The strangest thing you've said today...

"Hey dum-dum! You give me gum-gum!"

"My entire moveset is based around this guy. Killing him, looking like him, or preferably both."

"This guy" being the Devourer of Gods.

"Wait, how does a toy get drunk?"

"You're certifiable."

“How did I miss five crusades?”

"Why does this song go well with worm murder?"

Edited by Emperor_Ing on Mar 31st 2019 at 1:04:03 PM

"It's okay to advocate genocide if it's all of humanity."

"To Margate, to Margate, to buy a fat pig! Home again, home again, jiggity jig! To Margate, to Margate, to buy a laptop! Home again, home again, jiggity jop!"

"Fuck, it's the Santa! Shoot him already!"

So my brother decided to randomly spawn the Frost Moon while we were in co-op Terraria and this happened

“If your friend has a penis, forget it.”

"If there was a naked mime dancing in the lobby, [the store manager] wouldn't bat an eye."

Edited by WillDeRegio on Apr 4th 2019 at 4:00:31 AM

"It does not matter how invincible you are, because his head is just the living embodiment of fuck you."

"Who would've thought you'd find real honey at a butcher shop?"

"Hey look, we have the perfect debt recovery tool!"

(said while holding up a phone book)

Don't mind me, I'm just sitting on some milk crates drinking Iron Buddha and enjoying this pineapple.

I feel like I've been strung up by may ankles and exsanguinated while being forced to sing Mary had a little lamb after walking on Saturn in platform shoes in my housecoat.

I dunno man, i'm all for killing, but if i'm killed first, then who would help you hide my body?

My only excuse? I was sick.

"Astrally projecting in the name of national security."

"It's like a drunk-driving Russian nesting doll!"

"To quote a classic: 'I say, a moving grove.' And to quote another classic: 'Can you tell me, why the fuck would I need a grove?'"

(the latter is a quote from a Polish Movie-Making Mess movie "Nic Smiesznego")

"This isn't communism, we can't both get stabbed!"

Something I actually texted my mom today, word-for-word:

"I tried a different foot peeling mask last week and oh my god it's working. I am the lizard woman."

"How many brain farts does it take to get to the center of... what do you get to the center of with brain farts?"

Jesus didn’t commit genocide.

"Technical glitch. It happens. A LOT ACTUALLY. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Edited by BrightLight on Apr 17th 2019 at 1:39:28 AM

"Hide yo weeds, hide yo kife!"

"These are baby bastard flies."

"I don't know why we needed homing mantises but okay."