As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.
- Iris's casual reaction to all of the spooky things happening to the Swedish girls in "Checking In," totally playing up the creepy hotel clerk angle. It's partly funny and partly horrifying.
- Iris tormenting Vendela and Agnetha, threatening to force-feed them a nasty mixture with the passion of a To the Pain speech, criticizing them for their lifestyle choices and drug use, and calling them "Swedish meatballs!" It's Kathy Bates veering into Misery territory, and it's hilarious.
- Iris's reaction to the pornstars: "I'm sorry douche-bag convention is at the Hilton"
- Liz Taylor's biting response to Iris demanding to know which room Sally took Donovan to.Liz Taylor: I'm sorry, lady, this is a no-tell hotel.
- Tristan doing everything he can to make a scene at the fashion show Will Drake hosts at the hotel.
- James Patrick March is so Laughably Evil it really should be a crime. H.H. Holmes meets Howard Hughes (with a little Vincent Price), on crack. He basically succeeded where Freak Show's Dandy Mott failed: he became "the U.S. Steel of Murder."March: (watches Tristan snort cocaine) Ahhh, Bolivian Marching Powder. Too tame for my tastes.
- The extremely goofy look on Miss Evers' face when March shoots her in the head.
- When Tristan meets James March in "Mommy":Tristan: I Googled you.
James March, confused but delighted: That sounds obscene.- When Tristan tries to high-five him, March, having no idea what that means, simply moves past it.
- March is practically giddy when Tristan becomes a fan of his work, delighted to tell him about all the cool ways he designed the Hotel Cortez that allowed him to kill so many people. He even lovingly refers to the hotel as his "murder palace."
- Tristan's over the top homosexual seduction of Will Drake.
- And later when Tristan interrupts The Countess's over the top heterosexual seduction of Will Drake. She gives Tristan a feral Death Glare while purring at Will underneath her: "I'll call you tonight. Oh and by the way... you're hard."
- Richard Ramirez and March teaming up to catch a victim is simultaneously hilarious and terrifying:Victim: Help! There's a killer after me!March: And a killer before you!
- Aileen Wuornos proving that Evil Is Hammy in death as she did in life, from her weird little dance intro, to her hyperactive speech, to her constantly flipping her big hair back.
- John's drunken Refuge in Audacity as he, a police detective and family man, decides it's a good idea to take a woman who, from his perspective, strongly believes she is Aileen Wuornos up to his room for a one-night-stand. Whether she's a ghost or not, it's terribly poor judgement, which even Liz Taylor points out. Doesn't stop John, though. It's not much of a surprise when Wuornos hits him upside the head, steals his gun, and ties him to a chair.
- The "Devil's Night" dinner party of phantom serial killers, which James March proudly calls the "Mount Rushmore of Murder."
- John Wayne Gacy's self introduction in "Devil's Night":John Wayne Gacy: "Just because you got 30 bodies buried in your crawlspace don’t mean you can’t have a really terrific rec room and be a respectable businessman."
- Although a bit horrifying, Sally's first exchange with John's daughter was pretty funny. Scarlett rounds the corner whilst running away from the demonic miniature vampires and runs into Sally, whose teeth begin decaying and completely rotting away – falling out in front of her. As she runs away, Sally delivers the only line that prevents this from being straight up Nightmare Fuel.Sally: Kids are the best.
- Arguably, that line makes it even worse due to Fridge Horror: It implies that Sally especially likes scaring and at the very least psychologically torturing children. Just how many has she offered up to the Addiction demon and/or sewn into a mattress somewhere?
- When Liz Taylor criticizes Vogue editors during Will Drake's fashion show.Liz: Just teaching the folks from Vogue how to Vogue. I couldn't resist. The irony.
- She wasn't criticizing, just making a pun. "To vogue" is a sort of performance art practiced in gay bars. It involves imitating / exaggerating the poses of the models in Vogue magazine, like in Madonna's "Vogue" music video.
- Hypodermic Sally's Belligerent Sexual Tension with John Lowe as he pins her to a wall and threatens to put her in handcuffs.John: You're under arrest.Sally: (smiling) Good. (licks his nose)
- Ramona Royale's reaction to discovering Iris is vampire: "She's been turnt!"
