"Steve, Steve and I have something to tell you."
— Mike Nelson, Mystery Science Theater 3000, "Night of the Blood Beast"
"We are the Rare Hunters. My name is Steve. These are my associates. They are also called Steve."
"Scott, Scott, Jennifer, Scott, Scott, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer, Scott, Scott, Jennifer, Jennifer ..."
— Caption on a kindergarten class photo, c. 1980
Doc Ruby: Understood. Our team is the Rubies. Consisting of Ruby!
Ruby Ruby: Ruby!
Navy Ruby: Ruby!
Army Ruby: Ruby!
Eyeball Ruby: Ruby!
Leggy Ruby: And Ruby!
Ruby Ruby: Ruby!
Navy Ruby: Ruby!
Army Ruby: Ruby!
Eyeball Ruby: Ruby!
Leggy Ruby: And Ruby!
"Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich?"
— Malkovich, Being John Malkovich
Bruce 1: Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce a chap from Pommyland who's joining us this year here in the Philosophy Department of the University of Woolloomooloo. Michael Baldwin, Bruce; Michael Baldwin, Bruce; Michael Baldwin, Bruce.
Bruce 2: Is your name not Bruce?
Michael: No, it's Michael.
Bruce 3: That's going to cause a little confusion.
Bruce 4: Mind if we call you Bruce to keep it clear?
I had an Edward, till a Richard killed him,
I had a Harry, till a Richard killed him,
Thou hadst an Edward, till a Richard killed him,
Thou hadst a Richard, till a Richard killed him.
I had a Harry, till a Richard killed him,
Thou hadst an Edward, till a Richard killed him,
Thou hadst a Richard, till a Richard killed him.
—Queen Margaret, Richard III
"hOI!! im temmie!!! and dis is my friend...temmie!!!"
"hOI!! im temmie!!! don forget my friend!"
"Hi. I'm Bob."
"hOI!! im temmie!!! don forget my friend!"
"Hi. I'm Bob."
—Temmie, Undertale
You might be surprised to learn that all red oaks are named Red.
Likewise, all sugar maples are called Sugar. All junipers are called Juniper. And all boojum trees are called Boojum.
That’s how it is in tree world. We don’t need names to tell one another apart.
Imagine a classroom where every child is named Melvin. Imagine the poor teacher trying to take attendance each morning.
It’s a good thing trees don’t go to school.
Of course, there are exceptions to the name rule. Somewhere in Los Angeles there’s a palm tree who insists on being called Karma, but you know how Californians can be.
Likewise, all sugar maples are called Sugar. All junipers are called Juniper. And all boojum trees are called Boojum.
That’s how it is in tree world. We don’t need names to tell one another apart.
Imagine a classroom where every child is named Melvin. Imagine the poor teacher trying to take attendance each morning.
It’s a good thing trees don’t go to school.
Of course, there are exceptions to the name rule. Somewhere in Los Angeles there’s a palm tree who insists on being called Karma, but you know how Californians can be.
—Red, Wishtree by K. A. Applegate
Zathras: We have never met before. But Zathras very pleased to be meeting you.
Ivanova: No, we have met.
Zathras: ...No- Oh! No, noo. No no. That was not Zathras, that was Zathras. There are 10 of us, all of family Zathras, each one named Zathras. Slight differences in how you pronounce: Zathras, Zathras, Zathras... You are seeing now?
Ivanova: No, we have met.
Zathras: ...No- Oh! No, noo. No no. That was not Zathras, that was Zathras. There are 10 of us, all of family Zathras, each one named Zathras. Slight differences in how you pronounce: Zathras, Zathras, Zathras... You are seeing now?
— Zathras, Babylon 5 — "Conflicts of Interest"
Spartacus.
Here.
Spartacus.
Here.
Spartacus.
Here.
Spartacus.
He's in the loo.
Here.
Spartacus.
Here.
Spartacus.
Here.
Spartacus.
He's in the loo.
Bad Future Candace: How long have I been away? [Reading nearby building names] That's strange. Joe's, Joe's, Joe's, Joe's...
Joe #1: Hi Joe.
Joe #2: Hello, Joe.
Joe #3: [to Bad Future Candace] Pardon me, Joe. You haven't seen my wife Joe, or my friends Joe and Joe?
Bad Future Candace: Uhh, no?
Joe #3: Thanks anyway, Joe.
Bad Future Candace: Why is everyone named Joe?
Joe #4: [Laughs] Why else? So Emperor Doofenshmirtz need not bother remembering names.
Bad Future Candace: And who is...?
Joe #4: [Gasps] I said too much. I said too much! AAAAHHH!!
Joe #1: Hi Joe.
Joe #2: Hello, Joe.
Joe #3: [to Bad Future Candace] Pardon me, Joe. You haven't seen my wife Joe, or my friends Joe and Joe?
Bad Future Candace: Uhh, no?
Joe #3: Thanks anyway, Joe.
Bad Future Candace: Why is everyone named Joe?
Joe #4: [Laughs] Why else? So Emperor Doofenshmirtz need not bother remembering names.
Bad Future Candace: And who is...?
Joe #4: [Gasps] I said too much. I said too much! AAAAHHH!!
Frogogs dislike hanging out with other Frogogs, because if they do and someone calls out "Frogog!" it's hard to tell who they mean.
