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Quotes / The Masquerade Will Kill Your Dating Life

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Comic Books

"Sometimes being a swinging bachelorette isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes it's so hard to keep on my happy-go-lucky face all seems like a hubby, a house, and 2 to 3 kids would be just the ticket. But you had a shot at that didn't you, M. J.—and you couldn't have asked for a better catch than Peter Parker. There was only one problem: I figured out that Peter was really Spider-Man—and once I realized that, I knew I could never marry someone who I never knew for sure would come home from work alive!...Oh, why does he have to have such a darn high sense of responsibility?...If only he were less altruistic — I would've accepted his proposal on the spot. But if he was different...he wouldn't be the same guy you loved, would he, M. J,? Face it, lady: Peter Parker and Spider-Man—two sides of the same coin."
Mary Jane Watson's thought bubbles, Web of Spider-Man, Issue #6 Vol. 1, written by Danny Fingeroth

Peter: I mean, Peter Parker, but no Spider-Man. I thought that was what you always wanted, MJ.
Mary Jane: Hh. I thought so too, I guess. But leave it to this...very messed-up situation to make me believe otherwise, tiger. I used to dream of a life where we could just be us, you know? With no Green Goblins or Venoms making everything such a horror show. But here's the thing — that wouldn't be us, would it? Because it wouldn't be you. As much as it might scare me or frustrate me or, yeah — even endanger me — I can't change that. I don't want to change that. The guy I'm in love with is a hero. He puts on a costume and risks his life to help other people for no reason other than that it's the right thing to do. And yes, that burden he carries around is why I kept pushing him away. But now I'm starting to realize it's also why I kept coming back to him.
— This trope being defied in Amazing Spider-Man Vol. 5 #5 (2018)


"If you want to date this Sajan boy, that's okay. Just remember what you are. Because if you forget... the boy will remind you, when he finds out."
Clauss, Unique

Live-Action TV

"You are not, by any chance, betraying your secret identity just to impress cute boys, are you?"

"Doctor, here's a tip. When I am on a date, when that rare and special thing happens in my real life, do not- do not, under any circumstances, put the Pope in my bedroom!"
Bill Potts, Doctor Who, "Extremis"

Western Animation

DD: How does that relationship not work? I can’t remember, why does she end up not with him?
CA: At the end of the episode she basically says, "I like you a lot but you’re the god damn Batman and that’s whack."

"In other words, duties before cuties."


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