Funny / Octopussy

• In one of the Narmiest moments of any Bond film, Bond's Tarzan yodel.
• "Fill 'er up, please?"
• In a movie loaded with groaners, we get this gem:
  Bond: I trust you can handle this contraption, Q.
  Q: It goes by hot air.
  Bond: Oh, then you can.
• Kamal and Gobinda getting in their car to escape an imminent nuclear explosion... and the car doesn't start. They exchange priceless "Seriously?" looks.
  • Before that, as Gobinda is guarding the bomb, a circus worker accidentally knocks its side with a boulder, making him nearly panic.
• Vijay reporting to bond about his tail of Kamal:
  Vijay: I tailed him all the way to the tennis club this afternoon.
  Bond: Did you learn anything?
  Vijay: My backhand's improved.^note Being played a real-life ranked pro tennis player makes it an Actor Allusion.
• Q and Vijay waiting for Bond as he visits Octopussy's island lair:
  Q: 007 on an island populated exclusively by women? We won't see him 'til dawn!
• Vijay gets a few one-liners in of his own:
  Bond: Vijay! We've got company!
  Vijay: No problem. This is a company car! (revs the tuk tuk for slow-speed chase)
• Bond sliding down the marble stairwell, realizes there's a rather painful-looking marble knob at the stop, and shoots the knob out of the way before he hits his marbles with it. Chuckle at the obviousness.
  • What really sells it is the look on Bond's face.
• Bond says, "Hiss off!" to a large, menacing snake. The snake meekly complies.
  • Lets not forget the tiger. It sits!
    • Fridge Brilliance: He uses Kamal's voice and inflection - apparently, the tiger is one of Kamal's pets.
    • The confident tone and especially the way Bond pronounces 'sit' is a Shout-Out to pet training expert Barbara Woodhouse, who was a popular TV personality in Britain at the time.
• Bond's classy English way of saying, "I don't have time for this bullshit!"
  Bond: (dressed as a circus performer) Where can I find the base commander? It's urgent.
  Guard: Let's see your circus pass.
  Bond: Damn it, man! I said it's urgent!
• As Kamal and Gobinda are fleeing in a plane, they see Bond clinging to the wing, yanking the wires out of the engine.
  Kamal: He'll kill us all! Go out, and get him.
  Gobinda: Out there?
  Kamal: GO!
  Gobinda: ...Yes, Excellence.
• Bond's face at the new Bond Girl describing her octopus tattoo as "My little octopussy." One of the few times he responds to a sexual joke with complete bafflement.
• After Bond wins backgammon against Kamal using his own fixed dice, letting everyone know Kamal's a dirty cheater, Bond tells the British commander who complained "always a double six!" while playing him, "It's not really in the wrist" - referencing Kamal's claim of being able to roll them.
• Kamal enters Octopussy's room to tell her Bond has escaped...and Bond just strolls up behind him as Octopussy introduces him.
  Bond: An old friend of the family, you might say.
  Kamal: Indeed. You have a very nasty habit of surviving.
  Bond: Well, you know what they say about the fittest.
• Bond hiding in a body bag supposedly containing one of Khan's mooks... and letting out a diabolical laugh as two mooks attempt to dump him away for tiger food. The mooks, apparently thinking they're dealing with a member of the undead, run away screaming.
• Ladies and gentlemen, the Angry Fakir!
  Fakir: (in Hindi, on spotting the dead mook) GET OFF MY BED!
• Bond looking positively repulsed when served stuffed sheep's head, complete with its eyeballs. We know it is not Gobinda's stare that causes Bond to "lose his appetite".
  • Even more so when Kamal helps himself to an eyeball and eats it with no problem! Bond's baffled reaction says it all.
• While Bond is imprisoned in Khan's palace, he pauses on his way to bed to flirt with Magda, suggesting he could come in for a nightcap. Gobinda interposes and forcibly directs him to his room:
  Bond: "I don't suppose you'd care for a night cap?"
• In an extremely tense moment, Bond has defused a nuclear bomb seconds before it goes off. After a few moments, Francisco the Fearless pops out of the cannon to wonder why he hasn't been fired from it yet: "Now???"
  • The fact that the nuke is set to go off just as the cannon is scheduled to fire in the show's finale is a bit of Black Comedy; the circus is literally set to end with a bang, indeed...
• Real Life examples:
  • During one take of Miss Moneypenny introducing Penelope Smallbone, Lois Maxwell accidentally said "Smallbush". This caused the crew to burst out laughing and Roger Moore quipped, "Well we know where your mind has been, Miss Moneypenny!"
  • Vijay Amritaj recalled that the film opened in London two weeks before Wimbledon and a handful of tennis stars attended the premier.
    When I died in the film, one of the players jumped up in the middle of the theatre and screamed, "I'm in, I'm in!"
  • Special effects man John Richardson recalled a prank the crew played on Moore:
    In the jungle, he was being chased by some baddies and a tiger was supposed to leap out and a snake crawl over his leg. I went to the prop room, as I knew they had a gorilla suit (well, what prop department wouldn't?), which I asked to borrow. I had a word with the first assistant director and his round the back, waiting for Roger to appear. As he hid on the ground peering through the bushes, I climbed on his back and tapped him on the shoulder. Roger's reaction as he looked over his shoulder was priceless and caused amusement all round.
    • And another one:
      I was firing zirconium spark balls from an airgun around Roger, who stood at the back on the train. I had loaded up my capsule gun and we were just about to go for a take when Johnny the electrician appeared - he wore glasses like the bottom of milk bottles. I asked if I could borrow them, put them on and, looking like Mr. Magoo, waited for the shout of "Turn over!", before I called out, "Roger, can you wave your arm so I can see where you are?" I am afraid I cannot repeat his reply!

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