Do you want kids?

No.

I have one kid. She's freakin' FABULOUS. I love her more than I ever thought I could love anything or anyone. I very much wanted her, my ex-husband and I planned for her, and we still work together to raise her even though we're not a couple. That said, I don't want any *more* kids. It's impossible to know how one will respond to pregnancy and caring for a baby until it actually happens. Many women love it; my mom and a few friends of mine have all said, "I'd have ten babies if I could." I hated it. I crashed and burned, HARD. Pregnancy was miserable, postpartum depression nearly killed me, and I decided that I was never going through that again.

I intend to adopt. I love kids. When I was a kid I though other kids were adorible. Don't think I could stand being pregnant though. OCD and stuff would make it hell.

My future son will be named Sebastian Joby Rainwater. Daughter will be Alice Hellen Rainwater.

Never have. I love my parents with all my heart, but they're literally the only good parents I know in real life. I sure as heck know that I would be the worst father in the world, not to mention that I would have to give up on everything I want in life if I had kids. I've never even had the courage to admit this before now, and reading this thread makes me glad to know that I'm not some kind of freak for not wanting to be a parent.

I do know that I want to leave something in this world that will prove I existed after I'm gone. Just not my genes.

I think I'd like to have kids someday, but I've been thinking a lot about the environmental impact of that. It might seem callous and unfeeling, but every child has a huge carbon footprint so from an environmental standpoint it's not the best move. Someone suggested to me that I might consider adopting a child though, and I kinda like the sound of that...

I don't mind being around kids, and I think I'd make a good mother... sometimes I even fantasize about teaching one or two of them (not a whole classroom full of them; tried that, couldn't handle kids I barely knew) about things and taking them places and such. I am even on the verge of getting married and am in a good position to start a family.

However, despite that, I have no desire to actually have any children. Why? I'm too ambitious and do not have the time. My day job takes up enough of my time, and I'd rather use the time I have left to work on my artistic endeavors... music, fiction, and the like. I guess you might say they are my children.^note You can especially make the case for fictional characters—they're like children, except that you're allowed, or even encouraged, to do horrible things to them. Fortunately my fiance also isn't too keen on the idea, and his brother who lives nearby has two kids, so if nothing else we can go visit them on occasion.

I want kids, but my parents don't think I'll be capable of looking after myself while raising a newborn baby (because it cries a lot and because I'm hearing impaired). It doesn't look too hard though, according to the parents at the local park's playground...

Mmm, very likely no.

I am a sex-repulsed asexual, so if I ever decided to have kids I would most likely adopt. But adoption is hard, it's even harder for single-parents to adopt, adoption is stressful in general, etc. Even if I did adopt a kid it would be hard because I have OCD and act like a crazy neat freak/germaphobe (and repetitive/looping over-and-over thoughts all the time, as well as the good old "go check the door 5 times or you might accidentally leave it open and the doggos will escape!" and having to go back and forth to check the door 5 times.), and since children are very messy in literally everything they do - sneezing, eating, talking, etc. I don't think I could handle it too well. (Sometimes even adults accidentally getting a bit of food on their face or whatever makes me feel sick so I would probably faint at the sight of a baby covering themselves in spaghetti, cereal, yogurt or popsicles or whatever - which babies LOVE to do.)

Not to mention I'm not the world's biggest fan of little kids. Especially when they scream and cry and throw tantrums at the shop, and talk 24/7. Hurts my ears every time. I don't think it's that I hate little kids but just that I don't have the skills to hang around them, plus they can be loud and I hate loud stuff. When little kids are quiet and not messy, they're usually pretty nice to be around.

Yeah. I think I'm better off being an aunty. I'd be an absolutely terrible mother (I'm nice and empathetic if a bit awkward, but I feel I lack most of the "mother skills" needed to be a mother, such as social skills and the ability to clean up messes after little kids without feeling the urge to puke my guts out) but I think I'd be a great aunty - I would love to be a sort of friend/mentor-type to my future nieces/nephews/whatever.

I think I posted here before, but yes, I want 'em. As many as I can afford to raise, in fact!

Three or maybe even four kids would be the perfect number for me. Very expensive and loud, but perfect.

no

Fuck no.

Not only would I never want to subject a child to whatever genetic dumpster fire I ended up with, but I would be creating life in the most tumultuous and uncertain time in history. I don't want to raise a kid only to have the world economy come out from under me, or the second act of the climate catastrophe kick in, or some unstable right-wing populist leader to start WWIII.

Even if my all-consuming fear for the future is proven wrong, I would want my child to live in the optimistic, peaceful time and not the era of strife that came before.

By the way I'm not trying to guilt anyone, you're free to have your own beliefs on the direction our world is going. If anything I wish I was still the optimistic moderate transhumanist I was in high school and wouldn't wish this level of cynicism on anyone. Unless they're assholes, but they're probably assholes from being cynical anyway.

