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Funny / Count Duckula

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  • When Igor is trying to teach Duckula about his ancestors:
    Duckula: "I don't want to hear about my forebears, my three bears, Goldilocks or anything else in this rotten dreary hole!"
  • When Duckula's computer messes with some numbers at the bank we see an old lady checking her balance. The teller reads (mistakenly) that she is worth ten million Drachmas.
    "Ten million! Marry me, you temptress. You vixen of desire."
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  • In "No Yaks Please We're Tibetan", Ruffles' gang of thieves are climbing up a mountain in the Himalayas, planning to steal a huge collection of yakhair carpets and sell them for a fortune in the department stores of Europe and America.
    Burt: Er, boss?
    Ruffles: (to himself, frustrated) I don't believe it... (to Burt) What now!?
    Burt: Erm... wot's a yak?
    Ruffles: (standing on a ledge while the other thieves hang on a rope over the edge, oblivious to the huge yak standing right behind him) "Wot's a yak," he says! A yak is a great fat stupid 'airy great cow wot grows in Tibet. Now, 'ave you got any more stupid questions!?
    Burt: Er... no, boss.
    Ruffles: Good! (the yak steps on Burt's fingers)
    Burt: Well, just a little one.
    Ruffles: Oh, Gordon Bennett... WHAT!?
    Burt: Well, it's just, er, could you get your boot off my fingers?
    (Ruffles groans in frustration; the yak steps off Burt's fingers)
    Burt: Oh, thank you, boss. (he lets go of the ledge; gravity kicks in, and the four thieves plummet down the mountainside, landing with their usual "three thuds, short pause, fourth thud")
  • The entire Hoomite Yubi sequence from the first episode' "No Sax Please We're Egyptian". Especially Duckula's Sanity Slippage at the end, when Nanny shows up and it looks like the whole thing is starting over again.
    • Hoomite and Yubi were first seen in the flashback to Duckula's great-great-etc.-uncle, the Archduck, exploring the pyramid. The first part of the scene is the payoff of the Brick Joke of their names:
      (we see a blurred shot of Hoomite through Duckula's eyes)
      Hoomite: He's coming round!
      Duckula: (groans and sits up) Oh... where am I?
      Hoomite: You are in the secret temple of the great god Ra! You have trespassed in Upshi's sacred tomb!
      Duckula: Oh. Oh no. Who are you?
      Hoomite: I am Hoomite, high priest of the great god Ra. And this is my assistant Yubi.
      Yubi: Delighted, I'm sure.
      Duckula: Ah. Hello.
      Hoomite: Who might you be?
      Duckula: Yes, I got that.
      Hoomite: No, who might you be?
      Duckula: Yes, I know, I know, you said that already.
      Hoomite: (glaring at Duckula) So you will not tell me?
      Duckula: Well, I hardly need to, do I?
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    • Duckula has only himself to blame when things escalate due to a moment of grammar pedantry:
      Hoomite: We shall see about that! Yubi, you try.
      Yubi: Oh, very well, Master. (clears throat) Listen. I am Yubi, right?
      Duckula: No, wrong. "I am", "you are".
      Yubi: Ah! There Master, he is Yuarr!
      Hoomite: So you are Yuarr?
      Duckula: I am not, I am not!
      Hoomite: Ah, you are Nott! He is not Yuarr, he is Nott!
      Yubi: You are Yuarr!
      Duckula: (waving his hands in a negative gesture) I am not Yuarr!
      Yubi: Oh, call me not Yuarr! I am not Yuarr, I am not Nott! I am Yubi!
      Duckula: (clears his throat) Look. Let us get this sorted out! Okay? I am not Nott, okay?
      Hoomite, Yubi: Okay.
      Duckula: I am not Yuarr! Okay?
      Hoomite, Yubi: Okay.
      Duckula: (pointing) But you are Hoomite, (Hoomite nods) and you are Yubi, okay?
      Hoomite, Yubi: Okay.
      Duckula: Whew.
      Hoomite: But...
      Duckula: (impatiently) Yes?
      Hoomite: Who might you be?
      Duckula: (begins sobbing and gibbering) I can't stand, I can't stand anymore!
    • The focus of the wordplay then shifts to a popular sailor's song:
      Yubi: Of course you can't stand anymore! We've tied you to the sacrificial altar! And serves you right!
      Hoomite: Yes! All who trespass in the great pharaoh Upshi's sacred tomb shall die!
      Duckula: (gulps) All?
      Hoomite: You are but the latest of many! Our legends say that when the great god Ra has had his fill of human sacrifice, then Upshi shall rise from the dead!
      Duckula: Ah, human sacrifice!
      Yubi: Well, more or less human sacrifice, give or take a feather.
