.

Granted. But you're always on the naughty list every year.

I wish there was a new F-Zero game.

Granted but it's Japan-only and exporting it will result in serious law punishment.

I wish I could become a dinosaur for a day and become invulnerable to any damage and unkillable.

Granted, you are an invulnerable dinosaur for a day at the end of which you disappear entirely and never return as you didn't wish to turn back into a human or be a dinosaur for more then a day.

I wish that I was the most powerful genie in the world!

Granted. Genies don't exist, so you just disappear.

I wish I could give Vinesauce Joel one dollar.

Edited by SuperNerd on Nov 24th 2018 at 10:07:25 AM

Granted. But that dollar was your only money left and you end up homeless.

I wish I could have the power to erase people from existence with no drawbacks

Granted, you can only erase them bit by bit with an eraser, which is boring, time-consuming and tiring.

I wish Arthur Morgan would be resurrected as a zombie and thus earn his happy ending in Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare.

Edited by Mhazard on Nov 25th 2018 at 2:25:52 AM

Granted. But a sequel is produced where a Happy Ending Override undoes that.

I wish Monster Hunter: Frontier was released in America.

Edited by VengefulBale on Nov 24th 2018 at 12:37:35 PM

Granted. It is terrible.

I wish to not explode. And have a pecan pie.

Granted. The pecan pie explodes after you eat it.

I wish we could find out if the guests on your typical Jerry or Maury episode really swear as much as the Sound Effect Bleeps want us to believe.

Granted, but you still cannot trust the answer thanks to Manipulative Editing and Executive Meddling.

I wish for the Star Wars Holiday Special to be Retgone.

Granted. This has the side effect of drastically changing the present, for good or for worse. Maybe worse.

I wish Yu Miaoyi got rid of that debuff demerit

Granted. Literally everything else sucks.

I wish that I was, physically, a perfect clone of the Arrowverse Killer Frost, complete with powers and voice, but retained my own mind.

Granted... Problem is, a lot of people simply didn't believe that you retained your mind and they decided to kill you before you caused any damage by ANY means necessary.

I wish for the power to teleport anywhere on earth from any distance.

Granted, you can't teleport your clothes at the same time...

I wish I can cuddle Pecheneg.

Edited by Mhazard on Dec 14th 2018 at 10:07:51 PM

You quickly realize the weeb trash you've become.

I wish for an english mother 3 release.

Edited by HyperReal on Dec 14th 2018 at 6:09:12 AM

Granted, but you forgot to wish for a top-notch localization staff, and now everyone has to suffer through a Translation Trainwreck.

I wish I could take back all the bad things I've said about Barney & Friends knowing that there is much, much worse out there today.

Granted. You say a bad thing about other show. You realize that there is much worse. Rinse, wash, and repeat.

I wish I could sing all the digits of pi without dying.

Granted. It sounds like Rebecca Black singing Friday, and you lose all your friends over it.

I wish the far right would stop getting offended by people saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.

Granted. Now that they're offended by one less thing, they can now devote even more time getting offended over the existence of women and minorities!

I wish I had the power to turn into any animal I want for however long I want.

Granted, but everytime you use that power you become more and more feral, until you devolve into a mindless beast.

I wish I could make all my ships canon.