Quotes / Hazbin Hotel

S1 E2: Radio Killed the Video Star

Oh god. Here I go, Valentino. Just another fucking day with Val. Hey hey hey. Fuck my life.

—Vox

Vox: Val... Hehe. Think about it. Our brand is, perfection. And what do you think chasing whores around town will, do for our image?
Valentino: Um.....fuck it up?
Vox: Right! Do you want people thinking you can't control your employees?
Valentino: No!
Vox: Exactly! And hey, you still have him under contract. He isn't going anywhere! SO...you should...
Valentino: Do nothing?
Vox: Great idea! Now that's why they pay you the big bucks.
Valentino: Ugh. But I really wanted to shoot someone.
Vox: Well, lemme call up the lowest earners this month.
Valentino: Ohh, you know me too well.... Ya know....Angel isn't the only one spending time at this Ratty Hotel with the devil's princesa.
Vox: Oh? Who else is there? Someone who, owes you money?
Valentino: Someone who owes us much more than money...the Radio Demon is there.
Vox: Eheh... What did you just say?
Valentino: You heard me.
Vox: Alastor... came back...and he is with Lucifer's daughter, and that wasn't the FIRST FUCKING THING YOU TOLD ME?!?!?!

S1 E4: Masquerade

I was an Overlord once, you know. Yeah. And uh... It was nice to have that power. But when you're dealing in souls while also being a gambler, the stakes are pretty high. And losing a few hands can be more than a little dangerous. So when you're down on your luck, you turn to anything to... keep you afloat. Even making deals with yourself. So I know what it's like to... Regret the choices made... And knowin' ya can't take it back.

—Husk

Husk: Maybe I’d treat you better if you were real and not some bullshit version of yourself always pushing my boundaries! Let me tell you nobody in that hotel cares who you are! How famous, how hot. So you might as well just… cut the act.
Angel: [bursts into tears] IT’S NOT AN ACT!
[Husk stands in shock as he listens to Angel]

Angel: It’s who I need to be and this… [gestures at the street lights outside the bar] this is my escape. A place where I can forget about it all how much I hate everything. A place where I can get high and not have to think about how much it hurts.
[Husk’s tail falters in sadness as he continues listening]

Angel: And maybe if I can ruin myself in the process…if I end up broken…I won’t be his favorite toy anymore…and maybe he’ll let me go.

Angel: (whispers) Charlie, what in the ever loving fuck are you doing here?
Charlie: (in a dramatic voice) I am the Princess of Hell Angel and I go where I please! (Whispers enthusiastically) I’m here to get you some time off for the hotel. Now, where’s your boss?
Angel: (trying to usher Charlie out while talking fast obviously panicking) oh no no no you are going nowhere near Val.
Valentino: Angel, what is the fucking holdup!?!
Angel: I’m… coming.
Val: Not off-camera, you’re not!

Valentino: You know she can’t do anything. (Shows a contract with Angel Dust’s real name “Anthony” signed at the bottom) I own you! Or have you forgotten that?
Angel: No.
Valentino: (holding onto smoke chain around Angel’s neck) When I say “come”, you say…
Angel: Yes, Valentino.
Valentino: When I say “you are fucking 20 guys before lunch”, you say…
Angel: (voice breaking) Yes, Valentino.
Valentino: (caressing Angel’s face) when I say “you better get that fucking cunt out of my studio”, you say?
Angel: I… uh…
Valentino: (grabs Angel’s face forcefully) You. Say?
Angel: Look, Val, she just gets involved in everything. I’ll, I’ll tell her to leave. just don’t hurt her.
Valentino: (Throws Angel Dust across the room) I have killed bitches for less than this attitude you’re giving me. You’re lucky you make me money! Now, you’re going to go get rid of her, and then you’re filming all night, get me!?!
Angel: Yes, Val.
Valentino: Good.

S1 E5: Dad Beat Dad

Husk: Big talk for someone who's also on a leash.
Alastor: Aha! What did you say?
[sickly green chain manifests on Husk's neck, which then pulls him down]
Husk: Uhh, nothing! I, uhmm...
Alastor: If you ever say that again, I will tear your soul apart and broadcast your screams for every other disrespectful WRETCH who dares to question me!
Husk: [Quaking with Fear] Understood.
Alastor: Lovely. Good talk, my good man! Always nice to catch up!

—Husk, accidentally pressing Alastor's Berserk Button

S1 E7: Hello Rosie!

Charlie: Sorry. Uh, okay, uh, my name's Charlie, and... Well, I run this hotel with my part... well someone and... Wait, let me start over. Angels are coming to kill us all and we need help defending our realm. So— we, uh... we need your help— With your assistance, we can make a stand for— [Charlie starts singing] ♫I...I have a dream♫ and I—
Susan: Booooo! Get off the stage you blue blood bitch! Booo! We don't give a shit about some hotel! Leave before I eat those big-ass eyes of yours! Boo! Get off! Where's the showmanship? Where's all the finesse? Fucking mediocre!
Charlie: [Flips Susan the bird] FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH!!

—Charlie reaching her Rage Breaking Point after dealing with Susan the Cannibal

S1 E8: The Show Must Go On

Adam: I'm going to wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, CAUSE RADIO IS FUCKING DEAD!
Alastor: What just happened? ....Ffffuck.
[Adam lands a diagonal cut on Alastor's torso]
Alastor: Aaarghh!! ...Have to disagree with you there! Radio's not dead, but it is ending this broadcast...
Adam: Bye, bitch!

—Alastor, finally meeting his match

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