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Quotes / Funetik Aksent

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Harry: Um, why are you talking that way?
Hagrid: An' wot way izzit dat yer referrin' ter?
Harry: That. You know, the accent?
Hagrid: Oh, that. Ter accent's ter create, like, ter illusion of character devel'pmint. Yeh, apparen'ly ter li'l, readers...kin hear, like, my voice insider heads. An' they gets so hung up on muh funny way o' talkin', they dunna notice 'at I'm not hardly sayin' a single thing 'ats ter least bit in'nerestin'.
Harry: I bet it's also helpful for the long passages with just dialogue, so you can tell who's saying what, without having to go back to look.
Hagrid: Yer learnin' fast, yiz are.
Desmond Devlin, in a MAD spoof of Harry Potter

"In this book a number of dialects are used, to wit: the Missouri negro dialect; the extremest form of the backwoods Southwestern dialect; the ordinary "Pike County" dialect; and four modified varieties of this last. The shadings have not been done in a haphazard fashion, or by guesswork; but painstakingly, and with the trustworthy guidance and support of personal familiarity with these several forms of speech.

I make this explanation for the reason that without it many readers would suppose that all these characters were trying to talk alike and not succeeding."

"Look at the way some ither fowk talk! See me, sur, Ah'm inna boozer, doon the Broomielaw, inna war, an' in comes this Yank sailor, frae New Jersey, whurriver the hell that is, an' Ah sez tae him: 'Hullaw rerr, china, hoo's it gaun, an' hoo's Rita Hayworth keepin' these days?' Ye know, fraternisin', bein' pally, like. An' he looks at me like Ah wisnae the full hod o' bricks, an' shakes his heid, an' sez sumpn, an' sae help me Goad, Ah couldnae mak' oot a word o' it. Ye'd ha'e thought he had a moose up his hooter, so ye wid. 'Look, Jimmy,' Ah sez, 'can yez no' speak Henglish?' He got nasty, an' we finished up meltin' each ither, an' got lifted by the Gestapo, so whit Ah'm sayin', sur, is it's no' jist me ye need a dictionary fur..."

"For there is a certain matter never spoken of in polite society, and yet known to all, which will, if we ignore it—pretending that it does not exist—turn what should be a pleasant social occasion into an insufferable ordeal. You do know—or as you would say, ‘ken’—what I speak of, my lord?”

“Crivvens!” exclaimed Lord Gy. “Wha hae foostit ben the heid-hoose!?” Then he added, with unmistakable sarcasm: “Serr’s, a coud gae through the fluir.”

“Brilliant, that is a paradigmatic specimen,” said Throwley. “It is this, my lord: you do not speak English.”

"O-okay... I sssssssssssssssink I'm ready... but zissssssss issssssssssss going to be terrifying und sssssssssssscary, I can tell...!"
Slang's unusual mix of a German accent with Sssnake Talk, Pokémon × Nimja: Play the Game

Narrator: The Bard soon came upon the tracks of some dread beast. Even as he examined the tracks, a fellow who clearly had a serious problem approached.
Macrath: Ach Laddie! Hye yon bogle awa, an' its 'twa pund sterlin' 'll gi' ye!
The Bard: Come again?
Narrator: Well, maybe 'clearly' was the wrong word.


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