      Duckula: Now wait a minute, you can't do this to me!
      Yubi: Oh, you just hang around and see! (laughs)
      Hoomite: We must! In order that our great pharaoh Upshi may rule again! Yes, he shall have his fill!
      Duckula: Who, Ra?
      Hoomite: And Upshi rises!
      (Duckula hops out of his bindings and joins Hoomite and Yubi in a dance)
      Duckula, Hoomite, Yubi: (singing) Who, Ra, and Upshi rises!
      Hoo-rah, and up she rises!
      Hoo-rah, and up she rises!
      Ear-ly in the morning!
      Yubi: Excuse me...
      Duckula, Hoomite: (singing) Put 'im in the longboat 'til he's sober!
      Yubi: No, no, excuse me!...
      Duckula, Hoomite: (singing) Put 'im in the longboat 'til he's sober!
      Yubi: No, please, stop!
      Duckula: Wait a minute - huh?
      Yubi: I think I'm going to be seasick.
      Hoomite: Well, not in here!
      Yubi: Oh, excuse me. (runs for the door of the tomb)
    • And then Nanny arrives and things start anew:
      (the door of the tomb opens to reveal Nanny standing behind it)
      Nanny: Ooh, now then!
      Hoomite: (awed) It is Upshi! He has cast off his wrappings!
      Nanny: 'Ere! You watch it, saucy!
      Duckula: Upshi!?
      Yubi: Oh, yes, oh, look at that, look! (points to a mural of Upshi, who looks exactly like Nanny)
      Duckula: I don't believe it!
      Hoomite, Yubi: (prostrating themselves before Nanny) Upshi rises! Upshi rises!
      Nanny: Nothing of the sort! Don't be so silly! 'Ere, who might you be?
      Hoomite: He knows us! He knows us!
      Nanny: I see, Henozus, but who might you be?
      Duckula: (runs over and lifts Nanny in his arms) No! No, no, not again, I'm not going through all that again! Come on, Nanny, quick! (runs out of the tomb; Nanny's head smashes on the top of the door, causing it to collapse)
  • Many appearances of Ruffles and his gang feature a Running Gag where they fall from a great height and land with four separate thuds, with a short delay before the fourth thud.
  • Igor's nauseating Tastes Like Diabetes personality after getting doused with Von Goosewings personality altering chemicals. In that same episode, Duckula being transformed into a traditional vampire in the same manner. Even funnier is that Goosewing intended for the chemicals to turn Duckula into a non-vampire, but it instead did the opposite.
  • Igor's hatred of Duckula's harmonica, which he hides at every opportunity
  • From "The Mutinous Penguins": "Tie 'em to the comfy sofa!"
  • Igor's worst nightmare in "The Zombie Awakes!": being surrounded by cute and cuddly bunnies.
  • Igor's attempts in getting rid of engaged couple Scott and Laura in "Igor's Busy Day", all ending in epic failure. Mostly due to Nanny's incompetence.
    • First, he tries to deploy a Falling Chandelier of Doom, but the spyhole next to the trigger, the beak of a statue, is blocked off, and the nearest unblocked spyhole is too far from the beak. He tells Nanny to press the beak when he gives the word, but when Scott and Laura are standing under the chandelier, Nanny misunderstands and hits Igor's beak instead.
    • Next, Igor tries to open a trap door in the library to dump Scott and Laura into the pit of the castle werewolf, Towser. However, he forgets which book acts as the trigger, and causes the bookshelf to swivel around and crush him. When he finally does find the correct book, the door gets stuck until Scott and Laura follow Duckula into the next room, and Igor himself tries stamping on the door... which opens and dumps him into Towser's pit.
    • Later, Nanny finally realises that Igor wanted her to hit the beak of the statue. Unfortunately for Igor, he is now standing under the chandelier to sound the gong for dinner, and is crushed beneath it when it falls.
    • Igor's plans to kill Scott and Laura at dinner are thwarted by Nanny spilling the poisoned soup and Laura's endless story of her large family boring him to sleep.
    • He tries turning a crank to lower a platform of spikes onto their bed, but cannot get the crank to turn, and when he enlists Nanny's help, his coattails get caught in the gears, dragging him into the mechanism.
  • In "The Lost Valley", Nanny knocking out a dinosaur with just a single jab in the stomach and then scolding it as if it was a child.
  • From the comics, Igor commenting upon Duckula's latest ambition: "A vampire casts no reflection; neither can his image be captured on film. A slight impediment to a career as a movie star."
  • In "Unreal Estate", Igor tries to sabotage Duckula's plans repeatedly. It backfires about as much as you'd expect.
  • "I'll get it!"
    • "Igor, order another door."
    • "Hey-ho. Bye-bye, front door."

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