Fix a wish!

However the opposite is true, whenever you walk to the ocean to try and drown you float up and begin swimming, when you try and stop those trying to help you, you help them, you slowly get used to your new backwards life, Finding yourself with some powers that you didn’t really expect from intent meaning the opposite.

I wish that during the middle of a season of The Challenge all of the veterans went missing, and Fictional Characters angry that they were ripped out of their worlds were found in their place.

Try out my new forum game! Man this formating is hard.

The anger is not directed at you, and you help them return to there worlds.

I wish to be invited to the cannibal feast as the main course.

Your word is my command! The cannibals are actually a bunch of humans warped into potted houseplants (no, not like that) by witchcraft, and you're the main course. Since they're literally just plants now, they don't even have the mental capacity to be disappointed that they don't get to eat you. They have no possible way to chew each other out either, so all is well. And super mundane.

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I wish I spent the rest of my eternity falling down an endless flight of steep stairs.

Edited by TomoeHawk on Dec 24th 2021 at 11:55:19 AM

Granted. At least someone took the time to warn you beforehand, so you get all armored up, minimizing your injuries.

I wish I was a victim of Order 66.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Granted. Somehow, just before you’re found, you un-become a Jedi.

I wish that the Heat Death of the universe that we’re in happens tomorrow in real life.

Cambrian animals sure are weird, am I right?

Granted, turns out the Omega Point theory is somehow right so everything is more than fine.

I wish Swampletics was caught skilling outside of Morytania.

Granted. He doesn't get punished and he promises it won't happen again.

I wish I had permanent insomnia.

"My swimsuit fits me well, right?" - Cynthia

Granted. The need for sleep is also removed so it has no negative effect on you.

I wish I was Norted. (I don't actually know what that means)

"Hope for our world, tragedy for another."

Swampletics is a RuneScape player who is famous for remaining in Morytania as a Self-Imposed Challenge. Him skilling outside Morytania is sort of equivalent to a Pokémon player doing a Nuzlocke using a Pokemon that should be dead, so the idea of not being punished as improving the situation doesn’t really apply.

Granted, you get a special deal for amazingly effective antivirus software from Norton.

I wish I was shot through the heart by Bon Jovi.

Granted. The bullet is shrunken down to the size of an atom, so it does no real damage.

I wish the Sun exploded today, in the reality we are currently in.

(the last bit is so no “alternate universe” things can happen)

Cambrian animals sure are weird, am I right?

The Sun does indeed explode... where the Sun means the Sun of an alien world that was devoid of life anyways.

I wish for infinite chocolate but all the chocolate is poisoned and tastes awful.

"Hope for our world, tragedy for another."

The antidote to chocolate poisoning is peanut butter, so enjoy your Snickers.

Also it tastes awful in the original sense of the word, full of awe.

I wish for the Joker to show me a "magic trick".

Edited by randomtroper89 on Jan 3rd 2022 at 5:03:48 AM

Granted. For once, he shows an actual magic trick, turning a pencil into a flower.

I wish I got interrupted every time I started working.

Granted. It doesn’t apply for the job you want most. Eventually you get that job, and you never get interrupted at work again.

I wish that the Earth of our reality was consumed by a supermassive black hole.

Cambrian animals sure are weird, am I right?

Granted, it’s actually a special black hole that is able to function as a safe wormhole, and it leads to a solar system aggregating several species of benevolent technologically advanced aliens who we, thank goodness, have peaceful relations with.

I wish to learn something that causes me to Go Mad from the Revelation.

you learn the secret to physically generating mass with your mind alone. Which while it does make you mad the anger quickly fades and you proceed to usher in a physic based technological singularity.

I wish i was the sole dictator over all of humanity.

I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting

Granted. You have a Heel Realization and give up your position of power so that people can lead themselves.

I wish All For One was U.S. president.

"My swimsuit fits me well, right?" - Cynthia

granted. he passes policies that greatly help the poor and sick, and instates free healthcare for all

I wish that a void would swallow the earth

What do you mean there's no Morphogenetic Field? then what happened to that guy I shot?

...and send us to a much better better alternate universe.

I wish ThisVeryWiki didn't exist. Forever.

You keep using the term "POV". I do not think it means what you think it means.

Granted. Everybody moves to All The Tropes which renames itself to TV Tropes and later starts using the exact same software as TV Tropes. Alas, there's no saving the funny forum posts or this game.

I wish that every time I opened my mouth, I threw up.

"Hope for our world, tragedy for another."

Granted. You become a basketball star.

I wish that, when A Message From Earth reaches Gliexe 581c in 2029, it triggers a successful Dark Forest strike against Earth.

Edited by VampireBuddha on Jan 14th 2022 at 6:12:09 PM

Ukrainian Red Cross

Granted. The message brings news of the poor working conditions in the dark forests on Earth. Aliens then come to support striking workers, allowing them to negotiate for better pay, better hours and better safety oversight. Not only are labour laws slightly better on Earth now, but we've fostered more interplanetary cooperation.

I wish for an angry mob to come after me.

I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.

Granted, you bring to light a serious societal problem as well as a working solution to it, causing people to be angry at the societal issue but happy at you for being able to fix it, and so the angry mob gives you $10 each, funding your project that solves it.

I wish Star Wars: A New Hope ended with a stormtrooper on the Death Star hitting and killing Luke Skywalker, roll credits.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Jan 14th 2022 at 4:24:43 AM

Granted: since Stormtroopers never hit, nothing happens.

I wish that Eta Carinae blew up today, and its gamma ray burst wipes out all life on Earth.

Edited by IC1101 on Jan 15th 2022 at 10:24:22 AM

Cambrian animals sure are weird, am I right?

Granted. This happens in an alternate reality, so in our universe, Earth is not affected.

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bump

Edited by clemont107 on Jan 21st 2022 at 9:38:48 AM

"My swimsuit fits me well, right?" - Cynthia