Still really want them.

Heck no - I'd be an awful mother. I like kids, but I'm naturally selfish, and I have low empathy and tolerance for stress.

My grandmother was a lot like me. She had nine kids. By the time she died, most of them weren't on speaking terms with her. My mom spent most of her childhood feeling unloved. I don't want to do that to a child.

I'd love to be a mom someday. However, that's probably not for another 10-20 years from now because I want to establish a career, get in a stable relationship, and a proper place to live. Plus I want to adopt, and adoption sure isn't cheap or easy.

I just want to be the best mom my future kids never had before, and as a broke, single 21-year-old college student I definitely can't provide that right now. Good thing I'm a lesbian and on birth control. Honestly, I think I'm doing just fine waiting.

Edited by CustardAndPie on Jun 11th 2020 at 3:22:13 AM

I was trawling the forums (not a place where I've historically spent much time) and found this thread, quite ironically, on the same day my wife will visit her gynecologist to start this discussion. Felt like a sign that I should post.

We're both a bit older (mid-30s) and dated for five years before marrying, so we've never been in much of a rush. Both of us have the mindset that we don't NEED to have kids, but we both kind of want to. Her having that appointment today gave me my first pang of anxiety over the idea. We're certainly not where we'd like to be in life if we do indeed start trying soon...(I lost my job of 12 years last year, spent some time unemployed, found a new job that required a move, she moved with me and started a new job, and, oh yeah, we got married...) We want to buy a house this summer, money is tight from all of the expenses that went along with the events of the previous sentence...but given that we're older, we don't have a lot of time to wait. Weirdly, I remember Ben's line from Parks and Recreation when he and Leslie want to start trying for kids - "There's never a GOOD time to have kids..." and I try to keep that in mind.

Also, I'm weirdly, specifically terrified of having a boy. I was reading an old article about Kobe Bryant recently (RIP) who had four daughters and, in it, he stated that he was a "daughter dad". I felt that idea and it really stuck with me, I can really understand that feeling. I don't know how I'd be with a son...I had a lot of issues growing up with my own father and that may be tainting my feelings a bit. (We're much better now.)

My wife has also stated that she'd be fine with only having one (though she sees some of the issues her only-child niece seems to have and thinks she would benefit from a sibling, so maybe her mind is changing). I'd like to have one of our own and then, in a few years, if all is going well, adopt a second one. (Takes the biological urgency off the table for us as well.)

Anyway, thanks for letting me brain dump.

I plan on adopting.

The planet has enough people in it already, I don't want to add more to that pile.

Could always do it like I plan to do and adopt.

Edited by HailMuffins on Mar 3rd 2020 at 6:18:43 AM

Popping by about a year later to say NO. Just wanted to join in.

I don't think I really thought about it until middle school. I did a lot of babysitting for surprises. Felt like because I was a homebody, everyone just dumped the kids on me without really asking. So I got a tiny bit of resentment there.

But ultimately, I just don't want the responsibility. The work. The effort. The sacrifices. None of that. I just wanna focus on me, myself and I.

Turned thirty recently. Kinda feel like I should be a dad by now. My partner and I both want kids but we're waiting until we're financially stable which, given everything that's happening in the world right now, may be never.

But I really, really want to be a parent.

Here’s a hot take for you all:

Yes.

Coming back to this thread to say getting diagnosed with a rare, severe genetic disorder's further strengthened my decision to adopt. I want to be a mom but I also don't want to make a child go through the same things I'm going through.

I dont want kids but I'll settle for a goat

Maybe. Gonna be a bit of an experience figuring out what to do should I want biological offspring, given that without preplanning HRT will nip that in the bud, but I dunno, parenting is already an adventure, for better and for worse. Either way, if I do, it'll be at a slightly older age than I think most people have kids. Seems insane to me to reproduce before twenty-five or so, and below thirty still seems a bit shaky.

If I ever get kids, I'm adopting. I made my choice 2 years ago and it has to do with the things I've experienced and seen other people go through.

Oh lordy. I posted on this thread way back on page 1, and Let's Just Say Things Have Changed Since Then.

I definitely wanted kids when I was younger, but now? I'm not sure I'd have the energy to be a good 24/7 caretaker. I still love my niece and nephew (the latter of whom wasn't even born yet when I originally posted), but they're a handful!

Well now I have a kid. Sophie's 6 now and I'm kinda afraid that she likes video games like her dad lol.

She likes Sarah and Duck, Spongebob and loves to draw and to make small handcrafts. She loves to play as Arthur on "That Cowboy Game" and jump around on Rocket League.

She was born with Cleft lip/palate and I spend a small fortune on speech therapy.