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Funny / Octopussy

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  • In one of the Narmiest moments of any Bond film, Bond's Tarzan yodel.
  • "Fill 'er up, please?"
  • In a movie loaded with groaners, we get this gem:
    Bond: I trust you can handle this contraption, Q.
    Q: It goes by hot air.
    Bond: Oh, then you can.
  • Kamal and Gobinda getting in their car to escape an imminent nuclear explosion... and the car doesn't start.
    • Before that, as Gobinda is guarding the bomb, a circus worker accidentally knocks its side with a boulder, making him nearly panic.
  • Vijay reporting to bond about his tail of Kamal:
    Vijay: I tailed him all the way to the tennis club this afternoon.
    Bond: Did you learn anything?
    Vijay: My backhand's improved.
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  • Q and Vijay waiting for Bond as he visits Octopussy's island lair:
    Q: 007 on an island populated exclusively by women? We won't see him 'til dawn!
  • Vijay gets a few one-liners in of his own:
    Bond: Vijay! We've got company!
    Vijay: No problem. This is a company car! (revs the tuk tuk for slow-speed chase)
  • Bond sliding down the marble stairwell, realizes there's a rather painful-looking marble knob at the stop, and shoots the knob out of the way before he hits his marbles with it. Chuckle at the obviousness.
    • What really sells it is the look on Bond's face.
  • Bond says, "Hiss off!" to a large, menacing snake. The snake meekly complies.
    • Lets not forget the tiger. It sits!
      • Fridge Brilliance: He uses Kamal's voice and inflection - apparently, the tiger is one of Kamal's pets.
      • The confident tone and especially the way Bond pronounces 'sit' is a Shout-Out to pet training expert Barbara Woodhouse, who was a popular TV personality in Britain at the time.
  • Bond's classy English way of saying, "I don't have time for this bullshit!"
    Bond (dressed as a circus performer): Where can I find the base commander? It's urgent!
    Guard: Let's see your circus pass.
    Bond: DAMMIT MAN! I said it's urgent!
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  • As Kamal and Gobinda are fleeing in a plane, they see Bond clinging to the wing, yanking the wires out of the engine.
    Kamal: He'll kill us all! Go out, and get him.
    Gobinda: Out there?
    Kamal: GO!
    Gobinda: ...Yes, Excellence.
  • Bond's face at the new Bond Girl describing her octopus tattoo as "My little octopussy." One of the few times he responds to a sexual joke with complete bafflement.
  • After Bond wins backgammon against Kamal using his own fixed dice, letting everyone know Kamal's a dirty cheater, Bond tells the British commander who complained "always a double six!" while playing him, "It's not really in the wrist" - referencing Kamal's claim of being able to roll them.
  • Kamal enters Octopussy's room to tell her Bond has escaped...and Bond just strolls up behind him as Octopussy introduces him.
    Bond: An old friend of the family, you might say.
    Kamal: Indeed. You have a very nasty habit of surviving.
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  • Bond hiding in a body bag supposedly containing one of Khan's mooks... and letting out a diabolical laugh as two mooks attempt to dump him away for tiger food. The mooks, apparently thinking they're dealing with a member of the undead, run away screaming.
  • Ladies and Gentlemen, the Angry Fakir!
    (on spotting the dead mook) GET OFF MY BED!
  • Bond looking positively repulsed when served stuffed sheep's head, complete with its eyeballs. We know it is not Gobinda's stare that causes Bond to "lose his appetite".
    • Even more so when Kamal helps himself to an eyeball and eats it with no problem! Bond's baffled reaction says it all.
  • Kamal and Gobinda leave the circus as the bomb ticks away...and their car won't start. They exchange a "seriously?" look.
  • In an extremely tense moment, Bond has defused a nuclear bomb seconds before it goes off. After a few moments, Francisco the Fearless pops out of the cannon to wonder why he hasn't been fired from it yet: "Now???"
    • The fact that the nuke is set to go off just as the cannon is scheduled to fire in the show's finale is a bit of Black Comedy; the circus is set to end with a bang, indeed...


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