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Radio
"There is such a thing as sentimentality porn."
— Mark Kermode, Marley & Me review
Theatre
"So damn cute you choke on all the sappy sweet glucose-ness...."
— Mary Poppins, Forbidden Broadway
Web Animation
Twilight: This book is from across the sea.
Spike: That's where all those weird ponies and humans live, right?
Twilight: They're not weird, Spike! They're just...
Spike: They're just what?
[Cut to previous-generation ponies]
Twilight: Uh... really... happy...
Spike: They seem too frolicky for my taste...
Spike: That's where all those weird ponies and humans live, right?
Twilight: They're not weird, Spike! They're just...
Spike: They're just what?
[Cut to previous-generation ponies]
Twilight: Uh... really... happy...
Spike: They seem too frolicky for my taste...
God Of War III dives into full parody mode, with lines like "the power of forgiveness comes from within" and "hope is what makes us strong. It's why we're here". These sort of lines belong in bad children's television (cue image of Teletubbies), not in mature-rated games and definitely not in Greek Tragedy.
— Extra Credits, No Redeeming Value- Why The God of War Sequels Fail At Storytelling.
Web Original
"What happens when you write a Chinese play is that before you know where you are your heroine has gone cute on you, adding just that touch of glucose to the part which renders it unsuitable for human consumption."
— Bring on the Girls! by P. G. Wodehouse and Guy Bolton, on the authors' Creator Backlash operetta The Rose of China
"Imagine eating a giant bag of Skittles, then throwing it all up in a fit of sugar-induced nausea and you’ll have some idea of what it feels like to sit through "My Little Pony: The Movie." Shrieky, garish and incessantly perky, the movie version of the long-running TV show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" is unlikely to win any new converts. It’s an animated film that's really intended for the littlest of little kids, who surely will respond to it on a primal, visceral level. This is probably an ideal first movie-going experience for young viewers in that it’s harmless, even though it's terrible."
—Christy Lemire of www.rogerebert.com, on My Little Pony: The Movie (2017)
Web Video
Nostalgia Critic: Could you make something with a little more intelligence and charm to it? I mean, this is so annoying.
Stanley: But annoyance is part of my charm. I'm like that cute little puppy that barks a lot, or a unicorn's horn shoved up your ass, or pancreatic cancer.
Stanley: But annoyance is part of my charm. I'm like that cute little puppy that barks a lot, or a unicorn's horn shoved up your ass, or pancreatic cancer.
— The Nostalgia Critic's review of A Troll in Central Park
"Stop it! You're making Full House look like a Holocaust drama!"
—The Nostalgia Critic's review of Bridge to Terabithia, in the scene where Leslie's family dances while painting their wall
"With each passing second, my brain is getting more and more candy-coated. Is brain diabetes a thing?"
"I'm a diabetic, right, and it wasn't the goddamn ice cream killing me with all the sugar, the cuteness of this place would've."
— Joel of Vinesauce, talking about going to a maid cafe during his trip to Japan
So how would I describe the experience of watching an, animated classic such as A Troll in Central Park? You ever stared intently into an rainbow until you go blind? You ever opened up a five-year old girl's Lisa Frank coloring book, barf rainbows onto it and wondered; "What if this was tackier?" Okay, take that, and multiply it, by six! It is a piece of media so sickly sweet, so unbearably cutesy, so full of happiness and hugs and the laughter of babies, that I, no joke, not hyperbole, got nauseated watching it. I had to take breaks, and watch the film in increments to get through it all, I'm dead fucking serious. During the drafting of this very script, I went to see Terrifier 2 in theaters. A slasher horror film, supposedly so graphic, it caused faintings, vomiting and a trip to the emergency room. I went into that, sat through it, and came back out without so much as a cramp, but A Troll in Central Park got my stomach churning 25 minutes in. It's a product, an audio video presentation that makes me hate. Happiness. The very thought of it makes me want to... (screen cuts to black screen with a text reading; "Close your eyes and imagine") eat a newborn puppy in front of a toddler to simultaneously destroy life and ruin innocence at the same time!
— Just Stop on A Troll in Central Park
Real Life
"...And it is that word 'hummy', my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader Fwowed up."
