Music / The Underwater Melon Man

The Underwater Melon Man and Other Unreasonable Rhymes is a children's book, CD and DVD set with twenty five songs directed and produced by artist Fane Flaws and performed by various New Zealand artists in 2001. The CD has the songs, with the lyrics and illustrations in the book, and the illustrations brought to life in music videos on the DVD. The illustrations and songs were all drawn and written by Flaws.

The work also inspired a musical pantomime, which premiered in New Zealand in 2002. It was planned to go international but never did. Additionally, there was a follow up CD and book planned called The Boy With the Flaming Hair and Other Nefarious Notions, featuring another 25 songs and illustrations that were already finished, but it was never published.

Tracklist:

1. The Underwater Melon Man
2. Melon-Cauli Baby
3. The Girl With The Porcupine Coat
4. The Man With the Cast-Iron Belly
5. Neville, the Enchanted Rug
6. The Hide and Seeky Bird
7. The Girl With the Empty Head
8. The Wicked Conjurer
9. Pottie Trainer
10. Money Trees
11. Thirteen O'Clock
12. Jemima Spride
13. Knights
14. The Forgotten Fork
15. The Girl With X-Ray Eyes
16. Imelda Blade
17. The Man With the Elephant Nose
18. The Girl From Godknowswhere
19. The Eccentric Instrumentalist
20. The Dog With the Saxophone
21. The Mysterious Box
22. The Perfect Stranger
23. El Flamo
24. The Man Who Never Was
25. Dream Girl

The music contains examples of these tropes:

• All Genes Are Codominant: The story of Melon-Cauli Baby is that a male watermelon and a female cauliflower had a baby that looked half watermelon, half cauliflower, apparently considered scandalous by the rest of the garden. The song finishes with them trying to decide on a name for the baby, even though they can't figure out its gender.
• Angel Unaware: The Perfect Stranger depicts the stranger as a pretty woman with a Holy Halo, but it's never explicity stated what she is, just that meeting her is a moment of perfection.
• Born from Plants: The melon-cauli baby appears is the child of a fruit and a vegetable. In the music video, they are even shown underneath a blanket together, implying that they conceived their baby the way humans do.
• Companion Cube: The Eccentric Instrumentalist has someone who treats her tuba like a baby, taking it for walks, reading it stories and feeding it.
• Dem Bones: The story in Imelda Blade states that whenever it gets too hot, Imelda locks herself in her room, puts some music on, takes off her skin and dances to the music as a skeleton. The illustration even shows her skin hung over a chair like clothing.
• Empty Piles of Clothing: In The Man Who Never Was, the lyrics state that they found all the man's clothes and accessories, but never found him, because he never existed. The illustration shows everything positioned to simulate a man's body.
• Forgotten Fallen Friend: The Forgotten Fork tells the story of a happy fork, but he's been lost ever an encounter with the cat ended with him stuck behind the cooker, forgotten and alone.
• Grows on Trees: Money Trees is about, well, trees that grow money.
• Guardian Angel: Dream Girl is apparently friendly with the angel of her uncle in the dream world.
• The Hidden Hour: Invoked with Thirteen O'Clock, although the song states that it happened the night the clock struck thirteen, rather than time stopping at midnight.
• Improbable Appearance: According to the song, the man with the elephant nose is viewed as gorgeous because of his nose.
• Magic Carpet: Neville, The Enchanted Rug is about one of these, which spends most of the song being shouted at by its owner to come back with the furniture.
  "Neville, stop messing about! Bring that furniture back down here now!"
• Magic Is Evil: The Wicked Conjurer, who pulls hats out of rabbits and once sawed a man in half and didn't bother to put him back together.
• Money Fetish: The Girl With The Porcupine Coat, according to the song, is a money hoarder, putting money on the quills in her coat instead of spending it.
• Naked People Are Funny: Jemima Spride's second favourite thing to do is take a horse and ride it while naked. Averted as her favourite thing to do is take a bath with her clothes on.
• Names to Run Away from Really Fast: Imelda Blade may be harmless, but we're still talking about a girl who can take off her skin and become a skeleton temporarily if it gets too hot.
  • Averted in The Girl With the Empty Head, who finds a fortune and leaves it where she found it.
• Or Was It a Dream?: The last minute of Dream Girl has the titular girl (played by Lucy Lawless) talking about dreaming about being a butterfly, but can't help wondering if she really is a butterfly and is dreaming that she's human.
• Paper-Thin Disguise: Everyone is this to the girl with X Ray Eyes.
  "You'll quickly find/She's read your mind/And seen through your disguise."
• Pun: Thirteen O'Clock is full of these.
  "The colander accused the sieve of being full of holes
  The pot informed the kettle it was black
  The kitchen taps began to run around the kitchen sink
  And the oil told the butter it was fat."
• Sealed Good in a Can: The lyrics of The Mysterious Box suggests that is what it is, but there's no way to open it. During the song, the lead singer can be heard trying to break the lock, but still fails to get it open.
  "Every wrong would right if only we could get it open!"
• Third Eye: Dream Girl has one of these, which is shown in the illustration to be open when she is asleep.

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