Warp That Aesop / Jem

• Being two people involved with the same man is okay.
• Vandalism, kidnapping, terroristic threats and attempted murder aren't serious crimes if you have a good enough lawyer to bail you out of these charges.
• The word "Mulberry" sounds like a new soda for wimps!
• Mothers are usually dead, missing or a useless background character.
• Euro trash makes for master manipulators or sexually charged people who can't take no for an answer. Especially when two out of three are Americans.
  • Also, you should only love a woman for her beauty and how "perfect" a match you two would be, regardless of her relationship status or apparent lack of interest.
  • If your two bandmates ultimately show signs of decency and vulnerability and are implied to be forgiven, so will you in spite of humiliating and defrauding everyone you met since your introduction without a hint of remorse.
• "Hollywood Jem" (parts 1 and 2): There's nothing wrong with manipulating two men into marrying you, especially as a means of getting away from your overbearing older sister. You'll not only be looked at as a heroine, but your relationship with one of them will more likely than not continue, even though he seriously injured himself trying to impress you.
• "KJEM": Black people cannot be villains in cartoons, and if they are, they should be implied to get away with their crimes.
  • Also, who cares if you were unwittingly roped into a scheme. Because of your history, you'll still be arrested in spite of no prior knowledge of any wrongdoing.
• "Roxy Rumbles": Poor and illiterate people don't deserve to win the lottery.
• Desk lamps are difficult to handle, especially when wrapped around your neck.
• While ultimately being replaced as both the band's drummer and primary fashion designer is a drag, a good trade-off is to be the only member in a genuinely loving and stable relationship.
• You can be considered the heroine of a cartoon and the face of everything virtuous while lying to your boyfriend and getting all your friends to do the same.
• Never try to change for the better; it will only end in ruin and there will always be at least one person who refuses to forgive your past mistakes.
• If someone wants you to be more likable, you should promptly put them out of work.
• Dump the goody-goody; she'll break your heart in two!
• If someone accidentally discovers your secret identity, the best way to keep their silence is to let them in your band. After all, it's for the best and allows for more diversity in the group.
• "Adventures in China", "In Search of the Stolen Album" and "Scandal": Keep your personal, priceless property either in your possession or under lock and key.
• Gumballs represent happiness and goodwill and taste like a million dollars, too.
• French lessons won't make the Top 20 music countdown.
• Skateboarding in heels is easy.
• Your road manager doubles as a groupie/flunky.
• Just because you sport a musical instrument doesn't mean that you can actually play it.
• Security guards are simply a formality to appear competent; anyone can get past them without having an issue.
• Women and small girls have a knack for getting locked inside of various kinds of trunks, be it luggage or a car's boot.
• Cousins are mortal enemies.