- While exploring the hotel on her own, Alex comes across the bloodied ghost of Claudia Bankson who gives this shady remark about her wardrobe.Claudia: Is this hell? No, if it was then I’d be the one in that awful Zara knock-off that you’re wearing.
- The scene with Iris and Liz Taylor talking about how to get back at the hipsters by messing with their food, followed by a cut directly to Liz slapping a can of cat food onto a plate.
- Iris’s “Hell no, I was ready to do this!” while uncharacteristically jazzed up and wielding a revolver and a meat cleaver with which to slaughter the Countess’s children.
- John Lowe running into the lobby naked and covered in blood. Without even glancing up, Liz Taylor says, “Looks like the breakdown’s going well.”
- There's something hilariously fitting about one of the two hipsters from the previous episode eternally wandering the halls of the Cortez demanding kale.
- The look on Elizabeth's face when Iris tells her that Will Drake has gone to get his anus bleached.
- March's Villainous Rescue of Elizabeth when she tries to commit suicide in the 1920s, the beginning of their toxic relationship. He might as well be twirling his mustache.Elizabeth: (crying) Let me go!March: (smiling, holding her closer) No, I don't think I shall.
- Later on, when Elizabeth discovers March hard at work mutilating a dead hobo, he at first has a guilty look on his face and then sheepishly asks, "Do you disapprove?"
- Marcy the Realtor hanging up on someone she'd been chatting away with on the phone:Marcy: I hate that bitch.
- And then, immediately after, some old rotten vampires break into her room, gash open her throat, and drink her blood. They proceed to comment on what a poor meal she made. And these two haven't fed in nearly a century.
- The reaction of these two century-old, oh-so-classy vampires to a group of male, Australian strippers roughhousing on a bed like puppies.
- When Elizabeth tells March that she plans to marry againMarch: Might I suggest that when you murder him you do so off the property. It’d be damned awkward to keep running into him for all eternity.
- It becomes Hilarious in Hindsight when you realize he predicted exactly what would end up happening.
- James Patrick March tells John how he chose his first victim.March: Henry was stealing from me, to be sure, but he had so much more to pay for. Halitosis, for one.
- When John, now accepting he's the Ten Commandments Killer and murders Hahn after he is able to determine he was lusting over Alex, what does he take from him? His penis and testicles.
- Iris admitting to enjoy watching porn but hilariously she admits to hating modern day porn for having no good acting and having no story lines to get involved in.
- At the wedding of The Countess and Will Drake:Minister: Anyone present knows any reason why this man and this woman should not be joined in marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.”Liz Taylor: *Raises hand* Uh, yeah. Because she's a bitch with no conscience, no mercy, no soul-The Countess: Ignore her, she drinks.
- Donovan's confrontation with Valentino before some heavy Mood Whiplash in "She Gets Revenge."
- Donovan's hilarious scrutinizing look after Valentino demands who he is, followed by him replying "I'm you, asshole."
- Valentino calmly takes shots at Donovan.Valentino: You know, your petulance is very common. It is always this way with pretty boys who are past their prime. You should grow out that little beard, you know? Maybe you could find, uh, work in the Westerns.
- Donovan angrily tells Valentino he wouldn't last two days with The Countess once she sees "how you shit yourself at the sound of a traffic helicopter!"
- Valentino drawing a sword in preparation of killing Donovan who, laughing incredulously, remarks "You have a freakin' sword," followed by this exchange:Valentino: You should be honored to die by its blade.Donovan: Bitch, please! (draws a gun and shoots Valentino in the head)
- Also from "She Gets Revenge": The Countess going "Really?" right before shooting a knife-wielding Natacha in the head, followed by her saying, "Who's the little mouse now?!" Her tone and head motion make the second line very entertaining.
- Donovan dancing to, and later both Liz and Iris apparently gunning down Donovan and Elizabeth to "Hotline Bling."
- Iris's Instagram video... just Iris's Instagram video.
- Sally asking John, "Did you come inside her, or did you shoot on her tits like you do with me?"
- From the season finale, psychic Billie Dean's live TV special where she summons the spirits of the hotel:
- Billie Dean: Wait, wait, wait, he's trying to tell me something... [bug eyes] "Mr Wu doesn't pay for WHAT?"note
